UnGibbs Clan
by gotgoats
Summary: Team Gibbs forms a family of sorts, especially following Jenny's death.  This is AU, OOC, and really fluffy.  Involves the entire team. McAbby, no Tiva, Gibbs/OC later in story.  Rating for later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS. I don't own anything associated with it.

Warnings: This is VERY AU and OOC! It is meant to be. Some fluff, some seriousness, a lot of humor. Mostly tongue in cheek or described actions. Ties in to my "Simple Story of Jen and Jethro" universe. If you don't like it, don't read it. Please do not flame. Thanks! Special thanks to my fabulous beta, Headbanger Rockstar! Thanks for your love and support!

NCIS Director Jennifer Shepard had been gone for nearly a year. The letter she had written and thrown away had been read and reread by the entire team, many times over. Gibbs unconsciously began to take a more active role in his team's lives.

He showed up and helped McGee paint his kitchen. He had then taken the young man for dinner, and the two started an odd friendship. McGee loved to spend time in silence simply writing. He knew Gibbs felt the same, and they could be quiet together when both felt the need for unobtrusive company.

Gibbs built Tony a new movie shelf. He'd noticed the younger man needed one the last time he'd been over for dinner. Tony had not been eating well, something which Gibbs couldn't understand. Tony loved to eat. He loved food of all sorts. So he'd begun to take dinner to Tony once a week. McGee invited him to a sports bar to watch the game on Sunday's. Ziva and Abby would tag along for fun. Then came the day Gibbs discovered why Tony wasn't eating…he was helping Sr. pay off debts to a gambling ring. His hard earned money was going to keep his father alive and unharmed. Jethro wasn't happy.

Two weeks after his discovery, Senior found himself in a protected recovery program. He would be given leniency for his many crimes in exchange for testimony against his bookies. Another condition to his unexpected not-quite-incarceration was that he keep his distance from Tony and allow the boy that he had disowned to actually live his life and not clean up his father's multiple disasters.

Abby was in his basement at least once a week, and at least one other time a week, he was in her apartment fixing something or just spending time with her, hearing about her escapades. He laughed, sometimes lectured, but always listened as she babbled on and on about her weekends. He fixed blown out bulbs, changed her shower head, and a myriad of other little jobs that fell into the "dad" category.

Ziva was his "non conventional" child. With her, he went to the firing range or practiced boxing. She talked him into taking her hunting once. And he swore he'd never take her again, much to Tony and McGee's humorous delight. She could shoot criminals and take down terrorists. Just don't ask her to shoot a cute and furry animal. She'd actually cried when her quarry fell.

Somewhere along the way, and no one was ever sure who started it or even could remember when it started, but Gibbs house became the place to be after work on Fridays. They took turns bringing dinner. Gibbs just got a newer couch and a couple of chairs. He didn't argue when he came home one Saturday after helping Abby and saw the boys hooking up a ridiculously large flat-screen TV in his living room. He'd just shaken his head and moved toward the coffeepot.

French Vanilla and Hazelnut creamer now had places in his fridge. Marine Hemoglobin was replaced by fewer grounds on the weekend. He complained about the "warm colored water", but he drank it anyway. Caff Pow!, fruit punch, and lemonade was showing up in his formerly unused spare fridge in the garage along with 12 packs of beer, who could forget the popsicles in the freezer. Certainly not Tony and Abby.

Take-n-bake pizzas and cartons of Chinese food were constantly being left half-eaten on his counters during the week, as if his team had some schedule of "make sure Gibbs eats…and only pizza or cold Chinese."

Ducky and Palmer started to join them on the weekends, Jimmy often bringing his girlfriend along. She made a comment to Ducky several weeks after her first visit to the "Gibbs Gathering" that she thought it was fascinating that the entire family could work together so well. And still be friends on the weekends. He'd laughed and explained to her that none of them were related, unless you counted love as the DNA.

Ducky jokingly told Gibbs, who shook his head and admitted that he liked having everyone around. He didn't say anything to his team. He just smiled one of those rare smirks for no reason that had everyone guessing what he was up to. Abby asked Ducky, Ducky told her, she told the others, and thus it became an accepted fact. They were the un-Gibbs Clan. And they all loved it.


	2. Meloncholy Moments

Disclaimer: Once again, I own nothing! This is still very OOC, still AU, and I will still ask for no flames! Thanks!

Thanks also to my awesome beta, Headbanger Rockstar! You've been a huge support, Hon, thanks! Ptbbbbbbbbbbb! Jus' fo yoo.

Gibbs shook his head as he watched Abby and Tim leave. They were spending more and more time together these days, which made him nervous on one hand, yet on the other, it settled him. Both of them seemed more content, more focused, and that suited Gibbs fine. He also liked not worrying about Abby out at clubs.

He'd have to reconsider Rule 12. That much he knew. But it was happening. Tony and Ziva had dated, and thankfully had decided to not continue it. At least, that was what they had decided this week. It seemed Rule 12 was going to need to be something along the lines of "Keep it out of the Office." He wondered if he'd be able to enforce it any better than the current Rule 12. He decided probably not.

They had their usual movie night, and when the "kids" left, Gibbs normally went downstairs and started sanding until he was tired. He would fall asleep under his boat, maybe with the pillow Abby had left for him under his head, maybe not.

Tonight, however, he felt an overwhelming melancholy. He liked a quiet, well ordered house. He liked his hours of sanding in silence, with the TV being an occasional companion. But tonight it made him edgy.

Gibbs walked down his basement stairs and picked up his sanding block. He rubbed it over the rib he was working on over and over again. The wood smoothed out, seemed to become soft and, as Kelly had described it once, "petty".

His mind wandered as he sanded, his thoughts going from Kelly to Shannon, then on to his father, his first mother in law, Jo Ann, to his multiple ex-wives. He felt bad, he really did. He knew he'd hurt them emotionally. He hurt them, not intentionally, but out of his own pain.

He got angry with himself and threw down his block. He sat for a while on a sawhorse, just staring at his calloused fingers that he held clasped before him. He wondered where this funk he found himself in came from. He could think of nothing. It wasn't the day they died. Not the date she died. No divorce, no birthday he'd forgotten, nothing about the case that they'd finished bothered him still.

Something just wasn't right. He began to pour himself a shot, then decided against it. Bourbon was for nights when he was calm, ready to relax. This was not such a night.

He paced for a bit, walked around his boat a few times, inspected the ribs, made sure the joints were fast. Nothing was out of order there. Shaking his head, he walked upstairs and into his bedroom. He grabbed some clean clothes and headed into his bathroom.

He showered for the second time of the evening, his thoughts still running rampant. Without realizing he was even doing it, he started speaking.

"I just don't know anymore." He spoke softly, as if afraid that someone would hear him. "I've tried, I really have. I've worked hard, I've taken care of my team." It was then that he realized he was speaking out loud. He shrugged. It was making him feel better.

"I like having them here. I like knowing that they're safe." He stopped and thought about his words for a minute. "I like knowing that they're safe." He repeated that phrase another time, letting his mouth nearly savor the words. "Knowing that they're safe."

Tears filled his eyes, once again unusual for him. He didn't let them fall. He wouldn't if he could help it. But he knew what was wrong. He'd lost Shannon, Kelly, Jenny. He'd lost his mother, he'd lost so much. And he was afraid of losing again.

Something changed in him that night as he pondered this great truth about himself. He loved. He loved deeply. He loved often, and he loved completely. When he let himself admit to it. And he was ready to admit that he loved his team. His family. His children.

Gibbs sat in silence once again, this time not bothered by a nameless worry. He was at peace. He knew.

Sitting on the edge of his bed, finishing dressing after his shower, he started to chuckle at himself. He decided he'd use up what DiNozzo had deemed his "daily word allotment".

"Thanks, Jenny." He grinned at the empty air before him, imagining she was standing in his doorway. "Thanks for a beautiful family." As he drifted off, he murmured one final thing. "Kelly would have loved them. Of course, Shan'd complain about the dishes." With that, he slept, a smile on his face.

He didn't know what life would bring, but he knew it would be good. It had to be. After all, when Winter ends, Spring comes again. Jethro felt for the first time in years like his soul had taken off its winter cloak and was dancing in the new sunlight of spring.


	3. Sometimes Mistakes are Wonderous

Disclaimer: I still do not own NCIS. If only….if only….

Second Disclaimer: This is wildly AU! Please do not flame! If you don't like it, please don't read it.

Author's note: To all of you who have favorited and alerted this story, thank you so much!

Thanks again to Headbanger Rockstar for being my Beta! Ptbbbbbbbb!

Tim and Abby drove slowly home from Gibbs house. It had started to rain, and Tim was overly cautious with her in the car. A habit that she loved, while at the same time hated. She wanted to remind him she wasn't made of glass.

He reached for her hand as they sat at a stop light. She laced her fingers through his, mildly surprised, yet very glad when he allowed her to keep hold of his hand when the light changed.

Two months had passed since Gibbs' great epiphany. They'd spent more time with him, yet had never specified to the man that they were dating again. The young couple had been very careful to not give away their relationship in any way. She figured her "dad" knew, Tim was convinced they'd managed to figure out their relationship before being figured out.

Abby asked McGee to stop at the drug store on their way to her apartment, and he pulled in, both lost in nervousness. She purchased three over the counter pregnancy tests, all the while looking anywhere but at the clerk. She wasn't embarrassed, per se, but she was afraid. If she didn't make eye contact, maybe by some miracle, she'd start her cycle on the way home. She was a week late. Only a week.

McGee waited outside, like his girlfriend had asked him to. He watched, wishing he could be with her. He wondered how Gibbs would react. They'd been careful. Except that one day. She'd forgotten her birth control pill, and it had to happen on the same day that the condom they used for double protection broke.

He allowed a quick smile. If she was pregnant, this baby was determined.

Once home, she went into the bathroom and took the tests. Nervousness overcame her, and she sat and sat, the longer she tried to go, the more the urge passed. Finally. She did the three tests, and went out to wait the three minutes the first test required.

Tim paced back and forth. His eyes were closed, and he didn't notice that Abby had snuck from the bathroom and was watching him. He was so cute when he was worried. His hands were locked behind his head, his steps were slow, and he took deep breaths, as if trying to remind himself to stay calm.

Abby cleared her throat, and his eyes flew open, his posture totally opening to her. She shrugged and looked at the clock on her dresser.

"Two and a half more minutes." He nodded as he came to her side.

"I'm scared." He chuckled. "I want to have kids, but I wasn't expecting…"

"You know, McGee, you don't have to stay if I…"

"Abby!" Shock registered on his face. "That's not what I meant! I just meant that I thought it'd be in a year or so, that we'd be engaged, maybe married…" He pulled her to him and hugged her close. "I don't want anybody else to have my kids, Abs. I just thought we'd have at least figured ourselves out before we added a baby."

"So you're not mad?" She sounded so fragile to his ears.

"Mad? No! I'm happy." He kissed her softly. "A baby is happy, Abs. If we're having a baby, I'm gonna be so happy." She sniffed, and he backed away from her a bit. "Why the tears, Abs?"

"Gibbs is gonna kill us." He laughed and pulled her back to his chest.

"Yeah, he will." She shot him a horrified look. "Just remind him that he's Grandpa Gibbs." Tim smiled. "That may be our saving grace." Abby smiled in response.

One short minute later, they entered the bathroom together. She picked up the first test and it's instructions. One line no, two lines yes. Two blue lines were abundantly clear. She picked up the next. A blue circle meant no, a pink circle meant yes. The circle was nearly hot pink. Tim read the directions for the next while Abby picked it up. A minus sign meant no, and a plus sign meant yes. The two lines were unmistakable. Tim whooped and picked Abby up, his mouth crashing over hers.

Abby was still processing. It wasn't for another twenty minutes, after she'd brushed her teeth, and after she and Timmy had gone to bed, he spooning behind her with his hand over her abdomen that her eyes flew open. She sat up, a wide smile on her face, energy fairly flowing off of her.

"TIMMY!" He sat up with her, worried. He lost his worry as she turned to him, her face aglow. "We're having a baby! A baby!" She threw her arms around him, her joy contagious. It was another hour before they fell asleep, exhausted and sated, a gentle smile on both of their faces.

"We need to call Ducky." Abby was eating her usual weekend breakfast of whatever delightfully sugary cereal she was in the mood for, while Tim was munching on eggs and toast.

"Yes, and you know he's going to tell you no more of that…" He motioned to her bowl in disgust, "stuff. It's not healthy for the baby."

"And yet when I wanted Caff-Pow yesterday, it wasn't an issue."

"We didn't know then."

"We may not have known, but it was still caffeine for our littlest un-Gibbs." Tim's mouth opened, then snapped shut, and he nodded once quickly.

"No more Caff-Pow, then." He started to eat again, only to have one of her socks come flying and hit him on the head. It landed dangerously close to the edge of the plate.

"What was that for?"

"I'm not close enough to hit you." She glared at him. "You can't take away everything. You're not some Dom. We're talking to Ducky, and doing what he says."

"Fine." He picked up his cell.

"Good morning, Timothy!" Ducky's voice rang out in obvious cheer.

"Good morning, Ducky." Tim's smile reached his voice. Abby was already back to her usual bouncy self. Hormones, he guessed.

"What can I do for you, lad?"

"Well, Abby and I were wondering if we could come over and talk to you for a bit."

"Oh, is something wrong?" Tim had now put it on speaker, and Abby squealed at the question.

"No! Everything is right!" She jumped up and ran around the table to Tim's chair and plopped herself in his lap. "We found out last night that I'm pregnant. Took three tests, because I'm like, a week late, and you, being you, know how regular I am." Tim tapped her leg and she got back on track. "Anyway. I took three tests, and all three were positive. We're having a baby!" Ducky chuckled.

"I'm happy for you. I'm actually out right now, and I can be to Abby's apartment in, oh, an hour. Will that work for you? I'm assuming you're at Abby's, anyway."

"Absolutely, and yes we are. Good call." Tim answered, as Abby was already off to get her clothes together. Only an hour for a shower, getting dressed, and well…with any luck, she could get a long shower with her baby's daddy.

"Good. I'll see you then."

Tim had barely gotten dressed when their doorbell rang. Ducky stood outside with a small bouquet. Just like Ducky and Abby, it was eclectic.

"Come in!" Tim stood back and let Ducky through just as Abby came from the bedroom. She was dressed simply in yoga pants that Ziva had talked her into on a shopping trip months ago. The Goth had been considering breaking down and adding a few more to her wardrobe.

"Duck Man! They're beautiful!" She went to him and engulfed him in one of her trademark hugs.

"Thank you, Abigail." He pulled back and looked her over carefully. He smiled at what he saw. "You are radiant this morning."

"As I should be." She took the proffered flowers. "Ok, I know you didn't just pick out whatever flower you thought looked cool." Her eyebrow raised as she glanced at him. "Do tell."

"The Dandelion, which I regrettably had to pick on my way over here, stands for faithfulness and happiness. May you always have both. The white Heather is a flower that tells of the sender's hope that your wishes will all come true. The Moss on the base is motherly love, which by looking at your radiance this morning, I can tell is already well seated in you." Abby blushed.

"The Acacia stands for a concealed love, which if I am not mistaken, the two of you have been endeavoring to keep your relationship to yourselves." Tim nodded in agreement. He was wondering just how Ducky knew all of this. It was cool. "And finally, the pink Rose is to wish you perfect happiness."

"I realize that it may not be the most beautiful grouping when together, but I could think of no better way to put my thoughts and feeling into something tangible."

"It's perfect, Ducky, really." Abby wiped a tear from her cheek as she spoke.

"Now, let's talk about this baby of yours!" Ducky's eyes lit with humor as he placed himself on the couch. He was having the time of his life.

Hours later, it was determined that Abby needed to ease her caffeine addiction, tapering it back until she was no longer needing it. She had until the end of her first trimester. No more sugar cereals while she had the Caff-Pow thing going on, she needed to eat six small meals, all containing protein and fruit or vegetable. Folic acid was discussed, and Abby groaned as she realized just how much her diet would be changing.

They had also discussed the timing of when to tell everyone.

"I know that you are excited, as well you should be. However, I do need to throw in a word of caution." He cleared his throat. "Many women find their first pregnancy difficult, or have it end in heartbreak through miscarriage." He held up his hand to stop their interruptions. "I am not saying that I expect this to happen. I am merely saying that you may wish to think about waiting until you are past what is considered the dangerous time, the first trimester, before you share your good news."

"So, you think we should wait to tell?"

"Only if you feel that you should, Abigail. I am simply giving you the information, and am asking you and Timothy to discuss it. Nothing more, nothing less."

"Alright." The three sat and chatted for a bit longer. Ducky regaled them with memories of seeing babies delivered in villages in India and the differences between those births and the sanitary hospitals of India, and then the even more drastic differences between India and America.

"Do you think we should wait?" Abby sat curled up with Tim as they watched a movie.

"Perhaps." He drew in a deep breath. "I think that whatever we do, you have a bigger say in it."

"Why?"

"You're the one having the baby." He grinned. "I know that I would choose to wait, only because Gibbs is making so much, I don't know, progress, that I'm afraid that if something _does_ go wrong, that he'll be losing again. I mean, I don't want anything bad to happen. And I want to meet," he rubbed her belly gently, "this little guy in 8 and a half months."

"But you don't want to see Gibbs hurt if the unthinkable, which won't happen, by the way, happens."

"Yeah." They sat in silence for a moment.

"Then we're not telling Tony or Ziva, either." Abby was determined, and Tim grinned.

"Nope. Nobody but Ducky will know. Not until the three months are up."

"Agreed." She grinned at him. "And you said little guy. It's a girl." Tim playfully tugged at her pigtail.

"Nope. It's a boy. And his name will be, oh, Febron Fineus McGee Scuito un-Gibbs." He laughed as a throw pillow smacked into his face and Abby pretended to try smothering him.

On Monday, Gibbs got her a Caff-Pow and was amazed when he went in to check on her later in the day, that she had just finished her first.

"You feeling alright, Abs?"

"Yeah, Gibbs." She grinned at him. "I'm trying to wean myself from my caffeine addiction." She bounced up to him. "You know how I do that from time to time."

"Yeah, and it usually affects your work."

"Ah, yes, but usually, I go cold turkey. This time, I'm going to doing it slowly." She drug the word out comically, her hand moving in the sign for slow. "Not cold turkey. So it shouldn't affect my work."

"Whatever you say, Abs." He smiled at her. "Wha'cha got for me?"

"Nothing that makes any sense, Gibbs." She pulled up some information and put it on the larger view screen so he could see it easily. "These here," she pointed to a set of jagged fibers, "are not supposed to be there, as they come from what seems to be oak. Why would fibers from something oak be found in this? And, how did they get there?" He was already out the door. Something apparently he knew, but just put together ran through his mind. "Oh, good job, Abs." She grinned to herself. "Just piece it together so the evidence will follow whatever I know is going on. But I won't tell you, because I need for you to be able to do everything without preconceived notions, so it will stand up in court."

She chuckled and got back to work, her findings backing up exactly what Gibbs famous gut had told him. Tim showed up about twenty minutes later with a Caff-Pow and a cupcake.

"Timmy! You know I'm not allowed that much sugar!"

"Courtesy of Gibbs. Said he didn't see you eating lunch today, and wanted to be sure you got something. He said that without your usual soda intake, he's worried."

"Awww. That's so sweet." Tim shared her cupcake as they chatted about the case, figuring the pieces out. He helped her store the evidence properly, and turned to go when she called him back.

"Yes?"

"You forgot to say bye."

"I said bye." He looked confused.

"Only to me." She fairly whined, a small smile playing on her lips. He laughed and patted her stomach.

"See you later, alligator. Daddy loves you." With that, he went upstairs, grinning the entire time.

On Friday, Tony and Ziva showed up early to Gibbs for their usual movie night, Abby and Tim were a little late, and Gibbs was nowhere to be found. The four shared a noisy meal of take out that had them all laughing. Ziva brought gyros and a chickpea salad, Abby had talked McGee into getting hushpuppies, coleslaw, and latkes. McGee had purchased a rotisserie chicken, and Tony had pizza with the obligatory antipasto salad.

Gibbs came in as they were finishing and looked at the leftovers. "All four of you pregnant?" They laughed in return, and Abby barely withheld her "I am!" This decision to not say anything was hard.

Abby fell asleep during the movie, and Gibbs looked over to Tim, who she was currently leaning against.

"She ok?"

"Yeah. It's the whole no caffeine thing."

"You sure?"

"Yep." Tim hoped he sounded convincing. He must have, for Gibbs went back to watching the movie.

Two months passed, and the young parents were getting eager to spill the beans. She'd had her first OBGYN appointment, and she had ultrasound pictures burning a hole in her pocket. The OB had said that everything looked great, that her womb was growing properly, that the baby was a good size for how far along she was, and that no, they couldn't tell yet if it was a boy or girl.

Month three brought along morning sickness. No horrible morning sickness, but enough that McGee was rising (and swallowing copious amounts of bismuth for his own roiling stomach) before she was so he could bring her dry toast before she even sat up. Most days she felt queasy until she had a good meal, and the smell of eggs made her sick, but otherwise she was having it easy. McGee, however, was popping antacids until noon, and the smell of Gibbs' coffee would send him racing to the bathroom.

Only twice had she thrown up at work, once was unfortunately when Gibbs came in. The couple discussed that night if they should tell their intrepid leader early, or still continue to wait. They decided to wait.

Unknown to them, Gibbs had already gone to Ducky and demanded answers, none of which the older man would give. He'd simply smiled his most charming smile and said, "Just be patient, Jethro." Gibbs hated waiting. Especially when it came to his girls. He nearly head slapped himself when he realized the answer.

Four weeks passed. Four long, boring weeks in which Abby bit her lip every time she saw Gibbs. She wanted to tell him so badly. But she'd agreed. Finally, three days before random date they had agreed to talk to Gibbs on, she stood before the mirror. She frowned as she looked at herself.

"Timmy?" Her voice held an uncertain quality that alarmed him.

"Yes?" He poked his head in from where he was dressing.

"We need to tell Gibbs. Like, today, tell Gibbs."

"Ok." He drug the word out slowly. "What brings this on?"

"I'm showing." She pouted.

"That's not a good thing?"

"That's a great thing, but it's a bad thing, because Grandpa doesn't know." She motioned wildly with her hands. "So that turns it into a bad thing." She met his eyes in his reflection. "Grandpa has to know." She hedged a moment. "Well, he probably knows already anyway. He's Gibbs."

"He doesn't even know for sure that we're dating, Abs. How will he know you're pregnant?"

"Hello. Leroy Jethro Gibbs. The man's psychic."

"He's not psychic."

"Then explain the Gibbs Gut."

"Abby, we are way off topic, and we've talked about the Gibbs Gut. You know I can't explain it."

"See, that's because it's inexplicable. He's psychic." Tim just sighed and changed the subject.

"Tonight after work?"

"Today at lunch?" Tim shook his head to that one.

"I have to work with him the rest of the day, Abs."

"I know." She sighed heavily, but then brightened. "Tonight, after work. We have dinner first, because we're always really hungry after work, and then we'll go see Grandpa Gibbs."

"Sounds like a good plan to me!" He came in and kissed her. It was a long time before either finished getting dressed.

That night found Tim and Abby standing in Gibbs living room, she tugging on one of her own pigtails, and Tim picking at his fingernails. Gibbs stood with crossed arms, looking at them with only slightly veiled humor. He was enjoying this.

"Gibbs," Abby started, then stopped.

"Yeah?" He raised his eyebrows, nearly losing to his urge to smile. He loved this. His kids were nervous. Like them dating was something he didn't know.

"Well, we, um…" Timmy started, and he stopped as well. Gibbs felt like laughing. He couldn't resist.

"_You gonna tell me some time today that you're pregnant, Abby?" The younger people's eyes widened and she looked at him as Tim looked at Abby in shock. His girlfriend had a pleased smirk on her face._

"_See, Timmy, I told you he knew." She stepped forward into Gibbs embrace, laughing as he lightly tapped her butt._

"_That's for letting yourself get knocked up." She could hear the smile in his voice._

"_You're not gonna hold that against this little Scuito, are you?" Her tone was equally playful. _

"_Nope, but I am gonna do this." He reached out and delivered a DiNozzo-worthy head slap to his youngest agent, grinning the entire time. "Now, Abs." He straightened up and looked at his "daughter" seriously. "I want to talk to McGee. Give us a minute."_

_They told the rest of their family, and the bunch was overjoyed. Ziva began showing up to movie night with onsies, Tony usually had some movie, like Baby Mozart, or Baby Einstein. Tim and Abby had pictures of ultrasounds after every appointment, and Gibbs kept his copy upstairs in his dresser along with the ones he and Shannon had saved from Kelly._

_Abby was growing more rotund, and she was getting nervous. Her due date was only a month away, and they realized with horror that her due date was on the day Jenny passed. It had been sunny in California, yet snowing in DC. Abby hoped she'd have her baby before her due date. Or even after. But not on that day._

_Abby entered her third trimester, and Gibbs just chuckled. She was not a happy pregnant lady. Her feet hurt, they were swollen most of the day, her moods jumped from one to the next, and poor Tim just tried to keep up. Gibb offered some advice from time to time when the young man looked too frazzled. _

_Their wedding was planned, and she would walk down the aisle on Gibbs arm in only four days. Today, however, she sat on Gibbs couch, Jethro on one side, and Ziva on the other. McGee had said some random thing about her wedding dress, and while no one else who heard it thought it was evil, the poor woman was convinced Tim hated her current figure. _

_Ziva didn't know what to do beyond be there for her, but Gibbs patiently explained over and over that Tim loved her. He loved how she looked. He didn't think she was fat. And he tried not to smirk while he did it. He remembered a time when he'd made the same mistake with Shannon. Poor Tim._

_Abby went home with Tim that night, and the young man wined and dined her to perfection. Tony helped him clean their house, the senior agent then went shopping for a wide variety of "feel goods" for Abby, as he had a better idea of what to look for…Tim told him in no uncertain terms that since Tony was such a run-around, that he would know the good stores, and he didn't care about money at this point. Tony's reply was a grin and a request for a credit card. _

_Tony behaved himself, spending less money than Tim had expected, yet the things he did buy were thoughtful and Tim was sure Abby would be happy with them. And indeed she was. When they entered their house, tears filled her eyes, but they were not the hurtful tears of earlier. _

_Roses sat waiting for her, black, of course, and a gentle smell permeated the air. She found it belonged to the new potpourri warmer, which was, to her amusement, a skull. She had seen it when she was out with Tony one Saturday. They had gone to a specialty store on a lark, and she had seen it. She assumed he told Tim, and now here it sat. Tim led her up to their room, where a small table sat._

_It held two covered plates and silverware. Wine glasses glinted prettily in candle light. Whatever they were going to have for dinner smelled fabulous. The bottle of wine was already open, and she picked it up, expecting to have to remind him that she couldn't have any, even for an apology. _

_Tears filled her eyes. He hadn't bought wine, or champagne, or anything that would be harmful to the baby. It was simply sparkling juice in a fancy bottle. _

"_Timmy, I…" She stopped and looked at him, not sure of what to say. He smiled in return._

"_I love you, Abby, and I'm sorry that I hurt you earlier. I didn't mean to."_

"_I know." She started to say something else._

"_Not another word, Abby. It's over." He said it gently, drawing her into a snug hold as he spoke. He kissed her then. "Let me show you how much I love you, ok? Let me pamper you." Not knowing what to say, she smiled brightly through her happy tears and nodded. _

_Three days later, Gibbs walked her down the aisle toward Tim and their new life. The younger man smiled, his eyes focused solely on her. Tony stood to his side as the best man, and Palmer was his second. Ziva stood opposite to Tony, Abby's friend Deloris stood opposite of Palmer. _

_Tim had, of course, never seen her dress, and Gibbs thought that maybe the young man still hadn't seen it, for he'd not looked away from her face. Gibbs asked the photographer to take a lot of picture of her and the dress. It was special ordered from a dress shop that specialized in making Victorian wedding dresses._

_The sleeves were long and flowing, coming together at the wrists by dainty cuffs that were adorned by pearl buttons. They were of the same sheer lace that covered the top of the empire-style bodice. The sheer lace then separated and flowed around the bottom, making a sort of cloak over the plain pale underskirt. The lace was ivory, and the satin that it covered, a light peach._

_In her hands, she carried a small bouquet made up entirely of globe amaranth. When the florist questioned her choice, Abby simply stated, "look up their meaning." The flower means "undying love, or eternal joining". While perhaps not the prettiest of all flowers, and an odd choice for a wedding, it sent her message clearly to the man she walked toward. He would understand. No one else needed to._


	4. Welcome to the World

Disclaimer: I still do not own NCIS. And, I am not a doctor.

Second Disclaimer: This is wildly AU! Please do not flame! If you don't like it, please don't read it.

Author's note: To all of you who have favorited and alerted this story, thank you so much!

Thanks again to Headbanger Rockstar for being my Beta! Ptbbbbbbbb!

Christmas was a busy time. Not only were the four kids planning on swamping Gibbs house for the day, but they had invited the "Mallard Gaggle." By that, they meant Ducky, Palmer, and Breena. The Mallard Gaggle weren't as thrilled with their name, but even they had to agree that the "Clan" had already been taken. And besides, a Gaggle did refer to ducks…geese…water fowl of some sort.

Christmas Day came, and Gibbs rose at dawn, as usual. He stumbled up the stairs from where he'd fallen asleep on his boat skeleton to smell coffee already brewing. Ziva stood at the stove, stirring something.

"Smells good." He walked to the coffee maker and poured himself a cup. "Didn't hear you come in."

"I'm not surprised." Her eyes held humor. "You were snoring loud enough that I could hear you up here."

"I don't snore."

"Yes, you do." Ziva chuckled. "Every time you get a head cold, you snore." She pushed a box to him. "Take one."

"Theraflu?" He shook his head. "Not sick. Just a stuffy nose."

"Take it, and stop being a baby." She groused playfully. "What is it with you and Tony? Never wanting to take medicine. Just swallow it and get it over with."

"I don't whine, and I don't need this crap." He glared at her. "But I'll take it. Just to make you happy. I could ask why you and Abby feel the need to stuff crap down our throats all the time."

"Because every Peter Pan needs a Captain Hook." Gibbs actually laughed at that one. "Have a good morning, Gibbs. I need to get out of here before Tony wakes up." She smiled to her dad. "He'll be jealous and unreasonable all day if he misses on having his morning with you and Jackson."

"You're family, too, you know."

"Yes, but I did not grow up celebrating Christmas being ignored. He did." She rose on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek. "The turkey is cooking, that pot can stay on low until I come back. I'll see you in a few hours."

"Alright, Ziver." He hugged her back and chuckled to himself as she left as quietly as she came in. She was right. Tony would sulk if he didn't get dad to himself this morning.

He went up for a shower after he'd finished a second cup of coffee and that infernal Theraflu. While he was in the bathroom, Tony came in and switched out his clothes. Gone were the comfy sweats and the old NIS shirt. Gone was the small wrapped present on his dresser, and in it's place lay a plastic pickle. Tony was really being impatient this morning. He usually waited for Gibbs to finish showering at least.

In his original outfit's place were a pair of jeans and a shirt. Not just any shirt. It was a shirt that had Santa hats all over it along with reindeer holding beer bottles and coffee cups. Gibbs shook his head and put it on. Abby would never forgive him for disappointing any of them by not wearing it.

The morning flew by quickly. Everyone, including Jackson, showed up for lunch. Ducky went into a great description of various games traditional to Christmas and how they came to be. Tony went on his own tear, telling of how he and Abby got the idea for a new game one night while watching the Muppets and downloading death metal videos. It consisted of Muppet names and corresponding musical jargon. No one but the two seemed to get it, but the group tried anyway. Jethro was convinced they were all nuts.

The gift exchange had been mostly comical, with one serious addition. Gibbs and Jackson left for a few minutes, called for Tony, and then returned, all carrying parts of the crib. Jethro had finished it only the night before.

The crib was made of a deep cherry, it's grains a dark but beautiful reddish black. He had given it three coats of boiled linseed oil so that it was virtually waterproof, and then followed it up with several coats of tongue oil, so it was protected from most anything else. The slats were carved, little animals on each one.

The ends were beveled at the top, and Gibbs had spent hours working the large pieces. Sail boats and little fish adorned the ends. There was a small shelf that could be attached to one end, large enough to hold a CD player. Jackson had purchased the best mattress he could find. He'd done his research, and was convinced that this was the most hypoallergenic and safest one on the market.

Abby had cried while Tim stammered his thanks. The next day, Jethro and Jackson showed up at the young couple's new house and set it up in their nursery. With a loving wink, Jackson put the mattress in, along with a large Paddington Bear.

"Every crib with sail boats needs a Paddington all of its own." Abby hugged him as tightly as her distended belly would allow.

Five weeks into the new year, Abby had yet another of her weekly OB appointment, and she was 80% effaced and measured at 3 cm. She was safe to deliver at any time, for it was only two weeks until her due date. She was more than ready.

Tim and Gibbs doted on her, bringing her even the most basic of things, when all she wanted to do was be normal. She wasn't on bed rest, but with the men's actions, you would have sworn she was. She was going nuts, and threatened to castrate Tim if he cancelled the movie night they had planned over at Gibbs.

They'd not gotten a chance to watch "Nightmare Before Christmas" before Christmas. So of course, they were watching it now. Gibbs had chuckled when they told him the title. Of course, three of them, Tony, Abby, and Jimmy, were up for Christmas movies year round. It shouldn't have surprised him. The three were busy converting the "normal" ones.

Leroy Jethro Gibbs sighed as he looked out the window. Instead of lessening, the snow was growing in size of flakes, and how fast they were falling. So much for having his house back tonight. The wind shook the house, and he decided that even though Tim and Abby lived only ten streets away, he was going to insist they stay the night.

Fifteen minutes later, when he told his family about his decision, Tony fist pumped and ran outside for his go-bag, grabbing Ziva's while he was outside. Palmer grinned, but then got upset. He was supposed to be at his girlfriends house in the morning.

The young man argued against staying, and Gibbs found himself wishing for the younger, stammering version who would never have dreamed of defying him. The "other Palmer" would have simply said "yes, sir, I mean, Gibbs, I mean…" before stumbling away to some other corner of the house. Gibbs had won the young man over, and just as the others had called him "dad" from time to time, he'd heard himself referred to as "Uncle Gibbs" when no one knew he was around. It had made him smile.

Gibbs told him to call. His life wasn't worth making Breena smile. If she loved him, she'd insist he stay put. The younger man grinned when that was his girlfriends reply.

Tony and Palmer were fighting over who got the last piece of pizza, while Ziva was busy making beds up upstairs, and a very pregnant Abby was driving her husband nuts. He planned on putting the young couple into his room, Ziva in Kelly's old room, and Tony and Palmer could share the double bed in the spare room. He'd take his boat.

Gibbs smirked as he listened to Tim sooth her fears...or try to. Her feet hurt. Her back ached. She had indigestion. And he needed to make it all better. Gibbs nearly gave in to the urge to laugh at one point.

Abby had been having small contractions for several days, and the doctors always sent her home. The contractions hadn't been steady, or intense, so she was doing what they'd told her to do and tried to relax. She wasn't aware that the pains had gone from Braxton Hicks to actual labor pains. They weren't yet intense. She was sure that she'd know when real labor started.

Ziva came back downstairs and announced that rooms were all ready. Abby rose ungracefully to her feet, Tim helping her. Gibbs looked at his baby girl, nervousness growing in his infamous, infallible gut. She was having that baby. He looked out the window at the storm and said a prayer.

The boys had had a pillow fight, but once Gibbs had threatened to put them in corners like the children they were behaving as, they stopped abusing their sleeping gear. He left, and the two men started telling jokes and giggling. Jethro shook his head. He didn't need a house full of girls…he had those two giggling boys.

Gibbs didn't understand their friendship, but it was clear that they had become close while he was on his not-retirement-retirement thing in Mexico. Gibbs was forever grateful, even though he may not voice it, that someone had kept Tony grounded and together while he had been gone.

He stepped into the room Kelly once slept in. Ziva now lay on her back, staring up at the ceiling. She looked over to him and yawned.

"What's up?"

"Just checking on everybody. Got what ya need?"

"Pretty much." She smirked. "I'm still thinking over the movie."

"What about it?" He'd not thought it would require that much thought.

"Oh, just likening Jack to Tony."

"Jack to Tony? How does that work?" Ziva started to laugh.

"Can you think of no other reason he still tries to glue Tim to his keyboard?" Gibbs smirked, and started to leave.

"Good night, Ziva." She laughed harder at his sarcastic tone.

He went next to his room where Tim and Abby were still settling in for the night. Tim hadn't closed the door yet, and Gibbs stood in the door, watching as Abby shifted, trying to find a comfortable position. She lay on her back, and then sat up, stuffing all of the pillows behind her so she could rest propped.

"You ok, Abs?" Gibbs asked quietly.

"Yeah, I'm ok. Just can't get comfortable."

"It's almost your due date." She sighed.

"I know, Gibbs. It's almost here. But I'm not in labor."

"You sure?"

"Yes, Gibbs." She looked as frustrated as she sounded. "No major pain, just indigestion. A small backache. I've had Braxton Hicks that were stronger. No labor going on here." He came over and kissed her forehead.

"Ok, Abs. If you need anything…"

"I know, you'll be working on your boat."

Gibbs clicked his tongue and left, patting Tim on the shoulder as he walked out. He hoped the younger man could get some sleep. He was exhausted between work and keeping his wife from moving or getting anything herself.

He was downstairs for nearly four hours when he heard Abby walking around upstairs. Gibbs walked upstairs, trying not to rush. He watched her for a moment, running her hands over her belly, then over her back. She supported the baby then with one hand as she kept pacing.

"What's going on, Abs?"

"I've got these bad Braxton Hicks going on." She stopped again, her face closed as she breathed through another cramp.

"How long have you been having those?"

"For the last couple of hours."

"Weren't they going on when you went to bed?"

"Ok, so they were going on before. Just more Braxton Hicks." She stopped and rubbed her back again. "They're getting worse."

"Yeah? How often are they coming?"

"Well, they're every fifteen minutes." He gave her a look.

"Ok, they're about every five."

"That's kind of closer together than fifteen."

"Yeah." She got a goofy look on her face. "Wait, I gotta pee." Gibbs watched as she waddled across the kitchen to the downstairs bathroom. He didn't want to panic her, but he needed Tim awake. He dialed McGee's number.

"Yes, Boss?"

"Your wife's down here, McGee. I suggest you get ready. I think we're making a trip to the hospital." As he said those words, his mind flashed to Kelly, and how he would be feeling if this were Kelly and her first baby. Leroy Jethro Gibbs, calm MCRT leader, sometimes Acting Director of NCIS, and terror to the FBI, was suddenly replaced with Jethro Bodine from the Beverly Hillbillies.

Gibbs raced outside to warm up his car when he heard Tim on the stairs. He scraped the windshield and started the engine, turning the heat and defrost to high. The streets were nearly blocked with snow, and the plows hadn't been by yet. He dug out behind his car, wondering how he was going to be able to get out once Abby was ready to go.

In the house, Abby came from the bathroom, tears running down her face. Tim was waiting for her in the kitchen, and she went to him, doing her best to snuggle down into his arms.

"What's wrong, Abby?"

"I think I'm in labor, Timmy." She sniffled. "I hurt really bad, and I think my water broke."

"When?" His eyes opened in shock.

"Just now." She whimpered as another contraction gripped her.

"Oh, heavens." With that, Tim was off, dialing 911 and shouting for Gibbs, leaving Abby standing by herself, terrified in the kitchen. Gibbs came in and gathered her close, only to have her shriek and pull away. He was freezing!

"Tim!" Gibbs, his face like thunder, started calling for the errant young man.

"Here!" Tim ran back in, coat in hand, Abby's overnight bag in hand. "Where were you?" Gibbs growled.

"Where were you? She was alone when I got back in here!"

"I was looking for you!"

"HEY!" Abby looked from one man to the other, wondering if this was how they behaved in tense situations, how they'd not yet been killed. She gestured to herself. "Pregnant lady, right here! Scared! You two can have some weird little 'I'm a dork' conversation later."

"Sorry Abs." The men spoke in near unison.

The ride to the hospital was relatively calm. Considering there were blizzard conditions, Gibbs was in full-panic mode and was asking every thirty seconds if she needed to push, and they were following a snow plow most of the way after Gibbs flagged the man down and explained the situation. Abby wondered if the threat of excessive force had any part in the man changing his route.

And right now, she didn't care. They pulled into the parking lot as she felt the first need to push. Until that moment, she'd not understood in Lamaze class what the instructor had meant by "you'll just know when it's time to push." She certainly knew now. It was as if someone else had taken control of her body, and she had to push, and push NOW!

Abby was in a birthing room, and Gibbs found himself banished to the waiting room. He paced, he grumbled. It had been twenty minutes. She was pushing. Was it supposed to take this long?

An hour later, he was ready to kill someone for answers. He'd seen only two nurses, both of whom had just offered him coffee and told him that things were going well, but babies took a while. A while. He hated not having a time limit.

Tony, Ziva, and Palmer arrived shortly after he'd accosted the second nurse. Tony bore coffee, Ziva had breakfast sandwiches for everyone, and Palmer had his phone pressed to his ear, calling Ducky. He'd already called Breena.

Another twenty minutes passed, and Tim came out, his face shining with happiness. Gibbs stood to the front of the pack, his mouth open, but no noise coming forth.

"It's a boy!" Tony whooped and danced around, while Ziva and Jimmy talked excitedly among themselves for a moment.

"Yeah, we knew that much. How long is he? What does he weigh? Is Abby alright?" Gibbs let his tension radiate off of him.

"She's fine! Tired, but really, really good. He's 21 inches long, and weighs 7 lbs 9 oz." Tim's eyes shone with pride. "I gotta get back in there." He turned and fairly raced back to his wife and son.

"Tim!" Gibbs stopped the young man. "What's his name?" Tim just grinned wider and turned around again. He shouted over his shoulder.

"We'll tell you when you see him!"

It was only minutes, but to Gibbs and his family, it seemed to be hours. Finally a nurse came to get "Grandpa". Gibbs felt a pride he'd not felt since Kelly's birth take root in his heart as he walked to the room where Abby was currently bonding with her new son.

He stood by her bed, looking down on them, feeling as if his heart would burst. His eyes filled as he heard the words he never thought he'd hear when told of his first family's deaths. He allowed his emotions to show, tears running softly down his cheeks.

"Would you like to hold your grandson?" He nodded, incapable of words at the moment. Tim smiled and snapped a picture while Abby looked on proudly.

Gibbs snuggled the baby close to his chest, counting his tiny fingers that stuck out of the blue blanket he was wrapped in.

"Hey, there." He smiled, running his finger lightly along the baby's cheek. "I'm Grandpa Gibbs." He cleared his throat. "I love you." He looked up to Abby. "What's his name?"

Abby smiled back, her face aglow with pleasure and happiness.

"We named him after our dad."

"Oh?" Gibbs wondered which of the men's names would come first.

"Yeah, it was easy. First name first. Middle name second."

"Funny, Abby." Gibbs talked goofily to his newborn grandson. "Your Mommy is goofy, you know that? She's making me figure out your name. Silly Mommy."

"Gibbs." She spoke softly, and he looked up to her.

"He's named for his Grandpa. Leroy Jethro McGee." Gibbs felt his chest swell. He looked at the baby in his arms and let love overwhelm him. A moment later, he looked up, humor in his eyes. "Did you really have to give him Leroy for a first name?"


	5. Meeting LJ

Disclaimer: Don't own NCIS.

Note… special thanks to my awesome beta, Headbanger Rockstar! You rock, dude! Ptbbbbbbbbb

Second Note… THIS IS AU! Don't like, don't read. No flames, please

Gibbs reluctantly gave LJ back to his Mama. The baby whined a bit before settling back into sleep. Gibbs bent down and kissed his little girl on her cheek.

"You did good, Sweetheart." He straightened and shook hands with McGee.

"So did you. Good lookin' kid." McGee laughed.

"He's not really even looking like a baby yet to me."

"Course not." Gibbs chuckled. "How would you look if you were in fluid for months? You'd be all pruned up and off color, too. Give him a little bit." A small head slap followed his words. "That's for calling my grandson ugly. Play nice." Abby giggled from her bed.

"I'm gonna send in Tony next. That ok? Or do you want some rest first?"

"I want rest, but I know I'm so excited to show him off." Her smile was sheer brilliance.

"Tony it is."

"Unless Sarah's out there." Tim spoke up quickly. Gibbs nodded.

"If Sarah's here, I'll send her back." With that , he went back to the waiting room. No Sarah in attendance.

"Come on, Tony. Your turn." The young man shook his head. "What do you mean, no?"

"Nu-uh, Boss. Kids hate me. I'll just make him cry." He fiddled with his fingers. "And, um, I don't know how to hold him, and I've got big hands. I'll break him." He looked around, missing his friend's obvious amusement. Indeed, Ducky was hiding his smile behind his hand, and rather unsuccessfully.

"Nonsense. Come on." Gibbs pulled Tony by his elbow. "I'll show you how." Just like with the Borg in the Star Trek movies, resistance was futile.

Tony walked in, Gibbs right on his heels. He smiled brightly at Abby, his game face on. He was terrified. The baby was smaller than he'd imagined. He'd never seen a newborn this close. He swallowed hard, and Gibbs told him to sit.

"Here, Tony, hold your arms like this." Gibbs showed Tony how to put his arms in front of him to make a sort of cradle. "Good. Now, when I put LJ into your arms, keep your arms just like that, ok?"

"Ok, Boss." Tony's voice shook. "LJ?" He looked at Tim as he asked that.

"Yeah. LJ." McGee smiled. "Leroy Jethro McGee."

"Boss! That's awesome!" Tony's grin became a real one.

Gibbs stood before the seated young man, baby held gently in his arms. "You ready?" Tony nodded. "Pay attention, kiddo."

Tony became focused on the small bundle Gibbs was lowering toward him. He looked closely at the baby. His arms were steady, but he was glad when Gibbs knelt in front of him and provided extra support. He was terrified of dropping this precious bundle.

"He's beautiful." Tony whispered. "He'll get rid of the wrinkles, won't he, Boss?"

"Yep, and the bluish color will go, too. He'll be pink and smooth by this time tomorrow."

"He's so tiny." Gibbs bit back a chuckle.

"Yep. Any bigger, and he'd have really been hard to deliver." Tony gulped. He'd not thought of that before. He looked up to Abby.

"You ok?" She was grinning at him.

"I'm great, Tony."

"Good." He sat in silence for a few more minutes before gaining the courage to move a hand so he could move the blanket and see the tiny hand his nephew had wiggled up to near his chin. Gibbs watched with amusement as Tony counted the tiny fingers. He'd done the same thing.

"He's not crying." Tony's voice held wonder. "I think he likes me."

"I'm sure he does, Tony. He's heard your voice nearly every day his mama carried him. You're familiar to him." Gibbs kept his voice quiet, as well.

Tony sat and held his nephew for several more minutes before Gibbs took the baby from him, reminding him that Ziva, Ducky, and Palmer still needed to come back, and Sarah too, if she was out there now.

Tony nodded and watched as his dad carried LJ back to Abby. He looked over at Tim. The two men smiled at one another, Tony's promise to be there for the child written on his face, no words needed.

Ziva came next. She was excited. Slightly nervous, yet so very excited. A few of her friends here in America had had babies, but she'd never seen them on the first day of their new lives, and certainly not in their first couple of hours.

She held LJ and rocked slowly back and forth, her eyes beaming with pleasure.

"He is beautiful, Abby." Tim was all but forgotten by the two women for a moment.

"Worth every cramp, I'll tell you that." Abby chuckled.

"It hurt a lot, yes?"

"Yes, and I promised Timmy that he could give birth to the next one." McGee scoffed.

"If there is a next one. You also threatened at one point to render me incapable." Ziva laughed with the young couple.

"You are very lucky, both of you. He is perfect."

"Thanks." McGee stepped closer and stroked his son's head. "We're so proud of him."

"And with good right." She stayed for a few more minutes, and then sent in Ducky. The older doctor, while not jogging per se, certainly hurried down the hall, his eyes bright with excitement.

He entered the room, watching Abby as she finished feeding the little fellow in her arms. He was, of course, having only swallows at a time, so the time between visitors was ample for a snack. She was covered by a thin receiving blanket, so he waited patiently, out in the hall, while she righted herself.

"It's safe, Ducky." The elderly man entered, chatting happily about the merits of breast milk over formula. The three had a short conversation revolving around Abby's diet during the next few months, and then he held out his arms expectantly.

"May I?"

"Of course! Uncle Ducky has to have a turn!" Abby held her son out, and Ducky, ever gentle, took the infant. He did the same as his family before… he counted fingers and toes, made noises and cooed.

"My, aren't you a fabulous little chap!" Ducky smiled widely as he spoke. "Ah, yes. The wide forehead of your father, and the cute nose of your mother." He went on after stroking the baby's cheek with his finger. "It looks like you have inherited your father's eyes, yes it does indeed."

"I hope so, Ducky." McGee chuckled. "So far, every time I look at him, all I see is Abby. I donate some genetic material…most of which seems to have been set aside." Ducky chuckled in reply.

"I believe that as he grows, you may see more of yourself in him."

"He'll look like you, Timmy." Abby grinned at her husband. "I've seen your baby pictures, remember?"

"How could I forget?"

"Sounds like there's a story there."

"Yes. A fun one, compete with my Timmy in a kitchen sink completely naked." Ducky shook his head as he handed the now-grumpy baby back to his mother.

"Ah, yes. The rights of passage. Well, try to keep the embarrassing photo's to a minimum for this one." He kissed Abby's cheek and shook Tim's hand as he left, promising to send Palmer back.

When Ducky left, Tim tried his sister once again. Still no answer. He left another message, hoping that she'd call soon, or better yet, show up.

Palmer came in, announcing that he'd not be staying long. He'd watched plenty of his cousins get overtired after giving birth and having too many visitors, and he wanted the new family to have plenty of rest. He ooh'd and aah'd over LJ with abandon, complimenting his proud parents on his good looks.

The young man held LJ with practiced ease, a far cry from DiNozzo, who still made the parent's chuckle when they thought of him. Jimmy baby-talked to LJ, drawing what seemed to be a smile from the infant, but he assured an amazed Tim that it was just gas. Abby laughed. Palmer was so silly.

Long after Jimmy left, Gibbs came in and told Tim he was going to lunch in the cafeteria, and that the younger agent was going with him.

"No, Gibbs," Abby was sound asleep, as was LJ. The baby lay in his bassinette, and Abby lay on her side, a hand protectively over his tiny foot.

"Yes, McGee. You need food and drink." Gibbs pulled the younger man toward the door. "No arguing! Now come on." McGee sighed and went along. Tony waited for them in the hall, the call button for the elevator already pushed.

They stepped out in to the elevator, the doors closing for them just as the second elevator's doors opened to one irritated Sarah McGee.

"Of all the days for my phone to be turned off and not realize the freakin' battery is dead." She muttered as she walked to the room specified in numerous of her brother's messages.

She stood just inside the room, not sure of what to do. Finally, she decided to just sit and wait. Sarah wondered briefly why her brother's team wasn't there, but oh, well. They probably got tired of waiting. She was sure her brother would want her to see his baby first. She didn't realize her internal wonderings were escaping her lips. Abby just stayed quiet and listened. Interesting.

"_Well, I'm sure Tim'll be back. Soon. He's not irresponsible like this, leaving his family alone. Wonder where he went. Hope it's not to work. Heaven knows his boss and that mess of a second, what's his name, Tony, don't do anything but work."_ She sighed.

"_I'm being totally unfair to them. I know it. But I'm angry, and they're convenient scratching posts. Tony, with all of his insulting nicknames for Tim. Really. How old is that man? _

"_And what's with the name? Couldn't they have named him after our dad, or Abby's? Who on earth would name their child Leroy Jethro?" Abby had enough._

"_I'm awake, you know." Sarah blanched. "You may not be mad at them right now, but it sounds like you've got a lot to say about my dad and brother." _

"_I'm sorry, Abby. I didn't realize…." Abby sighed._

"_I know." She looked over at Sarah, turning over to lay on her back. "But we should talk about all of that. Before it spills out sometime when you DO mean it, and it becomes a problem. Those guys are my family. And Tim is my husband, which makes them your family." _

"_I'm so sorry, Abby, really." Sarah's words tumbled out one on top of the other. "I had a really bad day, and then I lost my phone, or thought I did, but it was in my backpack, only it was turned off, and when I went to turn it on, the battery was dead. Tim tried to call several times, and he left me message after message, all of them updating me on you and your baby." Tears now ran down her face._

"_I get that, Sarah. But why say those things about Gibbs and Tony?"_

"_I was mad at Tim for not being in here with you and the baby. I'm upset that he didn't name the baby after dad. Dad called me and left me a message about it. He's mad, and yelled at me about, because he doesn't dare tell Tim what he thinks."_

"_What does he think?"_

"_That no matter what, if Tim was going to name his son after a father figure, it should have been him and not some washed out Marine that has nothing better to do than build boats in his basement at night."_

"_Sarah," Abby's voice was gentle. "What do YOU think?"_

"_I don't know." Sarah wiped tears off of her cheeks. "I've never understood what Tim and Dad's fight was about. Tim won't tell me, says it will make me think differently about Dad, and that his problems with Dad shouldn't be mine. That I still have my dad, and should just stay out of it."_

"_So, you know that Tim is protecting you and your dad?"_

"_Yeah, but Dad says it's all Tim's fault, and Tim won't tell me what it was about." She stood and paced. "And when he wasn't here, the thing that ran through my mind was that he is just as irresponsible as Dad says he is, which makes no sense, because if he was, he would have never helped me through school."_

"_But?"_

"_But, if he has become that irresponsible, it's because of being around irresponsible people."_

_Abby thought for a moment. Then she looked at Sarah. The younger woman looked away, ashamed of herself and her attitude toward her brother._

"_If you knew what they fought about, would it really change anything?"_

"_Probably not. I'd probably either be mad at Tim or Dad."_

"_Exactly. So just assume that your brother has your best interests at heart when he won't tell you, alright?" Sarah nodded. "Now, I have to tell you that I'm kinda mad that you would make those sorts of comments about my family."_

_Sarah nodded, ready to leave. She'd call Tim and ask if she could come back._

"_I know Tony can be a bit much at times, but Sarah, does Timmy stutter anymore?" Sarah thought for a moment, then shook her head, understanding suddenly coming to her._

"_He picks on Tim to make him stand up for himself. Not to hurt him." Abby nodded, a wise look in her eyes. "And Gibbs is hard to make him into a better agent." Again Abby nodded. "And all of his rules are actually for everything, not just for working for him."_

"_Gibbs has his rules for a reason." Abby spoke softer than she felt like speaking. She was understanding the girl before her better, but she wanted to smack her anyway. "Tim has a better chance at survival with the rules." _

_The two women stared at one another for a moment. _

"_You want to see your nephew?" Sarah nodded, the tenseness of the moment fading._

"_Sure do." She walked to the bassinette and looked down. "He looks so much like Tim." Abby giggled. _

"_Everybody else thought he looked like me." _

"_Everybody else?" Sarah looked angry._

"_Yeah, Grandpa Gibbs, Uncle Tony, Auntie Ziva, Uncle Ducky, and Uncle Palmer." Abby's eyes flashed, and she dared Sarah to argue. _

"_I just thought family would get to see him first."_

"_They're MY family, Sarah, and unless you get that through your head, we're gonna have problems." Sensing the tension in the room, LJ woke up and began fussing._

"_Hey, hey." Abby picked him up. "Mommy's here. Yes she is." She cooed down at her little boy. "Everything's ok, Sweetie. Just a misunderstanding with Aunt Sarah." She put the baby to her, the receiving blanket covering her once again. He latched on hungrily._

"_I'm sorry, Abby. I guess I'm not used to sharing Tim. I'm not used to having in-laws, either."_

"_I know, Sarah." Abby smiled at the woman. "But the sooner we both learn to make adjustments, the easier life will be for all of us."_

"_What can I do to make up for this?"_

"_How about you tell me humiliating stories of Timmy when he was little?" Sarah snickered._

"_He's older than me."_

"_So? You've got parent's, and I'm sure he had a first girlfriend." Abby grinned. "Come on. Work with me here. You know, Universal Sisterhood of Women and all of that."_

"_He's my brother."_

"_And he's my husband. So spill." _

_When the guys returned twenty minutes later from lunch, the girls were chatting and comfortable. Sarah greeted her brother, and then asked to speak to Gibbs and Tony in the hall. When Tim asked what that was all about, Abby just smiled and said, "Don't worry about it, Honey. Just a family thing." _


	6. Grandpa Gibbs and LJ hangin' out

Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS. Not even in my wildest dreams.

Thanks to Headbanger Rockstar for being my BETA! Ptbbbbbbbbbbb! (wipes chin)

Note: Please, if you don't like this story, or any others you read, please don't flame! And this is sad that we should have to say things like this… A story that I really enjoy was completely flamed by a party. Now, Flames are not only mean, but they are rude. We all do our best on stories, we're all writing in a category created by others, we all put on disclaimers, and recognize that we are not the creators or owners of this wonderful show. We sometimes create alternate universes, alternate endings, and we share them eagerly with one another. Our skill levels are not the same. Our ideas differ. But they're all good! Please remember that if you can't think of something nice to say, don't say it! If you have corrections to add, do it in a PM, don't flame a person or their story in a public review. Don't take sentences or phrases out of context and use that as an excuse for poor behavior. Please just remember that it's better to not say anything than to be rude. What if it was the story you had worked hard on? Just think on that. Thank you.

Gibbs paced slowly back and forth across the floor of his dining room and into his living room. Then he retraced his steps. His footfalls were steady and measured, his torso rocking side to side evenly. He smirked when he finally heard and felt the deep sigh that meant the wailing baby had fallen asleep.

Abby and Tim had been out on a "date" now for nearly an hour, and the baby had cried the whole time. Jethro wasn't surprised. The infant had rarely been put down by either of his parents since his birth, which was one reason he'd insisted his "kids" have a date today.

They needed Mommy and Daddy time. Rather, Tim needed Mommy time, actually. He was doing well with being a dad, but was having trouble not being the object of his wife's affection anymore. In Tim's words, "It's like I don't exist, Gibbs. I've been replaced by a throw pillow and a bottle."

Add to that his added stress with his father calling and deriding him for naming LJ after Gibbs. The other man was still calling Sarah and trying to get to Tim through his little sister. She was calling nearly every day in tears over some new barb from their father.

Tim needed face time. Abby had missed the post-partum depression, but just like Tim had suffered the worst with morning sickness, the young man had the worst of the after-birth depression.

_He had just laid the newest evidence on her table when he'd seen Abby run for the bathroom several months ago. She'd gone on another tear of no Caff-Pow!, and he'd been wondering why until that moment. He'd grinned to himself, wondering when she and her Timmy would find their way to his basement. That weekend, he'd bought wood for a crib. _

He kept pacing and let his memory wander_._

_Four weeks later found Abby and Timmy standing nervously in his living room, she tugging on one of her own pigtails, and Tim picking at his fingernails. Gibbs stood with crossed arms, looking at them with only slightly veiled humor. He was enjoying this._

"_Gibbs," Abby started, then stopped. _

"_Yeah?" He raised his eyebrows, nearly losing to his urge to smile. He loved this. His kids were nervous. Like them dating was something he didn't know. _

"_Well, we, um…" Timmy started, and he stopped as well. Gibbs felt like laughing. He couldn't resist after another moment._

"_You gonna tell me some time today that you're pregnant, Abby?" The younger people's eyes widened and she looked at him as Tim looked at Abby in shock. His girlfriend had a pleased smirk on her face._

"_See, Timmy, I told you he knew." She stepped forward into Gibbs embrace, laughing as he lightly tapped her butt._

"_That's for letting yourself get knocked up." She could hear the smile in his voice._

"_You're not gonna hold that against this little Scuito, are you?" Her tone was equally playful. _

"_Nope, but I am gonna do this." He reached out and delivered a DiNozzo-worthy head slap to his youngest agent, grinning the entire time. "Now, Abs." He straightened up and looked at his "daughter" seriously. "I want to talk to McGee. Give us a minute."_

"_Be nice, Papa Bear."_

"_I'm Gibbs." He shrugged. When am I ever nice?" Tim swallowed hard as Abby left the room._

"_Boss? Gibbs?" Tim nervously began. "I know we should…"_

"_Should haves are a little late, McGee. What are you planning on doing?" His arms were recrossed over his chest, most definitely in a defensive posture._

"_I'm planning to ask her to marry me." McGee nodded as he spoke. "I've got money set aside from my last book that I want to go towards a house." The younger man smiled shyly. "I've gotten her to go with me a few times house hunting. Think we've found the right one."_

"_Good. How soon you gonna propose?"_

"_Um, that's the thing, Boss." McGee swallowed hard. "I can't find the right ring." He blushed. "Every ring I see is either too big, or too small, or if it's pretty, it's not something that she'd like, or it's so Gothic that I'm not comfortable with it. There's one that is really nice, but it's not…good enough, you know?" He swallowed hard, and Gibbs felt pride coursing through him._

"_So what do you need?"_

"_Can you go with me? Help me choose between the three?" Gibbs grinned and nodded. They'd go that evening when Abby was speaking to a class about forensics. _

The baby in his arms sneezed, hiccupped, and resettled into his slumber. Gibbs kissed his tiny head, amazed at where his life had brought him. He smiled as his memories picked back up.

_He and Tim had indeed found Abby's ring that evening, and Tim had made reservations a week from then at Abby's favorite restaurant. Gibbs had driven him to a florist and they looked over floral arrangements, Tim staring at him once when he got into a discussion with the florist over the type of baby's breath that would be in the bouquet._

"_Married four times, Tim. Know a bit about flowers by now." Gibbs had simply shrugged and continued his conversation. Tim chuckled to himself, even more pleased to have the older man's help. He had been invaluable in choosing the right ring._

_The first had been a typical engagement ring. Gold with an Israeli cut ½ caret diamond. Beautiful, but totally un-Abby._

"_Not much like her style, McGee."_

"_Yeah, I know. But it's beautiful, and the diamond is flawless."_

"_Doesn't matter." Gibbs shrugged. "Will she like it?" They left the store immediately. _

_The second was closer to what she would like, but was still not something that would fit her personal style. It was an engraved platinum band with a round garnet set into a birds-nest like setting._

"_Closer, McGee. But it's a birds nest."_

"_No, it's a.."_

"_It's a birds nest." Gibbs glared at his young agent. "Trust me. It's a birds nest. And unless it comes complete with a pteradon or phoenix, she's not gonna like it."_

"_Well, I guess we go to the third." _

"_Ya think?" It was the third that was exactly what Abby would have chosen for herself._

_It was a silver band, shaped in to a dragon which was carved with intricate runes from tail to nose. It was adorned with a crown which held a single sapphire surrounded by shards of topaz. And it screamed "Abby." Gibbs had nodded to McGee, who pulled out a ring that Abby had "lost" weeks ago for sizing purposes. The men had grinned as Tim paid the thousands of dollars that the ring had cost. Gibbs was glad that the young man didn't care about the cost. It told him a lot regarding how his "daughter" would be taken care of. _

_The proposal had gone off without a hitch, or so Gibbs assumed. It was nearing midnight, and he'd not heard differently. He was sanding a rung for the crib when he heard his front door open and close quickly. Fast footsteps flew down his basement stairs, and before he could hide what he was making, he was engulfed in a huge hug._

"_Thank you!" Abby kissed his cheek, her eyes burning with excitement. Tim had followed at a slower, more reasonable pace, and now stood at the bottom of the stairs. "The ring is perfect, and so are the flowers!" She bounced up and down on the balls of her feet._

"_You're welcome. You know, I just helped with the final selection." He grinned over at Tim. "He had three that he'd narrowed it down to, just needed a little help." He held his hand out to the younger agent._

"_I'm assuming this means she said yes?" Gibbs smiled._

"_Yes, it does, Boss." Tim practically glowed. There was a beat, and Gibbs made a decision._

"_Making something for you." Abby squealed and Tim looked over at his boss, a question in his eyes._

"_Ooh, what? Something made by the boss-man is intense. "_

_Gibbs smiled and handed her a rung. She looked at it, not sure of what she held at first. So he handed her another. And put her hands up at the regulation two inches apart. Realization washed over her face, and tears sprang into her eyes. Tim was still looking confused, and his fiancé's reaction had him lost even more._

"_Gibbs." Abby breathed his name out, meeting his eyes in gratitude and wonder._

"_Baby needs a good crib, Abs. I went looking, and didn't see one worthy of this little one." He took the sticks from her hands and pulled her to him, wrapping her once again in an embrace. He allowed the tears to spring into his eyes. He drew back a little and looked into her eyes._

"_You guys have become my family, Abs." He shrugged. "I lost Kelly, but when I look at you, I see my daughter. Not Kelly, but another that was gifted to me by fate." He cleared his throat, wondering if he'd perhaps said too much. Abby fell into him again, but McGee spoke, his words perfection._

"_And you're going to be a great grandpa, Boss." Gibbs had felt pride bursting his chest wide open, letting in the love that he'd been trying to keep out for years._

_The wedding was coming quickly, and Gibbs was learning just how glad he was to only have to do this once. He'd accepted taking on the role that Abby's parent's would have filled. He planned the reception, went with her to find the right bakery, sat through hours of helping to choose which cake to go with, looked at color swatches and went to dress shop after dress shop. He was ready to hang himself._

_The baby sighed and rubbed his nose on Gibbs shoulder. He knew he could put his grandson down if he wanted. But he was too comfortable holding him and walking. He went to the kitchen and poured himself a fresh cup of coffee. He drank standing at the counter, in case the baby woke, he didn't want to have his hands full of coffee cup. _

_The youngest McGee woke twenty minutes later, stretching and wriggling as he yawned. He let loose with a soft sob, to which Gibbs patted his back and started to warm a bottle. No, the baby wasn't spoiled at all. Gibbs smirked at what Abby called him. "Put-me-down-challenged."_

_He carried the baby upstairs and laid him down on the changing table that matched the second crib Gibbs had built that year. This one was a deep mahogany with boats carved in to the ends. He made a face down at the baby, making the infant smile._

"_So, is that gas, or are you actually smiling at me?" The baby kicked his feet in response, his fists flying to show his happiness. "I'll bet it's just gas." His grandson's bottom vibrated comically in response. "Yeah, thought so."_

_He changed the baby's diaper and dressed him in a new outfit that wasn't covered in spit-up and slobber. _

"_You know, I'm enjoying this grandpa thing." He smirked when the baby grinned again. He walked back downstairs and tested the milk temperature before sitting down and feeding his grandson. He only had two ounces in when the door opened and Tim walked through, Abby close on his heels. _

"_Hey guys." Abby grinned at the two guys that she'd left for the afternoon. They looked so natural sitting there together snuggled into the rocker that now adorned the corner of Gibbs' living room._

"_Hey." Gibbs smiled softly as little L.J. cooed at his mother. "Back so soon?"_

"_Yeah, we missed him." Tim came and picked up his son. "And were you good for Grandpa?" _

"_Of course he was, McGee." Gibbs winked at Abby. "We sanded for hours, shared a fifth of bourbon, talked about our ex-wives. You know, a perfect afternoon of male bonding." _

_Abby threw back her head and laughed. They stayed and visited until dinner time, when all voted for Chinese. The take-out arrived only minutes before Tony and Ziva. Ziva sat and fussed over L.J. as Tony filled a plate for his second dinner of the evening. _

_Gibbs felt a pang of sadness as he watched Ziva with the baby. He knew that she was unable to have children after the debacle in Somalia. He watched with interest as Tony shot her a wink, the two communicating in that strange form of telepathy that seemed to define them. They'd tried dating for a while, but had decided they were better friends than lovers. _

_And that suited Gibbs fine. Tony was still a player, and most likely would always be. He'd been hurt enough in his childhood that settling down was a foreign concept for him. But Ziva craved the consistency of a good, solid relationship. Something that DiNozzo would never be able to provide, no matter how good his intentions, or how hard he tried. His father had given him a horrible example, so had Gibbs, if he allowed himself to think about it. Ziva deserved more. _


	7. Back to Work

Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS. I can dream, though.

Note: Thanks Headbanger Rockstar! You're an awesome beta! Ptbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb!

**Second Note**… Just because I can. HA! This is still AU. That will never change! Remember to always smile. It makes everyone else wonder what you're up to!

Gibbs was sleeping soundly, his jacket doubling as his pillow. He woke to the sound of his phone ringing, and wondered which of his children needed him. He only got calls this early in the morning from his team. And with DiNozzo being on vacation in Hawaii, Ziva having the stomach flu and resting at home, and Tim away at one of his techno-geek conferences, this could spell disaster. He grumbled as his hand searched frantically for his phone in the darkness.

Abby was home alone with the baby, and while he'd gone over last night for dinner, which he provided out of her favorite carryout boxes, she'd been doing great. His heart jumped when the realized it could be her calling about the baby. He found his phone and flipped it open.

"Gibbs." He answered more gruffly than he'd intended out of fear.

"It's Abby." He sat up, nearly hitting his head on his boat.

"What's wrong?" Her voice sounded tense.

"Nothing's wrong, like _wrong_ wrong, but I've been called in to work."

"It's four in the morning at the end of your maternity leave, and McGee's out of town. What are they thinking?" He was irritated. Couldn't it wait?

"I guess they're not thinking, Gibbs." She paused for a moment. "Which brings me to why I'm calling you." He heard a soft thump, followed by a "stupid door."

"Yeah?" He was already upstairs, the coffee pot was turned on, and he was digging in his fridge for something to eat.

"Yeah. Um, I'd not ask, I mean, I know you…"

"Abs, I'm on my way, ok? I'll take the morning and hang out with LJ, ok?" With her going in so early, he'd insist that she left after eight hours, which would make it only noon.

"That's cool!" Her smile came through her voice. "He's actually enrolled in the daycare at NCIS, however, he can't go until 9, that's when the boss lady down there gets in."

"So keep him until 9 and bring him in to work?"

"Yes. That way I also get to see two of the most handsome men on the earth." Gibbs chuckled as he took his first sip of the scalding brew he thrived on.

"Be there in 10, Abs." He hung up and dashed up the stairs for an extra change of clothes. It would not be good for his reputation as a hard ass to show up to work with spit-up down his back. And if he knew one thing, it was that LJ would spit on him. It was a baby law somewhere. Sort of like Kelly christening his dress blues right before inspection.

He used his key and entered the McGee's new house. It was a good looking brownstone with forest green shutters and shingles. They'd moved into it only a month after their marriage, and the guys had Ziva and Brina take Abby shopping for the day, as their spitfire was completely convinced that she needed to help them move all of the heaviest stuff. And the five men in her life didn't want her to lift a thing.

_Tim had expressed his concerns and frustrations, Ducky gave a lecture, Tony teased, Jimmy stammered that he thought it best if she relaxed, after all there were 5 men and she was expecting…that comment had earned him a glare. Gibbs had simply handed Ziva his credit card and gave her a limit. The ex Mossad agent smirked and pocketed it. She drug a grumping Abby out of their old apartment along with Jimmy's wife Brina, who was trying to console her friend. _

_When they returned hours later to the new house, she'd been in a much happier mood. Of course, that had nothing to do with the fact that Brina had googled a specialty baby store…a gothic baby store. They'd returned with fixtures for the nursery that made Gibbs shake his head and smile, earning a punch to his arm from his "daughter". _

"_Come on, Gibbs! Holy Baby-furniture! It's a bat mobile! How cute is that?"_

That bat mobile was now hanging over LJ's crib. It hadn't come with music, so Gibbs had put a small speaker set in the ends of the crib, and built a shelf on the outside to hold a CD player. The young parents had gone around and around on what to play for their son, but Tim "won". Gibbs smirked. He knew Abby had been playing Chopin, Bach, Beethoven, Mozart, and Vivaldi since she found out she was pregnant. Tim only thought he'd won. It made him wonder how many times Shannon had duped him.

_Gibbs had entered her lab, Sprite in hand. The days of Caff-Pow were over. He shook the super-sized cup filled with ice and she looked coyly over her shoulder at him._

"_What'cha got, Abs?"_

"_I've got a bun in the oven, Vivaldi on the player, and a nervous boyfriend upstairs. You?"_

"_I've got a dead marine on Ducky's table. You got anything on him?"_

"_Plenty!" She stood up from her stool, taking headphones away from her belly._

"_Should I ask?" He pointed to the headphones._

"_Oh, it's been proven that babies hear in the womb. Also, that music is mathematics. So, by playing music, and I don't mean my personal favorites, along with eating right and making sure that I'm getting plenty of folic acid, we can be reasonably sure of another genius in the family." Gibbs just shook his head. Young people and their weird ways._

_Gibbs walked up to his grandson's crib and looked down at him. The baby was sleeping soundly. He had his thumb in his mouth, slurping away. _

_Abby came and stood by him, signing her last instructions when she was getting ready to go. He signed back that he was perfectly capable of giving the baby his bottle and making sure the diaper bag was packed with enough stuff and that he could get the baby fed, changed, and to the lab on time. Abby smiled up at him, waved goodbye, and headed out the door quietly after blowing LJ a kiss._

_Once the door was closed, a switch was flipped, and LJ woke up. Gibbs grinned and picked up his grandson, putting the baby to his shoulder. _

"_Well, Leroy Jethro McGee," He still couldn't believe that Abby had insisted on naming their baby after him. Poor kid was stuck with his name. "Let's get you changed."_

_Ten minutes later, the guys were in the kitchen warming up a bottle. LJ looked around him, eyes wide. Everything was still exciting and new to his tiny eyes. Gibbs held him in the crook of his arm, allowing the baby to see while he was doing other things. _

_Gibbs checked the temp of the bottle, and settled at the table with a cup of coffee. Both enjoyed their beverages, Grandpa stopping from time to time to burp the two month old baby that was busy sucking down his breakfast while trying valiantly to stay awake. Four and a half ounces later, he slept through his final burp, and Gibbs laid him back down for a few minutes._

_Gibbs changed clothes while the baby slept, thankful that he'd thought about bringing another outfit. LJ had gotten him twice. He packed the diaper bag, rechecking what Abby had in it. He added more diapers. Thought about it and added more. He put in two more bottles, added the can of formula just in case the milk she had labeled for the day wasn't enough. Got out the small soft sided over the shoulder cooler Tim had bought for this one purpose, and loaded it with frozen bagged breast milk. Put in an extra pacifier and two new onsies along with outfits. This kid liked to puke._

_He took the bag and cooler to the door, set them on the hall table, and went to get his tiny namesake. LJ was none too happy to be gotten up. Gibbs rocked him slowly, shushing him back to sleep. Gibbs put the baby into his car seat. He carried him out and snapped the seat into the base he now kept in his car. He grinned to himself. He'd never expected to have the days of car seats and bottles and pacifiers return. He'd especially never expected to have a little one that would grow up to call him Grandpa. Poor kid._

_He got to the office with an hour to spare. He wanted to look at a lead he'd thought about during his third cup of coffee that morning. He sat with LJ resting on his chest sound asleep as he looked over files, his glasses sitting on the end of his nose._

_Ziva walked in twenty minutes after his arrival. She took in his attire, a gray suit, brilliant blue shirt, gray tie tucked into his shirt pocket, and a burp rag. Gibbs looked up at her._

"_Feel better?"_

"_Yes, thank you." He nodded in response. "And how are you?"_

"_I'm doin' good." He motioned to the baby on his shoulder. "And he's doin' good, too. Sleeping like a champ." Just then LJ scrunched up his back and grunted. Gibbs patted his back, and the baby belched loudly, his eyes shooting open. "Well, he was."_

_Ziva smirked and sat down. "Why is he here today? Is Abby back from maternity leave already?"_

"_Yeah, big case for another team. And since we're running cold cases, I've got him for a few more minutes." He looked at his watch. "Ten, to be exact." His phone rang._

"_Gibbs." He was silent for a moment. "Yeah, Abs. We're upstairs. We'll be there in a minute." He smirked at whatever she said in response. "Yeah, come on up. Here at my desk."_

_Ziva sighed, trying hard to look like she wasn't interested in what was going on over at her boss' desk. Like she wasn't wishing she could hold her nephew. But she wasn't sure yet if she'd pass on her cold, and she didn't want to take that chance. Gibbs noticed her look, and decided to ask her about it later. _

_Abby burst from the elevator into the bull-pen. She stopped and snapped a picture of Grandpa sitting there with her son. He looked up and smirked. _

"_Posterity, Abs?"_

"_Absolutely, my Silver Haired Fox." She came over and kissed him on the cheek. "Thank you so much for taking care of him this morning."_

"_Sure thing. We had fun." He pulled LJ away from his shoulder and looked into the little boy's eyes. "Didn't we?" LJ smiled, his hands waving _

"_Looks like you sure did." Abby grinned. "And whoa. Serious tonnage added to the diaper bag."_

"_Yeah, we added some stuff this morning. A few outfits, another couple of bottles, just stuff like that."_

"_Thanks, Grandpa." _

"_Any time, Abs." Abby took LJ from him and hugged her son._

"_Hey, Ziva! Feeling better?"_

"_Yes, thank you. I am still worried about being able to pass this to LJ, so I will stay over here."_

"_Sure thing, Ziva." Abby settled LJ into his car seat, grabbed the diaper bag and cooler, and fairly bounced back to the elevators. She and LJ disappeared behind the sliding metal doors._

_Gibbs and Ziva sat in silence, each reading over files when Gibbs cleared his throat. Ziva looked up._

"_Coffee, Ziva?" She nodded, expecting him to bring her the usual cup of tea he provided her with upon his return. She returned to her file when he cleared his throat again. "You coming?"_

"_Oh, I thought…" He shot her a look. "Coming, Gibbs." She stood and grabbed her jacket, following him to the elevators._

_They made their way down the D.C. streets in silence. Neither felt the need to speak. Once they had their drinks, they sat at a corner table and Gibbs opened the conversation._

"_Saw you watching Abby with LJ." He looked over to his companion. She blushed slightly and lowered her eyes. "Tell me what's on your mind."_

"_Frank and I broke up over the weekend." He waited for her to continue. "He asked me if I wanted children, and I told him yes, that I did." _

"_And?" Gibbs knew what was coming, but he had to ask anyway. She needed to talk about it._

"_I told him of my…injuries from Somalia." She swallowed and studied her tea cup. "I said that while I wanted children, I would need to adopt."_

"_What did he say?" Her surrogate father's voice was quiet, and she knew she could tell him everything._

"_He said that he didn't want adopted children. That he wanted to be with a woman who could have his children. That his brother had adopted, and his children were bitter disappointments. Apparently he considers them unintelligent and beneath his "real" nieces and nephews."_

"_And what did you say?" Ziva met his eyes again._

"_That he was being a bigot. That a child is a child. That a child born to one family is no better than a child born to another." She shrugged. "I have repeated that same group of words again and again. They are as true today as they were when Tony and I discussed children. He agrees with the idea of adoption. He has no problem with it. Children need loving homes, no matter who they are born to."_

_Gibbs nodded. "And?"_

"_And still I find that most men want only their own children. They do not want another persons child to be their "firstborn". And I am unable to give a man his firstborn child." Her eyes fell to her cup again. "I believe this renders me single and childless, Gibbs." _

"_Hey." He tapped her hand, and she looked up at him, her eyes bright with unshed tears. "Just because you're finding jerks doesn't mean that you won't one day meet a good man who won't care who his first child comes from." He took in a deep breath. "Yeah, it's a pride thing. But a man shouldn't care. You'll find a man one day who won't. Children are children. And you know that." She nodded._

"_I know that." She wiped a tear away. "My greatest desire is to have a family. I once killed for a living, but I always dreamed of having a life away from all of that. Away from the danger. Away from the killing. From the death." She drew in a shaky breath. "And then I came here, and was placed on your team. I saw what life could be, Gibbs." She drew in a breath, and he waited for her to continue._

"_I saw what I could have in my life. I saw how I could have a family." She stopped speaking._

"_And then Somalia?" She nodded to his question._

"_And then Somalia." They sat in silence for several minutes. "Gibbs?"_

"_Yeah?"_

"_Do you really think that one day I can have the life I have dreamed of? Or do you tell me that just to make me feel better, waiting for a day when I can accept the ugly truth?"_

"_I really believe it, Ziver. I really believe it." He stood from his seat and pulled her out of her chair, tugging her to his chest and folding her in his arms. _


	8. Tim Comes Home

Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS

Note: Special thanks, as always, to Headbanger Rockstar for being my beta! Ptbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb!

Note: This chapter contains Mommy/Baby bonding moments. Just be aware. Once again, please, no flames. If you don't like, don't read.

Tony stretched, cracking his back. Today was the last day of his trip, and he was looking forward to going home. He smiled. Home.

"Feels good to have one", he thought to himself. Twenty minutes later, he was dressed and headed down to the shore for one last swim in the ocean. He carried his towel easily over his shoulder, his sandals smacking softly at the soles of his feet.

When he was nearly at the shore, he looked up to see a small boy playing with a boat and his mind flashed to his newborn nephew LJ. He grinned and retreated from the hot sand back to his hotel room. He'd not gotten his nephew enough toys. He could cram another two or three things into his carry-on. He was sure of it.

Changing his swimwear for sorts and a tee-shirt, he headed to the tourist trap market. He grinned as he looked at the merchandise. Now. What to get the baby that was one of a kind. Some trinket or toy that could only be found here on this island. He looked for hours before his face lit up. He'd found it!

Tony paid the woman who was running the kiosk, and carried his loot, his purchases that were guaranteed to require another suitcase to hold them all, back to his room. McGee and Abby would kill him, but he was having the time of his life. Now, to find another suitcase.

An ocean and half a continent away, Tim McGee stood frustrated. He'd flown in early, and now had to wait, only four hours from home. Yes, he'd had to go to this stupid convention. He was required to. He'd tried to get out of it, Gibbs had tried to get him out of it. Nothing had worked. SecNav needed his best cyber-crimes investigator at that thing. So he'd had to go.

Now here he was, phone pressed to his ear as he told Abby that he'd missed his connection, and would have to wait for the next flight. He could hear LJ crying in the background, and hated himself at the moment. He should have done something else to not go. What, he had no idea. But he should have found some way out.

"It's ok, Timmy, really." Abby was being as calm as she could be. Today was her first day back, and she was exhausted. She wanted a nap in the worst way. But making Tim feel guilty wasn't going to accomplish anything. LJ quieted a moment, and Abby knew he was just building up to a "Vesuvius" moment. "He's hungry, that's all. I'll call you back after he's eaten, ok?"

"Ok." His voice carried defeat. "I love you, and I'm sorry I'm not there."

"I love you, too, Timmy, and don't worry. You'll be here soon." Abby hung up and picked up her infant son. "And you, Little Mister McGee!" The baby silenced and looked up, his face pure innocence, his screams stopped. "What is this, huh? As soon as Daddy calls you have to go a wacky?"

LJ grinned a toothless smile and burped. Yep. Life was good. He had Mommy.

Abby put him to her breast, and he suckled hungrily. He pinched and stroked her as he ate, stopping from time to stare, as if fascinated by her skin. He'd smile, milk leaking from the corner of his tiny mouth, before suckling quickly for several moments. Abby chuckled at him. He was so cute. So easily distracted.

She switched sides, burping him in between. He drank a little more, his eyes beginning to close. Abby sang a quiet lullaby, and when he stopped eating all together, she brought him gently to her shoulder, rubbing his back until she heard the tiny burp she was hoping for. She knew he housed another, but he could sleep for a bit before he got bothered by it. Just enough time to change her clothes.

Abby finished changing just as LJ woke, the gas bubble making him uncomfortable. He whined, flailing his little hands. He continued, growing louder and louder as Abby hurried to him.

"Hey, Little Man." She picked him up and patted his back firmly, glad when she heard the telltale belch. She giggled. This kiddo could rival Burt, except his noises came from the other end. LJ sighed in contentment and fell back to sleep. Abby was glad he was an easy baby.

She set him in his carrier, as he seemed to sleep better sitting up so soon after eating. She made her dinner, a microwaveable meal that Ducky would have cringed over. But it was oh, so tasty.

She finished her meal of Salisbury steak, mashed potatoes that were closer to plastic, and corn that was ten days past fresh. But the steak and gravy was perfection. And the gravy made the rest edible.

Abby brewed herself a cup of tea and sat down on the couch with a puzzle book. Hmmm. Where to start. She grinned and started at the back. An anacrostic was the perfect place to start.

On a small island, Tony heaved a sigh and picked up his bags, heading for the airport. He would miss it here. It was nice. It was quiet. He missed home, though. He grinned as he checked in his bags, including the small suitcase he had bought specifically for LJ. It was a child's case made to look like an old travel trunk, complete with what looked like old port stickers.

Tim breathed a sigh of relief as he disembarked from his flight. Gibbs waited for him at the baggage claim. The men smiled at one another, and Gibbs laughed as he picked up what he recognized as a brand new bag that Tim pointed out to him.

"Did a little shopping, did you?" Tim shook his head.

"Nah." His smile grew. "I did a lot."

The men were quiet as they got into Gibbs car. It wasn't until they were on the road that Gibbs spoke.

"So. How was the Geek Fest?" McGee chuckled.

"It was pretty good. Lots of interesting technology coming out, lots of new things for us to use. I already sent a report to SecNav and Director Vance, as well as requests to purchase some of the stuff."

"Good work." Gibbs was quiet for a moment. "Glad you went?"

"Yes, and no. I would have preferred to stay home, but I'm glad I got to see what was there first hand."

"Lots of new stuff I'm gonna have to learn?"

"Probably not. Most of my recommendations are for cyber crimes, and only one for us. It's just a program that we can download on our computers, nothing beyond that."

"Sounds good." They rode in silence for several minutes. "Hungry?"

"Starving."

"No peanuts on board?"

"No, guess they cost too much. Sort of like olives in the salads." Gibbs snorted and pulled into a restaurant. The two got out and headed inside, McGee calling Abby to let her know he was on his way.

She acted surprised, but Gibbs had called her as soon as the younger man's plane landed. He'd told her then that McGee would come home fed. She had chuckled, thanking Gibbs for taking care of her hubby.

Gibbs and Tim had steak dinners, baked potatoes and salads completing the meal. Coffee and conversation flowed freely, until they finished and Gibbs picked up the tab, promising Tim with a smirk that he'd make up the lost time on the road. McGee grinned and jokingly held onto the "We're gonna die" handle as Gibbs pulled out of the driveway. Jethro laughed and reached over, tapping Tim firmly on the head.

Twenty minutes later, Gibbs pulled into the McGee drive. Tim was fairly vibrating with excitement, and Gibbs wondered if he'd need to remind the young man to stay seated until the ride came to a complete stop.

Tim was out of the car and headed for the trunk before Gibbs had the car turned off. The young man wore a smile that made Jethro's cheeks hurt just looking at him. Tim grabbed every one of his bags and rushed up his porch steps.

"You comin', Boss?" He asked this over his shoulder.

"Nope." Gibbs grinned. He remembered these kind of days. "Go say hello to your family. Give them my love." And with that, Tim was through his door, and Gibbs was back on the road.

Tim tiptoed into the living room where he could see a sole light on. Abby sat on the couch, LJ resting on her chest, obviously having fallen asleep while nursing. His wife was sleeping, as well, her head resting on a pillow behind her head. He wished he had a camera.

He stood and watched for several moments, just drinking in the sight of his amazing and beautiful family. LJ squirmed and latched on again, suckling lightly in his sleep. The movement woke Abby, and she smiled down at him, unaware that her husband stood just out of her line of vision, simply watching, a lump in his throat.

"Hey, handsome." She stroked LJ's cheek, and the baby opened his eyes, his hands coming to rub uncoordinatedly at his face. "You need to burp, my Little Man."

Abby maneuvered him to her shoulder and patted his back. She looked over to the clock, and saw her husband. Her face brightened, her eyes growing in size, a smile gracing her features.

"Tim!" She spoke softly, his name music on her lips.


	9. Tony Gets a Smile

Disclaimer: Still don't own NCIS… Dang it!

Note: Short, I know. I know. What do you expect for the second chapter in a day? lol

Note: Headbanger Rockstar! You're the best! Thanks for being my beta! Ptbbbbbbbbbb!

Jethro was back at the airport the next morning. This time it was Tony. The younger agent came out of the airport, a large smile and deep tan making him stand out to several of the younger women waiting for taxi's. Gibbs chuckled as he watched the legendary womanizer ignore them and wave to him.

"Over here, Boss!" He carried his cases with difficulty as he tried to hurry to his dad.

"Stay still for a moment. You're gonna drop everything." Just to prove his point, the satchel on Tony's shoulder slipped and knocked the small case for LJ out of his hand. Tony scowled and waited.

"Come on, Boss! I want to get going! I've got all of this stuff for LJ! And I want to give it to him!" Tony spoke quickly, a massive smile plastered to his face again.

"You're like a little kid, DiNozzo."

"Yeah. But a little kid with money, Boss." The men loaded his bags, and Gibbs stopped at the same diner he and Tim had stopped at the night before. They had breakfast, and Tony called to find out if LJ was up for company this fine morning.

His grin widened, Gibbs wasn't quite sure how, when he was told that yes, they could stop in for a bit.

Gibbs drove slowly to the McGee's, silently laughing at Tony as he chaffed at the slow pace. He hated to go under the speed limit, but hearing his boy gripe and moan playfully made it all worth while.

Tony snagged the child's suitcase from the backseat and was on the porch in a move that rivaled Tim last night. Gibbs just shook his head and followed at a slower pace. Tony had already been welcomed in by the time he'd made it up the stairs.

Tony went straight to where LJ lay in the baby swing. It moved slowly, barely at all, really, a soft lullaby, he thought he recognized it as Pachabel's Cannon in D, but wasn't sure. He stood over the baby, Abby at his side.

"Hey, Peanut." LJ stared at him with wide, green eyes. "I'm happy to be home." Tony baby talked to his nephew, seeming to forget that anyone else was in the room. "Uncle Tony missed you. Yes he did." He looked over at Abby.

"Can I pick him up?" He'd been holding LJ quite a bit since that first time, and was thrilled every time when the baby didn't scream in his arms.

"Yes, of course." Abby's eyes twinkled. Tony reached down and picked LJ up, being careful to support his head and neck as he moved the two month to his chest, his arms cradling him carefully.

LJ looked up at him, his fists flailing, legs kicking, obviously happy to see his Uncle Tony.

"Did you miss me? I missed you. Yes, I did." Tony stroked his soft hair. "You got so big this last week! You're eating all the time, aren't you? I bet you ate Mommy and Daddy out of house and home, didn't you?" LJ's feet kicked more, a giggle-like sound coming from him.

"You think that's funny, huh? Well, just wait until they're taking out a loan to feed you lunch! I'm telling you, you're gonna be a big, tall, teenage boy, and you're going to eat just like Uncle Tony. Yep, pizza, and hamburgers, and fries, and all sorts of stuff you shouldn't eat."

He grinned down at his nephew, and to his amazement, LJ stopped moving for a moment, his eyes staring intently at his uncle. Then a smile lit his tiny face, his legs and arms flailing in joy as he squealed. Tony kissed his little head, tears standing in his eyes. He was home.


	10. LJ's Point of View

Disclaimer: Don't own NCIS

Note: Thanks, Headbanger Rockstar! You're a great beta! Especially when I just keep shoving stuff at you. Heeheehee ptbbbbbbbbbbbb!

Note: Utter fluffiness ahead. Really. Total fluff. lol

LJ lay on his favorite blanket. It was red, round, and had all sorts of fun stuff sewn into it. There was a butterfly that crinkled when he chewed on it, and a puppy dog that he could move around. That one was blue plastic. He liked it. He could move it side to side for hours.

Mommy always stayed close when he played on his favorite blanket. She talked excitedly to him when he tried to reach new things. LJ tried all the time to get her to do it. She sounded funny, and made no sense at all. Her noises were crazy. What did "That's my big, smart boy" mean, anyway? She was silly.

Daddy was even funnier. He made goofy faces. Didn't he know a human face wasn't supposed to do that? LJ tried to do the same things, and Daddy would laugh and laugh. Yep. Mommy and Daddy were easily entertained. Sometimes even a head shake after a noise would make them laugh.

Mommy could be annoying sometimes, though. She kept putting his favorite toys just out of reach. He'd look at her all grumpy, and she'd smile back. He wondered if she knew what a frown meant.

LJ reached out and stretched so far. He just about had it! There! He got it! Mommy made some more of her silly sounds, and LJ gurgled happily. He was glad his Mommy was easy to please. Some of the babies in his office talked about how their Mommies were mad at their Daddies all the time. Some of them talked about how Daddy sometimes didn't come home at night, and their Mommies would cry.

Some talked about how they just couldn't figure out what their Mommies wanted. No matter what they did, she kept wanting him or her to do something else. And they couldn't figure it out.

LJ was glad his Mommy and Daddy were easy to take care of. They smiled most of the time, except for when he did something called a "yucky" in his pants. Then he laughed at them, which always got them laughing at him. Really. It didn't smell that bad.

He loved it when Grandpa came over, or when he went to Grandpa's house. Grandpa smelled nice, like the wood thing he slept in at night. His hair was weird. It wasn't bright, like his blanket, but it wasn't dark, like Mommy's, either. It was like a dirty blanket. And LJ liked dirty. He was a boy. He liked being dirty. He giggled as he thought of how much he liked dirt. He reached off of his blanket and slapped at the floor. Darn. Still no dirt.

He liked his baths, too. But not when Daddy washed his head. He didn't like it when Daddy wet his hair with a wash cloth. LJ cried. Even thinking about it made him tear up. When he was big, he wasn't going to take baths. It was a matter of principle.

His Mommy was next to him, and she moved his toy again. Oh, that was frustrating! He kicked his legs in a pout, but she just made more of her silly sounds. He reached over to the toy again, and she moved it again! He wondered if his mommy was losing her mind. What on earth did "You're getting so good at reaching for things!" mean? And why did he care? He just wanted that pretty, soft doggie.

Mommy picked him up, and put him back down on his back. LJ scowled. He hated to be on his back! Mommy knew that! What was she doing to him? Wait. Mommy was doing something. She was helping him move.

He rolled over onto his belly, and grinned. He wanted to do that again! He tried to move his butt like Mommy had just done. It wasn't going. Oh! He got it a bit! He stopped and gurgled again. Why was Mommy clapping? She was so weird today.

She picked him up and put him on his back again. Ok. He could do this. Looking up at Mommy with huge eyes, he concentrated hard. Move the butt. Twist the back. Push off with the foot. He felt himself going…. He was going…he was OVER! He landed on his belly with a soft grunt. He did it!

Mommy was calling Daddy, and Daddy came running. He was so obedient. Maybe that's what "good boy" means… Nah. It had to mean something else.

"What happened?" Daddy sounded nervous, and his eyes were huge. LJ wondered if Daddy expected him to break sometimes.

"He rolled over! Watch!" Mommy picked him back up, kissed his cheek, and lay him on his back again. He repeated the steps, after making sure Daddy was watching.

He'd already learned how to turn over from his belly. But that only got him onto his back. So maybe that up on his hands trick would be next. He had that one started, at least. He could sort of lean up on his hands. He put his head down for a minute. Sometimes it just got so heavy.

He gurgled happily, his crinkley butterfly flopping back and forth as he batted at it. Mommy and Daddy cheered, and he wondered if he should try another trick now. Maybe the one Seth had talked about. That thing where he pushed himself all the way up on his hands and looked around the room.

Seth's Mommy and Daddy went nuts for that one. LJ yawned. Maybe tomorrow. Now, he needed a nap. Man, taking care of Mommy and Daddy and keeping them happy and smiling was hard work.


	11. GreatGrandpa Jack

Disclaimer: Don't own NCIS. (sigh)

Note: still OOC, and Thanks again, Headbanger Rockstar! Ptbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb!

Jackson Gibbs pulled into Jethro's drive only a few minutes before his son was due to get home from work. He was excited. He'd missed LJ's birth, and with the weather, he'd not been able to come up safely. Leroy had made him promise to not come until the roads were clear, and so here he was, two months after the baby was born, finally getting to see his great grandson.

The old man's smile hitched for a moment. He thought of how old Kelly would be, of how much he missed her, and then he felt grateful once again for the "children" Leroy's job had gifted to him. And he felt so blessed to have a renewed relationship with his son.

Jack carried his bag up to the guest room and deposited it on the bed. He then went to Kelly's old room. He paused for a moment before turning the handle. The last time he came in, it was like a knife to his heart, seeing his son keeping the room as a sort of time capsule. Leroy had told him he'd changed it, and Jack wanted to see how.

He drew a deep breath and opened the door. The walls were the only thing that was the same. There were pictures of ducks and puppies on the wall, a baseball mitt and a bat hung from hooks, and to his amusement, a little skeleton was the night light. But what caught his attention was the crib. This was not Kelly's. His son had made a second crib. This one was a deep mahogany.

"Like it?" He nearly jumped out of his skin.

"Yes, I do." Jack turned around to look at his son. The younger man smirked.

"What ya wanna do for dinner?"

"I don't know."

"Well, whatever you wanna do, let me know. Kids are all downstairs." Gibbs grinned. "Along with that baby boy you drove all the way up here to see." Jethro chuckled as his dad, the elderly man who often said he couldn't walk fast or far anymore, beat him to the stairs.

He could hear the greetings being exchanged while he changed clothes, and he had to laugh. He wasn't exactly sure when it had started, or who had started it, but they all called him Grandpa. Gibbs chuckled even more as he thought about how many things in his life he wasn't sure of anymore. And yet how much he knew for sure.

He knew for sure that those four kids were his kids. He knew for sure that LJ was his grandson. He had no clue what he'd done to deserve it. He had no clue why they found it preferable to hang out at his house on Friday nights, but he loved it. He had no idea of why he was able to love them so much. But he did. And he reveled in it.

What fate had taken from him, love had returned five fold. Six fold if you counted his renewed relationship with his father. Another bout of laughter flowed up the stairs and he hurried down to see what was going on. He laughed when he reached the bottom of the stairs.

His father stood before the door swing, and Tony behind. Poor LJ was hung between them. He swung forward and was greeted with a "Hello Handsome" or "Boo!" and the baby jumped and smiled. On the back swing, Uncle Tony goosed his diaper-clad bottom, and he looked around, his eyes wide, mouth in a tiny O.

"What, I leave you all alone for five minutes and you torture the kid?" Laughter met his question.

"What else am I supposed to do, Leroy? I've got two months of great-grandpa time to make up for."

"And that, Grandpa Jack, is why we're going to ask you what you want to do for dinner tonight." Abby bounced at his side. He caught a gleam in her eye.

"And there's something else there, I can tell." Ziva chuckled, but Tony took up speaking.

"Of course there is, Grandpa! We never get to hear stories about Dad when he was little." Jackson laughed and looked at his son.

"You know they're gonna hear sometime."

"Not if you don't talk." He tried to be harsh. He really did. But the corners of his mouth twitched. He was a gonner. No hope for Gibbs and his dignity. He could already feel the heat of a blush. What was his father going to say? And the more he'd argue, the more believable things would be. He hung his head.

"What, you don't want them to know about you streaking down the road when you were four because you didn't want a bath?" His children roared as he picked up LJ and headed to the kitchen.

"We'll be in here." His look was meant to be a glare, but it had long ago lost its effectiveness. "Having an intelligent conversation."

Laughter followed him. He looked down at the sweet angel gazing up at him.

"I tell ya, son. Never have kids." He laughed at himself and poured a cup of coffee while LJ tried to gum his collar to death.

Several more minutes of raucous laughter followed, before a red-faced Tim came into the kitchen.

"We're going to the buffet for dinner, Boss. Ready?" Gibbs nodded and started to follow.

"Daniel Boone's on his way!" Ziva's voice rang out loud and clear.

"JACK!" Abby took LJ from Gibbs and began getting him settled into his carrier.

"What?" The eldest Gibbs looked up innocently from his paper. The one he had just picked up and was pretending to be lost in.

"Did you really have to tell them about me bringing home that skunk?"

"No." Jack grinned. "But I wanted to. There's a difference. That, and we're going for dinner. Which you tried so hard to provide." Gibbs growled playfully and smacked Tony upside the head.

"What's that for?" Gibbs smirked back.

"I can't hit _him."_

_Dinner continued on in the same lighthearted manner. It had turned into a complete Roast. With one Leroy Jethro Gibbs as the main course. His kids laughed loud and long over tales of salt replacing sugar, and of him hiding Easter Eggs in the house because it was raining. And forgetting where they were. _

"_That was not entirely my fault, Jack." Gibbs knew his defense was a weak one, but he'd try anyway. The table fell silent waiting. _

"_Oh? And who else was to blame?"_

"_You." Gibbs grinned._

"_Me? How do you come to that conclusion?" The kids looked from one man to the other, wondering who would give up first. Abby slipped a fiver to Tony and eyeballed Gibbs. He winked and accepted, tossing a look to Ziva, who wrinkled her nose. She voted for Gibbs. Another blink confirmed it. Another 5 on it._

_Both men seemed to stay so serious, as if they were going to argue. Tim nearly said something when Gibbs finally had his humor in place and could respond, hopefully without laughter. He'd seen the money pass._

"_You told me that we couldn't hide them outside. You never said a thing about inside." On the last word, he broke. He tried to keep the smirk from his face. But LJ chose that moment to squeal with delight over a spoon, and he lost his tenuous hold over his facial muscles. He smiled._

_The table erupted into laughter. Gibbs rose and went to Abby, holding his hands out. She looked at him questioningly._

"_Come on, give me my grandbaby." He grinned. "If I'm gonna be attacked, I need a shield." More laughter followed, and he turned, empty handed to get his dessert._

_The team had always assumed he didn't like sweets, but had found out differently in the time they'd gotten to know him well. He just couldn't have them often. But he craved them. Especially cheesecake. _

_He returned to the table to find that his family was busy making plans with Grandpa to go visit the aquarium the next day. He agreed with the plan. He could threaten DiNozzo with the sharks if he heard another skunk joke. Or Daniel Boone reference. Or anything at all regarding the road kill café._

_He and his dad went home, leaving the others at the restaurant. They headed downstairs and started sanding toys in silence. Rather than the stifling silence that had plagued them for years, this was easy companionship. When Gibbs reopened the conversation, it was with a twinkle in his eye. _

"_You know, Jack, I could always tell them about the time you…." He laughed as a dusty rag flew and hit him in the side of his head. _


	12. Ziva's Life Changes

Disclaimer: Don't own NCIS… But I can dream

Note: Still OOC, and special thanks again to the ever wonderful Headbanger Rockstar for being my beta! Ptbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb!

Ziva sat in the Israeli embassy, not exactly sure of why she was there. Her phone had rung the evening before, and the person on the other end had informed her that she was to be in the office at 9 the next morning. She groaned, as until now, she'd been unaware that her father was in town. That had to be the reason she was called in. She could think of no other.

"_Gibbs."_

"_Gibbs, it is Ziva."_

"_Yeah?" They were silent for a moment. "There a reason you called?"_

"_Yes. I have to go to the embassy in the morning." She took a deep breath. "My presence has been requested. Apparently my father is in town without our knowledge."_

"_Want a friend?" She paused for a moment. _

"_Yes and no. I wish to know why he is choosing to contact me like this, while at the same time, I am positively terrified of whatever he wants."_

"_I can go with you." She thought about his offer. _

"_No, I had better go alone. I will call you when I am done." She hung up before Gibbs had the chance to._

She was now regretting that decision. She sat, her knee bouncing as she waited in his office. It was unusual for him to not be waiting for her. Something was seriously wrong.

The door opened, and Malachi walked in. He nodded to Ziva, and her nervousness grew. A moment later, the door opened, and her father entered. He smiled to her and greeted her.

"Zivelah. It is good to see you." He offered her a somewhat wooden hug. He loosened his hold and motioned for her to sit. He took his seat behind his desk, obviously uncomfortable. After a few moments of hemming and hawing, he spoke.

"Zivelah, I have made many mistakes in my life." He looked her in the eye as he spoke. "Many things that I have come to be ashamed of. You know of what I speak." She nodded.

"And you wish to apologize?"

"Yes, I do. And I have, in my own way." She nodded in return. "But there is something else."

"And here it is." She scoffed. "I knew you could not wish to have me here simply to talk."

"And that is my fault. I have rarely spoken to you without some sort of expectation."

"Never, Father. Try never. There is always some _request_." Eli deflated.

"I have another request, Zivelah." She rose. "Please do not leave yet. His life depends on it."

"Whose life?" She sat back down, wariness apparent in her posture.

"You had a cousin, Abahu Haswari. He was killed in Gaza last week." Eli sighed. "I know you have no love for Ari's family." Ziva bit her tongue and waited for her father to finish. "This child has no other living relatives, and as I was once married to his grandmothers sister, he has come to me."

"You have wanted another son to train for some time, Father. Why don't you take the opportunity."

"Zivelah!" Eli's voice rose. "I do not wish to raise him the same way I raised you and your siblings." His shoulders sank when he continued. "I was wrong in not allowing you to have a childhood, my daughter." She could tell he didn't really mean his words. But she was curious.

"And you have decided to ask me this why?"

"Because you have a steady life. You have left the life I designed for you and created a home for yourself. You can give him something I never could." After a moment's pause, he answered the unasked question. "You can give him home and a family among your friends. I know you have found a family among them."

"Yes, I have found family." She looked at him closely. He was hiding something. "This child is not useful to you. What is it?"

"Is everything and everyone about what I can get from it or them?"

"With you, yes. So what is it?"

Eli scoffed, refusing to answer.

She sat in silence, looking down at her hands. "May I meet the child?"

Eli motioned to Malachi, and the Mossad agent left. Father and daughter sat in silence, neither knowing what to say until the door opened. Malachi reentered the room, carrying a small boy. He had a shock of black hair and large brown eyes under well shaped eyebrows. He was a handsome child.

Ziva stood and paced as Eli took the child into his arms. "How old is he?"

"He is 4 months old. His name is Oded." He was the same age as LJ, yet was smaller. Not filled out. Ziva's first thought was that he looked half-starved.

"You told me how his father died. What about his mother?"

"She died from an infection when he was one week old." Eli drew in a deep breath. "He would not have survived this long had…" He stopped, and Ziva didn't even want to know what he was going to say.

"And grandparents?" Ziva was interested in the child, but wanted to be sure that there was no one better.

"His grandmother was killed with his father. She was the one to keep," he motioned to the baby in his arms. "Him." There was something about the way he spoke of the child that made her shudder.

She knew she was a better choice than Eli, but doubted that she herself was the best for this baby. She did have to agree, however, no matter her doubts, that she was a better choice than Eli.

She turned to the child and held her hands out to him, but he didn't react. Eli cleared his throat.

"He was harmed by his mothers infection, Zivelah. He is blind." She could hear the disgust barely hidden in his voice. She had her answer, though. He didn't want the child, as this boy was of no use to him. She fought the urge to hit him.

Gibbs had been pacing and sanding all day. He'd pace until he needed something to do with his hands, then he'd sand. Once his arms were aching from the constant movement, he'd pace. His gut had churned since her call last night. And he didn't like not knowing. He had considered going and sitting outside of the embassy, but that would have been against her wishes. And she'd had enough of being disregarded by her father. She didn't need him to do it. If he didn't hear from her soon, he'd have McGee trace her cell.

Ziva sat in the corner of the coffee shop, her eyes focused on the past. There was much to think on. Much to decide. She hated Ari's family. His mother had been a cruel woman, her sisters just as bad. Part of her wondered briefly how they died, another part didn't care. Ziva brought her cup to her lips, the bitter brew helping to clear her thoughts. She flinched, allowing herself to remember things long, long buried.

"_You will do as I say, Zivelah!" Eli's hand came down, hitting her face hard, stinging. Tears welled in her seven-year-old eyes. She opened her mouth to apologize, when his hand flew again. "How dare you defy me!" He turned and left her room, locking her in, the words "I'm sorry" forever behind her bloody lips. She'd not say them now. Not even if he unlocked the door and invited her to dinner. He didn't come for her, anyway._

_Ziva sat consoling her sister, the younger girls' nightmare having woken them both. "It's going to be alright, Tali." The younger girl had just turned 12 and had seen a friend step onto a bus that exploded moments later. That had been two weeks ago, and Tali had woken with cries nearly every night. _

_Eli lay in his room, listening to his children. Enough was enough. People died. It was life. He rose, his feet hard and fast on the floor. "Enough of this foolishness!" He stood at the end of Tali's bed, where both of is daughters sat. "People die! It is life! Stop crying for someone who was not fit to live!" He stormed back to bed, his words ringing in their young ears. _

_Years later, when Tali died, Ziva watched her father stare emotionless at her body. She kept her own tears at bay until he was gone. Tali had died in a bombing. To him, that meant she was unfit for life. To Ziva, that meant she had been murdered. Who was she to hate? The father who considered her unfit, or the ones who had stolen her life? She felt her heart hardening._

"_BUT HE IS MY BROTHER!" Ziva stood staring at Eli, confusion written on her face. "And you will kill him, Ziva. He is no longer useful, he is playing both sides, and we cannot have that, can we?" Her stare was incredulous. He was serious. _

_When she did fire the weapon that would end her brothers life, it was to protect someone she knew to be innocent. Someone she already looked up to. Someone who respected life._

_Ziva wiped tears from her face and stood. She knew what she had to do. She needed to speak to Gibbs. She needed to be sure she'd not be alone. But this child deserved a chance. With Eli, he'd be an object. An expendable thing for Eli to train and kill at his whim. Or to leave on the streets or at an orphanage, as he was obviously worthless to, she shuddered, her father._

_This baby deserved more, no matter of his parentage. No matter of his relation to Ari or the people she hated. What was hate, anyway? It is nothing more than the slow killing of oneself. _

_Ziva had decided to choose life and freedom. Now, it was time to prove it. She stood to leave, and found that she needed to make her commitment now. With shaking hands and a sure heart, she dialed her phone._

"_Make sure it is all legal, Father. The adoption papers legal, final, unchangeable." She listened to the silence on the other end of the line, his breathing the only thing that kept her from thinking he'd hung up on her. "And I want it understood that he is not a toy for you. He is not your grandson to use as you see fit." She hung up on him then, took a deep breath, and drove like a madwoman to her Dad's house._


	13. Welcome Home, Oded

Disclaimer: Still don't own NCIS

Note: Thanks to my amazing beta, Headbanger Rockstar! PTBBBBBBB!

Gibbs jumped in surprise when his front door crashed open. He raced upstairs, nearly knocking Ziva over. Her face was pale, and tears still sat on her cheeks. He'd not seen her this upset since learning that she'd never be able to have children.

"Ziva, what's wrong?"

"Gibbs, I do not…" She stopped speaking, her eyes darting back and forth as she looked for words.

"Ziva, start at the beginning. What's wrong? You didn't call, you didn't answer your phone. It's been hours. Did he try to make you rejoin Mossad?" She shook her head, almost frantically.

"Eli, he wanted to meet with me over a cousin."

"What about the cousin? What was so important he needed to see you face to face?" Gibbs gut was churning, and she was so rattled that she didn't seem to be capable of giving him the answers he desperately wanted from her.

"No." Her voice shook. "His name is Oded Haswari." Gibbs just looked at her in silence. "He is 4 months old, like LJ, though he is much smaller. His mother died when he was a week old. His father and the grandmother that cared for him died last week. He was harmed by his mothers illness. He is blind. I do not know how to relate to a…visually impaired…person." She took a deep breath. "Eli and I are the only family he has." She closed her eyes and steadied herself. When Gibbs spoke, he asked a quiet question.

"And what are you going to do?" She took a deep breath, and then raised her eyes to meet his.

"Can you help me get the spare room of my apartment ready for a baby, Gibbs? I do not even know where to begin. But I cannot leave him with Eli." He nodded, his eyes communicating all of his pride and concern without a word.

Four hours later, they stood in the small room she was converting into a nursery. Gibbs had helped her select toys with multiple textures. Many of them had squeakers in them or buttons to push for animal sounds. Both wondered how long it would take for her to be driven insane by the noises.

They had moved the "spare" crib Gibbs had built from his house and reassembled it here for Oded. Ziva had insisted on a new mattress, which was already placed in the crib. Several stuffed animals and soft blankets sat on a small trunk filled with baby toys.

Gibbs grinned at Ziva and pulled out one final box. It held a small radio and CD player.

"I have a radio, Gibbs."

"Ah, yes, but HE doesn't." He placed it on a newly hung shelf and hooked speakers that she had previously missed to it. He set a few CD's next to it, and she groaned, reading the labels.

"These had to come from Abby. I know you would have never thought of these." He smiled in response.

"Nope. From me." His grin grew. "Every kid needs his own copy of Bert and Ernie specials. Don't forget Elmo. After all, that's all Abby is playing for LJ right now." Ziva snickered.

"Yes. And he will grow up to speak in an annoying, squeaky voice." Gibbs laughed outright.

She was relieved to find Classics for Quiet Times among the titles, but her eyes shot to her employer when she saw Aerosmith among the titles.

"What? I like Aerosmith." Ziva shook her head at him. The next titles she saw were in Hebrew.

"Where did these come from?"

"Borders. When you were looking at books on how to change his stinky butt."

Gibbs ordered take out to be delivered to her apartment while she called her father and made the final arrangements for picking up Oded Haswari. It was now four in the afternoon, and she was to arrive at six to get him. All would be taken care of, and Ziva would be given a signed letter from her father agreeing to not interfere with Oded's life. Or hers.

They ate their late lunch, early dinner in silence. She was reading a book about the best ways to care for a handicapped child, and was relieved to discover that normal behaviors seemed to be the best route. She knew how to relate to LJ, so learning Oded should be similar. She was pleased to learn that his other senses would compensate for his lack of vision. His hearing would be better, his touch more telling, his sense of smell keener. Nature would help her in taking care of him and raising him up to be a good man.

Gibbs watched her surreptitiously as he did a puzzle. He'd seen the title of the book, and was glad when she seemed to be relaxing rather than tensing. He felt pride course through him again. She'd do fine.

Gibbs drove her to the embassy, Oded's new car seat buckled into the back of his Charger. Once there, he walked with her to her fathers office. Eli rose and greeted them.

"Agent Gibbs, Zivelah."

"Eli." Ziva simply nodded, but Gibbs spoke. "We're here to pick up Oded. Is he ready?"

"Yes." Eli nodded. "I assume you are stepping into his life as well?" Eli smirked in Gibbs' direction, obviously thinking of some innuendo he could use against the MCRT leader.

"Oh, yeah. I'll be there." Gibbs smirked, knowing to push buttons without really pushing them. "Every child needs a kind, loving, compassionate grandfather. Are those traits you possess, Eli? Or am I missing something?" Gibbs shrugged while Eli struggled to answer.

Malachi entered with Oded held in his arms. Ziva held out her arms and Malachi handed her her new son. Eli had used diplomatic channels and pulled in favors the new mother was sure she didn't want to know about. But her father was free from his burden, and that was all he cared about. Gibbs picked up the small plastic bag that held the baby's few belongings and together they left the office.

"Hello, Oded." She crooned softly to him once they were in the hall. "You are such a handsome boy." The child reached up with his hands and patted her face gently. "I'm your new Mama. My name is Ziva." She said her name several times, each time slowly, and always connected to Mama.

"Not gonna have him call you Ima?"

"No." She shook her head slowly. "I want to raise him American. To have him speak English."

"You can still be called a name that's familiar and comfortable to you." Ziva shot Gibbs a look.

"I shall consider that. Thank you."

She took one of Oded's tiny hands in hers and kissed his fingers. He smiled at the familiar contact. His father and grandmother had done the same thing.

"Hey there." Gibbs spoke softly as well, putting his hand into Oded's hand for inspection. Oded patted and rubbed Jethro's hand, feeling the rough texture. He curled back in to Ziva for a moment, then reached out a hand and felt the air. Gibbs put his face close to Oded, and took the baby's hand in his, guiding the infant's hand to his face. Oded gurgled in happiness and grabbed Gibbs' nose.

"Yep, he's decided he likes his Grandpa Gibbs." Ziva laughed, a sound that was unfamiliar to the baby. His face screwed up and his body stiffened. "Time for a car ride, Ziver." Her eyebrows rose.

"Why is that? Beyond returning home, of course."

"The magic of the car. Puts babies right to sleep." Ten minutes later with Oded snuggly buckled and Ziva sitting next to him, Gibbs pulled slowly out in to the D.C. traffic. He dialed Ducky and spoke to him briefly, asking his friend to come check on the baby. He took the long way to Ziva's apartment, and by the time they reached her home, Oded was asleep.

She began to unbuckle his tiny body from the carrier, when Gibbs motioned for her to stop. She let him step in, and he removed the entire car seat, carrying Oded into her apartment in it, leaving the child asleep. He set the carrier down on the table and moved to start some coffee. Ducky should arrive to check out this newest member any moment.

"Well, I guess this is it, isn't it?" Ziva looked frightened as she gazed upon the little life she had just taken in. Reality had begun to crash down on her. This was not just for a month or two. This was for life.

"Yeah. Hey." She looked over to him, and he let the pride he felt show on his face. "You're gonna be a great mom. Stop worrying so much. You've got me, Abby, Tim, Tony, and don't forget Ducky and Jack." She wiped a tear from her cheek. "C'mere." She went willingly to him, accepting the strength he offered.

"It's ok, Ziver. Now all we gotta do is have dinner at my house and introduce this little guy to his new family." He chuckled. "How do you think Uncle Tony's gonna do?"

"Well, considering I did not go through labor, I assume he will not spend the first six hours clutching his stomach and writhing in agony along with Uncle Tim." Father and daughter laughed quietly as the newest addition of their family slept on.


	14. Oded meets the Family

Disclaimer: still don't own NCIS

Note: Thanks to my awesome beta, Headbanger Rockstar! Ptbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb!

Note: Still WAY AU, and this chapter is NOT kind to Director David…. Just so you know.

"_Hey Duck." Jethro called his friend as soon as they were on the road. _

"_Good evening, Jethro. What can I do for you?"_

"_I've got a grandbaby here I want for you to look at." He winked over at Ziva, who smiled shyly. This was going to take some time to get used to._

"_Is LJ not feeling well?" Ducky was already grabbing his keys and coat. He put his hat on his head, and nearly dropped his phone at Gibbs reply._

"_It's not LJ, Ducky. Ziva's just added to our family. She's got a baby boy, and we want him checked."_

"_Oh, my." He rushed to his car. "Your house or Ziva's, and where did he come from?"_

"_Her place, and she can tell you when we're all there." Gibbs hung up and carefully drove to her apartment, very mindful of the baby that had fallen asleep in the backseat. Jethro decided he liked these new car seats. The same base he kept for LJ fit Oded's seat. His backseat would have been snug had he needed to fit two car seat bases into it._

Ducky met them and fussed over the baby, checking his responses and vitals. He decided the boy was extremely handsome, and as such was the perfect child for Ziva. A classic beauty raising a dapper tot. He showed them how, even though he was visually impaired, he was able to play just like other children.

Oded would need some special things, but he would be capable of living a "normal" life if he was taught what other children were. He would just need a little help with color coordination and such. He would be able to choose his own clothing, find his own toys, do all of the things a child would normally do. He may need aides, and when he was walking, he would need a special cane. But he was a fine boy.

Ducky agreed to let Ziva tell Abby, but the Palmers had been at his house when Gibbs had called. They would be calling to see if everything was alright, so she agreed to let Ducky share her news. His eyes glowed with excitement. He congratulated Ziva on her son, and Gibbs for his newest grandson.

He said he would be delighted to come the next evening for a "welcome home" party. They set the time for six, which gave the team time to get home from work, as they were on weekend rotation. Ziva, of course, would be taking the weekend off.

########

Ziva hung up the phone from talking with Tony, feeling somewhat unsettled. She had already spoken with Tim and Abby. That conversation went very well. With Tony, it seemed that he was determined to play devil's advocate. And that bothered her. Greatly.

"_Hey, Zee! What's shakin'?"_

"_I am calling with news, Tony. Are you able to speak now?"_

"_Yeah." He said the word slowly. "I can talk now. What's up?"_

"_I was contacted by my father.." He interrupted._

"_And you went?"_

"_Yes."_

"_Why?"_

"_May I speak?"_

"_Of course. I'm sorry." His tone said otherwise._

"_My father called, and he had news of a distant relative."_

"_Don't tell me. You inherited a family fortune, and you're retiring to Tahiti."_

"_No. I did inherit, but not a family fortune." She waited for a smart remark that didn't come. Once she was sure he was listening, she continued. "I was introduced to a baby boy named Oded Haswari."_

_She heard a crash of dishes through the phone. "Wait, as in Ari Haswari?"_

"_Yes. Oded is his nephew." She waited a few seconds and added, "And Ari was my brother, or have you forgotten?" She heard him draw in a deep breath._

"_No, I've not forgotten." He was silent for a moment. "And what are you telling me? That you've brought him home?"_

"_Yes. My father pushed through the paperwork, Tony. He is now Oded Haswari David." There was silence on the other end of the line._

"_How old is he?"_

"_He is 4 months old."_

"_And you fell for it."_

"_Fell for what?"_

"_Your father just got back into your life, Zee." _

"_No, he did not. He agreed to let me raise Oded and to not interfere."_

"_And you believed him?"_

"_I did, Tony." She sighed. "I have to decide between trust and distrust, Tony, but in the middle of the battle is a baby. He is caught in a war zone no longer. I can protect him, and I will."_

"_Zee, if you're sure."_

"_I am sure, Tony. I will ask for the support of my family, though. Can I ask that of you?"_

"_You always get it, Zee. You know that."_

"_This conversation has made me wonder."_

"_Ha." He pulled a Gibbs and hung up. _

_Moments later, Gibbs phone rang, and the older man left Ziva's apartment. He mouthed the name "Tony" before he left. Ziva wished she could have heard the conversation. When Gibbs returned, he seemed thoughtful, and after another hour, he made his excuses and left with promises to check on them once more that evening. Ziva felt utterly alone. And then Oded started crying._

_She walked the floor with the squalling boy, patting his back, singing softly in his ear. He finally quieted, hiccupping twice, and then sighed. It was nearly time for another bottle, so she got it ready while he lay against her, not sleeping, but not really awake, either. He played at drinking, taking nearly ten minutes to drink an ounce. He fell back to sleep, and she began her calls again._

_Her final call was to Jimmy and Brina. Brina answered the phone, excitement lacing her voice._

"_Ziva! How are you?"_

"_I am well. How are you?"_

"_We are doing wonderfully." Brina didn't even take a breath. "Abby and Ducky both called, Ziva. We're so excited! Is he as adorable as Ducky described him?" _

"_He is as handsome as a 4 month old can be." Ziva chuckled. "Ducky said he was, and I quote, a perfect replica of Prince Reiner." _

_The two women had chatted while Oded played with one of his new toys, a small teddy bear made out of four different fabrics. The bear was outfitted with a sewn-on necklace made of large beads, each a different design. The child patted and hugged the bear, putting some parts in his mouth, rubbing other parts on his cheeks and arms. When he tired of that toy and seemed ready to cry, Ziva handed him another. And the process began again. _

_######_

_Eli David sat reading a report when his office door banged open. He looked up into the furious face of one Special Agent Tony DiNozzo._

"_What can I do for you?" Eli put down his glasses. _

"_You can start by telling me what game you're playing with Ziva now."_

"_I am not playing any game, Agent DiNozzo." Tony scoffed._

"_You're never NOT playing a game, Director David." His anger flowed from him in waves. "First, Rivkin. Then, Somalia. Now you're here and not telling anyone, which for you, is nothing, but for her, it has never not caused havoc."_

"_Is giving her a child not enough havoc?"_

"_You don't release people when you can gain something. Anything." Tony slammed his hands on Eli's desk. "What is it? Hmm? Wanting Ziva back in Mossad? Wanting another sleeper like Ari? What?" _

_Eli sighed. This young man was impossible. He motioned for Tony to sit._

"_No. I'd rather stand. I don't like sitting with the trash." _

"_You should be more careful with your words, especially in my office."_

"_You should be more careful with your daughter, especially on my team." Eli smirked._

"_What is Ziva to you?" Tony regarded the question, not answering right away._

"_Why does it matter to you? Why are you so angry? Have I just foiled your plans for the future?"_

"_NO!" Tony slammed his hands on the desk again. "She is like my sister!" He drew up to his full height. "I am sick of seeing her hurt at your hands. Got that? YOU'RE HANDS!" His face grew red as his voice rose. Eli stood up and tried to stare him down. It didn't work._

_Silence burned in the room for several minutes, Tony DiNozzo letting his anger radiate like a barely caged animal. Eli finally sighed and spoke. _

"_My daughter, Ziva, has made it clear to me, that unless I apologize in a way that she approves of, I am dead to her." He sighed. "And, as I do not want that useless brat, what better way to rid myself of him?"_

_Tony could feel fury welling within his breast. His fists clenched and unclenched. _

"_She will try to live the great American Dream." He chuckled. "With a cast off child that should have died at birth." He looked up to Tony, satisfaction in his eyes. "She will come crawling back to my side, begging to be back in Mossad before a year is out."_

_Tony stepped close, his nose right in the other man's face. His voice was eerily calm._

"_I tell you this now. If you come near her again, beyond sending a Christmas card, or try to hurt that baby in any way, I will come for you."_

"_Would you threaten me, Agent DiNozzo?" Eli smirked._

"_Oh, no. I'd never threaten." His tone spoke volumes._

"_And what would satisfy you that I will keep my word?" _

"_I can't think of anything from you that I'd trust." Eli scoffed._

"_Really, Agent DiNozzo? Is there nothing?"_

"_Well, there is one thing." _

"_Yes?"_

"_Just a reminder."_

"_A reminder of what?" He saw a flash of color, and woke minutes later, his nose bleeding. He chuckled and wet a napkin, gently touching his nose. It was indeed broken._

"_Pompous American." _

_He sat down, drawing in a deep breath before straightening his nose. He grunted in pain, knowing that he would indeed remember that for a long time. He chuckled, thinking of how he'd look forward to taunting the young agent when Ziva gave up, realizing she was lost without his protection, especially with the disaster he had "given" to her._

_Eli sat back, wondering how long it would take her to come to her senses and return._

_Tony sat in his car flexing his hand. Realization of what he'd just done set in, and he dialed his phone, his voice shaking. _

"_Gibbs." He explained to his team leader and surrogate father what he'd just done. He expected a reprimand, not the quiet reply of a satisfied man._

"_Good job, Tony." There was a beat, and then Gibbs spoke again. "I'm headed over there. Want to go with me and check on her and the baby?"_

"_Be there in five, Boss." _

_######_

_She found that her little son was quite hungry. He wanted to eat and eat, but if he had more than two ounces at a time of the formula, he brought it all back up. So she fed him every hour, just two ounces. He played contentedly in between feedings. _

_Ziva rearranged things in her house to accommodate the baby and his furniture easier. The table was moved over 7 inches, so there was plenty of room for his highchair. The rocker she had bought for babysitting LJ was moved from it's semi-hidden place in the corner, swapping places with the recliner. Oded cried, and she went to him, picking him up. _

_She burped him, and then changed his diaper. He giggled and squirmed as she cleaned him, obviously glad to be rid of the dampness. Once he was dressed again, she gave him another two ounces. He fell into a contented slumber as he ate. She held him and looked him over. _

_She counted his fingers. His toes. She stared at his hairline, wondering if that near-point was a thing that ran in Ari's family, or theirs. Oded had it, too, but not nearly as pronounced. His skin was a beautiful golden brown, far darker than hers. She wondered if his mother had been of African decent, or perhaps a grandparent. It would explain the rich, deep tones of his skin. He was beautiful. _

_She fell asleep with Oded cradled close to her chest. When Gibbs came to check on how they were getting along, he knocked softly, and not hearing anything, used his key and entered silently. He tilted his head to the side and smiled down at the picture they made. He knew she'd do well. _

_Tony walked in behind Gibbs and took a quick peek at his new nephew. He then went into the nursery and silently looked through the toys and stuffed animals that Ziva had for him. Nodding to himself, he motioned to his boss that he would be outside. He had a list of toys forming in his mind that he wanted to get. A long list. Of noisy, textured, sure to drive a ninja nuts, toys._

_Gibbs shut the door carefully behind them, the soft click rousing Ziva from sleep. She thought she heard the door, but when she checked, there was no one there. Thinking she was hearing things, she took Oded to his crib and laid him down as Abby had been doing with LJ. She covered him with a knitted pale blue blanket, and stood looking at him for a bit. _

_When she finally tore herself from his side, she went to the kitchen and started making her dinner. It was now nearly 10 PM, and she knew, according to the books, that she needed to get him bathed and ready for bed. Of course, as she sat down to eat, he woke and started to cry. Leaving her sandwich, she went in and picked him up, chatting the whole time. _

_Oded pressed his face into her shoulder, and then ran his little nose over her shoulder. She laughed. _

"_What are you doing? Huh?" His fingers opened and closed on her neckline as he hummed. Hugging his little body tightly, she kissed his head. "Let's get your bottle warm, hm? And maybe, just maybe, while it's getting warm, Mama can eat." She stopped mid-stride. Her words catching up with her. Mama. Her eyes filled, and she began to weep, this time with gratitude._

_She bathed Oded in the kitchen, warm water in the little basin purchased just for this task. He laughed and kicked, splashing her as he squealed. He seemed to hate having his head washed just as much as LJ did. He fussed and squirmed. Once he was dried, she dressed him in a fuzzy jumper and rocked him back to sleep. _

_She laid him down and headed to her own bed, sure that he would awaken in the night. However, having been cared for by his elderly grandmother, he had learned to sleep through the night. His grandma wasn't able to care for him at night, and his father had just ignored his cries. So he slept. _

_She woke at dawn and ran to his room, terrified that she had missed him crying, or that some horrid thing had happened, and he wasn't able to call for her. She was afraid that maybe she'd laid him down wrong. _

_But no, he was still sleeping, his chest rising and falling in rhythm, his little mouth working his tongue as if he were nursing. He smiled a little and sighed. Ziva wasn't aware of her tears until she went to brush her hair from her face. Swallowing hard, she went to her bed and lay back down, letting relief wash over her._

_Oded woke only a few minutes later, crying as he lifted his tiny butt off the mattress, arching himself away from the uncomfortable wetness of his diaper. Ziva came for him, talking to him before she was even in the room. He listened, but still whimpered. _

_Once he was changed, Ziva took him to the kitchen, chatting the whole time. She talked about how the sky was full of clouds today, and how dirty the kitchen floor was. She'd forgotten to mop it. His bottle was ready, and she sat down in the rocker to feed him._

_Oded suckled hungrily, fussing when she made him stop for a burp. He settled onto her shoulder, willing to have the first three pats, but then argued for the rest. After a couple of minutes, just when she was going to give up and let him continue, he belched loudly, shocking himself with the noise. He cried, and she settled him back in to her arms to finish breakfast. _

_Hours later, at the time she had requested for her teammates to arrive, her doorbell started to ring. First it was the McGee's, then the Palmers with Ducky, but Gibbs had still not arrived. Neither had Tony._

_Tim stood holding Oded, letting the little boy touch his face all over. He introduced himself as Uncle Probie, much to his wife's consternation._

"_Timothy McGee!" She stood at his side playfully glaring at him. "You gripe when Tony calls you that!"_

"_I know." The young man shrugged, a smile plastered to his face. "I complain because it's him. I have to. He's an older brother picking on me. I really don't mind it." Abby laughed and spoke to Oded, getting his attention before she took him from his uncle. _

_She bonded with the baby, playfully refusing to give him up when Jimmy begged to hold him. She told him to go get his other nephew. Jimmy grinned his shy smile and rescued LJ from his daddy's belly-raspberries._

_Gibbs came in nearly 20 minutes after the Palmers, but there was still no sign of Tony. Ziva was about to ask Gibbs if he had heard from the younger man, when her bell rang again. Gibbs motioned for her to go get it when he took Oded from her arms. _

_She opened the door and stood with her mouth opened in shock. Tony stood outside her door, a bouquet of flowers and a large balloon which read "It's A Boy!" and a dolly at his side, on which rested a huge box. It was plain cardboard, and she couldn't tell what it was._

"_So. Am I allowed to see my nephew?" His eyes twinkled, but then his face grew serious. "I'm sorry, Ziva. I was worried that he'd found a new way to get to you." He lowered his head before looking at her again. "I'm sorry. I should have trusted you. I should have known you'd not open yourself up for more hurt. I should have trusted you to protect yourself. Gibbs told me about the letter you had him sign. Can you forgive me?"_

"_I thought apologies were signs of weakness."_

"_Apologies are signs of weakness most of the time. However, when someone has been catastrophically wrong, an apology is acceptable. It's somewhere with Rule 51." He looked off to his left. "I think. I don't know. I'll have to double check." He shook his head, bringing himself back to the moment. "So. Can I come in and see my nephew?"_

"_Since you see fit to apologize and explain yourself, yes." She smiled at him, and his face lit up._

_He waited until she had re-entered her apartment before he pushed the dolly in front of himself. Gibbs came to them and handed Oded back to Ziva, or he tried, but Brina pulled a short-stop. The younger woman carried the newest member of the "un-Gibbs Clan" to her husband, where they sat cooing over him and making him giggle at funny noises and a puppet that tickled his neck._

_Tim brought LJ over to sit with them, and the two babies touched and pointed, gurgling and fussing at one another. Ducky pulled out his camera, and the pictures began. The most memorable one he snapped was of his two nephews leaning toward one another, mouths open. Both had happy expressions on their faces, and the squeals of delight were heard in every room of the house._

_Ziva, meanwhile, opened the box Tony had brought. Tears filled her eyes. Inside was a Leapfrog Learning Table, a Spin and Sing Alphabet Zoo, a few crinkle toys, and an Octotunes. There were blocks with textures that matched to other blocks. Soft dolls with buttons inside that made music. Nothing with sharp corners, and some of the toys were rather monochromatic. But what they lacked in color, they made up for in texture and density. It was anything Tony could find at the store for a visually impaired child. He waved off her thanks, merely kissing her cheek. _

"_Hey. I get to be Uncle Tony to someone else." His smile was bright. "That's worth every toy in there."_

_He swept past Ziva, his one hand bound lightly in gauze. She stopped him, and he shrugged._

"_Fought a rat at the dump." She shook her head, knowing better than to ask again. _

"_Go on, Tony." She smiled at her brother. "Just don't spoil him too much." _

"_Nah." Tony's face screwed up comically. "Would I do that?" And before she could answer, he had the previously unwanted child in his arms, hugging him tightly._

"_Hey, Little Man." He kissed the slightly overwhelmed yet happy boy. "I'm your Uncle Tony. And we get to drive Mama nuts together." He grinned. "Yeah, we do." _

_It was as if Oded had learned English just for his Uncle Tony. His tiny face blossomed into a huge grin and he giggled, his hands coming to smack softly against his new uncle's face. _


	15. We'll be fine, Mama

Disclaimer: Don't own NCIS. Wished with all my might. Darn star was broken.

Note: Thanks to Headbanger Rockstar for being my beta… I make her read WAY too much! Ptbbbb!

Everyone had left, and it was just Ziva and Oded once again. She picked him up and snuggled him close. He sighed in exhaustion and laid his head down. He had had a busy day.

"What shall we have for dinner, Little One?" He yawned, and she smiled, kissing the top of his head. Walking slowly into the kitchen, she rocked back and forth as she readied a bottle. Oded would sleep soon, and she didn't want him waking up screaming with hunger. She tested the temperature, and with the same slow pace, went back to her rocker.

"Hey, Oded." She crooned to him. He opened his sightless brown eyes. He didn't look around with them, but they opened anyway. His hand searched for her, and she put her hand to his. He toyed with her fingers while he ate.

After his two ounces, she put him to her shoulder and patted his back until he rewarded her efforts with a gusty, stinky formula burp.

"Wow. That is much worse than LJ's." She teased him softly, her voice still crooning. He sighed deeply, and rubbed his head tiredly along the top of her shoulder.

Ziva took him from her shoulder and wiped his mouth where a little spit up had stayed. He kicked his feet unhappily, his face screwed up as he began to wail.

"Hey, Sweetie. What is wrong?" She rocked him slowly, his cries continuing as she tried to calm him. She finally stood and started to pace. He kept wailing, so she checked his diaper. No, he was dry. Still he cried. She tried to burp him again. He kept fussing, his cries getting louder.

She looked at the clock. He had to be getting tired. He'd been fussing for over an hour.

She paced, beginning to feel frantic. He'd been so sleepy yesterday that he'd been an easy baby. She'd thought maybe he was just calm, that he didn't cry so much.

Obviously she was wrong. He changed to screaming, and tears filled her own eyes. She wished she knew what was wrong. But she had no idea. She continued to pace, singing softly as she walked, patting her tiny son's back. She tapped harder, as it seemed to settle him a bit. She was afraid to tap any harder. She was terrified of hurting him.

Suddenly Ziva's arm vibrated, and she looked down at the baby she held in shock. She had no idea that a little one could hold so much air. No wonder he'd been in pain! He sighed again, laid his head down, and slept. Ziva put him down in his crib before she started to laugh.

She went to the kitchen and started her dinner. Keeping an ear out for Oded, she puttered around, putting new toys away, picking up little messes here and there. When the timer on the oven went off, she pulled her casserole out and divided it into containers.

This was a habit she'd started long ago. It seemed silly to make a meal, and then eat it for so many days that she was sick of it. So she froze all leftovers, at least two for each week. That way, she could cook six or seven times a month, and yet have home cooked meals every day for lunch and dinner.

This time it was a glorified version of Shepherd's Pie. She had lost her appetite for mashed potatoes, so she used stuffing instead. Corn was too heavy, so she substituted peas and carrots. She had fixed a chicken the day before, and pulled the meat from the bones and it was added to the mix along with some creamed soup and heavy table cream.

She sat and ate, and then put the leftovers into the freezer, since they had cooled. That done, she went back into Oded's room and quietly took out the diaper genie. She gathered the trash, and then realized she couldn't take it to the chute. Oded was asleep, and she couldn't leave him alone. She piled everything by the door and went to the kitchen, intent on washing the dishes. She started to run the disposal, only to realize that it made noise. She loaded the dishwasher and shut the door, and it started with it's traditional whine. She quickly popped the door back open.

Growling in frustration, she grabbed a book and sat down. Maybe this is why Abby had told her to just take a nap whenever Oded slept. Nothing else was possible.

An hour later, she woke to hearing Oded singing. Or at least he wasn't crying. It sounded like he was humming some happy tune. She walked to his door, and watched as he played with his toes, curling his tiny fingers between them. He cooed and jerked his legs happily straight out, and then brought them back up, inspecting his toes once again.

He made wordless noises, almost like sneezes, but not quite. Whatever he was doing was pleasing him, and he was having fun. He rocked back and forth, never really turning over, but coming close. She was entranced. He cooed and squealed in delight and sucked on his toes some more.

She watched him for several more minutes, and then spoke softly to him. He turned to the sound of her voice and squealed. His hands reached out, trying to find her.

She crossed the floor quickly and put her hand down for him. He latched on to her fingers, exploring her hand with his. She talked to him the whole time, and his mouth opened in surprise and delight.

"You have my hand, Oded. That is my hand. Yes. That is a finger. My pointer finger." He tried to put it into his mouth. "Oh, no, my love. Not in your mouth." She smiled as he shook his head, grasping her hand tighter. He cooed and growled. She laughed at his sounds.

"You sure do like to talk, do you not?" She waited for a few seconds, and he made a "reply". "Yes, you do. You are one talkative boy." He smiled and wiggled his body.

She reached down with her other hand and picked him up. He leaned his head on her shoulder, using his hand to find her face. He stroked her cheek with little taps.

She took him to the rocker and sat with him, looking down at him. She lay him in her lap, and played with him, letting him hold her hands and move them about as he learned about them. He bent her fingers, and twisted them in uncoordinated movements. He tried to suckle them again, and she withdrew one hand long enough to put his pacifier into his mouth. He smiled around it, before going to town, sucking wildly as he continued to play with her hands.

"I think we will be fine, do you agree?" His reply was a happy smile, an excited squeal, and a twist of her fingers. She took it to mean "Yes, Mama. We'll be fine."


	16. Afternoon of Cool Discoveries!

Disclaimer: Don't own NCIS… and unless my checkbook magically improves, I doubt I ever will.

Note: Thanks to Headbanger Rockstar for being my beta! Ptbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb!

Note: **This chapter contains scenes of babies discovering that even though they have differences, they are the same. Please understand that they will notice differences, but they will realize that those differences don't mean a thing. After all, they share a Grandpa and are best friends! **

**Ziva entered the McGee house and looked around. There were Easter Eggs hanging everywhere. She smiled, as she thought of how much fun it would be when Oded was old enough to color eggs. Then she frowned for a moment, wondering if it were an activity he would enjoy. **

"**Hey, Ziva, Oded!" Tim smiled as he came up to them. **

**Tony and Gibbs were coming to weatherize the McGee's deck, so he was dressed in grungy clothes Ziva was sure had been in some second hand store. Or a trash bin. Must have been the trash bin. Not even second hand stores were that pathetic. **

**Abby came out of the living room where LJ was currently playing. She smiled at her friend, and then scowled at her husband. **

"**Those clothes, McGee. I already told you they're horrid."**

"**I know." He grinned at her. "They're my work clothes. I get to keep one, as you call it, hideous, outfit for weekend projects." He preened. "And this is a weekend project." Ziva laughed. These two were too much.**

**Abby kissed him and playfully shooed him out the door. Gibbs was already outside, laying down blue tape so the house didn't get weatherized. It would wreak havoc on the siding. Tony had called, and was running late, as he was on his way to get stuff for lunch so they could have a cook out. **

"**Come on, LJ's got some cool new toys. Lots of textures and noises." Ziva followed Abby in to the room, where LJ lay on a mat. He was now turning over front and back, scooting across the floor on his belly, doing all of the fun things that his parents ooh'd and ahh'd over. **

**###**

**LJ looked to his new playmate. He liked this kid. He was brown. Brown was the coolest color. Dirt, his favorite thing in the world, was brown. He wondered briefly if the new kid tasted like the yummy thing his Mommy wouldn't let him have that she ate all the time. Something called "Caw'kwit." It smelled really good. His new friend smelled good, too. Or maybe he really was as cool as dirt. **

"**Hey." He spoke to his new friend. The boy tilted his head in his direction, but put his ear closer to LJ than his eyes. **

"**Hi." The new boy smiled. "I'm Oded." Ziva and Abby looked over as the kids gurgled to one another. **

**The women made some of their strange adult noises, even that weird gurgle they called laughing. Then went back to drinking their tea. **

"**I'm LJ." The boys giggled. LJ held up his hand for a high-five. Oded didn't move. LJ got confused. He couldn't figure out what he'd done to offend. **

"**I like this toy." Oded patted LJ's new butterfly ball. **

"**Hey!" LJ was confused. Oded put his ear closer to LJ again.**

"**What?" **

"**I put up my hand, you didn't give me my high five, and yet you're gonna tell me my toys are cool?"**

**Oded was confused. He put his hand out. In the wrong direction. **

"**I can't feel your hand."**

"**Feel it? It's right here!" LJ was beyond confused, and ready to cry. "Can't you see me waving it? Look with your eyes, man! Your eyes!" Now it was Oded's turn to be confused.**

"**My eyes don't work." LJ stared at him in confusion.**

"**What do you mean, your eyes don't work? Everybody's eyes work!"**

"**Not mine." Oded smiled. "I use my ears and my hands." He stretched his hand out in the direction of LJ's voice. "Here." He wiggled his fingers. "Do your eyes work? My Mama's do, and she can see things. Can you see? Do you think I'll see soon?"**

"**Of course I can!" LJ smiled. "I'll bet your eyes start working soon." He reached out and touched Oded. Both babies squealed in delight. **

"**How do you see with your ears and hands?" **

"**I listen to where things are. My Mama and your Mommy are behind us."**

"**Wow!" LJ's eyes grew wide. "You are so cool! Mommy talks about bats. She even put bats over my bed. She loves bats, and she talks about how they have special ears that can hear high sounds. She says they look just like the ones over my bed. That's how I know for sure what they are. They fly."**

"**Really?" Oded was fascinated. **

"**Yeah! And, and, before I was born, she and Daddy watched all sorts of movies to help me be smarter. One of them was on animals. They play it sometimes now that I'm born, too. It's funny. Don't tell them, but it didn't' make me any smarter. I can't understand most of the noises."**

"**Wow." Oded thought for a moment. "My first Mama was sick. She died. Now I have a new Mama. My first Mama was called Ima. Then there was a lady who smelled like old cheese. She was called Jaddah."**

"**Jaddah? That's hard to say." **

"**Yeah. It's not a word from here. It's from somewhere else. I've not heard it anywhere here." Oded sounded proud. **

"**Wow. Where are you from?"**

"**I don't really remember." He paused for a moment, and chewed thoughtfully on his fingers. "There was lots of tension. It felt scary. I remember that. People yelled a lot. And then I went to stay with a man who seemed to be really rich. He had a lot of people in and out all the time, and two people who did nothing but take care of me. Lots of people called him," He chewed his other hand this time. "Rector. That's it! Rector David."**

"**Rector David? Isn't David your Mama's name?"**

"**Yeah, I think." Oded yawned. **

"**You sleepy?" LJ yawned himself then. **

"**Yeah, Mama woke me up. She got a bath, and then she made me take one." He shuddered.**

"**Oh! I hate baths! All that water!"**

"**I don't mind water," Oded didn't want his new friend to be upset with him. "I just hate my hair getting wet." He flopped his toy to the floor, and brought it back to him. Hmmm. That was better. He had a new spot to chew.**

"**I know what you mean." LJ laughed. "I can stay in that pool all day." He stretched, pretending to be in the warm water. "Just don't put that stinky stuff on me, and don't mess up my hair."**

**Oded giggled. "Mama thinks that stuff smells so good." He rocked a bit, pulling his legs up so he could suck on his toes again. Dang it. He had socks on. He pulled them off. He went back to talking after a moment and a good taste of his feet. LJ looked on with jealousy. He must taste good.**

"**She always has to wash my hair, and just when I get it good and dirty, too." LJ looked at him in amazement. Maybe he didn't taste like dirt, or maybe he didn't know it!**

**### **

**Abby and Ziva looked over, and Abby snapped a quick picture. LJ had scooted over and was laying next to Oded on the floor. Both had toys, and Oded's face was open in surprise. He was giggling wildly as LJ licked his cheek.**

**###**

"**Nope. You taste the same as me."**

**Both boys giggled, chatting for some time about all sorts of things. Oded was excited to learn that he'd be going to the same office as LJ for work. He wasn't sure what work was, but if his new friend was going to be there, then it was gonna be fine. **

"**You know what's weird?" Oded "looked" over as LJ spoke. **

"**What?" **

"**I think I can understand Mommy and Daddy sometimes." Oded giggled.**

"**I know. Mama was doing those weird gurgles of hers last night, and I thought I understood a few words." **

"**Do you think they understand each other?"**

"**Well, I guess so. I mean, we understand some things."**

"**Well, if it has pictures with it." LJ thought for a minute. "Like the bats. She points to them and talks about what they are and what they do. I understand that. But I'm talking about those gurgles when they don't have any pictures or stuff like that in their hands."**

"**Is that normal?"**

"**I don't know. I talked to Seth, he's a guy at our work. He's older." LJ sounded like he was in awe of Seth. Oded wanted to know more.**

"**How old is he?"**

"**He's a whole month older."**

"**Wow." Oded whistled. "He's old. He must know a lot."**

"**Yeah. And he said that his older brother said that he started to understand the adults. And he forgot how to talk right." Oded looked sad. His lower lip trembled.**

"**What happened to him?"**

"**Seth said he started talking like the adults, and he can't talk to Seth anymore. He still lives there, but he can't talk anymore. He gurgles. Just gurgles." Oded was overcome by sorrow and began to weep. **

**###**

**Ziva came and picked him up. She snuggled him close, and he curled into her, his head burrowing into her neck. He wrapped his arm around her chest and cried. **

**She soothed him, singing to him softly. He listened to her voice, letting her tones settle him. Everything was going to be fine. He had his Mama. She took him to the kitchen and started to warm a bottle for him. He yawned and settled down, resting on her chest. Her heart was so calming.**

**Abby had gone in and gotten LJ, taking him for a diaper change. Her son looked upset as well, and she wondered if they had some deep discussion going on that they weren't part of. Then she laughed at herself. What on earth would babies have to talk about?**

**When Abby returned to the kitchen, Ziva headed to LJ's room to change Oded. Her little boy looked completely worn out. She smiled as she talked to him, telling him what a good boy he was. How handsome he was. He finally responded to her, smiling and kicking his feet. **

**She went to the kitchen and retrieved his bottle, then sat at the table with Abby, both women feeding their sons as they continued chatting. Both boys fell asleep as they ate, and the women burped them. Ziva showed Abby how she laid Oded on his belly to pat his back when he was sleeping. The little boy burped and never woke up. Abby grinned and decided that next time, she was doing that.**

**Tim had moved the playpen into LJ's room for the day, and now for their naps, LJ was in his crib, and Oded lay in the playpen. The door was shut, and the baby monitor turned on. The boys slept peacefully until diapers were full and bellies were empty.**

**###**

**Gibbs smiled up at his girls as they came outside. He'd seen them having a good time through the window, and he was glad. Things had been tense lately. Not among them, but in the whole of NCIS. Case after case had pelted them, and with Ziva taking Oded in, taking a two week sabbatical to get him settled, the others had been running ragged. **

**She was due back to work in two days, and he was glad she was staying on the team. He knew it'd be hard for her as a single mom, but thankfully she trusted her family to help. She looked rested, happy. Something he'd not seen in her for a long time.**

"**So, are you boys ready for us to make lunch?" Abby was as bubbly as ever. She smiled at the guys, grateful that they'd come to help.**

"**Sure are." Tony spoke up. "I'm always ready for food." Ziva laughed.**

"**We know about you, Tony. What about the others? And are you done? Or halfway? Isn't that the point we agreed that you'd get done today?" She raised an eyebrow. She could see for herself that they were nearly done already.**

"**We did agree to that, didn't we?" He pretended to grouse. Looking over to Tim, he furrowed his brow. "What do you say we break that agreement?"**

"**It is my house." Abby huffed, and Gibbs laughed. Ten minutes later, the last board was coated, the cans closed, and the grill was fired up. **

**The adults ate outside, the monitor sitting on the table. It stayed silent all through lunch. Gibbs made a comment about going home and cleaning up before he played with his babies. And one started to cry. And was joined by the other after only two breaths. So much for cleaning up first.**

**Abby and Ziva rose, but Gibbs waved them back to their seats, a smile on his face.**

"**Nope, Grandpa's got 'em." Gibbs stood and walked into the house, ditching his shoes in the entry. Tony followed, talking about how Grandpa, no matter how good he was, only had two hands against two boys.**

**###**

"**Hey!" Oded whimpered when he heard the voices coming. "That's my Grandpa and Uncle Tony."**

"**That's MY Grandpa and Uncle Tony." Both boys stopped their wailing for a moment. This was an entirely new scenario. **

"**Is your Grandpa my Grandpa?" Oded's voice was filled with wonder. This day was incredible! He had learned all sorts of new things! His new friend's eyes worked! But LJ's ears didn't work as good as his. And LJ couldn't feel things as good, either. And now, oh, now. They shared a Grandpa?**

"**I guess so." LJ was amazed. His new friend just kept getting cooler. **

"**Here's my special boys." Gibbs' voice rang out in the room, and both boys gasped in awe. They did! **

**They shared a Grandpa! **


	17. Catching a Case

Disclaimer: Still don't own NCIS… sigh.

Note: Thanks again to my awesome beta, Headbanger Rockstar! You rock, dude! Ptbbbbbbbbbbb!

###

"Gear up!" Gibbs stormed into the bullpen shortly after 7, his third cup of coffee in hand. Tony followed closely behind, his head still smarting from the last head-slap. He'd deserved it, though. Pretending to sneeze on Abby. Not realizing Gibbs was behind him. Yeah, he'd deserved it. Especially since LJ had just recovered from a cold.

Gibbs picked up his badge and gun, walking out as quickly as he came in. The three younger agents grabbed their go-bags and trotted dutifully behind. They caught up with him as he waited for the elevator.

"What we got, Boss?" Tony's eyes held anticipation. He liked this time of day. Not that someone died, but that they had something to do besides paperwork.

"Woman found wandering in the park. Amnesia, financial papers under her shirt." He sipped his coffee and walked in to the box as the doors opened. His team followed, all wondering what he'd say next. There was obviously more.

"What are you not telling us, Gibbs?" Ziva spoke quietly. She had only been back to work for two weeks, and she had always been told to stay and get information until this morning. She felt a thrill to be getting back into the game.

"She's based here in DC. There seems to be some sort of cover up. Her attack may have been to prevent her talking."

"Where is she now?"

"Bethesda." The three younger agents then began to discuss a movie selection for the weekend, when Gibbs cleared his throat and glared at them.

"Right, Boss." This time, it was Tim who spoke. "Keep it out of the office. New rule 12." Not another word was spoken as they loaded in the sedan, Tony sitting in back after losing the short race with Ziva.

Gibbs strode in to the ER, the nurses simply making a path for the well known antagonist to their lives. They rolled their eyes as he was followed by three of his protégé's. The Nosey Three. At least he was minus the Noisy One.

They headed straight to the room number Gibbs had been given. The team was stopped by a nurse, and a flurry of activity inside. Gibbs groaned. He hated cases like this.

Nearly twenty minutes later, the ER doctor on call approached the team. He handed Tony a bag that had all of the woman's belongings in it. Tony nodded and glanced inside.

"What's going on?"

"Well, she was brought in two hours ago. She needed stitches, had a concussion. Nothing seemed to be too out of the ordinary, except that she was still in uniform, of course." Gibbs nodded. "She began to mumble something about codes and funds." He shrugged. "We did the typical concussion check, she had no idea who she was, why she was in uniform or what the papers were she had. We asked her what papers." He pointed to the bag DiNozzo held. "She had those in her shirt, tied to her with that corset-type thing."

"Any idea what they are?"

"She didn't know, I didn't read." He knew Gibbs' reputation well enough by now to answer truthfully. "I figure that if something is going on, the less I know the better." Gibbs nodded.

"Can we go talk to her?" The doctor shook his head.

"When you came in, she was having problems, and has slipped into a coma."

"Great. Tony, stay here, protection detail."

"Boss, I…"

"No, Tony. Stay here. I need Ziva to start going over records. If she worked in the section these papers suggest, you'll not get anywhere." He looked to Tim. "And I need Tim on financials. As soon as your replacement arrives, get back to NCIS."

"How? You're taking the car." Gibbs looked at Tony unhappily.

"You'll get a ride back." He got right into the younger man's face. "Any other questions, DiNozzo?"

"No, Boss."

"Good." Tony took his place outside of the woman's room. He learned her name was Amelia Johnson, Petty Officer. She was engaged to a corporal in the Army who was currently deployed in Iraq. He certainly hoped this was not going to cross the lines and become a matter of multiple branches of the services…or worse, the FBI. He hated working with Uncle Tobias… and then he grinned as he thought of new ways to annoy his dad's best friend.

Larry Peterson and Troy Jenks arrived, and Tony got a ride back to NCIS with their team leader, who griped the whole time about how Gibbs kept the rest of them from getting any work done. Tony pretended he was riding with Saks, and did his interpretation of a stone wall.

Once back at NCIS, he found himself wishing he was back at the hospital. Gibbs was gone for coffee, Ziva's phone was cracked from being slammed down, and Tim looked ready to smash his computer. This had to be Friday the 13th. Too bad it was only Tuesday. The 10th. Tony groaned. It was coming. The bad luck was beginning early.

Sure enough, Gibbs got a call while out for coffee that the woman seemed to have a sudden cardiac arrest, and had died. He growled into his phone, telling Larry that he'd be there with Ducky and his team. He also told Larry and Troy that he needed statements from them. Something was up. His gut was churning.

####

"Wha'cha got, Duck?" Gibbs breezed into autopsy nearly 30 minutes after the corpse had arrived.

"Really, Jethro." Ducky looked up exasperated. He had barely cracked her chest after making his incision. "Give me a chance to find something." He looked at her heart, inspecting it closely. He removed it and looked from all angles, checking her arteries and veins.

"Think she died from a heart attack, or you thinking something else?"

"Well, the medications she was on do not usually cause a reaction of this nature. I do not see any signs of plaque build up, but that does not always precursor a cardiac episode." He paused for a moment.

"I am waiting for her medical records, but at this moment, barring any reaction to the medications, I would have to say that she did indeed die of a heart attack." He drew in a deep breath. "I did send blood up to Abby, perhaps she can give you further detail."

Minutes later, he swept into Abby's lab, Caff-Pow in hand. She was spinning on her stool, as if bored.

"What ya got, Abs?"

"Nothing so far, Gibbs. I can't find anything amiss in her checkbook, no toxins have hit in her blood work." She sighed. I'm kinda bored. I mean, who balances her checkbook weekly?" Gibbs smirked.

"Didn't you and Tim argue over that not too long ago? How often to balance it? He wanted to do it weekly?" She shrugged.

"Which is why he now keeps the finances. I'm irresponsible." He laughed.

"Not irresponsible, Abs. You never bounced a check in years. Just not anal." She grinned in reply. He was so right.

A machine dinged, and she went to check on it.

"Nothing, Gibbs. No toxins, nothing. The only thing I'm seeing here is that she had a nut muffin for breakfast. Or a handful of nuts right before her attack. Her tannin levels are high. Nothing out of the ordinary, though."

"Don't care what she had for breakfast, Abs."

"I know, Gibbs. I just can't find anything else." She pointed to the door, then signed in exasperation, "Go ask my husband. Bug him." Her boss was already on his way out of the door.

Tim sat staring at his computer, irritation written plainly on his face. Gibbs smirked. Tony wasn't even around to cause it. His second was off getting statements from the ER staff, looking for anything that didn't match up.

The papers she had didn't match up to anything. There was no link, she had no part of the company's financials, so what she was doing made no sense. Tim was ready to scream.

So far, the only person Tony was wondering about was the phlebotomist. There was something weird about that man. Beyond his shifty eyes and nervous hands. Something Tony could sense but couldn't figure out. Questioning made the young man very nervous. When Tony got to the questions about the IV, the young man paled even further. Tony made notes and wanted to find out what was up with that. But, he couldn't pull the man in for questioning…yet.

It was Friday the 13th now. Tony dreaded it. He went in to work, not sure of what to do but determined to find out what was bugging him about that one guy.

"Anything, Tim?"

"No, Boss. Nothing. Not even a savings account, a safety deposit box, nothing hidden anywhere that I can find! Her only nickname is what her boyfriend calls her, a bland blasé Sweetie Pie." He shrugged. "I talked to him, and he said they'd spoken two days ago. She mentioned having trouble at work, but wouldn't say what."

"So you're telling me that it's back to her CO?"

"YES!" Ziva nearly shouted. "The man is insufferable!" She rose, gesturing the entire time. "I ask questions, he answers with questions. I tell him that's not acceptable, he keeps going on and on. It's like talking with, with, I don't know, Agent Saks when he's determined that Tony has committed a murder!"

"Did you bring him in for interrogation?"

"No. On what grounds?"

"Simply because I said so. If he's being difficult, that's enough for me. Go get him. Make something up."

"He'll see through that, Gibbs."

"Maybe. Don't care. He's not allowed to refuse to answer questions. If he's refusing, he's guilty of something. Find out what."

Ziva rose and started to leave.

"Back up, Ziva. Take DiNozzo with you."

"He's…"

"Find him. You're not going alone."

####

Tony stood by the water cooler in the hospital break room. He looked down at his watch, then compared it to the young man he'd been bothering. He got under the kids' skin. Tony chuckled. He liked keeping people off their center. It helped him get information.

"Nice watch." The man looked over to Tony, grinning.

"Just got it."

"Pretty expensive for a young kid just out of school." Tony grinned. The kid had flushed. He had him.

####

"Was she allergic to anything?" Ducky looked over the unfortunate woman's charts again.

"She was allergic to nuts." He kept reading. "Tannin, more specifically."

"Nuts, Ducky, she was allergic to nuts. So why on earth would she have eaten nuts?"

"There were traces of nuts in her blood work?"

"Yes, like just enough for a muffin, or maybe a handful. Not much at all." The two looked at one another and Abby began another test. What seemed like hours later, she cheered. It was extract. She'd missed it before. Just then, Tony called to tell her to look for almond extract. She felt all powerful for a moment, as if she'd channeled Gibbs himself. She knew something first for once.

####

Two hours later, Gibbs sat opposite of Commander Festus in interrogation. The man was obviously hiding something. Was it an affair? Was it embezzlement? Treason? Simple stupidity? Something was up.

Whatever it was, Gibbs was willing to bet that it was what Amelia was attacked over. The financial papers had made no sense. They didn't match up to anything. The papers made no sense, had no routing numbers that would match them to any accounts for the Navy. Nothing.

A knock sounded on the door, and Gibbs growled, opened it, and flew into the hall.

"You know better than to interrupt an interrogation, McGee!" He was right in the younger man's face. "Speak up, or go work at the FBI!"

"I found it, Boss. I found what the papers are. And Ducky knows what killed her! She was murdered! Tony got the phlebotomist to admit that he was paid to put almond extract into her IV port when he was flushing it with saline." Gibbs stood in silence, waiting to hear what was else Tim had to say.

"She was allergic to nuts. Tannin, to be exact. With the medicines she was on, she went into undiagnosed anaphylactic shock. That's what killed her. The money can be traced to a suspected terrorist cell here in DC, Gibbs. She was trying to let us know when he killed her."

"You're sure it was him?"

"Security footage from a cross walk, Gibbs." McGee nodded. "We got him at the scene, at the time she was attacked. Not at the gym like he claimed."

"Good work."

Gibbs walked back into interrogation, slamming the door once again. His team stood behind the glass, watching as he went from frustrated agent to pissed off Marine in a matter of seconds.

"Well," Tony remarked as Gibbs slammed his hands down on the table, his voice raising with every word. "I guess we can still have movie night."

"Yeah, but a comedy, I think." Tim spoke, his eyes wide as he watched Gibbs slam the CO up against the wall. Ziva had turned off the interrogation tape long ago, as soon as the confession was uttered.

"Just not a musical, is my only request." Ziva smirked as Gibbs jerked open the door and left, the man back at the table.

"Of course. Leaves one question. Pizza or Chinese?" The observation door opened, and Gibbs stepped in.

"Go with falafel. If I have to have pizza or fried rice again, I'm going to ground you all."

"Right." Tony spoke quickly. "So I don't get killed with a paperclip, I'll go get dinner and the movie. You two go get your kids."

"Abby's already picked up LJ. Just got a text." Tim looked up from his phone. "She said she got Oded all packed, and he's ready to sign out for you, Ziva."

"Great. I will bring the movie." Both men stopped for a moment, sharing a horrified look.

"No! That's ok, Zeeeeeeva." Tony spoke quickly. He really didn't want a repeat of the last time. "I already have a bunch in the car." Ziva smirked. She had no intention of picking up a movie.

She was only hoping to make the guys squirm, since the last time, they had decided that a good movie would be Kill Bill. She and Abby had suggested that next time they watch Showboat. Which was of course, nothing either of them would punish themselves with.

####

Twenty minutes later, Tony grinned as he stood in line at the store, new movie in hand. His siblings may hate him, but he and the babies were gonna have fun tonight. He chuckled and picked up a movie from the compulsion purchase shelf. This one may redeem him.

He chuckled as he realized that no, he'd not be forgiven. At least not tonight. Ziva and Timmy would never forgive him for Elmopalooza. His head already ached from the head-slap Grandpa was sure to deliver. But the boys liked to dance, and he and Grandpa had a blast, even if it would never be admitted to within the hallowed halls of NCIS, dancing around with "their" babies.

Two miles away, Gibbs welcomed Ziva in and took Oded from her arms. His little grandbaby was just wailing, and Ziva looked exhausted. Tim and Abby had called to let him know that dinner would be delivered to his house in the next ten minutes or so.

"Why don't you go get a shower?" Ziva huffed at him when he offered.

"Do I look that bad?"

"No." He smirked as Oded began to calm down. Ziva glared at her boy.

"He's cried since we left NCIS. I tried to get a shower at home, and he just screamed every time I put him down. Ear splitting screams." Gibbs chuckled. "Got him back in the car, and he cried the whole way here." Gibbs was fighting the urge to laugh. Shannon got mad at him a few times, too. Same thing.

"It's not you, Mama." She looked sharply to her dad. She wasn't so sure. Oded seemed to hate her today. And she felt horrible for whatever she had done to make him feel that way. She finally nodded and went upstairs, her go-bag over her shoulder.

Gibbs heard the water turn on, and he carried Oded to the stereo he'd gotten…just for the babies, of course. He put on a Judy Collins CD he knew Oded liked and waltzed around his living room to the gentle sound of her voice, the little boy now resting on his chest.

Oded thought life didn't get any better than this. He didn't know why he cried sometimes. He loved his Mama. He loved her so much. And he was terrified of the day he'd forget her. After all, isn't that what happened when babies got bigger and forgot to talk? When they started to gurgle like the big people?

But his worries ebbed away when he danced like this with Grandpa. He relaxed, his feet jiggling in time with the music, his fingers curled around Grandpa's, grasping and releasing, also in time with the music. He sighed, comfort surrounding him. Then he heard the door open and he listened closely.

A smile lit his face, and he felt Grandpa kiss his head. A new pair of hands took him, and he giggled and shrieked with joy. Uncle Tony! His Uncle Tony blew a raspberry to his cheek and then they snuggled close, rocking back and forth with the music.

Oded heard some of the weird noises he new were the big people talking, and he felt and heard his beloved Uncle do that weird gurgle he was learning to love. It was almost like a real giggle. But louder and not quite right. Then he felt his Uncle flinch and knew. Whatever Uncle Tony did made Grandpa tap his head.

Oded sighed and closed his eyes again. He may not see like his new friend LJ, but life was good, and as long as the noises and touches kept up, he'd be just fine. He heard his Mama coming down the stairs and he grinned, the pacifier in his mouth almost falling out. He slurped it back in before it did.

He pushed back from Uncle Tony and held out his arm. Mama took the hint and plucked him into her arms. He snuggled close, breathing in her scent. Yep, life didn't get any better than this.


	18. Dinner Out or Embarrassing Dad

Disclaimer: Still don't own it.

Note: Special thanks to Headbanger Rockstar for being my beta! Ptbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb!

Second Note: Just because I can… no, really. Thanks to everyone who has put this on their favorites list, or has alerted this story! Thank you!

McGee stood back from the group at the restaurant, just observing. His wife had their son on her lap, holding his hands and clapping comically to some silly song Tony was singing. Jimmy had his arm around Brina, and both were glowing. They had just informed the rest of their family of their coming addition. Ziva sat next to Gibbs who was currently holding Oded, standing the growing 5 month old on his thighs and letting him bounce to the music. Ducky was heading back to the table, and joined McGee in his observing.

"What's on your mind, my boy?" Ducky smiled when Oded shrieked in laughter as Gibbs started to help him "dance" to the music. It was "Oldies Nite", and the music playing was "Runaround Sue". The boy loved it when Grandpa helped him dance.

"I'm just watching our family. Enjoying it." He grinned as his boy tried to wrap his mouth around his wife's arm. "Don't get to just stand back and watch very often."

"Ah, yes." Ducky's smile matched McGee's. "I do believe it is safe to say that Jethro never expected to have such a wonderful bunch." Ducky winked at the younger man. "After all, you were monsters when you were younger." Tim laughed. It seemed a lifetime ago when the team had first formed.

"That we were, Ducky, that we were." He started to fairly giggle. "And Tony still is." Gibbs had stopped "dancing" his grandson and had reached behind Ziva to deliver a healthy head slap.

"Wonder what he said this time?"

"Who knows with him. He's a good big brother, but I have a feeling Gibbs regrets having him for a son." McGee was still laughing. "Last night, he and I were talking, and he said that it was time to find Gibbs a woman. He's not had a good one since Jenny." He grinned at the elderly ME. "Said we need a Mommy."

Other diners were walking past them to get to the pizza bar, which was the main draw of the restaurant. Several of them were beautiful women that DiNozzo glanced at, but then thought better of. Several had smirked at the men's conversation. One such woman was seated behind them, and they were unaware that she was listening, very interested in the handsome silver-haired man that had kept his arms full of one grand child or the other since his arrival. She had been drawn to the man at the first shrieked laugh of the little brown haired boy that had been reclaimed by his mother when the other, darker complexioned boy began to demand attention from his grandfather.

A redhead walked past their table, and to both men's surprise, Gibbs didn't even look. He kept his eyes on Oded, who was trying to take off his Grandpa's tie. His arms were now looped behind the toddler's back, keeping him safe and steady. Ziva was digging in her purse to get her phone, and Abby was laughing with Brina while Jimmy's face had gone beet red, and Tony's mouth hung open. Gibbs looked like he was trying to ignore them all as he focused on his boy.

"So, Ducky, how's it feel to know that you're joining the ranks of Grandpa?"

"It feels wonderful, my lad." Ducky grinned.

The redhead that had walked past stopped on her way back and addressed McGee, who was once again on his own as Ducky had returned to the table. She smiled.

"Your father certainly loves his grandsons." She blushed slightly. McGee looked at her, sizing her up slightly. She was beautiful. Redheaded.

"That he does." He smiled. "When we first told him we were expecting, he wasn't too happy. Abby's his favorite, even though he'll never admit it." McGee chuckled and rubbed the back of his head. "I saw my life flash before my eyes before he asked me how I intended to handle it." The lady looked at him with humor shining in her green eyes.

"And how did you handle it?"

"Told him I was going to marry her, and asked him to help me make the final selection of her ring." Her eyes opened in surprise.

"And he was ok with that?" McGee grinned.

"He sure was. Even took me to the florist to pick out the perfect flowers." The woman chuckled and looked back at Gibbs.

"Of course, just like always, all the good ones are taken." McGee cleared his throat. Tony was going to kill him. He didn't even want to think of what Gibbs was going to do to him.

"He's single, ma'am." He grinned. "Tony and I were trying to figure out how to get him to start dating again." His smile became tinged with embarrassment. "Tony's the one with the napkin on his head."

"Ah." She looked at Tony, trying to not laugh at the man who had put a napkin folded like a bird onto his head. LJ reached for it, his little hands tugging painfully on his uncle's hair. "I assume that introducing myself may not be the best thing."

"Not today." Gibbs stood and walked over to them. "Wait. May be perfect." McGee grinned to his new friend. She smiled back nervously. Gibbs didn't look too thrilled.

"What's up, McGee?" He nodded to the woman standing next to his son.

"Not much, Gibbs. Just standing back and watching our family. Enjoying just watching."

"Well, your wife is wondering what you're up to." He smirked. "Standing over here talking to a pretty redhead when Tony was just discussing how I need to provide you lousy lot with a new Mommy." McGee coughed. "Gave yourself up, McGee. Body language. Don't forget it." He turned to the woman, a charming smile gracing his features.

"Sorry, had to embarrass him." She blushed.

"He's not the only one you've embarrassed."

"Sorry about that." Gibbs didn't look or sound one bit sorry.

"Ducky said something, didn't he?" McGee looked properly chagrined.

"Now what would ever give you that idea, McGee?" Gibbs nodded back to the table. "He's only been over there talking about how I didn't look at this, how did he say it, enchanting, lady when she walked by. He's trying to get Tony to agree that I need to have another eye exam."

The woman in question blushed again and began to excuse herself. Gibbs smirked at his retreating child and turned to the redhead.

"Hi." His smile was one of pure amusement. "That bunch is completely determined that I need to have a good woman in my life."

"And you don't?" Her eyebrows shot up.

"I do, but I have this problem. I'm terrible with relationships."

"How are you with friendships?" Gibbs settled back on his heels and gave her a similar sizing-up as to what McGee had done. He smiled gently, suddenly seeming embarrassed.

"I'd like a friendship." He held out his hand. "Name's Jethro." The redhead's smile grew.

"I'm Lydia." Abby was going to have a hay day with this. "Is my name funny?"

"No." He shook his head. "Abby loves a song about a woman named Lydia."

"Oh, Lydia the Tattooed Lady?"

"That's the one." The woman chuckled.

"I love that song. Mostly because I have four."

"The kids are gonna love you." Both laughed and exchanged numbers. Gibbs returned to his table, his smile bright. He held out his hands, and LJ reached for him, squealing as his Grandpa picked him up and "ate" his fingers.


	19. Did Dad tell YOU what he's doing?

Disclaimer: Nope, don't own it. Just looked through all of my deeds and titles. Not here. Dang it.

Note: Still AU, THIS IS OOC, and Headbanger Rockstar is still my amazing beta! Ptbbbbbbbbbbb!

Note: Spoilers for Requiem and slight ones for Judgment Day.

Jethro walked out of work early. At least, it was early for him. He'd pushed his team hard during the week to finish a tough case, but they'd done it and brought four-year-old twins home safely. The team watched their father hug them tightly, tears running down his face, and none of them regretted the lack of sleep or food. They'd do it again if they needed to.

They'd do it all again, but hopefully not until they had sleep. The un-Gibbs Clan decided not to spend the evening together, because they need rest. And relaxing didn't happen when they got together. Laughter, games, movies, all of those things happened. But not rest.

They had recently begun to play a card game called Hand and Foot which required four players. Gibbs often told the younger four to play, and he sat off to the side in the same room surrounded by toys, pacifiers, and two little boys that loved their Grandpa.

On game nights or movie nights (they alternated weeks), it was often Grandpa who put the boys to bed.

He'd bathe them, get them into their jammies, make sure Oded got his bottle, refusing to let Ziva feed her son. When she did offer, he would simply shake his head and tell her no, that it was Grandpa time. And if Abby had pumped, he claimed the right to feed LJ, as well.

He'd put them together upstairs in the crib and then rejoin the adults. Telling the mothers every time that this week, they were going to leave their little ones for Grandpa all night. And his girls would both tell him "fat chance". He'd pretend to pout, laughter would follow, and life would be as it should be.

This was the first time in months they'd not spent Friday or Saturday night together as a large, loud family, and while looking forward to sleep, they all felt strange. Too bad sleep was a necessary requirement. Tonight was game night.

Tim had gone to see Abby almost immediately after the family left. Together they went to the daycare and picked up their son. LJ and Oded sat in a corner playing with blocks, the two chattering constantly. Neither were saying words, but both were starting to get Abby's propensity for talking.

Ziva followed soon after. She stood with the McGees and smiled as she watched her special son play. She was amazed at what he was able to do. Before she met him, she had no idea that a blind child could do so much. Or learn so quickly to get around blocks she put up to keep him safe. He didn't really crawl yet, but he and LJ both had learned to scoot across the floor on their bellies, getting into whatever they wanted.

His Uncle Tony thought setting up obstacles was a wonderful way to spend an afternoon of babysitting. Of course, he and Gibbs thought it was great fun to put down some new noise maker on the floor and watch either one of the babies work their way to it, rather than just give it to them. It had to be the "why" chromosome. Ziva was sure of it.

The families were on their ways to their homes in minutes after calling it done. The McGees stopped for some Mexican take out, while Ziva did the once unthinkable and ordered a pizza. After all, Tony would almost certainly show up at some point within the next hour. He'd not talked about a new girlfriend in at least three days. She shook her head as she thought of her "brother" and his….way…with the ladies.

Tony, meanwhile, was trying to ferret out his boss' secret. Gibbs didn't keep secrets. Not anymore. Not on a Friday night when he could spend time with his grandkids. He was up to something. He'd hinted at wanting the evening to himself for days now. Even before the case was over. And just who had he talked to earlier in the week?

"What ya doin' tonight, Boss?"

"Just going home, DiNozzo." Gibbs shut off his light and locked his drawers. He smirked as Tony tried to get information from him. What Tony didn't know couldn't ruin his evening.

He had been talking to Lydia for two weeks now. He chuckled at himself. Ok, so he'd been calling her, on the phone, every night for two weeks. If he didn't call her before bed, she called him. And the four days when they'd had cases and hadn't gone home, she'd teased him mercilessly when he'd tried to offer vague replies so none of his children would know he was on the phone with a woman.

She had a great sense of humor, and he found that he loved to hear her laugh. Lydia wasn't worried about impressing him, and would say what she really thought. If she thought he was being a bastard, she said so. The change was refreshing.

##### (flashback)

"_So what do you say to a date Friday night?"_

"_No, Jethro, I already told you that I'm looking to be friends. I'm not looking for a broken heart, and you are admittedly bad at relationships. That means no date."_

"_Ok." He drug the word out. "So how about I take you somewhere nice for dinner and dancing as a friend? It's been a long time since I spent a Friday night with a beautiful woman." He could hear the smile that lit her face, along with the slight chuckle. He wondered if she blushed. _

"_I don't know about that. Ziva and Abby are very pretty."_

"_Yeah, and they call me Dad." That did draw a laugh from her._

"_Alright. We can go to dinner and dancing, but only as friends." She paused a beat. "Pick me up at seven?" He let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding._

"_Make it eight, gives me time to get home from work and cleaned up."_

"_See you Friday night, then."_

"_Good." He smirked, and she could hear it in his voice. _

"_No, Jethro. It's Wednesday. You can wait another while. No coming over tonight with a six pack of beer. The last time, I was late for my shift. And you, sir, woke me as you snored on my couch."_

"_I don't snore in a bed."_

"_Good night, Jethro." Her laughter rang in his ear even as she hung up. _

#####

Gibbs walked into his house and ran up his stairs. He showered quickly, then headed back out. Abby called, and for the first time in years, he didn't answer. He really should have known better by now.

He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel as he drove. He'd not had a friendship with a woman in years. Jenny had been a friend…with incredible side benefits. He wasn't sure he really knew how to do this. Then he laughed at himself for being nervous.

#####

"Timmy?" Abby called her husband from where she stood in the kitchen.

"Yes?"

"Gibbs didn't answer. Did he say he what he was doing tonight?" Tim thought for a moment.

"No. Don't think he said anything." He saw his wife pick up their phone again. "Abby," he warned as he bent to pick up LJ, who was currently crawling dangerously close to the entertainment center, "leave him be. If he wants time, let him have time. He doesn't have to spend Friday nights watching movies with us." She hung up and waited until her husband was in the other room.

"Tony!" She spoke quietly and quickly. "Yeah, he didn't tell us, either." And so began Operation Find Gibbs. Or, as he would probably call it, Operation Ruin Dad's Date.

####

Jethro turned onto the road that his new girlfriend, he corrected his internal conversation, friend, lived on.

He shook his head as he drove slowly, looking at the numbers. Finally, he found her condo. He really hated how this stupid development circled around on itself. He parked in front of her garage door and went to the side of the building where her door was. It was too far from her garage in his mind. Not very safe.

He rang the bell and stepped back, straightening his tie, tugging his sleeves down, and making sure he looked presentable, all the while balancing the dozen roses he had purchased on his way over. Lydia watched him straighten his jacket from her window at the top of the stairs that looked down on her stoop. She smiled to herself. He was adorable. If she wasn't careful, she could fall for him.

"No, don't go there." She reprimanded herself strongly. "Be just one of the guys." She looked down at her dress and scoffed. "Yeah, right."

Lydia answered her door, only moments later. She wore a royal blue velvet dress that set her hair aflame. Jethro felt his mouth go dry. He struggled for a moment, remembering that they were going to dinner as friends and friends only. She welcomed him in, taking the flowers he offered to her with a smile.

"Good evening." She blushed as she took the roses, their hands brushing.

"Good evening to you, too." He gave her one of his half smiles. "I'm glad you were available tonight."

"Of course." They stood in awkward silence for a moment, until her easy laughter broke the silence. "Look at us." She grinned at him. "We spend twenty minutes talking on the phone almost every night for the last two weeks, and yet can't think of a thing to say face to face." He joined her in laughter.

"Shall we? Got reservations in 20 minutes." He offered her his arm and she took it as they walked out. She turned back and locked the door, pushing on it to be sure it was closed. "What's that about?"

"Oh, sometimes it doesn't close. I push just to be sure." Gibbs nodded. Nice neighborhood, but still… He added that to the list of things he needed to fix. Such as the squeaky floorboard she'd walked over when getting the vase for her flowers.

They arrived with five minutes to spare, and sat talking quietly. Jethro was lost in a story of how she'd come to live in D.C. Usually he didn't care, but he found that with Lydia, he did. He found he wanted to know everything.

She asked him questions, and he found himself answering. Their table opened, and he offered his arm, smiling when she took it. They walked to their table, still talking quietly. He pulled out her chair and pushed it in for her, and then took his own seat. She gave him points for hospitality and manners.

Meanwhile, as Lydia and Jethro decided that they did indeed like one another, Jethro's children were causing him unknown havoc. He had programmed his cell phone to ring one way for his family, and another for work. So far, it had rung only for family. And he had steadfastly ignored it.

The couple chatted easily through dinner, Jethro talking more than he had in ages. Indeed, he'd used up his daily word allowance within the first hour. They talked about his unusual family, and he went on and on about his grandchildren. She chuckled at stories of the team, and movie nights and sleepovers when it snowed. She listened with interest as he talked about his boat, after she asked for clarification on the all of the references to sanding and downstairs boat conferences.

Jethro, on his end, was fascinated as she explained kilning techniques, glazing, and why on earth a wheel was important for more than a car. He was glad they'd already agreed to remain only friends, with no romance between them. He liked her, and a romance would simply end badly. Friendship was perfect.

####

DiNozzo pumped his fist in the air as he finally latched on to Gibbs' signal. Locking it into his phone, he drove to the address provided. No way. No freakin' way. Gibbs couldn't be here. Totally high class. He, DiNozzo, ladies man, took dates here. Not Gibbs. Gibbs was a "throw 'em a fry" kind of guy. He did the cheaper knock off place down the block.

DiNozzo started snapping pictures once he'd found his quarry inside. And oh, the sights he saw. He snapped pictures of his boss smiling at a pretty redhead. Of her smiling at him. Of her blushing. Wait. He said something to make a woman blush? He text messaged Abby, who kept her shriek quiet. Papa Bear had a date! She called Ziva as soon as Tim was busy with taking out the trash.

The two women speculated and plotted to find out her identity. The standard information. Who she was. Where she came from. How Gibbs met her. How he asked her out. Why he asked her out. If she was going to be good for him. Both Ziva and Abby agreed that if she were Hollis Take Two, that Ziva would kill her, Abby would hide all forensic evidence, and Tim and Tony could keep Gibbs supplied with enough bourbon to make him forget all about her. Another text came in from Tony.

###

_Must be serious. He is leading her to the dance floor. He looks happy._

_Abby sent back: Did you say he is dancing? He has not danced since Mommy._

_Dancing he is, Abby. And looking good doing it. _

###

A picture came to her phone, and she sent it on to Ziva after staring at it a moment. Papa Bear certainly didn't have her held tightly, but he was indeed holding a beautiful redhead, other couple on the floor, and he was smiling. A real, full, relaxed smile.

###

_What are you doing now, Tony?_

_Going for a beer. I'm out of here before he catches me, or they start acting like I do._

_No chance of that, Tony. Just don't have too many. And call Z. She got a pizza, and you never showed up._

_Will do, thanks. Night. I'll have pics tomorrow. Lol_

_Night, and you'd better. _

###

The set of songs had ended, and Jethro led Lydia back to their table. He signaled that they were ready for their check, paid, and together they left, unaware of his oldest child's mischief. They walked along the lit street, looking into store windows, talking about whatever came to mind.

Jethro was surprised to find that he was able to talk easily with her. He didn't use many words, but she understood him, and was comfortable with long silences. She felt no need to fill the air with noise. Perhaps it was just the friendship itself. She didn't have to pretend. It was unusual for him, and he liked it. He liked her. He wondered if he could handle a real relationship without screwing it up. He wondered if he could eventually talk her into it.

###

Tony went to the bar and sat nursing a beer, finding that he was becoming irritated that he'd taken his Friday night to find his boss…his dad. He'd had to go looking because the man wasn't answering his phone. He didn't answer only when there was something terribly wrong.

It wasn't just him. Abby and Ziva had been worried, too. When he called Ziva, she thanked him for finding Gibbs. She had been concerned when she called to invite him for pizza along with Tony, and he didn't answer. He had never failed to answer before unless he'd been hurt. She'd been relieved to know it was a date, and not a hostage situation or an ex-wife making trouble.

She had mentioned Jenny, and now Jenny sat heavy on his mind and heart. He ran through her last day of life, how she'd told them to take the day off, how she'd covered her tracks. How Gibbs' behavior tonight was mirroring hers. His anger grew by the moment. Didn't he see that he did the same thing _she _did? And it got her killed.

He ordered another beer, adding a shot of Black Velvet to his request, and brooded, trying to decide what to do. He had a family, and dammit, he wasn't going to allow their dad to distance himself and put himself in danger. Jenny had been their Mom. She admitted to it, sure, it was in the letter she'd never intended any of them to read, but she was. And their dad was being irresponsible. Irresponsibility caused death. It was as simple as that.

###

Jethro and Lydia had walked and talked for nearly two hours, when he decided it was time to head for home. He offered her coffee at his place, and she agreed, so long as they kept it platonic. He grinned and agreed. He teased her about being afraid of him, and she offered him her own version of a head-slap.

Laughter rang out in the car, and he pulled over for a moment until he caught his breath. She threatened another slap unless he got her coffee and quickly. He pretended to shudder in fear, and whipped back out into traffic. Lydia grinned. The tension was broken.

They pulled in to his drive, and Gibbs narrowed his eyes. Lydia glanced over at the car that was obviously parked incorrectly. It was at a not-quite-20 degree angle, sort of left of center. It barely left room for Gibbs' car.

"Expecting someone else?"

"No. That's DiNozzo's car." Gibbs huffed. "Last time he parked like that was when…"

"You need to take me home and deal with this?" Lydia put her hand on his arm, rubbing gently.

"No." Gibbs smirked at her. "Just be prepared for…whatever." He chuckled. "All of the kids called several times tonight, and I didn't answer. He's probably mad. After all, I broke a rule."

"Oh. One of the infamous rules you were telling me about."

"Yes. Never be unreachable." He sighed and opened the door. He hoped Tony would already be asleep.

Jethro opened the door to his house and entered quietly, Lydia behind him, just as quiet. He shut the door and started to the kitchen when a voice stopped them. The young man was sitting on the couch in the darkened living room.

"Have fun?" His voice was quiet and a little cold.

"Yeah, I did." Jethro flipped on the light, concerned at the young man's mood. They continued in silence for a few minutes while Lydia helped herself to the coffee, making a fresh pot. Thankfully he didn't hide the grounds or filters. They were easily spotted on the counter. "You gonna say anything?"

"She didn't answer her phone, Gibbs."

"Who didn't, Tony?" Lydia listened from the kitchen, her eyes filling. She had an idea.

"Jenny." His voice broke. "She didn't answer, and you didn't answer."

"Tony, I…" Gibbs struggled for words. He sat next to the drunken young man and pulled him into a hug. "I didn't think." That comment got a reaction from Tony. He clamored to his feet and began pacing as he spoke, his hands flying wildly, eyes and nostrils wide.

"No! You didn't!" He shouted and looked at Gibbs, his eyes haunted. "You're never unreachable! Ziva called you to invite you to dinner, and Abby called to see what you were doing, if you were home and would like to come over, and I asked what you were doing while still at the office, because you were hedgy all day." Tears now tracked down his cheeks.

"She did the same thing that day, Gibbs. She didn't give us answers, and she didn't answer her phone, and when she gave an answer, it wasn't a whole answer." He stopped, his breath coming in short gasps.

"Tony, c'mon. Sit down." Gibbs started to lead him to the couch. "I'm ok. We're all ok." Tony's knees buckled. His eyes rolled back, and he fell. Lydia ran in from the kitchen, rolling the young man on to his side as Gibbs dialed his phone.

"Mallard residence." Ducky sounded sleepy.

"Duck, something's wrong with Tony."

"Where are you?"

"My house. Got in from a date…" Ducky had already ended the call, and was on his way out the door. Gibbs just looked at his handset in surprise. He always hung up first.

Tony woke from his faint moments later, and rolled to face the couch, embarrassment and confusion dictating his actions. He felt sick to his stomach, and his thoughts raced. He was unaware of the low keening that was coming from his tight throat.

Ducky entered the house at a fast walk. Jethro's voice had sounded panicked, and if he was calling on a Friday night near midnight, it could be almost anything.

He shooed Jethro and Lydia from the room after getting Jethro's help to move the younger man on to the couch instead of in front of it. Lydia gripped Jethro's arm and tugged at him until he turned and followed. His expression was one of horror and pain.

"Tell me, Jethro." Her voice was barely above a whisper. He nodded and told in hushed tones of the weekend Jenny died, including his hoping Svetlana would kill him, as well. He went on to describe the letter and it's impact on the team. He told her of where it hid in his basement with Shannon and Kelly's pictures, carefully preserved in the frame Abby had presented him on the first anniversary of Jen's death.

Lydia listened quietly, beginning to understand the strong bond that created the family she was hoping to one day get to know. Her heart ached for them. She reached out and drew Jethro to her, resting his head on her shoulder. It spoke to his fear and shock that he allowed the embrace.

Ducky entered the kitchen quietly, wanting to not wake Tony. He'd finally cried himself to sleep as he talked about what was on his mind. Ducky stayed by him and listened, stroking the man's hair and repeating the same thing his surrogate father had often told him, "It's not your fault."

Gibbs realized Ducky was sitting at the table with a cup of coffee and straightened up. He looked at the older man with a pained expression. He looked away quickly, as Ducky looked furious.

"What's wrong, Duck?"

"Our boy has had what I would qualify as an emotional flash-back to Jennifer's death."

"Emotional flashback? What is that exactly?"

"Nothing has visually reminded him of her death, no odors, but rather a set of circumstances." He drew in a breath, choosing his words carefully. "Jennifer was secretive in the days leading up to her death. She didn't share information. She didn't answer her phone. She was unreachable, Jethro." He met Gibb's eyes very pointedly. He continued.

"Abby tried to call you to come have dinner with them, Ziva called for the same purpose. Tony asked what you were doing, and you didn't answer." Gibbs groaned and felt sick. "So young Anthony went searching for you. He finally found you, and took pictures to reassure his siblings to know that while Mommy was gone, Daddy was fine. He called them to let them know you were alright, then he went to get a drink. His mind was by now racing on the past, and the similarities between the days." He paused, and Gibbs started to speak, but Ducky held up his hand, so Gibbs waited. "Ziva also noticed the same things. I'm going to call on her tonight, as well. Make certain that she and Oded are well and safe."

"He was consumed by fear and the anxiety that he would lose his family, Jethro. He feels that without you, he has no place in the un-Gibbs clan. That since Jennifer's passing, he is somehow to blame for it, and without you to buffer between he and his siblings, that he would be tossed aside." Jethro began to speak again, and Ducky silenced him with a look. "This is brought on by his father's treatment of him after his mother passed."

"How do I make this right?" Jethro found his throat was so pinched he could barely breathe, let alone speak. "What do I do now?"

"Break another rule, Jethro. Apologize." Ducky took a long draw of his rare cup of coffee. "And have a family meeting. All of your children were terrified tonight." With that, Ducky left.

Jethro sat at the table in silence, the fun of the evening completely destroyed. He'd been so stupid. Lydia rose to get another cup of coffee for him, and he looked at her blankly. It took a moment for his brain to catch up to the present.

"You're still here?" His voice was gruff.

"Yes." She knew he didn't mean it as rudely as his question came across. "You need a friend, and that's what I am. A friend." He nodded and accepted the cup she held out to him.

They sat silently for several minutes, she nursing her coffee, and he taking long drags from his cup, rising to refill it, and returning to his seat for more silence. Lydia just waited while he sorted his thoughts. When he looked like he was going to shut down or implode, she asked a question to get him talking.

"What do you think you should do, Jethro?"

"I don't know." He ran his hand through his hair. "I need to make this right, but I don't know where to start. Do I apologize, do I beg him to forgive me? Do I explain that I didn't tell them what I was doing because I wanted to have a night to myself, and I was worried about them being upset that I wasn't planning to spend the evening with them? Where do I start?"

"Where is the most logical place to start? What would Tony be ready to hear when he wakes up?" Gibbs sat in silence, gathering his thoughts before he spoke.

"That he was right in tracing me down, for having my six, and that I was wrong to go off and…" he trailed off, as the magnitude of what Tony was going through sank in. Even Gibbs, the last time he'd gone off like this, had needed to be rescued by Tony. The young man had had to dive into a freezing river twice. Once to save Maddie, and once to save him. "I've completely screwed the pooch."

"We've established that, Jethro." Her voice was soft, but held a note of determination. "How do you think we should start to fix it? What would he listen to? What would help you both?"

"I don't know." He groaned in frustration. "I just wish I wasn't such a bastard." He scoffed at himself.

"Jethro, a bastard wouldn't have welcomed his team into his heart and life the way you have. A bastard wouldn't admit to a woman he is obviously trying to woo out of friendship and into a relationship that he tried for years to replace his first wife and daughter, thus making messes out of future marriages and hurting those women. A bastard wouldn't regret his choices.

"A bastard wouldn't have such pride in grandchildren that are not really his by blood. A bastard would not care so deeply for the young man laying in there on that couch. And finally, a bastard wouldn't have kept a letter written by a woman who cast him off for so many years." He reached over and took her hand in his.

"So an apology. And I need to talk to the kids. Let them all know I'm ok. Let them know Tony's ok." Lydia nodded in agreement.

"Do you want me to stay, or should I call a cab?" He thought for a moment.

"Can you stay? I may need a friend."

"Sure." She sat quietly next to him as he called his children, one after the other. Ziva quietly forgave him, but let him know she was on her way over. Tim let him know he was upset that his wife was upset, but that all was well between the two men. Abby was Abby. She cried into the phone. She was angry. She raged that Tony was hurt. She told Gibbs that he'd been wrong, and that he better never do that to them again. And then she forgave him.

Gibbs felt about two inches tall when his front door opened and Ziva came in carrying Oded. He stood on shaky legs and went outside, getting her bags from the trunk. He brought in Oded's diaper bag, her go bag, and some other bag that he wasn't sure; he assumed she needed anyway.

She sat by Tony as he rested on the couch, a far off look in her eyes. She was rocking Oded in his carrier. She had one hand on her son, the other on her brother.

The baby stirred and began to whimper. She picked him up and carried him to the kitchen. Ziva looked at Lydia closely for a moment, finally deciding to not speak yet. She would only speak in anger. And it was not her fault.

She readied her son's bottle and sat at the table. She'd not go upstairs until she'd spoken with Gibbs. All the way over, she had raged silently. She was furious with him.

Not that he'd gone on a date, but that he'd not told any of them what he was doing. It was unlike him to go off like this. It was something Jenny would do. Something she had done.

Ziva fed Oded, doing her best to settle herself so he would not sense her anger and cry from it, or get a belly ache from the tension. The baby fussed a bit, finally burped, and was back to suckling moments later. He yawned around the nipple and started to fall asleep. His sucks were coming farther and farther apart. Neither woman had spoken yet.

Once he was asleep for sure, Ziva turned him onto his belly over her arm and patted his back gently. It didn't take long until he burped again. His Mama carried him upstairs and put him in the crib Gibbs had just finished putting new sheets on.

The older man stopped at his crib and reached in, tenderly stroking the baby's cheek. Ziva watched from the door, leaving the older man to tuck her son in as she returned downstairs. She checked on Tony once more before going into the kitchen and pouring herself a cup of coffee.

Gibbs wasn't far behind her, and he sat at the table again, cup of coffee for once not in his hand. Ziva raised her eyebrow, and he shrugged. Lydia watched the exchange, wondering what would happen. Ziva poured a second cup of coffee, then spoke to Lydia for the first time.

"Would you like more coffee?"

"No, thank you." Both women spoke quietly. Gibbs shuddered. He'd been in a room with quiet women before. Right before it became really loud with arguing.

However, neither woman intended to argue. Ziva sat and looked at Gibbs. She held his gaze for a moment.

"I'm sorry, Ziva." She nodded.

"I know, Gibbs." She sighed, deciding what to say when Oded woke and began crying. She rose and patted his shoulder on her way by, coffee cup still in the other hand. "I'm glad you're safe and well, Dad."

Gibbs went upstairs nearly an hour later to check on Ziva and Oded. They were sound asleep, Ziva on the twin bed that had been put back up in the room, and Oded in the crib. He pulled the covers up over his daughter, and then did the same for his tiny grandson.

He stood looking down at Oded for a moment. He'd gained a pound since coming to live with Ziva, but he was still underweight. He wondered if Ziva was starting him on oatmeal yet.

"I can hear you thinking," Ziva whispered from the bed.

"Sorry." He came to her and kissed her cheek. "I just wanted to be sure you were alright."

"We are." She yawned. "How is Tony?"

"Still sleeping." She nodded.

"You should go back to him. And to her."

"We're just friends, Zeever."

"It does not matter right now, Gibbs." She sighed and gripped his hand.

"I screwed up, I know it."

"Yes, you did. But we'll survive." She yawned. "Now go to Tony. I need sleep." He smiled and kissed her forehead. Shutting the door behind him softly, he went back downstairs.

He joined Lydia in the living room, where they sat next to Tony.


	20. Tony's in Trouble, But Not of His Making

Disclaimer: Still don't own it.

Note: The next few chapters will contain difficult material. Mentions of self-harm, suicide, child abuse.

Note: Thanks to Headbanger Rockstar once again for being my beta! Ptbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb! AU/OOC

Jethro sat by Tony long after Lydia had left. She'd called a cab near sunrise, maintaining a vigil with Jethro over the younger man until the sky began to turn a gentle pinkish purple in the east. He'd sent her out the door with enough cash for the fare and a tip.

He promised to call her later in the day, after he'd had a chance to talk to Tony. For now, he sat by his son with Tylenol and water. He had kept a steady stream of coffee pouring down his throat all night. Twice Tony had murmured something, only to resettle into sleep.

Gibbs began to drift off to sleep, his thoughts still nagging at him when he heard Ziva creep down the stairs. She had spent the night upstairs in the guest room, Oded was still sleeping in the crib that was waiting for any babies that needed a night with Grandpa.

"Good morning." He nodded to her, his eyes bleary.

"Good morning." She looked at him closely. "Have you slept at all?"

"No." He shrugged. "Got coffee."

"Coffee and a dirty conscience?" He nodded.

"I'm sorry." Ziva looked at him in surprise.

"That's the second time you've said you're sorry." Gibbs nodded.

"And I meant it both times." Ziva paused a moment, seeming to come to a conclusion.

"You need sleep."

"I can get it after he's awake and I've had a chance to talk to him. I don't want him to leave without talking to me."

"I can make sure he does not leave."

"And if you're upstairs with Oded?"

"Neither of you need to worry about it." Tony's voice rose groggily from the couch. "I'm awake. You're not being that quiet." He rolled onto his back and winced at the light.

"Hey." Gibbs handed him the glass of water and two Tylenol. Tony accepted it and then made to stand up, only to fall back down. Jethro patted his shoulder, pushing him lightly to lay back down.

"I should go, Boss." Tony looked guiltily away. "I kinda ruined last night." Gibbs shook his head.

"No, Tony." His voice was quiet, and Tony looked at him in confusion. "You were right. You had my six, you've always had my six." Gibbs cleared his throat and met Tony's gaze. "I was wrong, Tony. I should have told you where I was going, what I was doing. I didn't realize that in not telling you, I was going to create a fear for you, make you remember…" His voice broke, and he moved to sit by his son, Tony moving slightly to make room beside him on the couch.

"To remember the day she died, Tony. I'm so sorry." He stroked his boy's hair, watching Tony close his eyes, tears leaking silently out of the corners of the younger man's eyes. "I did the same thing when I went off about Maddie. I was wrong then, too." He cleared his throat again, and Tony looked up at him. "I'm sorry, son. So sorry."

"I yelled at you last night, Gibbs."

"Yeah, you did." Jethro drew in a deep breath. "And I deserved it. I broke one of my most important rules. You had every right to get mad."

Tony scooted on the cushions until he was sitting up. He sized his dad up for several minutes before leaning on the older man, wrapping his arms around him. Gibbs accepted the hug, offering one of his own.

"I was so scared, Gibbs. I didn't even realize it at first. I was just upset that we didn't know where you were. But I was upset because I was scared. I'm sorry I got scared." He was trembling in Gibbs' arms.

"Hey. Shhhhh." Gibbs rocked him slowly back and forth. "S'ok, Tony, s'ok. Shhhhh." Ziva retreated to the kitchen. She and Gibbs had spoken last night and this morning, and she was doing better. Her brother needed this. And he didn't need to worry that he'd be teased later.

Tony finally calmed, and Jethro backed from his embrace, looking at the young man. He was not prepared for the anger written across his features. He knew there was more. He already knew what was coming.

"You lied." Tony's voice was deceptively quiet. "I asked what you were going to do, and you said you were coming home. I came over here looking for you. You weren't here. You didn't answer your phone." He pushed Gibbs away from him.

"You said we could always trust you." His green eyes flashed with anger and hurt. "You said you'd never treat me like my father did." He looked away from his mentor. "But you did."

Gibbs straightened, but remained sitting. He had to get this right, and walking downstairs to sand his boat was not going to work. He drew in a deep breath and started.

"You're right, Tony. You're right. I lied to you. I hurt you." Tony turned his eyes to his boss, not sure if he was hallucinating or not. Gibbs was full of apologies today, it seemed. "I wanted to have a date and not have 50 questions. I wanted to spend a night with a lady, and not feel like I was making my family think they were taking too much of my time, or that I was unwilling to spend my weekends with them and their children. I'm not used to explaining things. And I screwed up." He met Tony's gaze once again.

"I have no excuses, Tony. I messed up. I lied to you. I was unavailable. I didn't answer my phone. It could have been one of you in an accident." Jethro's voice broke, and he allowed a tear to track down his face. "I've thought of that over and over since you talked to me last night. What if you were all trying to call me because LJ or Oded fell and needed stitches? What if you'd been in an accident? What if it was Ziva, or Tim, or Abby?" The older man's voice faltered, and then stopped with a choked cry.

He raised an arm and motioned aimlessly, letting his tears fall freely. He didn't know any better way of letting Tony know how much he knew he messed up. Or any better way to let him know he was remorseful.

Tony looked at his dad, eyes misting over. He'd never seen Gibbs cry. Even at funerals, maybe a tear or two. This was different. He was showing his child the love he felt. Tony put his arm around Jethro, pulling the man to him.

The two men clung to one another, Gibbs giving in to the grief he'd hung on to for so long over so many friends and family he felt responsible for, and Tony accepting that while his "dad" may not be perfect, and he made mistakes, that they would make it through. He belonged. They belonged. And nothing would change that. Not even the second "b" in Gibbs' name.

Oded broke the moment by crying. He didn't start out with a quiet whine, no. He went for the big guns. Ziva raced up the stairs, regretting that she'd not returned to him sooner. But she'd not wanted to walk past the guys and disturb them. Tony deserved it, even if she could still deny Gibbs the same courtesy.

#######

Tony and Ziva sat at the table, Oded sitting in his highchair between them. The baby had a set of plastic cups that fit together in graduated sizes and was busy stacking them, feeling their sizes and figuring out how to do it as he slid them together, sometimes lifting one to set another in its place.

They had finished breakfast, and had the newspaper spread between them. Tony had the comics, Ann Landers, the puzzles, and of course his horoscope. Ziva had world news. Both seemed lost in thought, but in reality both were focusing very hard on not paying attention to Gibbs phone conversation.

He was busy talking with Tim about Abby's anger at him, the men working out a plan to get Abby to forgive him…and be nice. She was still being a little snippy when Gibbs had called to invite them for Sunday dinner. Especially when she found out "she" would be there.

Abby, for all of her saying that she wanted her "dad" to be happy, she was very angry about the possibility of getting a step-monster. "We've never met her, Gibbs. When was the last time you did this? Let me think…Oh, I know. Hollis Mann. You didn't tell us about her, either. And with this stunt last night, yeah. Neither one of you are racking up points here, Gibbs."

He finally ended his call, and Ziva, using that sort of telepathic voodoo she and Tony communicated with, rose to go. Tony needed a day to himself with Gibbs. Ziva had been upset, but she had not been out looking for Gibbs, she had not been to his house to find it empty after he'd said he'd be home. She had not gotten drunk while thinking of Jenny. He needed a day with Dad.

Gibbs helped her load Oded and her bags in the car, waving from the front porch like a dutiful grandfather as he watched them drive away. He knew they'd be back for dinner the next day, but he liked having the baby around. His giggles and squeals chased away any darkness lurking in corners.

Jethro turned to go back into his house, and nearly ran into Tony. The young man stood in the door, no socks, shoes no where to be seen. His hair was tousled from sleep still, and he looked ready for another few hours beneath the blankets. Dark circles spread beneath his eyes, and he yawned as he tried to speak.

"Why don't you go up to my bed for a bit, DiNozzo? Get some better rest."

"What, you don't want to spend the day with me?" Tony shrugged. "I can go home and sleep."

"No, you're gonna sleep here." The men eyeballed one another, neither willing to back down. While all was forgiven, they were still on shaky ground.

"I'm going home."

"You are home, Tony." Gibbs voice was quiet. "You are home. So just go to bed. I'll check on you in a bit. Make an old man happy, huh?" Tony smirked.

"I'll remember you said that. Old man." He turned and walked slowly up the stairs.

Once in Gibbs room, he sat on the edge of the bed before laying down. He looked around at the sparse furnishings in the room, so much like the man he knew was already in the basement sanding. Deep, rich wood made up the dressers and bed frame. The mattress was comfort itself. Not too soft, not too hard. Perfect. He lay on his side, pulling the covers nearly to his shoulders and tucked the pillow firmly under his head. He didn't even budge five minutes later when his dad came in to make sure he'd gotten to bed alright.

#####

He dreamed of a beach. Tony could feel the sand under his feet, and hear the waves crashing. He could smell the clean air and feel the breeze. He closed his eyes and put his face to the heat of the sun. Breathing deep, he noticed a strange scent. Very pleasant, very light. He sniffed again. It was nearly like perfume.

"Anthony?" He heard a voice and turned quickly. He saw a woman he knew, yet couldn't place.

"Yes? That's me." He smiled his broadest smile, charm oozing off of him.

"Do you not know me?" The woman looked hurt, as if he was certain to know her.

"No, I'm sorry." He crinkled his brow, trying to remember when he would have met her.

"You've not seen me in years, Anthony, yet I had hoped you'd know me." She smiled sadly. "We look so different here." A sigh escaped her lips.

"Here?" He cocked his head to the side, his smile fading a bit.

"Yes, Anthony. Here. In our eternal home." Anthony laughed.

"Oh, I have gone crazy." He looked at her again, and his eyes flew open wide. Before him stood his mother, as he had last seen her.

Blood oozed from her wrists, her body a freaky bluish color. He could feel the cold seeping from her, just as he could as a child when he'd found her body.

A scream escaped his lips.

_########_

_Gibbs was sanding when he heard an unearthly scream. It was unlike anything he'd heard since Kelly was a baby and having night-terrors. He raced up the stairs, following the sound, terrified at what he'd find._

_Tony lay on the bed, his forehead soaked with sweat, the blankets clutched tight in his fingers. He inhaled and screamed again, seeming to be unable to wake from his nightmare._

"_Tony!" Gibbs shook him, dialing Ducky as he did so. Tony's eyes flashed open, and he sprang from the bed, nearly pushing Gibbs down as he headed for the bathroom. He emptied his stomach as soon as he reached the commode. _

_Ducky saw the caller ID, answered, heard the commotion, and was out the door before he'd even spoken to Jethro. He had a good sedative in his bag. Last night, the boy had been too drunk. Today, that was not the case. Whatever the previous day had awakened in young Anthony, it would need to be dealt with…quickly._


	21. It gets worse for Tony

Disclaimer: Still don't own it.

Note: THIS STORY IS OOC and AU! Thanks to Headbanger Rockstar! Ptbbbbbbbbbbbbb!

Note: Still warnings of violence. Mentions of self-harm and suicide.

Tony rocked slowly back and forth, his knees drawn to his chest, arms wrapped around them. He sat in silence, his eyes held a haunted vacancy that frightened Gibbs. The older agent spoke to his second, hoping for a response, but the younger man didn't seem to realize he was even in the room.

Tony stared at something unseen on the floor, his eyes growing wider the longer he stared. His lips began moving silently in some unspoken mantra. Gibbs stepped out and called Ducky. The man was still 10 minutes away. When Gibbs came back to the bathroom, Tony began to speak, his words shaky and disjointed. His body began to tremble.

"Mommy…. Knife… blood. Lots of blood." He rocked faster, still staring at the spot, but his words became clearer. Gibbs felt ill. "I'm sorry Mommy. I'm not good. I make Father mad." He rocked faster yet. "You didn't have to kill yourself, Mommy. You could have killed me. You know Father wants you, not me." He was becoming frantic.

"DiNozzo!" Gibbs knelt before him, trying desperately to break into his adopted son's nightmare. "Hey!" He shook Tony, and the young man's eyes flew shut, his hands moving to shield his head, palms out, face down. Jethro backed up and yelled his name once more. "TONY!"

The younger man began to scream again, but this time his screams included words. "NO! Father! Don't! Please! Don't hit me again! I didn't kill her! I swear! I didn't kill her!" He lurched forward and retched on the floor.

Ducky burst through Jethro's front door, medical bag in hand. Things were worse than he'd envisioned.

"Jethro!" He called as he mounted the stairs. "What is he doing at this moment?"

"He's laying on the floor. Just threw up." Jethro proceeded to explain to him what had just happened, from the nightmare to this moment. Ducky pushed past his friend and went to the dresser, setting down his bag.

He filled a syringe with a high powered sedative and ordered Gibbs to hold Tony still to the best of his ability. Moments later, the shot took effect, and Tony began to slow in his movements. Only a minute or two later, and he breathed deeply, his muscles relaxing.

Ducky and Jethro picked him up between them and carried him to Gibbs' bed in a fireman's hold. His head lolled to the side, his eyes were partially closed. Gibbs pulled the blankets over him and looked to Ducky as he sat by Tony. He wasn't going to leave the young man. Not if he didn't have to.

Ducky eyed Jethro for a moment before starting to speak quietly.

"He's in a severe state of shock, Jethro. I had known that he was abused, after all, his ribcage was damaged well before his college ball years." He inhaled deeply. "I was not aware of the level of abuse." Jethro met his eyes. "He will be requiring extensive mental and emotional care, Jethro."

"What can I do?"

"Let me make some calls." Ducky paused, not wanting to say what needed to come next. "Jethro, this will severely affect his ability to do his job. I will have to inform the Director." Gibbs clenched his fists.

"No, Duck. Not yet." His eyes pleaded with the older man. Ducky had only seen that look one time before. It was several years ago, when Gibbs had shared the memory of his family with the ME during a drunken rant. His eyes had taken on this same emotion as he told Ducky of how he'd begged for it to be false news.

"He's reliving his past, Duck. He can't lose his present and future, too. It's what's kept him sane all of these years." Gibbs voice broke. "And it's my fault. I'm the one who caused this." His voice was so low Ducky nearly missed it.

"You are not, Leroy Jethro Gibbs, the only one to have hurt this young man! His father, his mother, they all had their parts. You simply acted in a way to allow this to come forward in his subconscious. Who knows what else is buried within him that will come up, possibly destroying him? How much has he endured? How much more can he take? We cannot know."

"You're right, Duck. We can't." Gibbs met his eyes. "But we can give him a chance. Please?" Ducky had never heard his friend utter that word before. He commanded, he demanded, but he never requested. The please got him. He nodded.

"Yes, we can, for a time." He drew in another deep breath. "But I need for you to understand, Jethro, that he is having delayed reactions to the trauma of his past. He may never recover from the latent onset of PTSD. If you don't want this to go in as the mental time he needs, I need some other reason." As if in response to his speech, Tony began to wheeze.

Seconds later, Tony was in a full-blown asthma attack. Jethro called for an ambulance while Ducky searched Tony's pockets for his inhaler. He found it and administered two puffs, one minute apart. Tony still wheezed, his lips turning a sickly bluish-gray.

The paramedics arrived and started Tony on oxygen, getting his inhaler from Ducky. The ME and Gibbs followed them to the hospital. Tony was immediately given prednisone and started on a nebulizer treatment of albuterol through a face mask.

An oxygen sensor read his O2 level at only 74%. He was given a second treatment, during which his oxygen saturation rose to a slightly healthier 88%. It was still well below the level that required medical treatment. Ducky had been filling the doctor in on Tony's history.

"Pneumonic plague? Are you serious?" The doctor's eyes bugged.

"Yes, pneumonic plague. He has horrible scarring, but is physically active. He has been under emotional strain the past few hours, which…"

"Could be the cause of this attack." Ducky nodded his agreement.

"He was sleeping late following an emotional night, when he had a nightmare, which set off a flashback to a traumatic event." The younger doctor nodded. He had a direction to head in now.

They kept Tony on oxygen for an hour, waiting to see if the albuterol and prednisone would bring his O2 levels back up. They were edging toward acceptable levels, but he was still sitting at 90% oxygenation, which would have required medical attention on a good day.

Another treatment was ordered, and he breathed deeply, the medicine finally making it into his bronchial tubes. His levels rose, but the doctor was rightfully concerned. He wanted Tony to stay overnight, and Gibbs for once agreed with a doctor. Tony glowered, but Jethro held firm.

"Tony, your levels were low. Low enough to scare me. You turned blue, Tony. Blue." Gibbs stood next to Tony's bed, his knuckles turning white as he gripped the rail.

"Boss?" Tony's voice was still quiet and breathy. "Happened?"

"Do you remember having a nightmare, Tony?" Jethro kept his voice calm. Tony shook his head, but then furrowed his brow. Pain crossed his features, and his breathing quickened.

"Tony, stay with me, bud." Jethro stroked his hair, making eye contact with his son. "Stay with me."

Tony fought down the panic he felt rising in his chest. A monitor blared, and a nurse rushed in. She glared at Gibbs, pushing the button to make the sound shut off while she made a note and left to get the doctor again. He came and checked on Tony, ordered yet another treatment, and motioned Gibbs to follow him.

"I need to understand what's going on, Agent Gibbs. What upset him so badly? If he is reacting to you like this, I will ban you from him until he's stable."

Gibbs sighed and ran his hands through his hair. He was so upset, he didn't even tell the doctor to not call him Agent or Sir. He drew in a deep breath, considering his words. Words he didn't want to come out wrong. Tony's future could depend on them.

"I screwed up last night. Went out on a date, didn't tell the kids what I was doing, and I told him I'd be home." The doctor's eyes narrowed.

"You and he are…"

"He's my son." Gibbs glared at the younger man. "I had a date. I told Tony I'd be home. I wasn't. I didn't answer my phone." The doctor still didn't understand why this was important. Gibbs growled in irritation. "He went looking for me, and it reminded him of the night Jenny died."

"And Jenny was?"

"Let's call her his mom, like I'm his dad. Not biological, but how it is." The doctor nodded as if he understood. He wasn't sure that he did. "He couldn't find her, she didn't answer her phone. The situation last night reminded him of that."

"And the nightmare of earlier today?" Gibbs looked away.

"I need to know, because if it's the same thing, and seeing you is setting it off, I need to know."

"It's not me." Gibbs sighed. He really didn't want to go into this. "His birth mother died when he was young." Jethro met the younger man's eyes. "He was the one to find her. He dreamed of her. Saw her body in his dream." The doctor nodded.

"So you were keeping him grounded to the best of your ability." Gibbs nodded. "I'll let you stay, but I will be keeping him under observation for at least 24 hours. If this continues or worsens, I will have to talk to his primary doctor about extended psychiatric care."

"I know." Gibbs voice was quiet. "Ducky already explained it to me. He's had an emotional flashback."

"Yes, it seems so. I'll treat the physical, and discuss the mental with Dr. Mallard."

Gibbs nodded, knowing some of it was unfortunately out of his hands. He knew he could trust Ducky, but his gut churned. He didn't know this new doctor. Young kid, kind of jumpy. Made him nervous.

Tony eyed him, asking with his eyes what was going on.

"They're concerned that you're having troubles still, and after the scare with the plague," he shrugged, "The scars and all, you know." Tony nodded, raising his brows, an unspoken request to continue. "They're gonna keep you here for a day or two. Your oxygen levels were really low."

He put his hand on Tony's head stroked his hair. The younger agent fairly melted under the touch. His eyes closed, and he relaxed. Unknown to either man, the doctor stood in the door and watched. He wanted to be sure Gibbs was telling the truth about the situation.

"Do you want me to stay?" Tony nodded, his eyes filling with tears. The doctor walked away. He needed to find Dr. Mallard and begin discussing this case. He wanted to know everything he needed to know so he could correctly and fully treat this man. He was stopped by one of his colleagues.

"Dr. Cooper!" Brad smiled at the young man. "I hear you have one of my best paying patients here tonight." Brad flipped through a chart. He looked up into the confused younger man's face.

"Tony DiNozzo. Gibbs is with him, I assume?" Cooper nodded and Brad chuckled. "It's hard to keep them apart. Even when one is in isolation. Believe me, though. Gibbs is the best thing that ever happened to Tony."

"Mr. DiNozzo's had a severe asthma attack following two days of emotional strain." Brad's smile faded. He crossed his arms, waiting. "Apparently, he's had an emotional flashback to when someone named Jenny died…" Brad jogged down the hall before Cooper could continue.

He knew exactly who Jenny was. And how it had affected Tony in ways his team didn't know. After all, he had been the one to play basket ball with Tony after his rounds nearly every night for a month. He'd seen the courageous young agent blame himself, become angry, work through his anger, hide his pain, and slip back into a mask that the doctor knew would crack wide open one day. Today was apparently that day.

While Dr. Cooper learned that Dr. Pitt had already found Tony a room, Brad stood talking with the father-son pair before him. He let them know he was taking Tony's case over from Dr. Cooper, and Gibbs felt his gut relax. Dr. Pitt was good at making Tony well, keeping him in work, and being discrete if he needed to.

A room was finally ready, and with Ducky chatting with Brad, Gibbs walking by Tony, his hand on the younger man's arm, they made their way from the ER to a bed on the third floor, in ICU. For the next 24 to 48 hours, his lungs would demand faster attention than he'd get on a regular floor.

While Tony was settled in, Gibbs set about making calls that would have his family upset again. So much for a peaceful Saturday. Hopefully they could still have lunch on Sunday. If nothing else, they could lunch together here at the hospital. The rest of the kids would probably be here later, anyway.


	22. Tony's Troubles Continue

Disclaimer: Would love to say I own it, but alas, that would be a lie.

Note: Still AU, and still OOC

THANKS Headbanger Rockstar! You caught all of my typo's once again! Ptbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb!

Gibbs placed his first phone call of the afternoon to Ziva. She listened quietly, not saying a word while her dad explained Tony's condition. She asked his room number, and then hung up without asking Gibbs how he was. His fist clenched. If Ziva was this angry with him, what was Abby going to do?

Abby and Tim were the next call. Thankfully, Abby was in the shower (something about LJ and oatmeal), so Gibbs explained to Tim. The young man said he'd call Ziva and find a sitter. He was agitated, something Gibbs knew could be good or bad. He could be worried about Tony, or he could be pissed, or both. Gibbs was guessing both.

He looked at his phone again, scrolling through to Fornell. He could always count on Tobias. Rethinking that, he snapped his phone shut. Ducky was still discussing with Pitt, and they were shooting him not so nice looks from where they stood over Tony, reading monitors and checking levels. He could call his dad, but he'd be castigated for making the elderly man's children cry. He'd turned 75 not long ago, and reveled in having great-grandchildren. Tony was his favorite.

Lydia. He'd only talked with her over the phone a few times. They'd had a great time at dinner the night before. He could be open with her. She was open with him. He could talk to her. He paused. He wondered how angry she'd be with him. She knew everything. She knew about Shannon and Kelly, the three ex-wives, she knew about Jenny, and she knew he'd broken his own rules. He suddenly found he didn't care. He wanted to hear her voice. Even if she was mad at him, he wanted her to talk to.

He dialed her number, and waited through four rings. She picked up, her voice groggy. Damn. She'd been asleep. She was really gonna be mad now.

"Lydia?" He was unprepared for the way his voice cracked.

"Jethro? What's wrong?" She sat up in bed, clutching the phone to her ear. "Why are you calling me instead of spending time with Tony?"

"Tony," Jethro swallowed hard. "He, um. He had a nightmare. I sent him up to sleep in my room. He woke up, we talked a little, Ziva left, he went up, I went down to my boat." Gibbs gathered himself, aware that for the first time since his girls had passed, he was rambling.

"Jethro, where is Tony?" Her voice was calm. Calmer than he wanted it to be. He suddenly felt like fighting. A good fight would make everything better. He quashed the urge with a few deep breaths.

"We're at the hospital. He had a nightmare, this time about his mom."

"Jenny?"

"No, his birth mom." He shuddered. "He woke up screaming, throwing up. Begging his father to not beat him. Promising that he'd not killed her." Lydia's sharp gasp slowed his words down a bit. "He had an asthma attack."

"Where are you?"

"Bethesda. ICU." There was a beat, then he could hear fabric rustling.

"I'm on my way."

Meanwhile, Tim was busy talking his wife out of a full-on Gibbs-rage, while talking to Ziva about whether it was better to have the sitter keep their children at the McGee's house, or Ziva's apartment. Ziva's place won out when she used the argument that Oded knew his way around their house, and she would be worried for him if he were somewhere unfamiliar. After all, he had only been walking a short while. While he loved the McGee house, and how it smelled, and LJ's toys, he needed the comfort of his own surroundings.

"We'll be there as soon as Julie gets here."

"You trust this Julie?"

"We've had her watch LJ several times, she's good. And she's gonna bring along a friend to help."

"Two teenage girls watching our children while we are at hospital with our brother?"

"They'll be fine, Ziva. Trust me. Kids have to be certified these days. They'll be fine. One baby, one girl. It's a good, safe ratio." Ziva was silent. "Do you trust us, Ziva? Do you trust us to keep Oded safe?"

"Yes, Tim." She sighed. She had not thought of her reluctance in that way. Of course she trusted Tim and Abby to take care of Oded, and they would be entrusting their own son to the same teenagers. "I'll be ready to go soon." They ended their call, Abby still griping in the background of all the horrible things she was planning to do to their dad. Her list was extensive.

Lydia found her way to Tony's room and took in the sight of Gibbs. He stood over Tony, one hand on the railing while the other petted the younger man's hair. The stress he felt radiated from him, his posture stiff, his shoulders squared, his features stony. He was not going to be able to help Tony like this. Lydia shook her head. Men and their emotional constipation.

"Hey." She greeted him softly. He had looked up as she walked in the door.

"Hey." He held a hand out to her, and she took it, grasping his fingers tightly for a moment before letting go. He turned back to Tony, expecting to have her start in on him. He was surprised when her arm snaked around his shoulders.

"You're too tense, Jethro." Her words were quiet. She rubbed his shoulder gently as she spoke. "Come on. Let's go to the hall."

"I'm not leaving him." His eyes flashed as he looked at her defiantly.

"I'm not asking you to leave him. I'm telling you that you called me. I'm telling you that your leaking tension so much it nearly knocked me down as I stood in the hall. I'm telling you I'm going to drag you into the hall, just outside of his door, if you don't willingly come." His eyes narrowed as she spoke.

"You would, too. Wouldn't you." He finally smirked.

"Damn straight. I'm a friend. Nothing more. I'm allowed to be a bitch with attitude when I wanna be." He nodded and headed into the hall, stopping at the door to look back to where Lydia was whispering something to Tony. He wished he could hear it.

_Don't worry, Tony. I'll get his head out of his ass. Your dad loves you. Just doesn't show it very well. Relax, and we'll be back soon. Rest, honey. You need it._

Tim mimicked Gibbs driving for the first time in his life once the three adults were on their way to the hospital.. Ziva nodded her approval and Abby turned green.

Brad gave the ok for all three of them to go in to see Tony. He just asked that they be sort of quiet. The head nurse glared at him, but he shrugged as they passed.

"I had to keep them out of isolation when he had the plague a few years ago. Trust me. Let them in. You'll live longer and happier." She looked at the retreating doctor in confusion. Sometimes the man made no sense. None at all.

Lydia followed Gibbs a minute later, after looking over his chart. Her late husband had been a pulmonologist, and a good one before he gave it all up for a drug addiction. She'd transcribed his recorded notes for years, and later became his nurse. She'd married him not long after that, a decision she'd nearly backed out of, but didn't want to be labeled as his new excuse for a habit she'd just found out about.

Jethro stood in the hall, his arms clenched tight across his chest. He allowed the pain he felt to show on his face, his eyes brimming with tears that refused to fall. He waited for her to speak. She waited a few moments to see if he'd loosen up, but he didn't. So she went straight to the heart of it.

"Now is not the time for self-pity, Jethro." Lydia stood toe to toe with him. "You screwed up. I know it's not entirely your fault, that his mother dying was not your fault, and that Jenny pulling her crap on the day she died is not your fault, either. Her eyes hardened, and the "kids" watched in fascination as Gibbs actually seemed to shrink. "You have rules for a reason, Leroy Jethro Gibbs."

"I know." His voice was barely above a whisper, and it wavered with tears. He looked at the lady before him, pain in his eyes. "I told you I wasn't any good with this. Not even with my own children." She stepped forward and wrapped him in a gentle embrace.

"It's not that you're bad at this, Jethro," The three younger un-Gibbs all crept closer to hear what she had to say. "It's that you all act like we're under your command. She backed up and looked him in the eye again. "You're a Marine. I get that. Your children aren't. I'm not. We don't follow orders. And when there's rules, you have to follow them, too. As dad and boss, you have to follow your own rules. Especially as Dad."

He leaned back in to her, the two holding one another. She continued for just a moment. "You've told them you're sorry. Now it's time to start making it right. And only you can do that."

"I don't know how." She scoffed at that comment.

"What would you have done with Kelly?" The three kids looked at one another in shock. _She knows about Shannon and Kelly?_

"I'd hold her, and tell her where I went wrong, and ask what I needed to do to fix it."

"And what makes your other children any different?" He suddenly saw things from a different angle, and he wept. He held Lydia close, using her as the anchor she allowed herself to be.

She looked up from his grasp and saw his children. She smiled to them and motioned with her head for them to come over. They heard her whispered, "They're here, Jethro. Pull yourself together."

He stood straight and wiped his face. His back began to tense as he took in their expressions. Abby, as usual, spoke without thinking.

"Is this her, Gibbs?" Her voice was quiet, but conveyed all the anger she felt. Lydia tried hard to not take it personal. She liked the younger woman's style, if not her choice of words.

"This is Lydia." He opened his arms for a hug, but Abby held back. Ziva accepted a slight embrace, before backing off. Tim shook his hand, looking nervously over at his wife.

"Why is she here?"

"I asked her to come." He shrugged. "I needed someone to talk to. I'm allowed." He was getting angry back, never a good thing. Not in his current mood. Lydia stepped forward and held out her hand.

"I'm sorry to meet you like this. Believe me, I heard all about the four of you and your beautiful children." Her eyes smiled. "It's a pleasure to meet Jethro's family." Tim and Ziva both shook her hand, Abby finally gave in, but looked mutinous. Tony was hurt because Gibbs broke the rules with her.

"I'm not mad at you." She looked pointedly at Lydia. "I'm furious with him. Did he tell you that night about the rules? Did he tell you that night about Jenny? How she was Mommy? Did he tell you then about his first family?" She glared at her dad.

"Yes, he did. Some of it he told me about after we arrived at his house and Tony was there." Abby threw up her hands, disbelief written on her face.

"So this is how you're gonna go about this, Gibbs?" She walked to him and punched his arm. It wasn't hard, and he knew he deserved it, but usually she was done ranting when she hit him. It was a final "bite me." Not so this time. She opened her mouth to continue.

"Excuse me." Lydia stared the younger woman down with a feminine version of the Gibbs glare. Abby looked down at her feet. "He's beating himself up enough without you adding bruises to it." Abby felt tears welling in her eyes.

"I'm sorry, Dad." He held out his arm, and she walked to him again, this time cuddling into his chest. "I'm so sorry. I'm so scared, and I'm mad at you for breaking the rules, and…" she broke off in a sob.

"I know." He kissed the top of her head and looked to his other two children. "I messed up. It won't happen again." Tim and Ziva nodded, accepting his apology.

"Lydia and I are just friends, guys. We're gonna stay just friends. We've talked about it. I'm not good with relationships. 3 ex-wives and Jenny to prove it." He cleared his throat and looked to her, Lydia nodding approval. "She's been on the end of another bastard like me, and isn't interested in dating. Especially not someone like me."

"So no new step-monster that we'll learn to tolerate before she takes a baseball bat to your head?" Lydia chuckled at Tim's question.

"No. And it was a golf club, Tim. A golf club." He stood rocking Abby slightly for another moment before releasing his hold. He nodded toward Tony and motioned for them to go in.

They did, walking to his bed, whispering so loudly among themselves that had he not been sound asleep, he would have woken. Jethro watched from the hall, knowing that Lydia was still there behind him. He turned to see her with tears in her eyes.

"Hey. Why you crying now?" His voice was tender as he gathered her in a hug. He wondered when he'd become such a tactile person. It had to be those grandbabies.

"You with your kids, Jethro." She chuckled. "Hard ass, my ass." He chuckled. His eyes opened in surprise when he felt her fingers dip into his front pocket. He looked down as she pulled out his cell phone.

"You need to call someone, Jethro." He shook his head. Not right now. "Call his Grandpa. Grandpa Gibbs." Her eyes hardened as he started to refuse again. "How would you feel if it was LJ or Oded and you didn't get called for fear of what you'd say?" He snatched the phone out of her hand and dialed.


	23. Grandpa Jack Comes

Disclaimer: Don't own it.

Note: thanks to Headbanger Rockstar for being my beta! ptbbbbbbbbbbbbb! love ya!

Note: mentions of self harm, child abuse, family trouble. No flames, please. Don't like, don't read. Thanks.

"Dad?" Jackson Gibbs stopped in his tracks when he heard Leroy call him Dad. Something was wrong. The word choice. The tone of voice.

"Leroy? What's wrong?" Jack didn't care who was in the store right now. He'd take a personal call.

"Dad, it's Tony." Gibbs' voice broke. He drew in a deep breath before continuing. "I screwed up, Dad. I screwed up." He suddenly found that he wasn't able to go on. The weight of what his son was going through slammed into him with a force he'd not expected, especially once he thought of how he'd react if it were LJ or Oded lying in there.

Jethro sat down hard on a chair, and Lydia took the phone from him. She cleared her throat.

"Hello, my name is Lydia, and I'm a friend of your family's."

"Lydia." Jackson tried to keep his voice calm as he motioned to his stock boy to clean up. He was shutting down the store.

"I'm sorry, but Tony has had a severe asthma attack, and Jethro would like for you to come to D.C."

"Of course. I'll be there as soon as I can be." He cleared his throat, afraid to ask, but he had to. "Is he going to make it, or is it, you know, really bad."

"He'll be fine in a few days, Mr. Gibbs. Your son and his family need to have you near, especially for support." He nodded, not even thinking about how she couldn't see his head.

"Just let me close up, and I'll be on the road."

#####

Three hours later, Jackson walked into Tony's room. Lydia had just had Jethro take a walk for coffee. He needed a change of scenery, whether he knew it or not. He'd grumbled, but had gone.

Tony was awake now, but couldn't be bothered to open his eyes. Opening his eyes would mean he'd have to interact with people. And that was just not something he wanted to do. Not even for a drink for his parched throat.

"Hi. I'm Jackson." She smiled in relief. Jethro would be so relieved.

"I'm Lydia."

"Leroy's new girlfriend?" She nearly laughed. How many times had she answered that question now?

"No. Just a friend." Jackson nodded. There was hope for this one, then.

"So what exactly happened, and not my son's version. In his version, everything is his fault."

"Well, this time he's sort of right in that." Lydia went on to explain everything, from his dishonesty regarding his plans, his not answering his phone, and then Tony's reactions.

Tony winced inwardly as he listened to the account. He'd done far worse than he realized. He fought the urge to cry at his actions, especially when he remembered his nightmare. Why had he dreamed of her? And what had he said to make Gibbs that upset? He couldn't remember any of that. Only that he'd dreamed of her. And then been ridiculous afterwards.

Jackson listened silently, watching the young man on the bed. Tony wasn't fooling the older man. He knew what it looked like when someone played possum. And Tony was playing possum. Jack decided he'd deal with this one later. Tony wasn't ready for anything. And he'd not rat the younger man out. He saw the tension creep into Tony's face and wondered what to do. Rat him out, or give him space.

He eventually went to Tony, running his hands over Tony's hair in a way that he already knew settled the younger man. He sighed, wondering how to help his family through this. Jethro already knew he was wrong. Telling him wasn't going to do anything but separate them again. Jack was glad when he saw and felt signs of Tony relaxing.

She hoped Jackson was as reasonable as he seemed. Jethro may not survive another tongue lashing. He was beating himself up quite well as it was. Abby's words had cut him deeper than he'd admit, and Lydia wondered how much more the man could take.

She was concerned several minutes later when he asked where Leroy was. She told him, and Jackson left without another word. Perhaps he wasn't going to be as reasonable as she hoped.

#####

Jethro took a few extra minutes to pull himself together, sitting on a bench just outside of the door. He'd just gotten back from his walk to Starbucks. A car that he thought might be his father's was now in the lot. He needed to steel himself for another tongue lashing. One he most certainly deserved.

Gibbs saw his dad approaching at a brisk walk, and steeled himself. That serious look and fast gait could only mean one thing. Jackson Gibbs was pissed.

Jackson saw his son stand, and watched his boy draw strength into himself, like he was pulling it out of the air. When Lydia said he'd been beating himself up, she wasn't kidding. He looked ready for a beating from anyone who would give it. But he was gonna hold on to his pride in the meantime.

Jackson came to a halt before his son, wanting to gather his boy close. But he knew Leroy wouldn't allow it. Not yet, at least. The two men eyeballed one another, each wondering if the other would speak first.

Leroy's throat worked, and Jackson watched his son swallow, probably trying to clear his emotions. The older Gibbs beat him to the punch.

"How are you, Leroy? You look tired. Have you eaten?" At his father's non-accusatory words, Gibbs felt his walls crumble. His eyes filled against his will. His shoulders slumped without his permission.

His dad took a step closer, and Jethro found himself encased in his father's arms. He drew in a deep ragged breath, thinking he was going to speak, but what came out was closer to a sob. He let himself lean into the embrace, feeling a weight lifting from him as his tears fell.

McGee had returned from taking the girls home, and had just gotten back. He started to approach, wanting to say hello, but decided against it when he saw Gibbs all but collapse on his dad. Gibbs needed to get it out. Needed to forgive himself. If anyone could help him right now, it was Grandpa Jack.

Gibbs finally got himself under control and looked at Jackson, as if expecting to be yelled at. Jack sighed.

"You already know where you went wrong." Gibbs nodded. "And you've already apologized." Another nod was the response. "So I'll not add to that." Leroy looked sharply at his dad.

Jackson smirked, and Gibbs relaxed. His dad wasn't going to yell.

"You've been in to see him?"

"Yeah. He looks better than I expected after the scare you gave me over the phone." His voice was teasing.

"Sorry about that."

"No, you're not." Jack sighed. "Thanks for calling. For letting me know."

"You're welcome." The two sat in silence, just letting the soft breeze that had started up cool them down.

"Lydia's idea?"

"Hmmm?"

"To call me."

"Yeah." Gibbs let a half smile grace his face. "Wasn't going to. She asked me what I'd feel like if it was me and one of the babies." Jackson laughed.

"She may be just a friend, but she's a keeper." Gibbs only response was to take a sip of his coffee.

####

Tim entered Tony's room and nodded to Lydia. He went to Tony and spoke softly. The older agent was awake, and motioned to Tim to pass him his cup. His mouth was too dry to talk.

Lydia felt embarrassed. She'd been sitting here for nearly 20 minutes, just Tony and her, and didn't realize he was awake. Tim saw through him in a moment. She'd told Jethro she'd watch him, and yet she wasn't even aware he was awake.

"It's gonna be ok, Tony." He smiled. "Grandpa's out there pulling Dad's head out of his butt." Lydia's eyes flew to Tim, wide with concern. Tim just kept talking like he hadn't noticed.

"I have no idea what Grandpa said, but Dad was crying and leaning on him. Looked like Grandpa had him in one heck of a hug. You know what Grandpa Jack's hugs are like." Tony smiled and nodded, swallowed more water, and finally spoke.

"Yeah, and if anybody can get him to stop beating himself up, it'll be Grandpa Jack."

"Exactly." Tony fell back to sleep, this time a less haunted expression on his face.

Tim stayed at his side until he was asleep. He watched his big brother, wondering how he could ever help. He loved Tony. Loved him, well, like a brother. But his life, even the day before they met, was a closed book with occasional glimpses.

"Hey." Tim finally sat next to Lydia and smiled to her. His brow quirked up. "What?"

"I didn't realize he was awake."

"Oh, don't worry about it. He's the King of Possum Players." Tim's smile was genuine, and Lydia relaxed. "I've known him for years. That's how I knew he was awake." Tim chuckled. "Ok, that and he can't hold still completely when he's awake, and his big toe was wiggling." Lydia chuckled.

"Ok, so I'll know to look for a wiggling toe."

"Yeah, just don't tell him about it. He knows what gives him away, and he'll concentrate on not doing it."

"Really? He's that good?"

"Oh, yeah." Tim chuckled. "The first time, I tiptoed all around for almost two hours, and Gibbs came walking in, talking loud, and walks over, telling Tony to stop playing and get up."

"He didn't."

"Oh yes he did." Tim grinned. "Tony sat up and started to tease me for being so easy to play."

The two sat talking and getting to know one another, not realizing how long the Gibbs men were gone.

#####

"So what are you going to do?" Jackson looked over to his son, who reluctantly sat with a basket of chicken tenders and fries before him. Eating was not on Jethro's priority list, but Jack insisted.

"I don't know, Jack." He took a sip of coffee and picked up a tender. "I have no idea of what happened to him after his mom…" He trailed off. Jack just waited while Jethro took a bite, slowly chewed, and tried to not think about what was racing through his mind. He finally gave in and spoke again.

"He was begging his mom to not kill herself, Jack. To kill him instead. That everything would be ok for her if he died." Jethro's voice choked, and he felt his eyes fill again. What the hell was up with these tears?

Jack just sat in stunned silence. The kid was remembering things from childhood? And begging to be killed instead of his mom? This was worse than he'd imagined.


	24. Tony Talks

Disclaimer: Still don't own NCIS

WARNING! Disturbing imagery, mentions of suicide, child abuse, and basic terror. WARNING!

Note: Thanks again to Headbanger Rockstar. Ptbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb!

Jackson Gibbs was no psychiatrist. He knew very little about the human mind. But he'd listened to people his whole life. He knew when someone needed to talk. When someone needed an ear. Tony was that someone now.

He watched Tony from the corner of his eye. The younger man turned in the bed, looked around the room in boredom, switch the TV on and off, anything but look at the older man who sat doing a crossword puzzle. Tony sat up once, but then lowered the bed almost immediately again. He took a drink of the warm water in his cup, made a face, and put the cup back down.

Jackson refilled it without asking if he wanted it done. It was icy and fresh when Jackson handed it back. Tony drank after nodding his thanks. Jackson knew he could talk. He just didn't want to. And for someone as addicted to talking as Tony, that concerned the old man.

#####

Jethro had gone home for a shower, under orders from Brad that if he didn't, he'd put a ban on Gibbs visiting for a whole day. And he'd been serious. So he left, grumbling the entire way. Lydia had driven him home, calling Tim on the way so that the younger man and his wife could meet them at Gibbs house and actually ensure the older man slept.

Much to Tim's surprise, he'd had to shake his boss awake when Lydia pulled into the drive. He looked questioningly at the older woman. She shrugged.

"He's been beating himself up. Hasn't been to sleep since he got up for work on Friday." Tim's eyes widened. He was sure his boss hadn't slept much Thursday night, either.

"Not at all?"

"Nope. I went home for a few hours after Jackson arrived, and I was hoping he'd calm down once his dad was there." She shook her head. "When Jackson and I went for breakfast, he told me that Jethro hadn't slept at all."

"But it's Sunday."

"I know." Lydia looked at Tim like he was a moron. "Nobody could get him to sleep, so the doctor told him to go, or he'd be banned from the hospital."

"And he came home?" Lydia smirked at Tim's look of amazement.

"Yeah. He couldn't argue against me, his dad, the doctor, and about 20 irritated nurses." That brought a smile to Tim's face. He could picture the nurses gathering at their station to cheer after he was gone.

"Ok, well, let's get him inside." Tim shook his shoulder harder, and Gibbs jerked awake. He looked up to Tim in confusion, then at his house, and nodded.

Gibbs yawned, stretched and finally stood. He glowered at Lydia. She'd driven his car. After insisting that he turn over his keys. Pushy bitch.

Gibbs fairly stumbled up his porch steps, Tim right behind. Lydia waited until he was safely by the door before coming. Gibbs opened his front door and dropped his wallet and keys in their proper spot. He took off his jacket and dumped it unceremoniously by the closet. It took too much effort to hang it. Then he was up the stairs, his door slamming behind him.

"Hey!" Abby came out of the kitchen. "Where'd he go? I've got breakfast on the table."

"Forget it for now, Abs." Tim sighed. "He's pissed."

"Why?" Her eyes narrowed and she glared at the only possible cause, Lydia.

"He was falling asleep, so I demanded his keys, and I drove him home."

"Gibbs never falls asleep until he's ready to." Abby's nostrils flared. Tim stepped in.

"I had to shake him awake, Abby." He gently tapped her head. "Lydia did the right thing. Now, does breakfast include all of us, or just him?"

"There's plenty for all of us." She looked at Lydia and hugged herself tightly, her eyes downcast. She hated apologies. Especially when she had just yelled at someone who helped her dad. Silence reigned for another minute while she went through everything she wanted to say. And what she should stick with.

"I'm sorry." That was a beginning. She took a deep breath and met green eyes that she expected to see hurt or anger in. Not the understanding and compassion that were there. "I'm not always nice. I can be a total brat." _Great. That's not how it was meant to come out._ "I just get really worried for Tony and Gibbs. They've not…" Lydia held up her hand. Abby silenced. A held up hand never meant anything good.

"Abby, let's go sit for a minute, ok?" Lydia held out her hand and led Abby to the couch. She sat them close to one another, making Abby wonder what had happened that she was going along.

Lydia thought for a moment, looking somewhere off in a distance that didn't quite exist in the living room. Abby just watched her, not sure if she were in for a tongue lashing, or just a talking-to. She deserved either, and she knew it. Especially for going off on Gibbs like she had in the hospital. And over the phone.

"Abby?" Lydia finally spoke.

"Yeah?"

"You love Gibbs and Tony, right?"

"So much." Her voice broke. "And when they get hurt…"

"When Tony gets hurt, you get mad at Gibbs, and when Gibbs gets hurt…"

"I get mad at everybody." Abby's answer was nearly a whisper. Lydia put her arm around the younger woman and pulled her into a half hug.

"So why don't you tell me how you feel? Don't get mad, don't lay blame. Just tell me." Tears ran down Abby's cheeks.

"I'm scared."

"Why are you scared?"

"If something happens to Tony, Gibbs will, he'll…"

"He'll what, Abby?"

"He'll shut down again. He'll crawl back into his boat, or his bourbon, or some soon-to-be ex-wife to feel like he's alive again. Like he has some purpose."

"You don't think you, and LJ, and Tim, and Ziva and Oded give him that?"

"But Tony's different." Abby wasn't sure she could explain it.

"How, Abby?" Lydia's voice was still gentle. "How is he different?"

"Everybody says that I'm his favorite, right?" Lydia smiled and nodded. She'd heard that even from the younger woman's husband. "But Tony is his boy. Not like some weird thing, but Tony is his son. In every way. He lives for Tony, and Tony lives for his approval.

"When Tony was sick the first time, he stayed there, even going into quarantine when he wasn't suited up for it to talk to him when Tony was giving up. Tony's alive because of Gibbs, and Gibbs is alive because of Tony. They're like, I don't know, symbiotic."

"And so why are you so angry with Gibbs this time?"

"Because he hurt Tony." Lydia looked sharply at her, and Abby sighed. "He hurt us all, Lydia." Her words started to come faster and faster.

"He screwed around with Hollis Mann." Abby stood and started pacing. "We won't even talk about what he went through when they were over. His ex-wives. I mean, seriously. All three of them! He was a mess after every one of them!

"And then there's the great moves that never got he and Mommy back together." Lydia smirked. Jethro had been right when he described her as a tornado. "Not to mention that he has these rules, and we all live by them, it's like the code of our existence, and he just… he just…"

"He ignored them for someone that isn't part of your family." Lydia's words were quiet, but they reached straight to Abby's heart and mind, bringing her to tears.

"I'm so sorry." She started to cry, and Lydia rose to hold her.

"It's ok, Abby. You're allowed to be upset." Abby started to pull away and looked at the woman her dad had broken the rules for.

"You're ok with me being upset?"

"Yes. I understand it. I can't say that I like having you mad at me." Lydia shrugged. "But I understand it. The rules are important to your family." She sighed and took a breath, meeting the younger woman's eyes. "I'm going to be continuing a friendship with your dad, and I hope we can be friends, too." Then she chuckled. "What a terrible I'm-gonna-be-your-horrible-step-monster thing to say."

She started to laugh, and Abby joined in.

"I can't believe I just said that. Seriously, that's like a line from some bad remake of a failed fairy tale."

"Oh, you said it, alright." Abby chuckled and linked her arm in Lydia's. "What say we go have breakfast."

"Sounds good to me." She pulled Abby back and looked her in the eye once more. "But I do insist, as a friend to your father, that you talk to him today." Abby nodded and swallowed hard.

"What should I say?"

"How about you start with I'm sorry, then tell him all that you told me?"

"He's gonna tell me he doesn't have favorites." Lydia smirked. She'd not even respond to that.

####

Lunch arrived, and Tony pushed his meal of meatloaf, peas, carrots and recycled something around on his plate. Jackson had to agree that it looked pretty disgusting. Tony finally made his first sound of the day, a long drawn out sigh of pure irritation.

"What's up, Tony?" He nearly laughed at the rebellious look on Tony's face. The look was more of one that would belong to LJ or Oded in a few more months when they learned the word "no".

"You don't have to stay here. I can be on my own." He looked at his fidgeting fingers as he spoke.

"You're right." Jackson stood, and Tony's heart fell. He had wanted to test the older man, to have him say he wanted to stay. He tested, alright. He shut his eyes tight, so he wouldn't have to see him leave. "But I'm staying here."

Tony looked up in surprise, his eyes moist when he looked into his grandpa's face. This is what he'd longed for as a child. For people to care. Too bad it was over. People didn't really care, but it felt good, times like this, when he could pretend. He could pretend he was loved. That someone cared.

"What happened, Tony?" Jackson stroked his hair, and Tony wavered. He was afraid. If he told, if anyone knew about his mom. How she died to get away from him….

"Come on, son." Jackson kept asking, his voice low and quiet. "What's hurting you so bad, huh?" Tony took a deep breath, sure that this would get the man to leave him.

"She's dead because of me, Jack. They both are."

"Who, son. Who's dead because of you?" He never stopped running his fingers through Tony's hair.

"Mom and Jenny." Tony's eyes closed, and he began to breathe harshly.

"Let it out, son. Let it out." Jack kept talking to him, not letting Tony close himself off.

Within Tony, a battle raged. There was the need to protect himself. Then there was the need to let go of the pain. There was the hope that he could trust Jack to not hate him. However, that fought with the fear of being alone again. Of being a cast off in expensive clothes who would never know home. Never know peace. Never again have what he had now.

He opened his mouth to speak again, only words didn't come out. What came out was a low wail. He allowed himself to be pulled in to Jackson Gibbs' arms, his head held tightly against the man's heart.

Jack held his boy, rocking slowly, whispering softly in his ear sweet words of comfort. He listened with an aching heart as Tony's wails changed to words, whether it was intended or accidental.

"She hated me. Hated me." He gasped, his fingers digging painfully into Jackson's side. "So did he. She could have killed me and stayed alive. She could have. It would have been better if she had."

"No, son. She didn't have to choose." Jack's voice was quiet. "She didn't have to do that."

"No, you don't understand." Tony began to gag. Jack relaxed his hold and grabbed for a basin. He held it for the young man. When he was finished, Jack helped him to lay back on his bed. Tony grasped his hand and wouldn't let him go.

"Hey, I'm not going to leave you, Tony."

"Gotta tell you." Tony knew that now that he'd started, he had to finish. It was a burning need. It was as if a prisoner had been released within him and was running, screaming for the sunlight of freedom. And he needed to let it go before it killed him through suppression.

He looked up at Jack, expecting to see the revulsion he felt for himself mirrored in Jack's eyes. However, there was no anger, there was no hate. He did not see any signs of disgust. He saw his Grandpa. The love of his Grandpa shining through concern for _him._

Tony looked away, not sure if he could continue looking at Jack. He wanted to remember how the older man looked now, now how he'd look later. After he'd told about why his mother committed suicide. Jack would change. Jack would realize he was worthless. Just like his father had. Just like Gibbs had. Gibbs was gone. He'd already left.

Jack could see Tony closing down, getting lost in whatever terror he was reliving. He tapped the boy's head, and Tony looked at him, his eyes devoid of emotion. When he started to speak, it was as if he were telling the details of a case, not his own story.

"He never wanted children. He was angry when he found out she was pregnant. Then the baby was born. At least he had a son." Tony took a deep breath, seeming to gather his thoughts. His voice was taking on a wistful tone, as if he was telling a story now. However, he clung tighter to Jack's hand.

"When he was born, his father threw a party. It was the first disappointment. The baby cried the whole party." Tony shrugged. "He reminded me of it all the time. About how I never could do anything right. Not even as a baby."

"What happened, Tony?" Unknown to them, Ducky stood in the hall. He drew in a deep breath, deciding it would be an ethic worthy of breaking, and turned on the recorder he carried in his bag. Jethro needed to know this, and Tony should not have to retell it. Not yet, anyway. "What led to her killing herself?"

"Father gave her a choice." He shrugged. "He would divorce her, or she could get rid of me. Permanently." Jack drew in a deep breath. "She loved him. She really did. Even though he hit her and called her names. She'd always tell me about how he was a great man, and that I should be glad he was my father. I should be glad that he hit me, too. If he hit me and made me into a good man, it would all be worth it."

"If you were going to be worth it, why would he…"

"I wasn't getting better." Tony swallowed hard, his breath becoming labored. "I wet the bed, and I spilled my milk at dinner, and I tripped and skinned my knees." He shrugged, trying to calm himself, to make it seem like not such a big deal. "I was still a problem. I was still acting like a child."

"How old were you?" Jack's voice was thick with emotion. He couldn't imagine anyone doing this to their child. However, he read in the papers all the time of children beaten to death, or starved, or any other number of things he could never imagine doing.

"I was four." Tony shut his eyes and gripped Jack's hand to the point of pain. "She had the knife, Jack. She had it and was going to use it on me." His voice broke. "She should have, Grandpa. She was gonna kill me. She was gonna live. She was gonna be happy again."

"What happened, honey." Jack's voice was gentler and calmer than Tony ever imagined another voice could be.

"She cried." He took a deep breath and squeezed Jack's hand again. "She cried, and she told me that she couldn't do it. She said she was worthless. Like me. But at least I could have the badness beaten out of me. She was too old. Too dumb." He closed his eyes, and a palor crept over his features.

"Then she did it." He swallowed hard. "She made the first cut. And then the second. She made me leave, but I came back later. I was afraid to leave her alone. She was bleeding so bad." He stopped, his eyes darting side to side, his chest heaving. "Her eyes. Oh, God, her eyes." Tony broke down and wept, clinging to Jack like a lifeline. His voice lifted loud with sorrow.

Jack held him as he wept, letting the young man cling to him. He spoke comfort, rocking once again, rocking as if he held a child rather than a grown man.

Tony's breath began to hitch, and he struggled for breath. Alarms blazed, and Ducky ran in, not caring if Tony now knew he'd heard it all. He upped the oxygen flow and waited for the nurse he knew would be bringing another breathing treatment for his nephew.

Ducky got the mask around Tony's mouth and nose, letting Jack take his place once again at Tony's side. The aging ME stood on the other side of his nephew's bed, lending his support.

Tony began to breathe easier. Shame burned on his face, and he kept himself hidden against Jack. The older man had not pushed him away. Yet.

Tony eventually felt his body relaxing, and reluctantly laid back on his bed. He looked fearfully at Ducky. Tony was obviously expecting to be rejected out of hand. The young man was almost shocked when his friends were not only still in the room, but both had a hand on him.

He fell asleep when the sedative Dr. Pitt ordered had worked its way through his system. He struggled to stay awake, his eyes fighting their closure. If he went to sleep, the love surrounding him would be gone. He was sure the two men with him were here only until he slept, and then they would leave him. They always left. It was only a matter of time.

####

Ducky stepped into the hall after a short wordless conversation with Jack involving nods, held up phones, points, and a head shake. Jack stayed with his boy, refusing to leave Tony's side.

"Gibbs." The team leader sounded half asleep, and indeed he was.

"Your dad got him talking, Jethro. I'm on my way over. Get dressed, and have coffee ready." Once again, he surprised Gibbs by hanging up first.


	25. Gibbs Finds Out

Disclaimer: Don't own it.

Note: Thanks to Headbanger Rockstar for being my beta! Ptbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb!

Note: Disturbing imagery, warnings for child abuse, mental anguish No flames, please. Thanks

Gibbs sat at his table across from Ducky. The older man set his tape recorder in the center, telling Abby and McGee to please give them space. The younger two said that it was ok, they'd just go home. Gibbs bid them good bye, and waited. Waited for what, he didn't know. But he waited.

Finally Ducky spoke. The tension he felt leaked into his naturally calm voice. Tears filled his eyes.

"Tony has been through much more than we realized, Jethro."

"How bad is it, Duck?" Gibbs stared at his hands. Just what on earth had he done to his boy? By simply not telling him what he was doing. Where he was going. Who he would be with. Guilt ate at him.

Ducky pressed the play button, and Gibbs sat listening, his head bowed, his heart thumping painfully in his chest. He heard Tony talk about the ultimatum his father had issued. He heard the disconnect in his son's voice. The tape finished, and Jethro sat silently, anger festering in him.

He stood and paced, walking from one room to the next, and then back. He opened his mouth to speak, covered it with his hand, and continued pacing. Several rounds later, Ducky heard him shouting. The elderly doctor knew it was coming. Expected it. He was surprised it took this long to begin.

Jethro raged for nearly an hour. His anger at Anthony DiNozzo Sr. finally ending when Gibbs had broken a hand by attempting to slam it though the wall. Thankfully the wall itself would not require repair. He stared belligerently at the offending stud that had finally been his undoing. Of all the places to hit, it had to be right there. Right on a stud.

His knuckles were bloody from the short battle, and his fingers sat off to strange angles, as the bones in his palm were now cockeyed. Ducky fussed at him gently, cajoling Jethro out to his old Morgan.

Seven stitches and a cast later, Gibbs went back up to Tony's room, promising to be quiet and on his best behavior. Ducky went along to supervise, not really trusting Jethro. He was bound to say something to the boy, as painkillers were already loosening his tongue.

#####

Jackson had spent the past hour trying to get Tony to eat his dinner. The young man ate all of two bites before pushing it away in frustration. He could barely swallow.

Tony wanted to ask why Jackson was still there. That if he was to be left alone again, he'd rather everyone just leave now. And let him pick up the pieces. Alone. Gibbs was gone, so were Tim and Abby and Ziva. They didn't want to see him. Even Ducky had disappeared.

Tony could feel the will to live leaving him. He'd tried hard to be worthy of his life. He'd tried hard to make something of himself. But his father was right. He was a waste of breath. A mistake of nature. He didn't deserve to live. Not even his friends liked him. Let alone loved him.

He wallowed in silent agony, afraid that if he spoke again, it would be enough to send Jack running. He loved the old man. Tony'd even called him "Grandpa" once today, and Jack had just smiled at him and ran a wrinkled hand over his hair. He didn't want to lose this last connection.

####

Gibbs entered Tony's room at his usual quick pace. Tony's head shot up, and his eyes went wide. Gibbs had a cast on his hand.

"Case, Boss?" Tony's voice was quiet, yet it rang out in the room.

"No, son. No case." Gibbs drew in a deep breath. "I need to tell you some things."

Tony squeezed his eyes shut. Here it came. He was off the team. He was out of the family.

"Look at me, Tony." Gibbs voice was quiet, but it had a note of steel running through it. Tony looked up.

"I want you to know that no matter what that man who fathered you said, you are worth something. You're not a mistake, you're not worthless." Gibbs eyes were bright with unshed tears as he rose. He needed to be by his boy as he spoke.

"You're mine, Tony. You became mine the day you accepted the offer and moved here from Baltimore." Tony opened his mouth to speak, but Gibbs stopped him. "No, not yet, son." At the word son, Tony's eyes closed, almost in reverence.

"You were a friend first. Then, you were my son. You're still mine." He reached out and rubbed his thumb on Tony's temple, just as he had for Kelly years ago when she couldn't sleep. "I love you, whether I tell you that or not. You're important to me, and you always will be."

Tony couldn't fight the tears anymore. He heard in his mind his mothers voice telling him that with enough beatings he may grow up right. He heard his father tell him he was worthless. Those voices that had plagued him for years were being drowned out by the words of one man.

One man who had become a dad to him long after he'd reached adulthood. One man who was showing him how to be the man he wanted to be. One man who was currently stroking his temple, letting peace and comfort flow from that simple touch. One man who whispered "I love you, son," over and over again.

Tony wasn't sure when the words changed, but his body was relaxed, and he was finally resting peacefully. No pain. No headache. No harsh breathing or chest cramps. He was calm.

"We'll make it, Tony. We'll get through this. I don't know how, and I don't know what we need to do to help you heal, but we'll do it. We'll do it." Tony sighed and drifted off to sleep, one sentence ricocheting in his mind. Over and over, seeming to wash his broken heart.

"We'll make it, Tony."


	26. Getting Tony Home

Disclaimer: Don't own it.

Note: Thanks to Headbanger Rockstar, my fabulous beta! Love ya!

Note: Usual warning apply. Also, I am in the process of moving. I've got several chapter written ahead, many of which I've posted tonight. I will be updating as often as I can, as I have been staying several chapters ahead. Happy reading!

Tony was ready to come home. Sort of. He'd be released into Gibbs' care, but only if Gibbs could have someone with him 24/7. Ducky and Brad both insisted, and knowing how suicidal Tony had been since his memories surfaced, Gibbs had to agree.

Jack could stay for a week, but not much longer. He only had help at the store for that long. Then he'd have to go back for at least a few days to settle things and close down for a while.

Lydia stepped up and offered to help. She was willing to come during the days, if Jethro or someone else could come at night. So they made up the schedule, and Lydia got his room prepared.

He was coming home with a CPAP machine and oxygen for night, when his levels were dropping due to sleep apnea. His oxygen levels had dropped down to, at the lowest, 64 in his sleep. He needed to use a peak flow meter every few hours to ensure that his O2 levels were staying within normal range during the day. He would require a nebulizer treatment twice a day to begin with.

His lungs were, due to the scarring from the plague, taking the brunt of his bodies delayed reaction to his mind shutting out the horrors of his past. He was still struggling with believing that his family would want him near. He argued to just go home.

Gibbs wouldn't hear of it. He insisted that Tony come to his home. And had Tony not been so weak, he would have argued more. But he knew he couldn't really even stand. Not long enough to really even make a meal, or take a shower without needing help back to his bed after.

####

Gibbs drove slowly, as if he had the babies in his car. His dad smiled to himself, trying to refrain from making some sort of weird noise. Such as a chuckle. Now would be a bad time for a chuckle. Tony was staring out of his window, not seeming to realize that his dad was terribly worried about him.

It was quiet, more than usual. Ducky followed them, Lydia riding along with him. The two medical professionals discussed Tony's needs, having decided that the troubled young man didn't need to hear all that was said, or to have a choice in some things. Such as whether or not he saw a therapist.

Tony was adamant that he not see a therapist. He'd been fine for years without one. He just needed time to get his head on straight. And then he'd be fine. He just needed time.

####

Gibbs carried Tony's bag into his new room, setting it beside the dresser. The younger man walked slowly behind, clearly uncomfortable. Tony patted his pockets, making sure they were emptied. With Gibbs clearly not watching from the hall, Tony climbed into bed.

He turned his back on the older man, ashamed to have anyone see him. He didn't deserve this much kindness. He'd screwed up and let his past affect him. The past was just the past. It wasn't supposed to matter now. It wasn't supposed to come up. It was supposed to stay hidden. He'd failed again.

Gibbs watched as Tony pulled the covers up to his shoulders, and then scooted farther down into the bed, bringing the covers up over his head. Tony shivered slightly, feeling some draft that wasn't really there. He rubbed his socked feet together, wondering if he'd ever feel warm again.

####

Jack, Ducky, and Lydia were waiting downstairs for Jethro. Jack was sitting, his foot bouncing on his knee. Ducky stood in the center of the room, his hands clasped behind his back. Lydia was in the kitchen, brewing coffee. She also had the teapot on, intending to take a cup up to Tony.

Upstairs, Tony could feel them. They were talking about him. They were talking about what a mess he was. How worthless he was. How they wanted to be rid of him. He knew it.

He shuddered in fear, his body trembling. Tony grasped the blankets in his fingers, pulling them tighter in his hands. His shoulders began to ache from the strain. He felt his legs tighten as they pulled closer to his chest. He couldn't help the movement. It was as if his body was reacting without permission.

He gasped in pain as cramping set in. But he couldn't bring himself to release his tension. He felt his muscles clench, and gritted his teeth together. He wouldn't cry out in pain. He wouldn't.

He had no idea of how much time had passed. It felt like hours, but his mind registered minutes. However long it was, he burned. He could feel his muscles atrophying. He could feel them getting so rigid that he felt as if they'd never move again. He whimpered in agony, still refusing to cry out.

####

Lydia finished with the coffee and tea, bring a tray to the living room where the men were discussing the next week's scheduling. She had told them what she could do. The rest was up to what they were able to fill in.

She set the tray down and picked up a single cup. One filled with Breathe Right tea. She had put a little valerian into it, to help Tony sleep easier. He had refused every drug, but had accepted her offer of an herbal tea. So the addition of another herb was something that she didn't feel would be breaking down his boundaries. It was still an herb, it would help him breathe easier, and it would give him needed rest.

When she knocked on the door to his room, she was met with silence. But something was off. She felt uneasy. Then she heard a sound. It was barely there, but she could hear it. A whimper. So soft, it was as if the young man were afraid to even make that much noise.

Lydia opened the door and set the cup on the bedside table, and touched Tony's shoulder gently. The young man flinched, involuntarily whimpering again. She could hear his breathing growing harsher, and went to the door, shutting it.

When she returned to the bed, she sat on its edge. She touched his arm, and was surprised at the rock-like knot beneath her hand.

"Tony?" She spoke softly, rubbing his arm lightly. "You're ok, Tony. You're ok."

He whimpered again, his entire body beginning to shiver. It was as if he had a case of tremors. Tremors that caused him intense pain if the agonized groan was any indication.

Lydia continued talking to him, massaging the muscles she could reach. When she got to his hands, she was worried about their chill. He had clenched his hands so tightly that the circulation had shut off. His fingernails carried a slight bluish hue to them. She massaged his hands, working his fingers, moving his wrists. He whimpered and groaned in pain the entire time.

"I'm so sorry, Honey. But I have to do this." She kept up a litany of encouragement flowing to him in quietly spoken tones. He began to relax, his legs not cramping as badly. She chanced a question she hoped he would answer.

"What got you so upset, Sweetheart?" Tony whispered a reply, and she had to ask again.

"I couldn't hear you, Tony. Can you say it a little louder?" He nodded, wincing as his neck throbbed with the effort.

"I got scared." His voice was low and gravely, unusual for him.

"What scared you?"

"You're all downstairs. You're talking about how I screwed up. How I let the past get the better of me." Tears leaked unbidden from his eyes.

Lydia knew she had to choose her words carefully. Right now, words would either help build or completely destroy this man. She asked him to look at her, and he did, his fear standing plainly on his face.

"We know what happened, Tony." She watched as his eyes shuttered. A mask slipped over them, making them almost lifeless. "Jack let me know, and Ducky." She brushed hair from his forehead and spoke again.

"He also told your dad." Tony's eyes met hers again, panic radiating from his entire body. It was worse than he thought! He sat forward, seeming to want to get up. She pushed him back into his pillows, making him meet her eyes again.

"When Jethro found out about what your father did to you and your mother, he cried, Honey. He's not mad at you. He's not disappointed in you." She held his hands, her fingers keeping track of his pulse without his knowledge. "He doesn't understand, Tony. He doesn't understand how he could have done that to you. How he could have done that to your mother."

"Because I'm a mess. I'm worthless." His voice cracked. "And now Gibbs knows it. He's gonna…." Lydia stopped him with a finger across his mouth.

"He's going to love you, Sweetheart, just like he always has. He's going to stand by your side and help you however he can. He's going to be here for you." Tony began to cry, her words making no sense to him. He understood their meanings, but he didn't comprehend someone giving him that support.

"He's going to help you, Tony. He's going to be the dad you should have had. The dad who will love you, no matter what. The dad who is proud of you, and who will be here for you."

Tony sat forward again, but this time it was not out of panic. He leaned forward, his breath hitching as he wept. Lydia scooted closer, drawing him in to her arms.

When Gibbs came up to check on them twenty minutes later, he found Tony laying on his back, his eyes closed. He had a second pillow clasped to his chest as if it were a teddy bear. The oxygen machine was turned on, its motor making the familiar whirr-whirr-hiss as he breathed slowly in and out. The CPAP was virtually noiseless, which was good, considering Tony probably couldn't have slept through two machines. Lydia sat by him, still perched on the edge of the bed.

The melodious sound of a lullaby floated from her alto voice. Her eyes were trained on the young man before her, and while Jethro knew she knew he had entered, she did not acknowledge him until he was next to her. Then it was only a nod as she rose so he could take her place.

Tony's eyes opened when he felt the change in pressure on the bed. They didn't open fully, barely slits, but enough that Gibbs spoke to him, knowing he was not asleep.

"Go to sleep, son. I'll keep you safe." And with that, Tony passed into oblivion, his breathing staying deep and slow, his body finally relaxing entirely as he gave in to the exhaustion left over from terror.

Gibbs sat by his son for hours that day, simply watching him sleep. Tony moved once or twice, and once started to whimper in his sleep. But a hand to his shoulder and a soft word or two sent him back to his rest.


	27. Getting Tony Downstairs

Disclaimer: Still don't own it.

Note: Thanks to Headbanger Rockstar for being my beta! Love ya!

Note: just in case ya'll don't read every chapter, I'll let you know again that I am in process of moving, but I will update as regularly as I can. Most is already written or underway. Happy reading!

Tony had been home for nearly a week, and with the exception of necessary things such as a shower and other physical needs, the young man had not been out of his room. He certainly hadn't been down to the main level of the house.

He had not requested anything. He had not asked for food when he was hungry. Rather, he had waited until his caregiver of the day had given up hoping he would come down and took him a meal. He didn't initiate conversation. He asked questions only when absolutely necessary, and then his questions were ones that sometimes made no sense to anyone else.

"Do you hate me?"

"Why are you being nice to me?"

"Do you understand that I'm a disaster? Do you really understand why my mother killed herself?"

"How can you not blame me for Jenny's death?"

####

Jack was with Tony this morning early. Lydia had needed to get to work early, so she had left around six. Jethro was working, and Ducky had three new guests. He had a cup of coffee, deciding how to get the young man out of his self-imposed imprisonment.

He didn't have to stay upstairs, but he couldn't seem to understand that he was allowed to be out of his room. Or perhaps he didn't feel safe anywhere but his room. Jack couldn't decide which.

Waiting until he heard Tony's door close again, he walked up the stairs. He stood outside of the younger man's door for several moments before raising his hand to knock.

"Yes? I'm up."

"I know." Jack squared his shoulders. He knew this was going to be hard. For him and his grandson. "I'm going to make pancakes soon."

"Oh? I haven't had pancakes for a long time. Weeks."

"Been that long, huh?" Jack chuckled. "Well, when you're ready, come on down." He heard Tony's gasp. "What's wrong, son?"

"I," Tony cleared his throat. "I, um, can't come down." His voice shook.

"Why?"

"I'm not allowed to."

"Who told you that?" He was answered with silence and heavy breathing. He could hear Tony start to speak several times, each one starting with an "um". He waited a few more moments.

"Can I open the door, Tony?"

"Sure." Tony's voice broke part way through the word. Jack stepped through the door, and smiled at Tony. The young man stared back, his face as emotionless as he'd kept it for the last several days.

"Who told you couldn't come downstairs, Tony?" The younger man hung his head, blanching.

"Um." He ran a hand through his hair, trying hard to stop his shaking.

"Who, son?" His voice was quiet, without any anger or undercurrents of disappointment. Tony took his cue from Jack's voice and settled himself. He drew in another deep breath and started.

"Lydia said Gibbs is my Dad now." Jack nodded. Tony's head still hung in shame. He swallowed hard before continuing. "And he knows. About my mother." Jack nodded again, confusion plain on his face.

"Yes, he does, Tony. How does that connect to you not being allowed out of your room?"

"My first dad said I wasn't allowed at the table, or on the couch." He swallowed hard. "Those things are for humans, not monsters."

"Oh, Tony." Jack grasped the young man to him tightly, feeling Tony tense at the contact. He released the younger man and motioned for him to sit. Tony sat, looking up at him with wide, fearful eyes.

"Leroy is your dad, Tony." Jack moved to sit beside his grandson, putting his arm around the young man's shoulders. "He loves you, Tony. He's confused right now. He doesn't understand."

"Lydia said that, too. Lydia said that he didn't understand how anyone could do it. I didn't mean to."

"That's not what Leroy can't understand, Tony."

"Then what?"

"He can't understand how someone could hurt his boy like that." Jack allowed the emotion he felt to color his voice. "He doesn't understand how someone could do that to you. He doesn't understand how you lived, Tony, how strong you are inside to have survived this." Jack took the shocked young man's face in his hands. "He doesn't understand, Tony, what happened to you. He doesn't know what to do to help you."

"How do you help someone like me?"

"I don't know, son. What confuses you?" Jack was back to sitting next to him, only this time he held Tony's hand, as if he were a little boy. And Tony clung to him.

"Why do you feed me three times a day? I'm only allowed to eat once."

"No, Tony. You're allowed to eat whenever you're hungry."

"But Father said…"

"You're Father was wrong, Tony. What else confuses you?"

"Why are you asking me to come downstairs? That's just going to get me to make another mistake."

"What mistake would you make?"

"I don't know. Anything. Something. I'll spill, I'll be too noisy." He shrugged hopelessly. "Just pick one." Jack jiggled his hand, and Tony looked over at him.

"What will happen if you make a mistake?" Tony looked down and swallowed hard.

"He'll beat me? Or make me go away." He suddenly sounded like a frightened child. "I don't wanna go away. I like it here."

"Tony?" Jack waited until the young man looked at him. "You don't have to leave here, ever, son. You're home now. We love you here."

They sat in silence for several moments. Tony seemed lost in thought. Jack juggled his hand again. Tony looked over to him.

"What's on your mind?"

"Can I come down while you make pancakes?"

"You sure can."

"Good. I'm lonely."

"Why didn't you say something before." Tony shrugged. "No getting out of it, son. Why?"

"I was afraid to."

"Why would you be afraid to tell us you're lonely?" It was Tony's turn to look confused.

"Because if I didn't have to be here with Gibbs because of my lungs, I'd be alone."

"Not just because of your lungs, Tony."

"I'm messed up." Tony went back to his whispered words.

"No, son. We'd have you here and be spending time with you anyway."

"Why?"

"Because we love you." Tony's eyes filled. His mind tried to grasp it. He really did. Jack could see the battle in his eyes and the set of his shoulders. He changed the subject.

"Come on downstairs. I need to get coffee going, and I'll make us some pancakes."

"Ok, Jack." Tony flashed a semi-smile and stood.

"Grandpa." Tony's eyes flew hopefully to the older man's face. "I'm Grandpa, Tony. That will never change." Tony's smile was real this time.

####

When Gibbs got home from work, Tony sat at the table doing a puzzle. He looked up and smiled, the first smile Jethro had seen in days.

"How ya doin'?"

"I'm good." Tony stood and came to stand before his boss. He bounced nervously from one foot to the other, eventually looking over to Jackson, who gave an encouraging nod.

"What ya need, Tony?" Gibbs' voice was quiet, yet filled with patience and love.

"Grandpa said that I can still call you Dad." He swallowed hard, and then looked into Gibbs eyes again. "Can I?"

Tony was surprised a moment later when he felt two strong arms wind around him. He'd just hoped to not be hit for asking. He didn't expect the hug, or the rough emotion in the man's voice as he replied.

"Of course you can, Tony. Wouldn't have it any other way."

######

Three hours later, when dinner was done, dessert was eaten, and dishes were washed, Tony once again stood by Gibbs, uncertainty radiating off of him. The older man looked at him, his eyebrows raised. Both men had realized during dinner that this Tony was not the same man who had searched for Gibbs only two weeks ago.

He had vast wells of knowledge. That had not changed. He had humor. That had not changed, either. Nor had his love of sausage and pepperoni pizza with extra cheese. But he was emotionally a child. A hurt and vulnerable child.

When Tony had not spoken for several more moments, Gibbs prodded him along.

"What is it, son?"

"Um, can you, um." Tony blushed, looking down at his feet.

"Can I what?"

"I'm sleepy."

"Ok." Gibbs was now trying hard to be patient. "And what do you need?"

"I'm scared." He picked at his nails in what Gibbs was coming to recognize as his tell for something linking to his past. "Can you come with me?" Jethro nearly chuckled. His SFA was asking him to tuck him in. Were it not for the very real fear and discomfort written on the man's face, he may have.

But now his reply was a quiet, "Sure."

When Jack went up that evening to check on Tony, he found Tony leaning against Gibbs, the older man singing softly to him. Tony's eyes were closed, his breaths deep. He had the cannula in place, along with the CPAP mask.

Jethro looked up at his dad, his eyes suspiciously damp. Jack smiled back, nodding his approval. Now that they had him talking and asking for what he needed, healing could come. If only they could find him a therapist. And Jack had talked to Ducky, who had an idea.


	28. Getting Tony Assessed

Disclaimer: Still don't own it.

Note: Special thanks to Headbanger Rockstar! My beta, as always! Ptbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb!

Note: I am not a mental health professional. Don't like, don't read. No flames.

On Thursday, Lydia had dinner ready by 5. Jethro was getting home from work right at 6, and needed Tony to be ready to go. The younger man had been getting more childish, and Gibbs wanted an assessment done. Just in case.

Tony was a nervous wreck. He was doing things wrong, but he couldn't figure out what. He wasn't spilling things, he wasn't breaking things. But something was wrong. Grandpa was being really gentle, being sure to call every day while he was gone, and Lydia was talking to him so nice. And he didn't even want to think about his Dad.

Gibbs was the worst. He was so patient. Gibbs was never patient. Gibbs yelled. He was stony and silent. Especially when something was wrong. But his Dad-Gibbs was being very talkative. And nice. And he'd smiled. Twice. And ever since he found out that Tony was having trouble falling asleep, he'd been there in the room, either reading aloud or to himself while music played until Tony fell asleep.

Something was wrong, and Tony knew it was him. He cried. And wasn't sure why. He got scared. Even pictures on the news scared him. So he wasn't allowed to watch the news anymore.

He wandered around the living room, finally deciding to watch a movie. Jack was gone this week, and Lydia was staying with him all week, except for when Gibbs was home from work. And Tim had gotten him some of his favorite movies from his apartment. So he popped in Vincent Price's "An Evening With Edgar Allen Poe". He loved Vincent Price.

The first part of the TV special came on, "The Black Cat". He was unaware of the scream that escaped his lips. Something triggered a new memory. Or, rather, the feeling of one. Some nameless horror gripped him, and he couldn't escape it.

Lydia ran in from the kitchen, turning off the TV as she came in. Tony was already curled in on himself, hands over his head. He continued screaming, even as Gibbs ran through the door.

"Tony!" Lydia sat by him, her hands trying to pry his hands away from his head. He held himself so tightly, she was concerned he'd hurt his neck. "Tony! What happened, honey? What's wrong?"

The young man continued rocking back and forth, his eyes covered. He didn't know what had scared him. He only knew that something was familiar. And it was familiar in a really, really bad way. Like a dead body way.

####

Gibbs sat out in the lobby of the mental health clinic that he had been assured by Ducky would be the most thorough, the most discreet, and most importantly, had the best therapists the older ME knew of. He tired of sitting and began pacing.

Tony had been screaming when he'd gotten home only an hour ago. In that time, he'd settled down, come here, and his appointment was nearly 20 minutes into its session. Lydia had called off from her work for the night, stating a family emergency. Gibbs was grateful, as she'd sat in the backseat with Tony, keeping the young man from panicking as he went through all of the things he'd done wrong that day that could have landed him in a doctor's appointment.

With tears still streaming down his cheeks from his panic attack in the car, Tony had been led by the therapist into a room just down the hall. Lydia had gone for coffee. Which left Gibbs free to run to Tony's side if he needed to.

Lydia returned when Jethro was on his second loop through the lobby. He walked to her, taking the coffee she held out to him, downing nearly half of it immediately.

"You keep drinking it like that, and you'll not sleep tonight." He glared at her, then shrugged when she just looked back at him, eyebrows raised. He already knew she didn't cave to the Gibbs Glare.

"I'm worried, Lydia. What did I do to him?"

"Nothing. Have the rest of the team reacted like this?"

"No."

"Then why think this is all you?" He looked at her like she was dumb.

"Because he was following me that night."

"Yes, but I ask again, have any of the others reacted like this?" He shook his head.

"I still feel guilty, though."

"Feel guilty for your part, Jethro, but not for any other part of it."

"What does that mean?"

"You just think about it tonight while you're not sleeping. You and that boat can figure it out."

#####

Gibbs looked at his watch for the fifth time, and Lydia tapped his leg. He looked over at her.

"It's only been ten minutes since the last time you looked, Jethro."

"They said it would be an hour."

"An hour for the testing."

"And what else do they need to do?"

"He'll talk to a therapist, or do some play therapy."

"Play therapy?" Jethro's eyes flew wide. "Isn't that for kids?"

"Sometimes it's very useful on adults, Gibbs." She nodded down the hall. "Is that his therapist?"

A man with a nice jacket, no tie, and a polo shirt stood smiling at the entrance to the lobby. He nodded to Gibbs, who stood.

"Well?"

"Can you come back, Mr. and Mrs. Gibbs."

"Just Gibbs. We're not married. This is Lydia."

"Oh, I am so sorry." The man's ears went red. "Tony referred to you as his dad, and to you as his new mom. I assumed…" Lydia chuckled.

"I'm a caregiver that's around most of the time."

Things were worse than Gibbs expected if Tony was referring to everyone in family terms. He felt completely lost as he sat down across from the doctor. Tony was nowhere to be found, and that worried the older agent.

"Gibbs, I need to be blunt with you." The therapist cleared his throat. "I am very glad that you have support for you and Tony." He looked down at the papers before him.

"After spending time talking to him and doing some basic assessments, I believe that he is experiencing a breakdown. Now, this is not a breakdown that will render him incapable of being himself in the future. However, I believe that his mind has reached a point that he in incapable of hiding behind a carefully built mask any longer.

"What this will look like, I don't know for sure. I can say, with a fair amount of certainty, that his emotions will regress to the age at which his father, who he said was one Anthony DiNozzo, Sr." Here the therapist looked up to Gibbs, who nodded tersely, "began to abuse him. And the earliest that he can recollect is the time of his mother's death, when he was four."

"He's gonna be four?" Gibbs shot out of his chair. "You're telling me that because I didn't call, that he's reliving all of this hell?"

"No, that is not what I'm saying." Dr. Shaw stood and offered the distraught man a cup of water. Gibbs shook his head, but sat back down.

"I am saying that his emotions, not his intellect, will regress to a point, and from that point, his healing will begin. He is still regressing." Shaw cleared his throat again.

"What should we do?" Lydia asked quietly, knowing Gibbs wasn't able to speak at the moment. His jaw was held so tightly that had she punched him, the muscles may well have broken it.

"Be aware of his current age." Shaw shrugged. "Have him in therapy. I would say, that while he loves movies and TV, limit him to shows and movies that are non violent. Nothing over PG-13. I would even go so far as to say stick with PG and G. The intellectual side of him may argue, but the emotional side will find comfort and safety in the boundaries."

Things began to make a horrifying sense to Gibbs. The need to be tucked in. The fear of doing anything wrong. The two times Tony had wet the bed. The crying for no reason. The screaming tonight. The childish talk at times. The hovering. The clinginess. The constant seeking of approval, even more than before. The crushed feelings when approval was withheld.

The questions that should have obvious answers, such as the now daily, "Do you love me?" and "Can I still call you Dad?" and "Am I in trouble?" whenever anyone called for him. His hesitance when he asked for even the slightest thing. His fear of the dark, of being alone.

Gibbs drew in a deep breath and closed his eyes. When he opened them, he looked to Lydia, silently asking her if she was in for the long haul. She, just as she had from the first day they met, knew what he was thinking, and nodded. Gibbs looked to Dr. Shaw, determination on his face.

"Ok, so let him become the child he needs to be, is that correct?" Shaw nodded. "Will you be his therapist?" Shaw nodded again. "How often does he need to come?"

"I would suggest twice a week to begin with."

"Let's make appointments." Gibbs and Lydia opened their respective calendars. Before the hour was up, Tony had twelve sessions scheduled. And Gibbs felt he had a handle on reality again. He had a plan of action. And a plan was good.

"So, where's Tony now?"

"Right now he's in what we refer to as the Green Room." Dr. Shaw shrugged. "It's usually for children, but in Tony's case, it's the best place for him to wait while we had our conference."

"Why couldn't he be with us?"

"Because do you want to have to argue with him about needing therapy? If the sessions are made, the emotional part of him will find comfort in being cared for. If he has to have a part in it, the intellectual part of him will argue."

"Good point." Gibbs drew in a deep breath.

"Any final advice for the next few days?" Shaw thought for a moment.

"Just love him, Gibbs. Remember that he needs to be met on his emotional level. Set boundaries. Don't be his boss. Now is the time for you to be his dad, and only his dad."

"What about work?"

"I will be contacting Director Vance and telling him of my findings." Gibbs scowled. "I'm sorry, Agent Gibbs, but I have to. It is in Tony's best interest, as well as the interest of anyone who would need to work with him. And frankly, he will be unable to work for quite some time."

"How long do you think, doc?"

"The damage was not caused overnight, Gibbs, and it will not be fixed overnight." Shaw sighed. "It could be years." His eyes shot to Lydia, who wasn't trying to hide her tears. "Or, it could be permanent."

Jethro swore softly. He and Lydia walked down the hall to the room Shaw had directed them to. It had a large picture window, and they watched Tony through it. He was unaware of them watching. The two in the hall embraced one another and watched, gathering strength from the other, while at the same time giving it freely.

Tony sat with a car, happily pushing it on the table before him. It was a red sports car, just like Magnum drove. He was making noises, having the time of his life. Part of him knew he shouldn't play. He was too big. Another part, the more fun part, the part he wanted to listen to right now, didn't care. There were toys. He'd never had toys. And toys were awesome.

He pushed seriousness aside, letting the part of him that liked to play out. Dr. Shaw had said that it was ok. He'd talk to Dad and explain that sometimes Tony needed to play. Dr. Shaw said that everything was going to be ok, that he wasn't going to be in trouble for crying on the way here. He proved it by letting him play.

His caregivers watched for several minutes before Jethro entered the room, and Tony looked up, pure joy written on his face. He held up the car, talking excitedly.

"Hey, Dad! Look! It's just like Magnum's car!" Gibbs held back a tear in exchange for a smile.

"Pretty cool! What say we stop for some ice cream on the way home?" Tony jumped up from his seat, putting the car back on the shelf.

"Yeah! Can I have chocolate?"

Gibbs laughed, telling him that he could. Out in the hall, Lydia waited. A smile graced her features when Tony wrapped her in a hug.

"We're going for ice cream! Dad said I could have chocolate." He was off down the hall before either Gibbs or Lydia could even move. "Come on!"

Wiping a tear from her face, Lydia elbowed Gibbs. He looked at her, his mind still racing. This was a lot to take in.

"We can sort it all out and figure it out after he's in bed."

"I know." His voice caught. "I just realized that he's not my Tony anymore."

"No." Lydia leaned against him for a moment, shoulder to shoulder. "But he'll be more your Tony now than he ever was before." And with that, she started down the hall where their charge was busy thanking Dr. Shaw for letting him play, and for explaining to his dad that playing was ok.

"Come on, kiddo." Gibbs playfully patted his head as he walked passed. "Time to go. Dr. Shaw wants to get home, and we need to get you that ice cream."

Tony's face lit up and he raced outside, waiting by the car. Gibbs nodded to the therapist.

"Thanks, Dr."

"You bet. And just remember, Gibbs. Sometimes he'll be in his intellect, and sometimes in his emotions. Just try to be at his level." Another nod, and he was out the door, Lydia already unlocking the car for a complaining young man. Dad was taking too long.


	29. Telling the Family

Disclaimer: Don't own it…. Despite my wildest dreams….

Note: Thanks to Headbanger Rockstar, as always! You rock, dude!

Jethro made phone calls that evening, talking to his three other children after Tony was in bed and asleep. The young man had stayed in his younger mindset all night. It seemed that after receiving the encouragement to just be himself from Dr. Shaw, that Tony had finally relaxed.

He'd shyly asked for a waffle cone at Baskin Robins, and the clerk had looked at Gibbs, confused. She was in an alternative relationship, and wasn't sure if the two men were acting out a kink, or if something else was going on. But she wasn't going to serve until she was sure.

Gibbs had reassured the young woman that Tony could have whatever he wanted. Just as he was speaking, Lydia came up, smiling. Tony had greeted her happily, thrilled to be getting a huge cone. Especially the one the girl was currently filling.

When she finally understood to some extent what was going on, she played with Tony, flirting a little, goofing off, and making the young man laugh and blush. Lydia then ordered and Gibbs paid. He tipped her for being so nice, and the family left. By the time they got home, Tony had chocolate all over both hands and was a thrilled mess of laughing oversized child.

Jethro hurried him through the shower, reminding him to wash behind his ears. Tony scowled, not happy. He hated showers. What a way to waste the last bit of time before bed.

Gibbs laughed to himself as he finally understood why he'd been getting disgruntled looks from the younger man. Tony'd obey and bathe, but he'd not do it happily. Yet another thing that was making sense.

Tony'd been yawning when he came back down the stairs, dressed in his pajamas. His hair was wet, and he got himself his nightly glass of chocolate milk. Lydia clucked at him, reminding him he'd already had chocolate, and that maybe he should have just plain milk. He glared at her, but stopped pouring in the delicious syrup.

"Bedtime, Bud." Gibbs came in to the kitchen. Tony looked up at him, yawning widely. He finished his milk and went up obediently.

Lydia watched the two going up the stairs, her heart aching. So much of Tony's recent behavior was making sense. She'd not known the man for long, but his actions, while contradictory to an adult, made perfect sense for a child. She hoped his breakdown wasn't permanent, but would only be a stepping stone to true healing.

Tony had been up early that morning, and was now ready to sleep. He crawled into bed and listened as his dad told him some random silly story from his own childhood. Well before Gibbs was done, he slept.

######

Gibbs called Ducky and Jack first, telling them what Tony's assessment had shown. Both agreed to do what they could to help the entire family during this trouble. One thing Jack was sure of, was that he could be up for a couple of weeks. He'd secured help already, and would be on the road again in two days. He'd be up for another two weeks.

His next call was to Ziva. She'd pestered him all day regarding her brothers antics. She'd wanted to know if Gibbs would indeed call after the appointment. She wanted to know what she could do. And Gibbs had needed to remind her nearly every hour or so that until Tony's assessment was done, they wouldn't know.

She must have had her phone glued to her side. It hadn't even rung a second time when she answered it, demanding answers. While to an outsider, it may have been off-putting, Gibbs knew it was her fear showing itself.

Ziva had been near tears two days ago when she called Gibbs. She'd dropped lunch off for Tony and Lydia, the older woman thrilled to have company for just a little bit, but Tony had taken a look at his meal, normally his favorite sandwich, hot pastrami on marble rye, and cried. It wasn't what he wanted.

And then he'd cried because he was crying. She left to the sound of Lydia calming him, her phone already dialing her dad. She'd demanded answers then, answers he didn't have.

He had her answers today, and while she didn't like them, she understood. She had seen torture victims broken down to this point. She had nearly broken when she was in Somalia. While she had a hard time understanding why it had happened _now, _she was willing to help him heal.

Gibbs told her they'd have a family talk tomorrow at work, so he could answer any questions she had then. Anything she didn't think to ask tonight. Ziva told him she thought she understood, but that she would indeed think on it.

He thanked her for trying to understand, and asked if she had any idea on how to handle Abby. Ziva told her yes. He needed to sit down with her face to face. Tonight would be the best. Just get it over with.

The Goth had been near frantic after visiting with him. She'd tried to get him to go outside, but it was dark, and he was afraid. That in and of its self was unusual. But not too off. He did strange things on occasion. Weird little things were just… "Tony". What freaked her out was when he'd dropped a plastic cup.

Rather than picking up the empty vessel and putting it on the table, he'd covered his head with his hands and done what she could only describe as an attempt at hiding in the middle of the kitchen. He'd covered his head with his hands, crouched down, and whimpered. When she touched his shoulder, he flinched.

His behavior was so unlike her big brother that Abby had called for Lydia immediately. When the older woman entered the kitchen, she asked what had happened. Abby told her, and watched in shock as Lydia talked Tony from his "hiding place". This had never happened before. Something was completely wrong in the land of Tony DiNozzo. Something was horribly wrong.

######

Lydia had waited while Gibbs made his first three calls. She put on coffee, finished up the supper dishes that hadn't been finished due to his panic, and then sat at the table doing a crossword puzzle.

Gibbs came in and poured himself a cup of coffee, not seeming to notice that she was still there. His mind was somewhere else. Not that she could blame him.

He snapped himself out of whatever place he'd been in and came to sit at the table with her.

"I need to go see Tim and Abby. Tim, I know will just roll with it. Abby…" He shook his head. Tony and Abby had always been fiercely protective of one another. And now she was frightened and fiercely protective. That could be a disastrous combination.

"Abby will understand, Jethro." Lydia spoke softly, keeping her voice quiet enough that the tremor held in it wouldn't come forth.

"I hope so."

"She will. You need to explain it the way Dr. Shaw explained it to us. That his mind reached a saturation point." She sighed. "I'm just glad it happened the way it did, and not in the field." She missed Jethro's silence, but his eyes widened in anger and fear. "How bad could it have been then?"

"You're glad I caused this?" He stood and glared down at her, not sure of what to do.

"That's not exactly what I said, Gibbs." She stood. She'd been married to a man who threw punches when angered. One thing she'd learned was to rise if he and his voice did.

"Then what, exactly, did you say?" He was ready for a fight. Anything but the ache in his chest.

"I was thinking that if this happened when you were in the field, when someone had a gun trained on you, or if you had already been shot, or it was Tim or Ziva, that he would have been a liability. That's all."

With a final growl in her direction, he stormed out of the house, slamming the door behind him.

He walked the ten blocks to the McGee's, thinking the entire way of what Lydia had just said. He was pissed. She thought Tony wouldn't have held it together? She thought Tony wouldn't have been able to do his job? Was she giving up on him? Getting some sick pleasure out of seeing him like this?

He growled about the doctor. About telling him it was good for Tony to be childish. How could it ever be good for a grown man to be childish? He was even more convinced that shrinks were worthless.

He raged for a total of three blocks, when he suddenly stopped in his tracks. Reality crashed in on him. This was something that Tony had been holding off since childhood. This wasn't something that had come on in a single evening. This had been in the works since Tony was a child.

He'd not been allowed to grieve for his mother. He'd not been allowed to feel the pain of her death, as he was too busy trying to keep his father from beating him with pleas and reasoning. Or what reasoning a four year old possesses.

He had learned to close off his emotions. To behave as people expected him to. To be someone he was not. To laugh rather than cry. To not care when his father disowned him. To not get attached to people. His heart had closed itself behind a fortress.

And life, with all of its horribleness and seeming hatred for the young man, was destroying his fortress.

He began walking again, this time at a near run. He got to Tim and Abby's house, and knocked at the door. Abby answered, her eyes holding concern, especially when she looked up into the face of her dad.

#####

Abby understood far better than Gibbs had hoped she would. He began by explaining how Tony had built a castle around his heart and emotions. The young Goth sat by her husband and cried. She asked what they could do, and Gibbs repeated the instructions he had been given by the doctor. Meet him where he was. Moment by moment.

Tim proved to be the challenge. He didn't want to believe that there was anything wrong with Tony. Tony was just pretending. It was some prank. It had to be.

Part of him knew it was really happening, yet another part, the hero-worshiper of Tony DiNozzo, the one who loved his adopted brother more than life itself, fought against it. Nothing got to Tony. He was invincible. In mind, in body, and in will. When he finally accepted it, it was with grief.

He was terrified that it was all too much. That Tony, his brother Tony, his best friend in the world, was gone. Only Gibbs and Abby's reassurances that he could heal kept him from utter despair. Never had he felt such pain.

He had often felt jealous of Tony. Tim was the middle child. Stuck forever in shadow. Abby was the favorite. Ziva was the youngest, Tony was the oldest. He'd lived in Tony's shadow, had been jealous at times of Tony. Now, he regretted it. He wanted his brother back.


	30. Making Up

Disclaimer: Still don't own it.

Note: Thank you, Headbanger Rockstar! You caught all of my mistakes again! Whew…

Gibbs walked home, his steps slow. He knew Lydia would be there. He also knew he'd deserve her temper. He hated to admit he was wrong, and lately, that's all he seemed to do.

####

Lydia was fighting down panic. Gibbs had left three hours ago. He'd been angry, and she felt horrible. The man had been through enough without her adding to it.

She didn't want to call Abby and Tim. If he was still there, he'd be angry that she was checking up on him. She didn't want to call his cell, because if he was done talking to them, and was just taking time to himself, she didn't want to intrude on his needed space.

Tony had woken up when he slammed the door, and been upset. She'd gotten him back to sleep, and was just coming down from checking on him again when the door opened.

Gibbs came in quietly, shutting the door silently behind him. He met Lydia's eyes, trying to tell her of his irritation with himself. She misunderstood. When her husband had that look, she was in for it.

Jethro watched as she basically curled in on herself. Her body didn't really change, but it was as if the energy surrounding her… sucked in. He could think of no other way to explain it.

He came to the base of the stairs and blocked her path. Lydia looked into his face, fully expecting him to shout at her for being so harsh before. Even if it was the truth. She wasn't expecting his eyes to be filled with compassion, or his voice to be barely above a whisper.

"I'm sorry, Lydia. You were right." He stroked her cheek with his thumb, and then headed to the kitchen, talking as he walked. "I'll make coffee, and we need to do some serious planning."

She looked after him mildly confused, but greatly relieved. For all of his saying that he was a bastard, he was showing himself to be a better man than her late husband.

"Where do you want to have this discussion?" She stood in the door of the kitchen. Gibbs thought for a moment. His boat was his first choice, but he'd not talk. He'd sand. That would be that.

"Living room. Walk got me a little chilly. We'll start a fire, if that's ok."

"Sure thing." She went in to the living room and started to crumple paper for starter. She built a little fire, one that would put out decent heat without being too big. When Gibbs came in with their coffee, he flipped off the lights and watched the flames dance.

"Something calming about a fire." He was still speaking quietly. He handed her a mug, and took a spot on the couch, putting his feet up on the coffee table. Lydia sat on the other end of the couch, her feet on the table as well.

They sat in silence, just gathering their thoughts. The fire blazed; shadows of flame danced on the walls. The bottom pieces burned down, and shifted, sending up tiny sparks and making an odd noise. Four crackles later, and silence reigned again. Silence, but not unease.

Nearly an hour passed along with a pot of coffee before they were ready to really talk.

"I'm sorry I upset you earlier."

"I was spoiling for a fight. I didn't want to have to face the facts." Jethro drew in a deep breath. "But you were right."

"No, I was wrong to say what I did." Gibbs chuckled.

"Never thought I would say this, but would you let me apologize?" Lydia huffed a laugh.

"If you insist, but then you have to let me get mine out, too."

"We're a pair, aren't we?"

"Indeed." Lydia held her near empty cup out to him. "Here's to friends."

"Friends." He playfully knocked his mug against hers.

"So, now what do we do about Tony?" She looked over to him, swallowing a lump in her throat as she watched his eyes fill unbidden. He stomped down his emotions and cleared his throat.

"Well, I can't leave him alone, that's for sure. That's one of his biggest fears, and if I have to be a work for an evening…" He shrugged.

"I can come as often as possible, Jethro. I told you I'd help however I could."

"Yeah? And when you get tired of hanging out here? Of giving up your time for a man you barely know?"

"Well, we'll cross that bridge when we get there." Lydia shrugged. "I'm here now."

"Yep. Ya are." Silence and thought were the king and queen for another few minutes.

"So. To bring us back to a plan, Jethro, what are we going to do?"

"You are working nights, right?"

"Mostly. And I can see if I can get more night shifts, or all nights."

"If you can be here during the day, then I can be here at night."

"And nights when you're working cases?" Gibbs shrugged. He had no idea.

"Can Ducky or Abby come?"

"If I'm working, they're working." He sighed. "I don't know. Got any ideas?"

"I can see if someone would take shifts for me." She shrugged.

"You can't do that, Lydia. I can't pay you for a missed shift." He grinned. "You make too much per hour." She laughed at that.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." They sat in comfortable silence for a few more minutes. "You know, he's gonna need toys. And safe movies."

Gibbs groaned. He'd not even thought of that. But with how Tony had reacted to that car earlier in the evening, toys would be a necessity.

"So how do we get him toys without embarrassing him?"

"Take him when he's having a kid moment."

"And if he snaps back into his intellect while we're shopping?"

"He won't. I don't think, anyway." Lydia shrugged. "You could always go without him."

"Nu-uh. If I gotta go buy a nearly 40 year old man toys, I'm not going alone. Someone can stay with him, and you're going with me."

"Deal. Now, back to what to do if you have to work and no one else can stay with him."

"You're not taking nights off of work, Lydia. You can't lose the hours, and I can't pay you what you make." His voice was firm. But she knew he wasn't thinking it all the way through.

"Jethro Gibbs, you are just being difficult."

"That may be so, but let's think of something else."

"You can't afford to hire a nurse, Jethro, and he's not in need of hospice, he's not incompetent, well, he is right now, but not permanently. So help from that venue isn't going to be a good option. You don't want to hire some little old lady down the street who doesn't know him or understand what's going on.

"Due to his current problems with COPD and asthma, he needs to have someone who understands lung function and can make good decisions for treatment based on education, not what seems right at the moment. What if Mrs. What's-her-face down the street is with him and he has an attack? Will she know what to do? What if he has a panic attack, or a memory?

"He needs trained people, or at least those of us he knows and trusts." Gibbs grunted ascent. He hated it, but she was making sense.

"I just don't like it, Lydia. Not that it's you, but that he's in this situation at all. That I've got to ask you to do this."

"You're not asking, Jethro. I'm offering."

"Which makes me feel more of a heel."

"Why?"

"If I hadn't taken you to dinner, if we hadn't laughed and gotten to know one another, would you be here?"

"Well, no."

"See? That's what I mean. If I hadn't befriended you…"

"If you hadn't befriended me, I'd still be wondering who that man was at the restaurant who played with his grandkids. I'd be sitting at home, wishing I could find friends. I'd be wondering what I could do to make myself useful to someone." She chuckled. "That, or I'd go find a bridge club and get bored every Tuesday." Gibbs laughed outright as a smart comment jumped into his brain.

"Nah, not bridge. You're more of the poker kind of chick." Lydia nearly spit out the last of her coffee, but swallowed it, laughing merrily.

"You already know me too well." He saluted her with his empty cup.

######

She had run up to check on Tony once more, and he was still sleeping, the CPAP mask still on, his O2 machine still whirring away, the whirr-whirr-hiss keeping time with his breaths. When she came back down the stairs, Gibbs held her jacket while she slipped her arms in. She chuckled as she looked up to him.

"Good night, Daddy." He grinned and shot a rueful expression up the stairs.

"Don't forget what he said tonight." Lydia laughed, a clear, joyous sound that made the fears in his heart recede for a moment. "Mommy. Or is that Mrs. Gibbs?"

She stuck out her tongue, blowing a raspberry, and he smirked. He'd definitely met his match. Holding out his arm, he gave her a one armed hug which she returned, squeezing him tightly.

"Night, and lock the door this time."

"Yes, ma'am." And she was gone.


	31. Action Plan for Agent DiNozzo

Disclaimer: Nope…just checked… still don't own NCIS or anything with it… sigh

Note: Thanks to Headbanger Rockstar for being my beta! And for not head-slapping me for throwing all of this her way!

Note: Please remember that I am moving… I'm trying to get most of the story up and caught up until Christmas, just in case Real Life gets in the way… stinkin' reality….

Dr. Shaw called and spoke with Ducky, discussing with him the best way to handle Tony's situation, so that if he ever were to fully heal, he would still have a career. Ducky talked to Gibbs, and the MCRT team lead called a meeting.

SecNav, Director Vance, Ducky, Dr. Pitt, and Dr. Shaw arrived to the conference room at the appointed time. Gibbs was already there, on the phone with Lydia, who was telling him about a temper tantrum Tony had thrown at lunch.

The younger man had started the morning reasonable, but as the day progressed, things hadn't gone his way, and his emotions hadn't been able to keep up with the little disappointments of everyday life. First, they were out of Captain Crunch, then the shirt he wanted to wear wasn't in his drawer.

He'd wanted to watch a show, but it wasn't on, so he had to settle for something else, all the while his mood had deteriorated. Lydia had been keeping him steady, cajoling him with humor and a board game. The final straw of his day had been when he'd wanted pizza for lunch, but she'd made Sloppy Joe's instead.

The other men weren't sure what the problem was, but the tension in Gibbs' shoulders was plainly visible as he ended his call. SecNav and Vance were surprised; the others already had a full grasp of the situation.

"He's down for a nap?" He listened for a moment. "Ok, when he wakes up, tell him I'll be home on time tonight." He was quiet again. "I'm serious, Lydia. Next time, put him in time out. Don't put up with it." He rubbed his hand over his forehead. "But he loves Sloppy Joe's." He sighed. "I can't get him pizza tonight. Not after he threw a temper like that."

The men sat, and he turned his back, leaning against the table to finish his conversation. Their expressions worried him. "Ok. I'll be home by seven. What time do you need to be to work?" Again he was quiet. "Sure. I'll get some before I get home. Ok. I'll have either Abby or Ziva come over if I'm gonna be late." Another beat. "I'll see you tonight or in the morning. Thanks." He hung up and turned around.

Let the games begin.

#####

Once the meeting had ended, Tony still had a possible future as a consultant on Gibbs' team. He was on medical leave until further notice, and with Ducky, Dr. Shaw and Dr. Pitt pushing the issue, he would be paid partial salary.

Much of his current problem was brought on by being used as Jennifer Shephard's personal lackey. Neither Gibbs nor Ducky liked doing it, but it was one way to ensure the young man could be taken care of. The doctors presented a case of ongoing mental and emotional abuse by the former Director, then his stint as Agent Afloat, the trip to Somalia, and of course, the circumstances surrounding Jenny's death.

When presented in a single afternoon, it was quite obvious that his assignments had caused much of his trauma, and in fact, all of the recent trauma, leading to his breakdown, was all work related. To avoid the lawsuit the doctors were subtly threatening, SecNav made his decision, and such was Tony's future.

Tim would be the MCRT SFA, and the team would be getting a new Probie. Ziva would be stepping up to help train the new kid, and SecNav had a list of recent graduates from FLETC. One was chosen, a kid named Joe.

Tony would be on paid medical leave until further notice, his insurance would continue, paid in full, and to retain his position without needing to forcibly retire, he would be listed as a consultant for Gibbs team. All in all, Gibbs was satisfied, and when his phone rang again, he was not as concerned to hide his conversation. Which was a good thing, considering he didn't realize he hit the speaker button.

He chuckled as Tony, who obviously thought he was being secretive, stage whispered loud enough for the entire conference room to hear, "Dad! She won't let me have ice cream! Please, can I have some? Please?"

"No, Tony." The young man groaned and hung up, leaving the room to sit in quiet for a moment, all of them trying to hide their chuckles. Brad finally lost it first. Tony may be acting younger at the moment, but he was still Tony.

#####

That evening, he had a long talk with Tony about listening to Lydia, and not giving her a hard time. When she was at home, and Gibbs wasn't, she was in charge. The younger man cried, absolutely terrified that he'd done something so horrible that he was going to be sent away.

Gibbs left a message for Lydia on her phone to call when she could. He had needed to talk Tony out of his closet, where he had hidden in fear of being beaten. He was ready to pull out his hair by the time Lydia did call. The new "parents" talked for a moment, before Gibbs handed his phone to Tony. The younger man took it and fairly wailed his apology.

On her end, Lydia schooled her features and tried hard to not laugh. The other ladies in respiratory therapy looked at her, a bit surprised to hear an adult voice crying like a child.

"I'm sorry, Mommy." She bit her lips, cleared her throat, forgave him, and breathed a sigh of relief when Jethro took the phone back.

"A little upset, huh?"

"Just a tad." Gibbs chuckled. "He's been afraid that you'll not love him anymore."

"Silly boy. Tell him I'll see him in the morning."

"Sure will." They chatted for another couple of minutes, and then hung up.

Lydia laughed, and her boss looked over at her.

"Something you're not telling any of us?" So she told her coworkers of the un-Gibbs family. Especially Tony. Which was perfect timing. The next day, all hell broke loose for the MCRT.

#####

Gibbs woke with a churning gut. Which was never a good sign. He checked on Tony first. His son was still sound asleep.

He went down to start coffee, only to find that Lydia already had it going. He drained his first mug before she came back into the kitchen. She'd changed clothes in the bathroom off the kitchen.

"You slept at all?"

"A couple of hours." She yawned. "I don't work tonight. I can sleep then."

"He was up until a little past midnight. He should sleep for a couple of more hours. Why don't you go up to my room? Or the nursery?" She nodded and started up the stairs.

"Be careful out there today." He nodded, watching her walk away. Something was going down.

#####

Gibbs' phone rang, and his eyes widened. He looked up to Tim, and his new second looked up to him.

"Gear up!" Gibbs stood, his expression stony. He didn't yet want to tell the team that there were 6 dead CPO's down in Quantico. All tortured from the sounds of it. His gut released for a moment, and he knew this was it. Then it clenched again.

Tony. Lydia was home tonight, but what about the other evenings? He dialed her number, talking quickly, as Tony was not going to handle Dad's absence well. They ended their call, and Lydia made one of her own. She'd deal with Jethro later.

#####

Lydia spoke with her supervisor, the one she'd told about Tony only the night before. The woman was understanding and agreed to give her leave. She would be taking her vacation time, as with this situation, she didn't qualify for the family medical leave act, but she would be paid for her time.

She waited until Jethro called to tell him what she had arranged, and wasn't exactly sure what his silence meant on the other end. She knew he'd not be happy, but also knew he'd see her point eventually. Besides, he couldn't argue too much. It was already done.

What she couldn't see was his look of gratitude. He was quiet for so long, she was afraid he'd hung up, when he finally whispered a choked "Thank you."


	32. Struggling to Understand

Disclaimer: I still don't own it…

Note: Thanks to Headbanger Rockstar! You rock, dude!

Note: still not a mental health professional… so don't complain…. Don't like, don't read. Don't flame.

Gibbs was glad Tony wasn't with them. If he hadn't already had his breakdown, this would have caused it. When they arrived, they realized it wasn't 6 tortured and dismembered bodies… there were more than that. There were just 6 torso's in partial uniform.

Thus began a week from hell. They found a total of nine bodies. They had been spread throughout the house in some gruesome system that only made sense to the killer. Ducky and Jimmy got the victims all back to the morgue and started to put them back together.

Day two revealed the cause of death. They had all ingested cyanide. Now, the question was why. And who. That answer came from Tim as he was looking at financials. They were all involved in a gaming league and had put money toward the purchase of a coffee shop.

Day three, the bodies were all identified, and only one person was missing. The treasurer. Of course. Ziva put out BOLO's, and they waited. For the first time in three days, Gibbs went home.

####

Tony had been inconsolable. He'd had his second therapy appointment, and Dad wasn't there. Mom took him, and she was really tired, and didn't take him for ice cream. She just got him pizza. He'd wanted both.

And then Dad hadn't come home at all. Tony had woken up each night and checked the older man's room. He was never there. He was never downstairs. Things got worse, because Mom would get upset with him for being out of bed and taking off his oxygen and CPAP mask.

So he got mad at her. She wasn't his boss. Dad was. And whatever he'd done, it was so bad that Dad wasn't coming home.

Dr. Shaw was wrong. His dad didn't understand about him playing. If he did, he'd come home.

All afternoon, he'd stayed in bed, refusing to come down for lunch, refusing to play, not wanting to watch a movie, not even wanting to get up for the bathroom. But he had to do that. And it made him mad.

He'd cried and yelled at Mom, he'd threatened to run away, but none of his threats worked. So now he was hiding under his covers. Tears had dried on his face, and it itched fiercely. The itchiness made him cry more. His door creaked open, and he pretended to be asleep.

Lydia came over and checked on him, seeing that he really wasn't sleeping. But if it made him feel better, she'd leave him alone. Maybe he really would fall asleep. It was what he needed.

####

Jethro called Lydia as he was nearing the grocery store. He asked if they needed anything, and she gave him a short list. He wondered why she was being so quiet. It was four in the afternoon, and Tony should be up. Shouldn't he? He shook aside his worry and got what they needed.

When he got to his house, he entered quietly, just in case he really was asleep. Lydia met him at the base of the stairs and motioned for him to follow her into the kitchen.

"What's wrong?"

"He's a mess, Jethro." Her voice shook. "He doesn't understand why you didn't come home."

"He's an agent, Lydia."

"He doesn't seem to get it, Jethro." She wiped tears from her eyes. "He's so upset. Please. Go up there and talk to him."

"Did he do something to you?"

"No!" She nearly yelled through her tears. "He's like a frightened child, Gibbs. He was up and down all night looking for you."

"I called to talk to him, to tell him I wasn't going to make it home."

"I know." She wiped her face again. "His father always did the same thing." Gibbs' face paled, and he was up the stairs, nearly at a run. He could have kicked himself.

He opened the door to Tony's room and snuck in. Tony was pretending to be asleep, but he wasn't as good at it as he'd been before his breakdown. He played possum like Kelly used to play possum. Poorly.

Gibbs sat on the edge of his bed and shook his shoulder, as if waking him up.

"Hey, Bud." Tony whipped the covers off of him and wrapped his arms around Gibbs. He was crying so hard, that the older man had to calm him before he could understand what he was trying to say.

But by the time he'd calmed, he was asleep, and the only thing Gibbs could piece together is that Tony was sorry for making him mad. Which Gibbs didn't understand at all. He wasn't mad.

When Gibbs got back down stairs, he asked Lydia what had happened, and she started from the beginning, when she'd taken him to therapy, and she'd not gotten him ice cream on the way home. She went over how he'd been over tired, hadn't taken a nap, and then kept waking up and wandering around the house looking for his Dad, crying because he'd made Dad leave.

Gibbs ran his hands over his face. This was harder than he'd expected. When Dr. Shaw had said that Tony was breaking down, Gibbs hadn't really understood just how far down the man was breaking down to. His emotions were so fragile. Even a look, or not answering a question, was cause for a meltdown.

It was as if the past thirty four years of the man had vanished, and he related everything to his life with his father and mother. Or his life with his father after his mother's suicide, to be exact. Some days were better than others. Some moments were better than others. And that's how Lydia and Gibbs took it. Moments.

####

Tony woke hours later, wondering if his Dad was going to be mad at him. He lay in bed, afraid to get up. He remembered crying, of yelling at Mom. He was ashamed of himself. Then he remembered crying on his Dad, like a baby or something. His eyes filled again, and he wiped at them angrily.

He looked out the window, realizing it was now dark. Something was smelling really good. Pizza.

His door creaked open, and he looked over, not knowing what to expect. Jethro asked if he could come in, and Tony nodded, still not speaking. The older man sat on his bed.

"I'm sorry." Tony whispered while turning on his side. He clutched his pillow, leaving it partially under his head while he hugged the rest.

"What for?"

"I yelled at Mom." He sniffled. "And I did something bad. I don't know what."

"Why do you think you did something wrong?" Jethro ran his fingers through the younger man's hair.

"You went away. And you didn't come home."

"I had to work, kiddo. Remember? I called and talked to you." Tony nodded. He was going to be in trouble. He just knew it. "So why do you think I was mad at you?"

"My father used to do that. He'd leave for days. It was always because I was bad." He yawned and rubbed his eyes. Gibbs tried to get Tony to look him in the eye, but he wouldn't. Or couldn't. Gibbs wasn't sure.

"I'll never do that, Tony. I may go for a walk, or work on my boat, or send you to your room if I get upset with you. But I'll never leave you." He sighed. "I've still got your six, son."

"A part of me knows that, Dad." Tony's voice trembled. "I don't understand what's wrong with me." He began to tear up again, and Gibbs rubbed his back while he talked out his frustration. "One minute, I understand everything, and the next, it's like I have no control over my emotions. I can't stop crying. I get mad over stuff that I know I should get mad over. I get scared and have no idea why."

"Want me to tell you like the doctor told me?"

"Sure." Tony didn't know if it would help, but maybe if Gibbs could explain this breakdown to him, he'd get it. He thought he understood it the other day, but now he wasn't sure.

"There are some times when you'll be in your intellect. Like you are now. You'll be more like your old self. Able to think things through. Able to understand." Gibbs chuckled. "You'll be the adult you."

"And the other times?" Tony's voice shook. Gibbs was quiet for a moment.

"When you were first abused, your emotions stopped maturing. A part of you stayed back, locked up and protected by the part of you that we all know."

"Multiple personalities?"

"No, you're always you. Not multiple personalities. Just one part of you protected another part of you. When you started to break down, it was because the stress of protecting the, um, Inner Tony, got to be too much for the Outer Tony."

"So what's happening?"

"Your Inner Tony is out of his box, and is going to learn to grow up, and is going to hurt along the way."

"So why do I get all confused, and out of control of myself?"

"Because the Inner Tony part of you is a little boy, son. When you started to protect yourself, it was a defense mechanism. One that your little four year-old mind could understand. You kept the hurt part of yourself safe. And you made a mask that grew up."

"So I'm growing up."

"Yes. Part of you is. The Inner Tony is growing up." The men were quiet for a moment.

"Am I crazy?"

"No. Not crazy. Just, needing help. Help you've needed for a long time, and now you can get it."

"Will I ever be right again?" Gibbs drew in a deep breath.

"I don't know, son. I don't know." They sat in silence for a few minutes.

"Aren't you gonna lie and make me feel better?"

"Nope. Second B." Tony giggled. For some reason, that made him feel better. "Come on." Gibbs patted Tony's shoulder as he stood. "Everybody's downstairs, and the pizza's here."

"Everybody's here?" Tony sat up, a huge smile on his face.

"Yeah. Not seen ya in days." A cloud of sadness crossed Tony's face for a moment. "What's wrong?"

"I can't see them like this. I can't." He started to panic. "What if I screw up?" Gibbs chuckled.

"I already told them. Don't worry. They'll be fine with you."

"They know?" Tony looked sick.

"Of course, Tony." Gibbs sat back down. "Look at me, son." He waited until Tony met his gaze. "I don't care what your sperm donor of a father was like, or what those sorry excuses for relatives have done to you in the past. We're your family now. We love you, and we are going to do this. Together. Got it?"

"Yes, sir." Gibbs tapped his nose.

"Don't call me sir. I work for a living. Now come on. Dinner's getting cold."


	33. Family Time

Disclaimer: Don't own it

Note: Thanks Headbanger Rockstar!

Tony followed Gibbs downstairs, not really sure of what to expect. He wasn't sure of what to do. He was terrified. He knew these folks. They were his family. What worried him was that he didn't know himself.

Lydia had issued stern warnings to the rest of the family. They weren't to treat Tony any differently. He was their brother, and he had enough upset in his life that he didn't need them changing. They were to treat him like normal. He needed them to be his stability.

To his relief, he walked into the kitchen to find that pizza boxes had already been opened, his siblings were all heading toward the table with plates, and he was handed a nephew. He looked down at his little fellow, who grinned and squealed in glee at seeing his Uncle Tony.

"Hey Little Man LJ!" The baby giggled and placed a sloppy open mouthed kiss to the man's cheek.

Dinner was a noisy affair, with all of the Gibbs kids trying to talk over one another. Tony held both of the boys, and the babies had giggled and blown bubbles at him. If the adults hadn't known better, they would have thought the babies had conspired between themselves on the best ways to get Uncle Tony to be happy.

When everyone left, Tony sat on the couch and looked over to his "parents". They were sitting down as well, in chairs that he would come to expect them in months later. Gibbs sat in his recliner, and Lydia sat in the rocker, a light and coffee table between them.

"Thank you." Gibbs looked up from his paper.

"What for?"

"Having everyone over." Gibbs shrugged.

"It's been a tough week. Not over yet, but we needed the down time." Tony sighed in happiness. Life was changing, but he still had a place in his family.

When Tony went to bed hours later, Lydia was already asleep in the nursery. She'd not slept well in a couple of days, and Gibbs insisted she sleep rather than try to drive home. He'd watched her nodding off over a crossword puzzle. She was asleep almost immediately.

Gibbs headed downstairs to sand on his boat. He poured himself a shot and got to work, the repetitive motions soothing his mind as it calmed his body. He'd not realized that Tony didn't understand what was going on in his own mind. He thought that Dr. Shaw had gotten through to him. Perhaps he had to the child part. But not to the intellectual part of him.

That left Gibbs wondering if he'd be explaining it again, or if everything would need to be explained multiple times. He went to a pad of paper and scribbled down a few questions to ask Shaw the next time he spoke to the doctor.

He fell asleep under the boat only an hour later, his mind finally at peace. His phone rang just before four, and their case came to an almost anti-climactic end. Their suspect had walked into a police station, declared his guilt, a duffle bag in hand.

He had then shown them a bottle of juice, told them how he had killed the others with the mix, he admitted to cutting them up, trying to mimic a scene from their last game. He had been the only one to survive their last game. He made it literal. Guilt was tearing at him. Just before the officers who were sneaking up on him from behind reached him, he drank the bottle of juice, collapsing after only a couple of swallows. He was dead when he hit the floor.

Two hours later, after some more sleep, Gibbs cursed when his phone rang again. A new case. This one was fairly non-violent. Thankfully. It was a bank robbery by two men dressed in uniform. Too bad the dog tags caught on film belonged to two men who had been killed in Iraq ten years before.

Jethro went upstairs and knocked on Lydia's door. She answered it, and he let her know he was leaving. He then went to Tony and sat on the edge of his bed. The older man wanted to be sure his son wasn't confused about why he was leaving.

"Hey, Tony." He spoke softly, but Tony still jerked awake, his eyes wide. "I've got to go to work, ok?"

"Ok." He was already falling asleep again.

"You've been so good, Kiddo. I'll be back when I can, ok? If you need me, or need to talk to me, ask Lydia first, ok, but call if you need to, like, if you get scared." He was answered by a snore. He smirked. Things were going to work out. How, he wasn't sure of yet, but they'd work.

####

Tony was more in his adult frame of mind for the next several days, which made everything easier on he and Lydia both, which in turn made it easier for Jethro. He'd had small meltdowns, but he and Lydia were learning his triggers, which was making life easier and less complicated.

It translated to Gibbs being able to talk to him once or twice a day when he was working. The older man felt certain Tony understood he was gone for work, and not because he'd been bad. Which meant Gibbs wasn't worried about Tony, and could focus on the case.

And right now, that was a good thing, as he and his team had the bank robbers cornered. Unfortunately, the guys had guns. Big ones. And they were using them.

Gibbs swore as a bullet ricocheted near his thigh. The boys were on the move. Then silence. He didn't see Ziva. Or Tim. He was going to kill them. Two shots, then a third, and his missing team stood up and shouted "all clear". Indeed, it was. So much for taking those guys alive.

He sighed. No one was hurt, none of his were hurt, anyway. Not even the new guy. Whatever his name was. The case was solved, could be closed, hell, they'd even found the money. Gibbs guessed he couldn't complain. It was over, except for the paperwork and the investigation to be sure that they hadn't used excessive force.

He made the necessary calls, and the team waited. IA showed up, taking in the number of heavy artillery shells were around, and the few shots fired by the MCRT. Fairly obvious, but they still needed to do their end of the job, just to complete the cycle of investigation, not to leave open ends or holes in the chain of evidence, in case any family wanted to say excessive force was used.

####

Gibbs finished up the paperwork and sent the team home. They'd been working now for a week straight, barely getting to go home. He'd made sure Tim, Abby and Ziva got home at some point each night, but he'd only spent one night at home in the last nine days.

He finished his last report and headed to the elevators. He finished his coffee in the little metal box, threw his cup away before he headed out to the parking lot, and drove slowly home. He hoped Tony was in a good mood. And that Lydia wasn't ready to kill him. He'd never expected to be gone so long.

Lydia had finished dinner, and went to check on Tony. He was having a bit of a rough afternoon, as Jethro hadn't been home in quite a while. He'd called, but hadn't been home. That stressed and worried the younger man. And stress made him spiral.

Tony was currently sitting with a puzzle book, doing sudoku's. They were one of his favorite puzzle types, and usually relaxed him. However, he sat now with his lips caught in his teeth, one hand gripping a pencil so tightly his fingers were turning shades of purple, and his other hand caught in his hair.

He was trying so hard to hold himself together. Guilt and shame ate at him. He couldn't keep it up. He could feel the tears coming. He could feel the need to hide, to lay in bed and wait for his Dad to come and get him. To listen for his footsteps in the hall. Sounds he'd not heard in days.

A tear fell, and he bit his lips harder. Lydia crossed the room and came to him. She knelt by him and wrapped her arm around his shoulders.

"Hey, Tony. Why don't you go rest for a bit?" He shook his head.

"I want Dad to come home."

"I know, Hon. I'll call him." Tony nodded and headed up the stairs. He went to bed, laid down, and was asleep in minutes. He could hear his Mom on the phone. He couldn't make out the words, but he knew she was calling Gibbs.

And that made him feel guilty. Dad shouldn't have to worry about him when he was at work. He had to protect himself. Tony wasn't there to watch his six anymore. Exhaustion overcame the guilt and shame, closing the young man's eyes.

He was snoring softly when Gibbs stepped in to check on him less than an hour later. Even in sleep, tears stood in the corners of his eyes. He'd wrapped his arms around his pillow again, and Gibbs made a decision. When Tony fell asleep, he wasn't Tony DiNozzo SFA. He was Tony DiNozzo, little boy. And his little boy needed a bear.

He headed back out, telling Lydia where he was off to. She smiled and nodded her approval as he walked out the door. An hour later, he returned, bag in hand. He'd not been able to make up his mind, but he knew that one of these was going to be a winner.

Gibbs, self proclaimed bastard and hard ass Marine, quietly slipped into Tony's room again. He brushed his boys' hair from his eyes, and then laid a toy by his hand. Tony sighed in his sleep and pulled the soft brown bear to him, fairly snuggling into it. He never roused at all.

Gibbs stood and watched Tony sleep for a few minutes before going back down stairs. He'd been mildly disappointed that Tony wasn't awake when he first arrived a little over two hours ago. But now he was glad for the time. Lydia was brewing coffee, and they were gonna talk.


	34. Teddy bears, andOH, CRAP!

Disclaimer: Still don't own it

Note… all usual notes apply….

Lydia chuckled to herself as she watched Jethro climb the stairs. The man was exhausted. He'd even slept at the office most of the week. She had just heard snippets from his calls, and little bits from here and there… the here was Ducky, and the there was Abby.

Abby had finally found the cyanide in their systems, and Ducky had found evidence of how it was ingested… and then they'd found the single tiny communion cup that the killer had missed. And it was coated with Kool-aid and cyanide.

The man had been quite brilliant on how he'd gone about his crime. In fact, if the group hadn't had an account opened just days before for the desired coffee shop fund, he may have gotten away with it. Ten murders, and he almost walked. Gibbs was furious, and working this case hard.

She heard the shower start, turn off minutes later, she heard him shuffling around upstairs as he dressed. He was getting so tired he wasn't his usual silent self. The red-head was tempted to go upstairs and just tell him to go to bed. But she knew better. The coffee was almost done brewing, anyway.

He stepped into the kitchen, jeans fastened, but with his belt hanging loose still. He wore an undershirt with a button down that he hadn't buttoned yet, and his feet were bare. Lydia had to remind herself that they were just friends. A quick "down girl" to her imagination.

He sat and put on his socks, accepting the cup of coffee she sat before him, and taking a bite of the sandwich she put next to it, giving him "the look". The look he'd already learned meant "eat it or else".

He finished dressing as he ate and downed the coffee. He started to get up for a refill when she beat him to it, motioning for him to stay down.

"You look dead on your feet."

"I feel it." He nodded and drank.

"You could have come home, you know. I'd have stayed anyway."

"I know." He shrugged. "Couple hours sleep, and I was ready to work more."

"What did you wear?" He looked over to her questioningly.

"What did you wear? You're clothes?"

"Oh, I got a bag. It's out in the car." He yawned.

"Go get it. I'll do your laundry, but I'm not cleaning your car." He chuckled and stood, heading back out to his car. She had a point.

He handed her the bag and groaned. She'd put a salad in front of him. Rabbit food. She grinned into the fridge as she put things away. His grousing look explained where Tony got his dirty looks.

"You need it, Jethro. Eat it."

"Fine." He grumped and got a fork full. Something crunched. He looked down in disgust. Then nearly chuckled. Yep, she was used to dealing with a petulant man. Bacon bits. He and DiNozzo agreed that bacon made anything edible.

Lydia refilled his coffee mug and sat down opposite of him. She started to give him a progress report, knowing that he was looking for it. She just wasn't sure what he'd find important, so she'd tell him all of it, and then she'd send him to bed. After he finished that salad.

"He had issues with therapy this morning." Jethro quirked an eyebrow as he chewed. "Dr. Shaw asked him something that he's hidden for years, I have no idea what, but he was really upset afterwards."

"He's gotta talk sometime."

"I know." She sighed. "He's done really well for the past few days, Jethro." She smiled to her friend. "We've figured out some of his triggers."

"Ok." Gibbs ate more salad, trying not to grimace. He really hated spinach. Especially baby spinach with Italian dressing on it. Poor way of ruining bacon bits.

"Well, he reacts to being touched on the back. So don't pat his shoulder unless he knows you're there." Gibbs just nodded. "If he's not out of his room by nine, make him come down. He'll be lost in some childhood terror for the entire day if you don't."

"I feel like I should be taking notes."

"Probably. But I've already written them down." She motioned to the counter where a new notebook sat. "I needed a way to remember, too."

"Ok. What else?"

"He's not able to eat meatloaf. Don't try. He doesn't remember what it is, but something about smelling it bake has him puking and crying."

"That's weird."

"True. But we are talking about Tony." Gibbs nodded in agreement. Once again, she had a point. She took his nod to mean she could continue. "He's not able to deal with raised or angry voices. At all." She looked sharply to Gibbs. He looked back at her, wondering what she was going to say next.

"This means you, sir."

"I don't yell at him."

"No, you just tell him to get a move on. Ask him to come down the stairs, but don't just stand there."

"It's not what you say or the volume at which you say it, Jethro. He reacts to the emotion in your voice. And if you're over tired, you sound angry, whether you are or not."

"I can't always help my voice, Lydia. It's how I talk."

"Would you talk to one of the babies in that tone?" Gibbs furrowed his brow, but then shook his head. "Then don't talk to Tony in that tone." He sighed. He was whipped. And not even getting anything for it.

"What else?"

"That's it." She shrugged.

"That's all that triggers him?"

"No, but that's what we've figured out so far."

"How's he been?"

"The last couple of days have been really good. He's been more himself. More able to do things, less emotional. He's had hard time with you being gone, and this afternoon he kind of tapped out his emotions."

"What happened?"

"Not exactly sure, really." She shrugged. How could she get him to understand that Tony didn't always have a reason or even need one to go into emotional overload. "He was in here alone, doing sudoku's, and I came in to check on him. He was biting his lips, trying really hard to keep control of himself."

Gibbs looked to her, his eyes filled with compassion. She was crying, whether she realized it or not. She shrugged and finally wiped at her eyes.

"I sent him up for a nap. You came home not long after." Jethro nodded and yawned. A nap sounded good. She smiled at him.

"Go up to bed. I'll keep him quiet while you sleep." Gibbs headed up, brushed his teeth, put on sweats, and crawled beneath his covers. He was sleeping in moments.

He barely registered the noise, catalogued it as Tony, and went back into a deep sleep. He never opened his eyes or consciously realized that his boy stood over him for a moment before grinning and leaving, his teddy bear still tucked firmly under his arm, where it would stay the rest of the evening.

Downstairs, Lydia ooh'd and aah'd over the new bear, happy that Tony had woken in a better mood. He was in a childish state, but that didn't matter so much.

Two hours later, Lydia sent Tony upstairs to wake his dad for dinner, and Tony crept in the door, or at least thought he did. He'd made so much noise trying to be quiet, that he'd woken Jethro up. The older man remembered Kelly doing the same thing, and wondered just how Tony would "wake" him.

Gibbs realized Tony was airborne, but determined to not let on that he was awake. He allowed himself just one thought before his bed dipped and an elbow from the tall young man landed just to the side of somewhere unfortunate. "Oh, CRAP."


	35. Gibbs Handles the Bills For a Reason

Disclaimer: Still don't own it.

Note: Thanks to my fabulous beta, Headbanger Rockstar ptbbbbbbbbbbbbbb! Love ya!

Note: Please remember I am moving, and trying to get stuff done… so I'm getting stuff posted while I have a few days, and then I'll be gone until I have internet again. But then I'll be back!

Jethro sat at the table, checkbook and bills before him. He hated to do this for himself, let alone for Tony. But bills and financials were so stressful for the young man on most days that Gibbs had finally just taken over his bills. Making sure his credit score didn't drop wasn't worth the day of panic attacks and nightmares that invariably followed.

It was now November, and beside having Thanksgiving coming up, Gibbs responsibilities were handled. He'd had Tony fill out a change of address form two months ago, and his mail all came to Gibbs' now. Tony'd not been happy at first with losing that part of his independence, but as another month wore on, and he wasn't dreading the start of November like he had September and October, he was grateful.

Today was one of Tony's more stable days, and as Gibbs read through his bills, he found a notice that Tony's lease was up. If he wanted to keep his apartment, he needed to let them know. It was dated for three days from now. Nice way to give advance notice.

He called Tony in, and the young man sat down. Lydia was at work today, and with it being Saturday, probably wouldn't be by at all. She'd been with them for several days straight, and she needed to spend some time doing her errands and housework.

"Do you want to keep your apartment?" Tony looked at him in confusion.

"What?"

"Do you want to keep your apartment? You could move in here. You're really not able to live on your own right now, anyway. Doesn't make sense to keep paying the bills for it."

Gibbs didn't notice at first that Tony's face had gone ashen and his breathing was coming faster. His eyes stared unseeing at some point beyond the older man. When Gibbs did look up, he immediately rose and went to his boy, saying his name, and telling him it would be ok. He had no idea where Tony had gone, but wherever it was, it wasn't good.

"_Do you want to stay living here?" His father stood over him, a riding crop in hand. Tony's lip was bloody from biting it to keep from crying out. Crying only made it worse. _

"_Yes." He was finally able to answer. _

"_You useless, pathetic piece of trash." Sr. Kicked at his side, and Tony could feel at least one rib give way. "You're worse than your mother." Tony felt panic rising in him. Sr. took another drink and came back for another round._

_Tony could feel the crop bite into his back over and over. He'd been allowed to keep his shirt on. The school wouldn't ask questions so long as his skin wasn't broken. Sr. had paid the staff well._

"_You don't deserve a place to live, you…" Sr.'s words were lost in a scream. _It was Tony's.

"Tony!" Gibbs shook Tony, but the young man kept screaming. He had jerked out of the chair when Gibbs touched his shoulder and had crab-crawled into the corner, his eyes still focused on something only he could see. He huddled up, grasping his knees, tears streaming down his face as he continued screaming.

Gibbs could hear his chest beginning to rattle. An asthma attack starting. Great. He grabbed Tony's cup from the table and doused the young man with the cold water. It shocked him out of his panic.

Gibbs knelt before Tony and gathered him close to his chest. The young man began to push him away, muttering unintelligibly.

"Tony, what? What is it, son?" Gibbs finally got the young man to look at him. The depth of pain and sorrow in the younger man's eyes grieved the older man. "What is it, Tony. Tell me."

"I'll go pack." His voice shook. "I'll go. I'll go. I'm sorry." He feebly tried to stand, his legs shaking, arms moving in nonsensical patterns as he tried to explain. Why did Dad pretend he didn't understand?

"Why are you going to go, son? Where?"

"I don't deserve a place to live. I know." He nodded, his eyes still far off and glazed. "I'll go. Can I take a bag of stuff?" Gibbs felt ill. He pulled out his phone and dialed Lydia. He was lost.

She didn't answer, so he left a message. When she checked it several minutes later, she could hear the panic in Jethro's voice, as well as Tony's mutterings. She put Gibbs' driving to shame as she raced to his house. Thankfully there were no police.

Jethro followed Tony up to his room, making sure the younger man didn't collapse.

"Here, Tony." He sat his son on his bed and shook his inhaler. Tony took a puff, not really registering what he was doing. Gibbs looked at his watch and ordered another puff a minute later. Tony took it, and Gibbs realized with a start that Tony was waiting to hear him say he could release his breath. He told him to let it out, and Tony exhaled, his eyes still glazed.

He felt exhausted, but couldn't sleep. He needed to pack. His breathing was still labored, so Gibbs turned on his O2 machine and put the cannula in his nose, hooking it around his ears. Tony didn't seem to notice.

Tony stood and began to pull clothes out of his drawers. Gibbs stayed his hands, and led him back to his bed. The younger man began to fight back weakly. After two half-hearted shoves, he all but collapsed against Gibbs.

"Lay down, Tony. S'ok. It's ok." That seemed to get his attention.

"No, it's not. You want me to go. I can't live in my apartment. And I can't live here. You don't want me here. I need to go."

"Where, Tony? Where do you think you need to go?" Gibbs was covering him with his blankets, trying to soothe his fears as the younger man withdrew into himself.

"Somewhere."

"Tony, I want you here, Kiddo. You're home." Lydia stood outside of the door, not sure what to do. Gibbs had been so involved with Tony that he'd not heard her on the stairs.

"No. Apartment. Leave. You said I had to go."

"No, son. I asked if you wanted to move in here, and not live at your apartment anymore." But Tony was already asleep.

######

"What the hell did you say to him?" Gibbs was barely back in the hall when he encountered an angry Mama Bear.

"Let's go downstairs and talk about this. I don't want to wake him up."

"I'm gonna go check his numbers. You go." Her voice was icy, and her eyes shot daggers. Gibbs just sighed. Yep. She was a woman. No matter what pedestal he'd allowed himself to put her on.

Lydia went in and checked his pulse, checked the oxygenation levels of his blood through the pulse-ox reader she'd just gotten for him, and made sure he wasn't rattling when he inhaled. Satisfied, she turned and left the room quietly. She knew that anything could set him off, but what on earth had Jethro done?

"I was paying bills." Gibbs' voice cracked as he spoke. "There's a notice that his apartment's lease is up, so I asked him if he wanted to move in here. At least, that's what I meant to ask him." He ran his hands through his hair and stared to pace.

Lydia just watched him. So far it all made sense. No need for an attack so far.

"Then, I looked up at him, and he was pale, and his breath was short, and he…." Gibbs broke off, covering his mouth with his hand. Maybe he wasn't what Tony needed. He couldn't even pay his bills without causing him stress.

For the first time since Tony had been in the hospital, Lydia stepped up to Gibbs and wrapped her arms around him tightly. He returned the embrace, burying his face in her neck.

"What's happening to him?" Gibbs spoke softly, but the concern and love was evident. "I don't understand it, Lydia. Just about the time I think I do, something else goes wrong."

"Hey, shhhh." She rubbed his back gently. "It's ok. Shhhh."

"Should he go somewhere else? Would he be better in an institution?" He wasn't expecting the hearty head-slap that jolted his head further into her shoulder.

"Now you listen to me, Mr. Leroy Jethro Gibbs." Her voice was like iron. "You are not going to say that again. You know it's not true. You know he's making progress. You know we're still finding triggers." She had pulled back from their hug somewhat and was looking him in the eye.

"And don't you dare. I mean it, Mister. Don't you dare do something stupid like put him in a home. Not after all the progress he's made. Progress because he has a family that cares." Her eyes held a fire he'd not seen before. A fire that made her beautifully dangerous.

"Ok, so what do we do?" He pulled her back to him, in need of the comfort she offered.

Only an hour later, he'd called up the leasing company and informed them that Tony wasn't going to renew his lease. The team was organized to help pack up his apartment without Tony's knowledge, Jack was on his way up from Sweetwater. He would spend time with his grandson, enabling Lydia to help with the moving. Tony slept on.

When he woke later that evening, he wondered why he was in his bed. He remembered being told to leave. Nothing was making sense, and his overtaxed mind wouldn't let him solve the puzzle.

He burrowed under his covers once again, afraid that if he got up, Dad, no, Boss, no, he couldn't call him that, either, anymore, so he settled on Mr. Gibbs, would make him leave. So he stayed. He was hungry, and he had to pee. But he was terrified to move.

His muscles had begun to cramp again, and he was grinding his teeth, but he didn't realize it. He only knew a paralyzing fear. He'd been put to bed, and he wanted to stay, and that meant following rules exactly. But he didn't know the rules.

Tony lost track of time. He could have laid there for an hour, or five. He began to ache with the need to relieve himself. But he couldn't move. He was more afraid of moving than he was of messing himself.

Gibbs and Lydia were sitting in the living room, silence as usual being their companion. He'd heard something, but then dismissed it. Some strange noise. Most likely from the road. It grew in volume, and Lydia looked over to him.

"What is that?"

"I don't know." They rose and headed up the stairs. It was getting louder the closer they got to Tony's room. Jethro opened the door, and gasped.

Tony was once again rigid in his bed, his hands bluish from their tight hold on his blanket. His eyes were screwed shut, but what really drew attention was his face. He was grinding his teeth so tightly that the side of his face visible from the door was bruised.

Lydia pushed past her friend and knelt by the young man. She started talking to him long before she began to remove the blankets from his stiff fingers.

"Hey, Sweetheart. We're here. Me and Dad." Tony's breathing was becoming erratic. "Don't worry, Honey. It's all ok."

He felt her move the blanket and panic gripped him tighter. He could feel his body release it's long-held fluid, and he forced back the tears of shame he felt burning in his eyes. Now he'd really done it.

"Hey." She motioned with her head to Jethro, who came to her side, helping to rid his son of the now soaked blankets and sheets. Tony continued to grind his teeth, seeming to be unaware of it.

"Son, what's wrong, huh? Can you tell us?" Gibbs talked gently to him, like he would to LJ or Oded if they were having a temper. Which at nearly a year old, was becoming frequent with the onset of teething.

Tony whimpered as Gibbs took off one of his socks. It hurt to have the man touching him. Physically hurt. Tony felt his other leg being moved to allow his sock to be taken, and pain seared through his abdomen. He groaned and whimpered again.

"What's wrong, Honey?" Lydia began to remove his shirt. He had soaked himself completely. "I want to give you one of your pills, ok? Remember, your don't be upset pills?"

Tony tried to nod, and both Gibbs and Lydia could see the muscles in his neck tense with his attempt.

"Ok, then, Buddy. I need for you to open your mouth. Can you do that for me?" He relaxed his jaw just a bit, but not enough for her to slip a pill between his teeth. She wasn't sure he could swallow it anyway.

Looking down the bed toward Gibbs, she mouthed "call Ducky". Gibbs nodded and did the unthinkable. He sent a text. "Tony. Emergency. My house. Now" and hit send.

Ducky had gone to the McGee's to check on LJ, who was suffering from the common maladies of teething, making he and his parents miserable. He checked his phone, wondering who would send a text. His eyes flew wide when he recognized the sender. With a quick farewell to the young family, he hurried outside.

Thankfully it was only ten blocks, and he was to Gibbs house in mere minutes. He rushed up the stairs, not sure of what to expect. He certainly wasn't expecting to find Gibbs stripping Tony down, or Lydia washing his urinated-on body.

Tony's cheeks had turned an angry bluish-purple color, and his jaws had to be causing him excruciating pain. Only whimpers and groans escaped him, though. Gibbs sat him up partially, using his body to prop the younger man up, and pulled his shirt up.

When Gibbs had to lift his arms, Tony finally let a loud cry of pain loose from his tense lips.

Ducky ordered the pair outside, and began to examine his nephew. It was hard to see the robust young man like this. The elderly ME stomped down his familial concern and looked Tony over with a physician's eye.

He had been cared for, that was evident. He'd been given his inhaler, as it sat next to his bed, the cap still off the end. He still wore the oxygen cannula, and though his fingers were tense and stiff, they were not off-colored. Ducky coaxed his eyes open, and his pupils dilated correctly.

Ducky had already seen that giving him one of his pills would not work. He was too far gone in this panic for that. He called for Lydia, and she came back in quickly. Just as he suspected, the two were in the hall just outside the door.

"We need to give him a shot, but I'll need help." He looked at her pointedly. "He'll begin to thrash. And I need him held down."

"Can Jethro help?"

"He was looking so poorly before, that unless he's absolutely required, I'd rather he was not here." She nodded, not liking, but understanding.

Ducky filled the syringe, wiped Tony's skin with alcohol, and gave the shot. And his tense muscles would not allow for more than a simple jerk of the arm in which he was stuck.

"There, there, my boy." He brushed the hair back from Tony's face. "What got you so worked up, I wonder?" Tony's body was already relaxing, and Lydia brought Jethro back into the room.

The older agent was shaking. He'd never seen anything so scary. Even when Tony first had his breakdown, it wasn't this bad. He just wanted to hold him and make it all go away. Make it all better. And he didn't know how. That fact alone terrified Gibbs.

He sat on the edge of Tony's bed and finished what he had begun. He removed Tony's sodden shirt and carefully washed his chest. He waited while Lydia opened the door to his room and made sure there was a clear path.

Ducky carried the oxygen tubing to Gibbs room, and took over Tony's bath. The young man wasn't unconscious, but he was close to it. Confusion shown on his face as Ducky washed him. The older ME reassured him that all was well.

When he was finally dried and dressed again, he slept. Once he was asleep, and his bed changed, Gibbs carried him back to his own bed, where he took up a post, refusing to leave his son's side.

######

He was warm and groggy. He hurt. His entire body ached, especially his head. He tried to move, but he ached so badly that with the slightest movement, he moaned.

"Hey, Bud." The voice was quiet, but it was his Dad. "Got some Tylenol here for you. It's liquefied. Doesn't taste too good, but can I give you some?"

"-ah." He felt a cold pipette at his lips, and opened them. A chalky mess flowed in, and he nearly choked on it before he was able to swallow.

Another pipette was held to his lips, and he tried to refuse.

"It's juice, son. Would you like some?" Not yet capable of opening his eyes, he parted his lips again and let the juice flow in. He swallowed and opened his mouth again, hoping for more.

Gibbs gave a mirthless smirk and put some more of the juice in to the straw and held it to his son's mouth. Letting it drain, he thought of what to say.

"Are you feeling better, Tony?" What a dumb question, but it was the only one he could think of.

"Hurts." He spoke through clenched teeth. Gibbs didn't think he had a choice at the moment.

"I know." Gibbs stroked his forehead with his thumb. "We had a misunderstanding before. Do you remember that?"

"You want me to leave." Tony began to tense up again.

"No, Tony. I want you to live here, with me. I want you to live here, son. Stay here in this room, and have dinner with me, and talk to me when I work on my boat."

"Don't have to leave?"

"No, son. You don't have to leave." Gibbs sighed when Tony began to relax again. "What happened before, Tony? Can you tell me?"

"Can I have more juice?"

"Sure. Here." Gibbs gave Tony nearly half of the glass, when the young man shook his head slightly when Gibbs tried to give him another straw full. "Ok. Done for now."

"He hit me."

"Your father?"

"Yeah. And he made me leave."

"Yeah? How old were you?"

"I was 12, it was when he made me go to school."

"The boarding school?"

"Yeah." Tony tried to move his jaw, and gasped in agony.

"You hurt your head pretty bad, Tony. Don't try to open your mouth yet. Give it some time to relax."

"What did I do?"

"You were grinding your teeth." Tony groaned a reply and fell back to sleep.

Gibbs stood and went back downstairs. Tony would be ok for now. Now Gibbs had to get himself straightened around. He sat at the table in front of the plate Lydia set down for him.

"Eat, Gibbs."

"He's so sore, Lydia."

"Did you talk to him?"

"Some. Think he'll be ok." He ate a few bites, barely able to swallow.

"Go on. Go sand your boat. Have a bourbon. Just don't get drunk, ok?"

"What if I don't hear him?"

"I'm not going anywhere tonight. You need that boat. Go." He didn't argue any more.


	36. The Family Pulls Together Again

Disclaimer: Still don't own it… in fact, at this moment I don't really own anything. WOW

Note: Special thanks to my beta, Headbanger Rockstar! Thank you so much for proofing all of this in such a short amount of time! You're the best! Love you! !

Gibbs fell asleep under his boat after four shots of bourbon and several hours of sanding. Lydia came down to check on him and covered him with the dusty blanket Abby had drug down for him. She had already been up to check on Tony, and had already called Ducky and let him know that Tony seemed calmer.

The red-haired woman walked quietly up the basement stairs and sat at the table. She sipped coffee while staring down at a crossword. Then she laughed at herself, wondering when a "good" Saturday night began to revolve around making sure a grown man was sleeping soundly and a new crossword puzzle.

She sat thinking while she did her puzzle. Things had been different for the Gibbs family. Nothing overt, but something very subtle. Something it took her nearly an entire puzzle to figure out.

They had been so busy lately, that they'd not been coming over for their Friday or Saturday movie nights. Months of six day work weeks, Tony recovering, Breena being basically bed-ridden due to a difficult pregnancy, and the two babies teething were taking a toll on the family. One that was stressing them all.

So she started making calls. First she called Tim and Abby. They happily agreed to lunch the next day. Then she was on the phone with Ziva. She had the same response. She was happy to be asked. Since Tony's breakdown, none of the Gibbs kids were sure if they should just drop in, or if they needed to call first. It was time to correct the problem. Especially with the holidays coming up.

####

Gibbs woke to some delicious smell. He sniffed. Sniffed again. Was that banana bread? No way. But sure enough, Lydia was up to her elbows in baked goods.

"What're you doing?" She smiled at him from where she was stirring a huge pot of chili.

"The kids'll be here soon. Go take a shower."

"Today? But it's…"

"Sunday. I know." She smiled at him. "They'll be here for lunch and games. Now go. And wake Tony up while you're up there. Make sure he knows he needs to get a shower and get ready for his brother and sisters to visit."

Still confused and feeling a bit like he was being railroaded into something, he went up to do as he was asked. He woke Tony, who seemed to understand. Or he hoped the young man did.

Unbeknownst to Gibbs, Lydia went up the stairs once she heard the shower turn on and knocked on Tony's door. He answered, his voice shaky.

"I'm awake."

"Can I come in?"

"Yeah." He was still sitting on the edge of his bed. He looked in confusion at his clothes. "This isn't what I had on yesterday."

"No, Hon. It's not." She spoke softly. "What do you remember about yesterday?" Tony thought carefully for a moment.

"Gibbs said I needed to leave."

"No, Sweetie. He wants you to live here. He wants you to let go of your other apartment and stay here with him." She watched him think this through.

"So I don't have to go?"

"No, you don't have to go." Tony nodded, obviously thinking.

"I hurt really bad. What happened?"

"You had a really bad flashback. Your dad called me, and we took care of you last night."

"He didn't want to deal with me, did he." Tony looked down at the floor.

"No, Tony, he helped you so much. He needed help, so he called me. We both helped you." She patted his knee. "So now get dressed. Your family should be here soon, and they're anxious to see you."

"They're coming? And Dad's okay with it, even though I screwed up?"

"Yep. Now. Do you need help, or can you move well enough?" Tony blushed.

"I think I need help." Lydia smiled back.

"Let me go knock on your Dad's door and get him over here. But, until he's ready, what shirt and pants do you want today?"

#####

Gibbs helped Tony down the stairs and got him settled onto the couch. Lydia brought him some of her fresh bread and a big glass of milk. Tony smiled his thanks and took a small bite. He winced as he tried to chew. Lydia watched for a moment before coming back with a bowl and spoon.

She took his slices of bread and cut them up small before pouring his milk over the pieces. He smiled the best he could at her and let it all turn to mush before he began to take small bites that he could mash with his tongue and not chew.

"Thanks." Gibbs whispered to her when she came back into the kitchen.

"You're welcome." Her breath caught a moment later when his arm slipped around her waist and his lips brushed her cheek quickly.

"So glad you're part of our family." His eyes twinkled. "You're a great Mom for us." He winked at her, his smile growing as she turned so red he wondered briefly if she had blood left anywhere but her face. He'd never seen her look more beautiful.

The moment was broken when the front door opened and Abby ran in to Tony, flinging her arms around him. She plopped her son in his lap, hugging both of them.

Tim grinned as he walked into the kitchen, putting a big bag of chili additions on the table.

"I'll just leave you two alone." Gibbs laughed and walked to the younger man, giving him a playful head-slap before pulling him in for a quick hug.

"Be nice to your mother." With that, he went to go grab his grandson. Tim grinned at Lydia, watching as she fumbled for words.

"Don't worry about it. If he didn't like you, he wouldn't make you miserable." Lydia laughed and shook her head. Jethro thought the kids weren't like him at all. She continued laughing as Abby came in.

"What's up?"

"Not much, Abby." Lydia and the younger woman grinned at one another as they heard LJ shriek with laughter. "Let me guess, Grandpa?"

"Who else?" Gibbs came in a few minutes later and swooped a giggling LJ down toward Lydia.

"Say hi to Lydia." The baby boy's mouth opened wide and he squealed in excitement as Lydia took him. She danced about with him for a moment, singing a quick version of "Put Another Nickel In."

LJ kept laughing and trying to press open mouthed kisses to her neck. She called him a slobbery little boy, and the others just laughed.

"Hey!" A muffled holler came in from the other room.

"What is it, Tony?" Gibbs headed that way.

"I got lonely." Jethro sat down and talked to Tony for a few minutes until LJ was returned to his Uncle. And it just got better when Oded came with Ziva and was added to the "Uncle Tony Sandwich".

The young man laughed as he was kissed and prodded and "tickled" by tiny fingers. Abby snapped pictures, Ziva threatened to break his fingers if he let Oded fall, and Lydia laughed. Tim and Gibbs stood back, nodding to one another.

Neither would admit it, but Lydia was perhaps the best thing to happen to their family since the addition of the babies. They'd never tell Gibbs, but most of them, as in all of them except for Tony, had a pool going in regards to when Gibbs would break down and ask Lydia to be more than a friend.

And the three un-Gibbs kids that worked with a relaxed Dad every day wanted it sooner rather than later.


	37. Moving Tony

Lydia had a full house today. Tony was home, as usual, but she also had Oded and LJ for the next four hours while Abby and Ziva were packing Tony's apartment. The two women had the duty of getting everything cleaned and packed, so that the one day the entire team could help, he'd be moved.

They packed away most of his suits, dress shirts, his shoe collection, and even his ties. All of his informal and lounge wear was put into separate boxes to go to Gibbs house. They got his kitchen packed. He wouldn't need his dishes or pans. His movies were next. Gibbs had given them strict orders that if it was above PG-13, he wasn't allowed to watch it, and if it was violent PG-13, it had to go in storage.

Abby sighed with regret as most of his collection was packed away. They left out most of his knick-knacks, making sure that Gibbs and Lydia could decide what to take, and what to leave. The two had decided that they wanted to make a spot for Tony that he could understand was "really" his.

They packed his bathroom and decided it was a good thing they weren't allowed to tease Tony about what they found. Abby thought she had seen everything at their local adult store, but she obviously hadn't. She and Ziva laughed loud and long over the variety pack of condoms. It was indeed a variety of colors and, to Abby's amusement, flavors. The box got pitched. Some things Gibbs just didn't need to know about.

Tim was trying like mad to get the final three chapters of his latest work finished. The publishers were getting pesky, bothering him on a fairly regular basis for something else. So he'd given himself a deadline. And no one messed with McGee's deadlines. Abby was glad to be rid of him for a bit.

Jethro was downstairs working on his boat, where she'd sent him, almost in time out. The man was so nervous and upset since Tony had his last episode where he misunderstood about moving, that Gibbs was focusing so hard on being nice and kind that he was unnerving Tony and causing a different kind of stress.

When it was time for lunch, she sent Tony to get him, and the younger man tromped happily down the stairs. He looked excitedly over his dad's handiwork. Gibbs grinned back at him. He missed his second in command, but there were times when this new Tony's enthusiasm was just too much fun.

"What ya doin', Tony?"

"It's lunch. Wow. You've really gotten a lot done."

"Yep. Still lots to do, though." Tony ran his hand along one of the ribs and caught a splinter. He drew his hand back quickly.

"Ouch." He picked it out, then looked mutinously at the skeletal boat. "No biting." Jethro could hear the humor in his son's voice. Then Tony looked to him. "Can I help?"

"After lunch. Come on."

"Okay." Up the stairs they went.

Tony had been sort of stuck in his childish mode since his panic, for which Gibbs still felt guilty. He'd not known of his father's kicking him out. Had he known, he would have asked in a different way.

Lunch today was mac and cheese, in honor of their small guests. The boys were already in their high chairs, fingers happily squishing noodles, holding spoons in one hand, eating with the other. Lydia sat between them, trying to get actual bites into their mouths.

The guys sat down and filled their plates. A stack of buttered bread sat next to the pan, and Gibbs found himself wondering why, in a meal of nothing but noodles and cheese, was bread so desired. But even he had to admit that mac and cheese required bread and butter. One of those strange laws of nature.

Tony went back downstairs with Gibbs once lunch was over. He was yawning, but so eager to help, that Jethro didn't want to go against what he'd said earlier and tell Tony to go to bed.

The young man wasn't "helping" long when he started to get cranky. He didn't want to just sand. He didn't want to help saw. He didn't know what he wanted. So Jethro took him up and got him settled for naptime. Amid sobs and denials of his exhaustion, he fell asleep.

Lydia was working at something at the table when Gibbs came back down the stairs. She smirked at him, and he wondered if she'd say the "I told you so" he could already hear. When he began to scowl, she chuckled. She didn't have to say it aloud. He knew.

####

Jackson called later that evening, letting Jethro know he would be there the next morning. Gibbs already had the storage unit, a U-Haul so they only had to make one trip, and his truck was gassed so Lydia could drive it back to the house after they had what they agreed would go to the house.

Gibbs called to be sure the team was still off rotation, and receiving the response he hoped for, he called his other family members. The girls would be at his house sometime in the afternoon, and would make dinner for everyone. Tim would arrive about 10 AM, the same with Ducky and Jimmy. Jack would take Tony to the zoo all by himself for some Grandpa time before the others arrived, so he would be none the wiser.

Lydia told Tony about Jack coming in the morning, and the young man fairly bounced with excitement. He rushed through his shower, being sent back in twice… to use soap, and to wash his still-dry hair. Gibbs laughed as he watched the tall man fairly run through the house.

"Tony, get to the table for your snack!" He'd been waking with low blood sugar due to decreased appetite and increased activity. So a small snack had become an evening ritual. That, and a "full" belly seemed to cut down on nightmares. And anything that cut down on nightmares was a welcome thing.

They had also discovered that he slept better if both Lydia and Jethro were in the house when he went to bed. Or at least when he went upstairs. If Lydia left before he headed up, he fretted and paced until Jethro called her to be sure she was home. And Tony would insist on talking to her.

If Jethro was gone at work, he would receive a phone call from Lydia, talk with her a moment, only to have Tony take his turn and be completely upset, fairly begging his dad to come home. And Jethro's hand would itch to head-slap the next person he saw.

Tony sat and ate his snack quickly. He didn't even bother with his usual talking and jokes. Jethro had never seen him be anxious to go to bed.

"What's got you so ready for bed tonight?"

"Grandpa's coming!" Tony looked at his dad like he was dumb. Lydia laughed. It was the look only a child could throw. The one to make parent's everywhere feel so stupid. "And the sooner I get to bed, the sooner he gets here!"

True to form, Tony finished his snack and brushed his teeth. He then went to bed and lay beneath his covers. Jethro and Lydia went to say their good nights, and closed the door, laughing quietly. Hours later, after laying and counting sheep, telling himself stories, reading one of his favorite books, and being told repeatedly by Jethro to go back to bed, he finally fell asleep.

Lydia called to let Jethro know she was home, and the two talked for longer than Jethro could remember being on the phone. When they hung up, he went upstairs, all the time wondering when he'd turned into a chatting teenager who ran up a phone bill just to talk to his girlfriend. Then he mentally head-slapped himself. Friend. Talk to his friend.

####

Gibbs was up at sunrise, the same as always. He checked on Tony, shaking his head at the odd position the younger man slept in. There was no way that was comfortable.

Jack arrived about 8, and called upstairs for Tony. The young man sat up in bed, a huge grin plastered on his face. He threw back his covers and raced down the stairs, barely remembering to throw off his cannula and CPAP before leaving his room. Jack just laughed.

The day went off without a hitch. Tony's old apartment was emptied, his things in storage, and his bed replacing the one he had been sleeping on in Gibbs' house. Jethro and Lydia had gone through his knick-knacks and chosen about 20 for him to have in his room. His Magnum cars, a Sammy Sosa bobble head, his replica of James' Bond's Aston Martin, and a chess set he'd gotten from one of his frat brothers several years ago.

His room was all set up, clothes in drawers, three suits and matching shirts and ties hung in his closet, and his stuff scattered around in a disorganized way, just the way he'd liked it before. Jethro put a small TV in his room, along with a DVD player and several G and PG movies.

When Tony came racing in the house, Lydia met him and told him to take his shoes off. He'd played with some of the animals today in the petting zoo, and was really messy. He scowled. He didn't want to take them off. He wanted to show his dad his new stuffed dolphin.

Jack had taken him to the zoo, and he had spent the day completely enthralled with what he saw. Especially the dolphins. Jack had bought several cups of fish, and Tony had spent two hours staring at the friendly creatures, feeding them fish, and laughing at their antics.

The other animals had been interesting, but the dolphins had been fantastic! When Jack had finally pulled him from the large tank, Tony had nearly cried. When the men stepped into the gift shop on their way out, Tony only had eyes for one thing. It was a large plush dolphin. He named it Squeaker, because the dolphins had squeaked at him.

When Jethro showed him to his "new" room, Tony was surprised and thrilled, turning around and looking at everything, mouthing "wow" several times as he turned. He cleared a spot next to his Magnum cars and put Squeaker up on the shelf.

He came down to dinner and sat with his siblings. They had tacos, and he thrilled in making the "perfect" tacos. When he finished, he scooped up LJ, who was learning to stand, and helped the boy to stand. Of course, Uncle Tony had to hold him firmly, but LJ giggled and squealed as he stood, picking up first one foot, and then the other.

Abby snapped a picture, just in time for LJ to lift up both legs, his hands spreading out wide, his face open in a wide smile. He looked like he was flying to his Uncle, and Tony had an expression that nearly mirrored his tiny nephew's. Life was perfect in the Gibbs' household.


	38. Oded Gets His Chance

Disclaimer: Don't own it…

Note: Thanks to Headbanger Rockstar, my beta. You're awesome, dude!

Note. Just to point out, a dude by definition is an infected hair on an elephant's butt. And we like calling one another dude. What does that say about our mental state? LOL So, from one hairy elephant's butt to another, YOU'RE AWESOME! (That goes for anyone strange enough to find this funny…)

LJ sat with Oded, happily playing dinosaurs. Of course, they had no dinosaurs, but their hands were perfect. LJ growled back in his throat and Oded giggled, giving his own comical growl back. Both boys were growing up.

Both were proud that they could sit up all by themselves. LJ could tell the difference between colors, and he could see all the way across the room. Those skills let him tell Oded all sorts of fun things, and they could find anything. If he couldn't see it, Oded could smell it or hear it.

One thing they both knew was that Uncle Tony was sad. And he wasn't sad like their mommy's got sad sometimes. He was sad in a bad way. In a heart-hurt way. Worse than when Mama wouldn't give Oded the smelly thing to chew on. It had been covered in dirt, and felt amazing. He cried when Mama took it away. Uncle Tony was more sad than that.

"Hey, Oded?" LJ sat chewing on his fingers. Oded knew it because he could hear the slobber in his voice.

"Yeah? What ya need?"

"What are we going to do about Uncle Tony?"

"I don't know, man. He's so sad." Oded looked ready to cry as he answered.

"I know. Can we make him smile?"

"I'm sure we can." LJ offered his friend a goopy raspberry in happiness. "Nice one, LJ."

"Thanks. I've been practicing."

"Nice. Maybe that's something we can do! He seems to like those spitties."

"That he does." LJ wiggled his eyebrows, knowing that Oded couldn't see him, but it was a habit.

"We could bop him on the head with toys. He seems to like it when Grandpa smacks his head."

"We could, but Mommy told me not to hit."

"You hit?" Oded's voice held his wonder and amazement.

"Yeah." LJ grinned. "I whapped Daddy with my teddy."

"Wow." Oded giggled and rocked back, laying down and wriggling with laughter.

The two continued chatting, moving from Uncle Tony to spiders, and then on to cameras and why Mommy and Mama felt the need to use them so much.

"So, think they're solving the world's problems?" Lydia tapped Jethro on his knee, and he looked over to where his grandsons were playing. He grinned.

"Soon as they do, I'll throw the ticker-tape parade."

#####

Oded was in love. His first crush. And she was an older woman. An older woman who smelled of White Shoulders perfume, fabric softener, and on occasion, he got to snuggle her not long after a shower, and her hair smelled like strawberries.

She spent a lot of time with Grandpa and Uncle Tony. Her name was Lydia, and she was perfect. Especially when she let him gum at something yummy. Like fruit in his mesh bag. It was textured, to help his teeth come out.

Mama bought it, and she put it in the freezer. She must have told Lydia how to use it, because she got it just right. Lydia was brilliant. Lydia was nice. And she helped Uncle Tony laugh.

Uncle Tony had been sad for so long. Days. Maybe even weeks. And weeks was a long, long time.

He and LJ had a serious discussion the night the adults were eating some noisy and delicious smelling food called "tacos". They needed to make Uncle Tony happy again. And everyone knows that babies are the best at making people smile.

So they came up with a plan. And since he got to help take care of Uncle Tony today, he got the first crack at their plan. He wondered for a moment if he could blow enough bubbles. Or if he needed another drink… He tried, and yep! He had enough slobber for at least ten good bubbles.

Time for Operation Make Uncle Tony Smile. Oded got carried away with his thoughts and shrieked in glee, waving his hand and kicking his feet as he lay on his back, his new alligator flipping and flopping as he cheered his own brilliance. Peter Pan had NOTHING on he and his best friend LJ.

"What's got you so happy, Little Man?" Uncle Tony picked him up and blew a bubble on Oded's belly. Oded couldn't understand a bit of his beloved uncle's gibberish, but he tried.

He stared at Uncle Tony, his eyes not working, but so focused and intense that Tony started to make faces at him. It took a moment, but Tony began to giggle at his own antics.

Oded began to talk, as quickly as he could. Uncle Tony had to understand him! He was making that weird noise that must mean he was happy! Oded put his hands out to the big face before him and felt around. Yep. He was smiling.

Oded gasped and giggled, so proud of his uncle for smiling that he kicked and clapped. Tony began to talk to him, and Lydia smiled from the kitchen where she stood washing the breakfast dishes.

Tony spoke in baby-talk, his voice high and funny, and she nearly dropped the dishes more than once.

"He did?" Oded gasped and gurgled.

"No. He didn't use your milk in his coffee." Oded squealed, and Lydia looked over to see him putting his hands in front of his mouth, as if in disgust. This was too funny.

"Oh, my gosh. Doesn't he know where that comes from?" Oded shook his head, as if he understood, and Tony roared with laughter.

"That's so gross, Oded! Oh my gosh! And your mommy lets him kiss her?" Oded pulled his legs up to his tummy and screamed with laughter. His face was wide, his arms pulled tight, his legs jerking up and down. Pure happiness radiated from his little body.

Of course, what little Oded said and heard was completely different.

He thought they were talking about something fun for Grandpa! Oded had opened the conversation with a bubble, one so big that LJ, who was four days older, couldn't have done. Of course, he was laughing at Uncle Tony for being so quiet.

"I think we should blow bubbles on Grandpa's belly." And Uncle Tony gurgled in his agreement.

"And, we should get my bottles, and fill them up with that smelly stuff he likes to drink. Then, we can put bananas in his hair! Bananas in your hair feels so good, and it makes Mama give you a bath. And, don't tell LJ, but I think baths are the best. So warm and nice." He leaned forward and wiggled his eyebrows. "And, you get to change your clothes. Getting that messy has it's perks."

He shook with laughter, and was thrilled when Uncle Tony giggled and gurgled back. Uncle Tony sure was cool! He was so smart, especially for one of the big people!

"And then, for the best thing, we can let him stay up late!" He pulled himself up into a cheer, so happy when Uncle Tony pulled him close and hugged him.


	39. Trouble In Paradise

Disclaimer: Don't own it

Note: Thanks, Headbanger Rockstar! Love ya! Ptbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb!

Lydia was nearly in tears. Oded had been wailing for the past hour, LJ was trying to sleep well before naptime, but his cousin kept waking him up, and Tony was not having one of his better days. The young man had a nightmare, and woke up crying, very much in his child-mind. And he'd stayed there. All day.

Jethro was, pardon the expression, like a goat with a burr in a hoof. Mean. Tim and Abby had gone to a book signing at a small book store two hours away, Ziva was getting her apartment cleaned while Oded was away. The younger woman had called Lydia nearly in tears the night before asking if the older woman could take her son for a couple of hours so she could get something done.

Oded was teething and clingy. LJ was teething and clingy. Tony was clingy and weepy from the babies crying. He was in a continual state of overwhelm from the moment he woke up. And Jethro was being a bastard. A real live, walking, talking, Son of a Motherless Goat, bastard.

Yes, it was the teams first day off in two weeks. Lydia had quit her job, as she was rarely able to go, anyway. She and Tony had discussed it when he was in his adult mind, and then she'd discussed it with Jethro. While understanding, he was upset.

He felt guilty that she was now making only a third of what she was making before. He felt relief at knowing she was there every day. He wasn't sure how to feel.

He and Tony now had a full time housekeeper/nurse/babysitter for Jethro's grandsons/cook/pain in the ass. He'd asked her to do something simple. Go down to his workshop, get the manila folder from the narrow sliding drawer under the workbench, and bring it to him. She got into the wrong drawer.

So now he had to reorganize his tools. Every single one of his screwdrivers was moved. Really. Open a drawer. See that it has tools. Shut the drawer. Go to the next one. He fumed and griped, knowing all the while that he was being unfair. After all, he depended on her, and if he chased her away, he wasn't sure what he was going to do. But the bastard in him had been suppressed for far too long. It needed out.

####

Lydia went to the door to call him up for lunch, and he held up a cup of coffee rather than answer her. She stopped herself from slamming the door, but not from thinking, "Oh, look, a Tool with his tools."

She got the three "kids" fed and down for a nap, and started doing laundry. Looking at the clock, she almost sighed in relief. Tim and Abby should be back soon.

Lydia was nearly done ironing the last of Jethro's clothes when she heard him on the stairs. She considered meeting him in the hall and telling him to keep it down, but no. If he woke the kids up, he could get the kids back to sleep. She was getting grumpy herself.

He opened the fridge, expecting to find his sandwich there. Nothing. So this was how it was going to be.

Jethro slammed the door to the fridge, glaring at his "other half" as the kids were teasing him these days. "Other half, my ass." He groused in his mind. "If she were my other half, she'd have understood about the damned drawers. Maybe, though, she's the moron half."

"Look in the microwave, Agent Gibbs." Her voice was like ice. So he looked. And felt bad for all of two seconds. She'd set meatloaf, mashed potatoes, green beans and cornbread in the nuke. Damn.

"Hmmm." He grumped. "Beans."

"Oh, you gripe more than some of the old men who come in for therapy. Just heat it and eat it."

#####

When Tim and Abby arrived only fifteen minutes later, there was a decided chill in the house. And not from the air conditioning. Gibbs still sat at the table, and while he spoke…nicely…to the McGee's, he wasn't his usual self.

Lydia filled them in on LJ's morning, telling them when his last change was, what he had for lunch, how long he'd been asleep, and when his last dose of baby Tylenol was. She looked ready to cry.

Tim when to talk to Gibbs, while Abby handled Lydia. When the young couple finally left, Abby had just one thing to say, and her husband agreed whole heartedly.

"I am about ready to lock them in a room and not let them out until they're over it."

####

"I'm sorry that you're feelings are hurt." Gibbs stood at the edge of the table where she sat balancing Tony's checkbook.

"You're sorry my feelings are hurt?" She looked up at him, disbelief on her face. "What kind of apology is that? That's like me saying 'sorry you're an ass'."

"I'm not an ass."

"No, you're a bastard." They stood glaring at one another. He finally left, muttering something about a starchy old bitch on his way out.

"I'll show you a starchy old bitch, Leroy Jethro Gibbs."

########

Gibbs got up and readied himself for work the next morning. He was going to leave before Lydia came. He knew he shouldn't, but Tony was sleeping soundly, and well, he was 38 years old.

He had a meeting with Vance first thing, and he sat across from the director. And he got uncomfortable. Itchy. Scratchy. Somewhere he didn't want to think about. And he certainly couldn't scratch it.

His meeting ended and he fairly ran to the bathroom. She didn't. But she did. He took off his boxers and swore. She did. They were starched.

###

Lydia knew the call was coming. She was waiting for it. And she looked happily down at her can of starch. A gentle starch it was, one that kept Gibbs shirts wrinkle free for hours.

When he called, she answered with a sweet "Hi, Honey. How is your day?" That really burned him. She never called him anything but Jethro. When she said "Honey", it was like vinegar rolling from her tongue.

"You wish! What the hell were you thinking?"

She held the phone from her ear for several minutes while he yelled, unaware that the entire floor could hear him through the walls of the bathroom. Several probationary agent's eyes flew wide as they listened to the most terrifying agent rip into some poor person.

Those same agents were confused as to why Ziva and Tim were laughing and in near hysterics. Wouldn't they bear the brunt of his bad mood? He may be their dad, but he could be harsh and cold. And they were laughing. Much was explained when Ziva looked at Tim and finally gasped out,

"Way to go, Mom." Tim had already called Abby, and his wife was coming off of the elevator as Gibbs continued shouting into his phone.

"You say you're not a starchy old bitch? Then why the hell did you starch my boxers?"

Abby clapped her hand over her mouth, trying hard to not shriek. She motioned frantically to Tim, who finally pushed his way past several gawking fellow agents. Ziva looked to Abby, still laughing. She pulled out her purse and waved a $20.00 in the air.

"You win, Abby." The agents around them went back to their desks and did their best to ignore Gibbs the rest of the day. If they wondered how Tim endured the multiple head-slaps with increasing force, they kept it to themselves. But everyone wondered at the woman who had finally cowed Leroy Jethro Gibbs.

####

That evening, Gibbs sat down to his favorite meal. A fire roasted sweet potato, medium rare steak, no vegetables, and beer. Tony was over at Ziva's, and she wouldn't be brining him back for another two hours. They were doing pizza and a movie. Some movie called "Cars". Right up Tony's alley.

Lydia sat at home, pinking shears in hand. She'd finished sewing one teddy bear, and it was time to start the second. She'd not yet decided which one Oded and LJ would get, but they were two different colors. On her table in a new vase, sat a lovely bunch of her favorite flower, the lovely daffodil.

She answered her phone without looking at the caller ID.

"Hello?"

"Hey." They sat in silence for a moment.

"Enjoy your dinner?"

"Yeah. It was good." He cleared his throat. "Listen, um, I'm sorry I got so mad."

"Me, too. Sorry I starched your boxers."

"So am I." She chuckled and he huffed at her.

"What say we start these last couple of days over?"

"Nah." She could hear the smile in his voice. "You've already got me trained pretty well. We restart, we gotta go through it all again."

"That would be a problem." She smiled, and he could hear it. He felt relief flow through him.

"See you tomorrow?"

"Of course." There was a beat. "Good night, Jethro."

"Sleep well, Lydia."

"Will do." They sat for several minutes, neither really wanting to end the call. She finally said another good night and hung up.

In his kitchen, Gibbs looked at his phone and ran his hands over his face. Gratitude coursed through him as he realized that he had indeed nearly ruined a good thing. Perhaps the best thing he'd had since Shannon.

In her house, Lydia brewed coffee and mocked herself. She was falling in love with her boss. She really had to stop acting like she was a part of the family. But it was so comfortable. He was so comfortable. His family was so comfortable. Sort of like a comfortable old sweater she couldn't wait to put on every day.


	40. We're Having Dinner HERE?

Disclaimer: Still don't own it.

Note: Thanks Headbanger Rockstar! You're the best! Ptbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb!

Thanksgiving was only three days away. And Lydia was insanely busy. Jethro had offered to host the family dinner, since he had the nursery upstairs, which made his house better than Ducky's, his dining room was larger than the McGee's, and with Breena getting closer to her date of popping, he was ten minutes closer to the hospital.

He hadn't found it necessary to tell his housekeeper until earlier this morning. As in right before he left for work. The poor woman once again found herself wishing they were married. So she could tell him she wanted a divorce.

The bathrooms all needed cleaned, the nursery would need a good cleaning, since Oded had been with her most of last week because of a fever that banned him from the daycare. She'd not have LJ sleeping in the germs, and Oded didn't need to be re-exposed.

She'd gotten behind on the laundry while caring for the baby, and the laundry room, after Jethro so nicely brought his basket down, was spilling into the hall. And she'd been told not to worry about cooking, since dinner would be at Ducky's.

Before Tony woke, she had a second load of laundry started, the nursery sanitized, started to dust the living room, and was planning the menu in her head. She'd kill Jethro after the turkey was carved. He'd need to pull it from the oven.

#####

When Tony woke, she had him eat his usual breakfast… Captain Crunch and juice. She cleaned the downstairs bathroom while he dressed. He had therapy today, and they needed to be there in an hour.

Forty minutes later, she was still waiting for him to get his hair just so. He finally got ready and came down, with two minutes to spare in the time frame in which they needed to leave. He grinned and walked to the car. She hated the days when he was a smart ass. Yet she loved his many attitudes all the same

They arrived for his therapy session, and he went back by himself this time. Sometimes he wanted to be walked back by her or Jethro, even though his psychiatrist came out to get him. Today he was confidant enough to go back by himself.

Tony had been making steady progress. He was far from healthy. There were days when he didn't realize he was having a problem, and there were days he knew he wasn't "normal". Those were the hardest. When he knew what he was. Senior Field Agent who could face down anything. Not the new man he was struggling to become.

Some days he hid behind a mask. As he'd been doing his whole life, and in a way it was a relief to those around him to see him strong enough to put energy into a mask. Yet at the same time, it was maddening. Tony's insecurities were so deep that he was having trouble finding ways to get around them and do what his therapist was working him toward. Freedom and healing.

Today was one of the days when he was actually afraid. He figured Lydia knew it. He realized he wasn't himself. He couldn't drive without panicking anymore. He couldn't cook without stress. Some days, like today, he missed living on his own. But he'd not move out of Gibbs' house for anything. He felt safe.

Safety was still a novel feeling. Something he'd pretended to have before. But something, that on days like today, he wasn't sure he deserved. So he talked to his doctor about it. And, just like always, he was walked through the steps of "knowing".

He knew he was wanted. He knew he was loved. He knew that his real father had been horrible to him. He knew he had been a federal officer. He knew he wasn't able to do his job right now. He knew he could stay with his Dad, his "real" Dad, Jethro Gibbs, until he was able to be on his own again. He knew his mind would heal. He knew it would take time. He knew he could talk to Lydia and Jethro, and he needed to. He knew masks were not the right way to deal with things. He knew he was improving. He knew, most important of all, that he never needed to doubt that Gibbs had his six.

Tony spent most of his session in tears. He was so tired of feeling like he was being a burden. Dr. Shaw suggested that they bring Lydia back to talk with them for the last few minutes, and he agreed. So Dr. Shaw went for Lydia while Tony dried his tears.

"What's going on, Tony?" Lydia was concerned. He'd never asked her back before. Tony shrugged, and Dr. Shaw spoke up on his behalf.

"Tony's worried, and he's afraid to talk to you about it."

"Honey, what is it?" Tony fiddled with his fingers, clearing his throat, and finally spoke.

"Um, I'm worried that I'm a bother, and I'm in the way."

"What?" She put a hand on his arm. "No! Where did you ever get that?" He shrugged. "No, you don't, sir. I need to know why you feel that way." Tony started to wipe at his eyes again, but he spoke.

"Um, it's just that I'm an adult."

"Yeah? I know."

"And I can't do anything."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm not able to drive, and I can't cook, and I…" He shrugged again, not looking anywhere but the floor.

"You're worried that we're tired of helping you?"

"You're not helping me! You're doing everything! Helping is doing a little sometimes!" He suddenly erupted, springing from his chair. "I need you to do everything! My laundry, my dishes, my cooking." He swallowed hard. "Cleaning my room beyond getting my clothes and putting my crap away. I can't even vacuum, because the noise freaks me out." He drew in a deep breath and hit himself in the head.

Dr. Shaw stood and held the young man's hands until he was sure Tony wouldn't do it again.

"I can't do anything! I'm an adult, and I help you sometimes! I should be able to do these things, and I can't! And it makes me mad, and then I get scared that you're going to get tired of me, and make me go away, and that I'm too much trouble, and…" He gasped a sob, and Lydia wrapped her arms around him.

"You listen to me, Tony DiNozzo, and you listen good, ok?" He nodded.

"You are one very special young man, and I know you're having some trouble right now." He nodded again, still not speaking. Dr. Shaw nodded his ascent. "You're getting better, every day, you're getting better. You're able to do more, to handle more stress." He started to argue, and she stopped him.

"Would you have been able to help me mate the socks a month ago?" He shook his head. "Well, you did it yesterday, right?"

"Yeah."

"And you helped me grocery shop last week, didn't you?"

"Yeah. I got the bread and cheese."

"Yes, and two packages of hamburger." He huffed.

"I used to shop alone."

"Yes, you did. Before your mind decided it had enough."

"I'm afraid I'll never get better."

"Then we'll worry about that later, Tony. Right now, let's focus on today."

"She's right, Tony." Dr. Shaw spoke up. "Don't add to your stress today. Focus on today. Not yesterday, not tomorrow, just today. Can you do that?" Tony nodded. He could do that much.

#####

As usual, they stopped for lunch after his appointment. It was warm, so they went to a restaurant with a patio and sat outside. Tony sat and looked at his menu for a long time, his mind swimming. Lydia reached over and patted his hand.

"Too many choices?" He nodded. It was a hard thing to admit to.

"Ok. Do you want a sandwich or a salad?"

"Um, I'm not sure."

"Ok, since we're going to be having pizza tonight, why don't we both have salads?"

"Ok. Salad." He sat staring at his menu, trying hard to not cry. There were sixteen different salads. How could he choose? What if he didn't like what he got. Lydia's hand reached out to him again.

"Chicken or tuna?" He thought for a moment.

"Chicken."

"Ok. Do you want hot chicken, or cold?" He thought for another moment, and then nodded.

"Hot. Hot chicken."

"See? You're doing it. A salad with hot chicken. That leaves four." Tony breathed a sigh of relief and looked at the choices she pointed to. He was making progress. She gave him another few minutes.

"Do you want fruit and nuts, or just vegetables?" He thought again. That was the problem.

"I want fruit, but not on my salad."

"Ok, so we'll get the fruit cup, and which of these three salads do you want? This one will have a spicy ginger dressing, this one will have pecans, but no fruit, and this one will have egg and ham as well."

"Not the egg and ham one."

"Ok. So now we're down to two. The spicy ginger one, or the pecans?"

"Can I get the pecan salad without the pecans? I don't like them today. They don't sound good."

"Sure can." Lydia smiled at him. "See, you did it."

He sighed in relief and sipped his water. He missed the days when lunch was easy.

"Do you want a soda?" He nodded after some thought.

"I think so." And so began the process of deciding for sure. He ended up with strawberry lemonade.

Lunch ended, and they headed for the grocery store. He took a deep breath. He wasn't sure if he was ready to get anything on his own today. Lunch kind of pushed his limits.

Lydia seemed to understand without him saying. He found himself pushing the cart through the crowded store as she loaded it with more groceries than he thought they'd ever need. Ten boxes of stuffing? Really? And then he noticed the price. Lydia was one smart cookie.

He heard her ask a question, and pulled himself out of his daydream. Or his blank, which is what it had actually been. A peaceful place with no worries.

"What?"

"Do you like cranberry sauce with berries, or the jellied stuff?"

"Ew. Cranberries. Jellied stuff. I hate real cranberries." Lydia chuckled and put in five. With her coupon, they would work out to about $.44 each. Not bad. Especially if he'd eat it.

Next came the turkey, and she let him choose between three of them. He picked the biggest. He didn't care about the brand. He just cared that there were leftovers.

Once they were home, he helped her unload, and then followed her instructions and went up to bed. He was wiped. Extremely tired, a little headache-y, and very much ready for a nap.

When she went up to check on him two hours later, he was still sound asleep, his shoes not even off as he lay diagonally across his bed, teddy bear acting as his pillow. She shook her head and covered him up with the throw from the end of his bed.

She'd never been blessed with children. For that, she had often felt sad, perhaps even a little inadequate. And then she met Jethro Gibbs and his motley crew. Wiping a tear from her cheek, she shut Tony's door quietly and moved down the hall to the upstairs bathroom. It shouldn't take long to clean.


	41. Cooking And Cleaning And Observing

Disclaimer: I OWN IT! No, wait…. That was just a dream. Never mind. I don't own it. Sigh.

Note: all typical notes, including the one about the hairy elephant's butt apply. lol

By the time Tony was up from his nap and Jethro was home from work, Lydia had the house under control with the exception of the laundry. And that would just take time.

Her "son" stumbled down the stairs and smiled tiredly at her. He was still feeling groggy, but knew that if he didn't get up, he'd be unable to sleep that night. And he hated being awake all night.

"I can wake you up in a bit."

"No. I need to get up."

"Ok." Lydia went back to what she was doing, which was making sure the desserts were baking. She'd started dough for dinner rolls, and it was currently rising on the dryer, which had been going with one load or another for the last four hours. She was ready for bed.

Jethro came home to the delightful smell of baked goods and fresh bread. His mouth watered just getting through the door. Then he looked around and his eyes bugged. It was spotless. His house hadn't been spotless since Diane was being all bossy about how it looked.

He stood just outside of the kitchen and watched his family. Tony sat at the table, Gibbs' largest plastic bowl before him. He was taking dough out of the bowl and rolling it in little balls. The little balls were put into muffin tins.

Jethro nearly spoke to tell him he'd put two into the same cup when he saw Lydia turn out a pan of them. They were divided into three sections, obviously made from three little balls. She looked at his most recent tray and told him he was doing a good job.

Tony simply beamed under the praise. He kept at his job, so focused on what he did that he still hadn't noticed Gibbs, even when Lydia smiled toward the doorway. Jethro winked and put his finger to his lips. He was enjoying just watching.

A few minutes later, Lydia asked Tony what he wanted on his pizza. Jethro had usually just decided what they'd eat, as he wasn't sure of how to get the young man to decide on anything. So he listened and learned.

Lydia talked Tony through what pizzeria to order from, and then what size to get, or if they should get two smaller pizzas. Then came the subject of vegetables or no vegetables. Then meat. And then the question of extra cheese, or stuffed crust. He watched as she took him slowly and patiently through each step.

She dialed the phone, and asked Tony if he wanted to order. He said yes, and he started to order. When he began to get nervous, Lydia simply stepped in and finished. She just winked at him, patting his shoulder. He shrugged and went back to rolling dough.

"You did good, Tony."

"I didn't finish it." He sounded completely dejected. Jethro rarely got to see these types of moments. Tony was often so busy trying to be "all better", and wanted to hide all of this.

"But you started, and that's a big part of learning to finish."

"I guess so."

"Hey. What did Dr. Shaw say today?"

"That I'm doing better. That I can do this, but I need to remember to focus on today, and only today."

"That's right. And today, you started to place an order for pizza." He looked up at her, suddenly understanding. Pride began to replace embarrassment.

"And today, I learned one step out of many."

"That's right. Just like choosing if you want a salad, or a sandwich is made up of the choices of what you want and following the steps to get it, you have to follow the steps to order a pizza." Jethro hadn't realized it was that basic for Tony now. He'd just always stepped in and rescued his son.

"I did good ordering lunch today, right?"

"Well, were you satisfied with what you got?"

"Yes. But you had to help me decide."

"So? But you chose, and you were happy with your choice, right?"

"Yes." Tony smiled again. He had chosen. And he'd chosen well.

Jethro walked into the kitchen then.

"What on earth are you two doing?" Lydia shot him a dirty look. As if he couldn't tell.

"Thanksgiving is the day after tomorrow, and you told Mom this morning that we were going to eat here this year instead of at Ducky's. So we're cooking." Tony looked so proud of himself that Gibbs nearly laughed. But he knew he didn't dare.

"Good. So what are we having?"

"Turkey." Lydia let the guys talk. It was good practice for Tony.

"Yeah? What else?" As the young man started to list off everything they'd bought, and every dish Lydia had started, Jethro wondered if he'd made the right decision.

The kids were already convinced she was the perfect woman. They loved her cooking. If she made a feast like this, he'd have them offering to pay for the wedding. And she hadn't shown any interest in him, and he knew that to ask her out would be disaster. He'd already proven his bastard state. He was just lucky she was still here.

The doorbell rang, and Jethro went to get it. He came back with two medium pizzas. Both absolutely delicious, and with signs that Tony was evolving. He still got pepperoni, sausage and extra cheese, but he'd begun to add mushrooms and green peppers. Lydia was rubbing off. Dang it. Even pizza was healthy.

########

Tony went to bed, Lydia went home, and Jethro went to the basement. He'd had a long week, had wrapped up a cold case that had been plaguing NCIS for a few years, done a ton of paperwork, and in general been bored out of his ever-loving mind.

He sanded until he wanted to sleep. Jethro turned out the light and headed upstairs. He checked on Tony, changed into his sweats, and was out before he could think to flip off the bedside lamp.

Jethro woke at his usual time and went downstairs. Lydia wasn't here yet, which was odd, but she had worked hard the day before. He just hoped she wasn't so tired she'd overslept. He'd hate to have to call and wake her.

As he stood staring at the coffee pot, wishing it would brew faster, and thinking he was grateful that Lydia usually had it made every day before he came down, his phone rang. He groaned. Dispatch. Not the day before Thanksgiving.

"Gibbs." He listened impatiently as the young man rattled off an address and let him know LEO's were already on the scene. Wonderful.

His next call was to Lydia, who answered as she was pulling into his drive.

"I know. I'm late." She sounded harried. He flipped shut his phone and jogged to his front door. He opened it quickly, and watched with concern as she limped up his steps.

"I fell in the shower." His brows raised for a moment, and she knew she needed to answer. "I was tired. I think I may have fallen asleep."

"Are you ok?"

"Banged my hip pretty good. Other than that and my pride, I'm fine."

Jethro shut the door and hustled her to the couch. Once there, he got her situated with a pillow behind, a blanket over, and an ice pack wrapped in a tea towel. Her eyes twinkled with humor.

"I must look pretty bad." He sat on the coffee table before her for a moment. He held her hand loosely and toyed with her fingers. Both enjoyed the contact.

"Nah. Just gotta take care of my Lydia." She rewarded him with a brilliant smile. "Got a case. Teams already on their way to the office." He sighed. "If you need anything, you call, ok?"

"I know." He was so cute when he got flustered. "Go. I'll be fine, and we'll get Thanksgiving dinner cooked, so if you can get this thing solved, you guys can still celebrate tomorrow."

"You're a gem, Lydia. Just don't work that hip too much today."

"Go to work."

"Ok." He leaned down and kissed her forehead. "Here's hoping he or she is a dumb criminal."

#####

Lydia fell asleep again, not waking when Tony came quietly down the stairs. He'd checked his dad's room. Empty. The nursery where Mom slept if she spent the night. Empty. Panic began to set in, but he made himself venture downstairs. They never left him all alone.

He felt relief when he saw his mom sleeping on the couch. He went to the kitchen and opened the cupboard. Which cereal did he want? Using the steps Lydia had been teaching him, he pulled out the last box of Boo Berry Crunch. Then laughed at himself for having pride in being able to pick out his own cereal. But he was still happy. Hadn't even finished breakfast, but he'd already accomplished something.

#######

The killer wasn't stupid. Gibbs groaned. He hated smart criminals. This one had policed all of his brass, had wiped all finger prints, and seemed to have vanished. It was a professional hit. No doubt about it. But why, and how on earth had the person managed to kill a Staff Sergeant in the middle of a shopping mall, grab all of the evidence, and not flipping be seen? He really hated smart criminals.

Whoever he was, knew where all of the security cameras were, and stayed out of them. The only time he or she was seen on the footage, was when the person, dressed in jeans and a plain t-shirt walked around with other witnesses. Only a single movement, which almost looked like the tying of a shoe, gave him away. The bullet was there when he bent down, but not when he stood back up. And the entire time, the guy had managed to keep his face out of view.

Four of the witnesses remembered seeing the guy, and were able to give a reasonable description of him. So Abby had his face running through AFIS, McGee was tracking down financials, Ziva was trying to find a babysitter for the next day because the daycare wouldn't be open, and Tony was having fits.

######

Lydia talked him down from his panic. They'd simply have Thanksgiving on another day. It was the family time together that mattered. Not that Tony could accept or understand that.

With having no options left, Ziva called Lydia who said that yes, she would watch both boys tomorrow. Just solve the case and get everyone to dinner on time. The younger woman passed the message to Gibbs, who laughed quickly, then straightened his expression and said, "smartass."


	42. Turkey Day At Last

Disclaimer: Don't own it... not even in my wildest dreams.

Note: Thanks to Headbanger Rockstar for being my awesome beta!

Before Jethro left for work Thanksgiving morning, he'd had coffee with homemade shit on a shingle. Mmmmmm. He'd not had it in years. He carried out a box full of lunches, his own, but also incredible lunches for Tim, Abby, Ziva, and the new kid on his team, Joe. Lydia had not been to bed, apparently.

He whistled as he climbed into his truck. He'd leave the Charger today. Lydia had both boys, and he knew that if the case didn't end, she'd want to bring the babies in to say hi to their mommies.

Ziva had dropped Oded off while he'd been in the shower, and he'd heard an earful from Lydia, as the young mother had rushed through breakfast in an effort to get to work before her dad. His feisty housekeeper was upset with him. He was working his team too hard. He tried, for all of 30 seconds, to get her to understand that work was work, family was family, and there was a line between them.

Lydia disagreed, especially on Thanksgiving Day. But for all of her fussing, she'd fed him well and given him a great lunch. Along with plenty of whatever she sent for the kids.

He ran back in for his thermos, the one that had magically appeared one day after he groused about not being able to get coffee. His kids had called their "mom" it seemed, and the next day, it waited for him, without fanfare, on the kitchen table.

Jethro grabbed it and went to the coffee pot. He filled it, started the pot again, and turned around to find that Lydia was back in the kitchen. They exchanged quick pleasantries as she fixed his collar. He bent down and pecked her on the lips. She met him half way, her lips bouncing off of his quickly.

His hand was on the handle of his car before he realized that he'd kissed her. For her, it was when she was up changing Oded. She'd picked him up, pecked his cheek, and stopped cold. She blushed.

Abby stopped by and dropped off LJ. Lydia's cheeks were still tinged red, and the younger woman could fairly smell some romance lingering in the air. Especially if Gibbs had coffee, SOS, and was out the door in a good mood. Which apparently he was. Her husband was freaking out and sent her a text. Her dad was whistling. Abby had a little mystery on the side. She kept her happy squee to herself until she was outside.

#####

Tony woke and came down, already dressed. LJ and Oded were standing by the couch, happily giggling as they clung to the cushions. They now ten months old, and had been crawling for two months. The standing with the help of furniture was new to both of the boys in the past two weeks.

Once again, their unusual way of communicating was working for them. Just as LJ could somehow give Oded directions to things, he was able to tell his blind cousin what was safe to stand on, and what wasn't.

Tony sat on the couch between the boys and chatted with them, all three of them laughing and the babies bouncing, as if dancing to some rhythm only they could hear.

Lydia gave him a few minutes to play before calling him in to eat. Tony went out to the kitchen, carrying both boys. She helped him get them settled into their highchairs.

#####

Gibbs was throwing fits. Joe wasn't having any luck finding prints, or anything new in witness statements. Gibbs knew it was a long shot, but the young man was terrified that today would be his last on the team. Tim couldn't find anything in the victim's financials that would lead to his murder, and Ziva was getting nowhere as she watched the security footage…. Again.

He was going over everything with Ducky and Abby, trying to figure out what sort of bullet had been used. All of them were getting frustrated. It was well past lunch, they were getting hungry again, and there was no way they could get out and actually get to a dinner somewhere. Gibbs phone rang and he went to his "office." None of them knew what the call was about, but his eyes softened, just like they always did when she called. Joe looked at Tim confused.

"What's that all about? He just stopped yelling."

"Mom has a way with him. You'll get used to it."

"I didn't think he was married."

"He's not." Ziva grinned evilly. "We've got bets placed. $20.00 per person. The closest date we've got is just after Christmas, and the last is a little over a year away. Would you like to place a bet?"

Joe gave up trying to figure them out. He'd heard so many things around the water cooler, he'd been pulled aside and warned by concerned people on other teams that he didn't need to take Gibbs' abuse. But he'd never been abused. He'd been dressed-down, he'd been corrected, he'd been trained better than most of the agents issuing their warnings. But he still didn't feel a part of or understand Team Gibbs. He just worked with them.

####

Several things were beginning to make sense when Gibbs announced he was going for dinner. He'd ordered his team to stay at their desks and work, also telling Ducky, Abby, and Palmer to keep working. He'd be back. They needed a break in the case. More than they needed turkey.

What they didn't know was that Lydia had called Breena, and the Mallard Gaggle's newest member was already at Gibbs' house. She was helping to put the final touches to dishes while Tony played with his nephews. By the time Gibbs got there, the ladies had everything ready to load, including the toddlers.

Gibbs helped load the food, getting everything put flat and settled. He put the packages of paper plates and plastic silverware in his trunk as well. The turkey was already sliced and ready to go. Green bean casserole, cranberry sauce, rolls, pies, the makings of a veritable feast, were loaded into the backseat and trunk of his company sedan.

Tony rode with his dad, while Lydia followed with Breena and the babies. Once they got to the Navy yard, Gibbs called his family and had them come down to help him carry stuff in. They had no idea what they were helping to carry in, they just knew they were needed. He called Tim first, had him pass the message to Ziva, and then called Ducky. The older man got Jimmy moving and called Abby.

Joe came along to help, not knowing what was needed, but willing to work with the team. He almost started going back inside when he saw the whole family gathered around the two cars pulling out babies and dishes. He was stopped by his boss.

"Hey, Joe! Ya gonna eat, ya gonna carry! Get over here!" Surprised to be included, he trotted over and introduced himself to Lydia and Breena. Lydia smiled at him and handed him a dish. Apparently that was her hello.

#####

Down in the lab, they set out the plates and dishes, pulled up folding chairs and four card tables Abby had squirreled away due to holidays spent like this. Joe observed the bizarre family as they interacted with one another.

The harsh Gibbs had disappeared, and some gentle version that was somehow stronger took his place. He played with the babies, he joked and teased, and he asked Breena, in a caring and oddly concerned voice how her pregnancy was coming. So this was the Gibbs who his teammates called Dad.

Joe observed with fascination as the entire family morphed. They were different people in this setting. They were relaxed, calm. When Ziva threatened to kill someone with a paperclip now, she was joking. Upstairs, he wasn't so sure. When Gibbs slapped a head, it was more of a caress.

Tim was funny, as in he actually told jokes that made the others laugh. Abby was still herself. Ducky still told stories. Jimmy was so courteous of his wife it was almost painful. Breena stood at one point, her hand on her belly, and the whole room stilled, everyone watching, whether the individual had a fork half way to the mouth, or was mid-chew. They stopped.

She looked around at them, and her eyes grew wide. She finally started to giggle. "Just a Braxton Hicks. Finish chewing, Uncle Jethro." Tony threw a wadded up napkin and hit his dad in the head. Gibbs shot him a glare, and everyone burst out laughing.

Dinner continued, everyone finally moving on to dessert. They were sitting drinking coffee and eating pie when AFIS dinged, and Abby ran to her machine. Gibbs stood and told everyone that dinner was over.

Lydia began to gather things, when Gibbs told her he'd bring it all later. She smiled at him, and waited while the little ones were kissed by their mommies. She and Tony each took one and started to head toward the door. On the way out, Gibbs kissed both of the babies and hugged Tony. When he bent down to kiss LJ's forehead, he got Lydia on the cheek, nearly by her mouth.

Joe shook his head, knowing he may never understand when in the elevator with Ducky, Palmer and Tim, the older man handed Tim a fiver. "You called it, my boy. When do you think they'll set a date?"

"I've got a twenty on the tenth of May." Ducky laughed.

"This year or next?"


	43. Thanking Lydia for Thanksgiving

Disclaimer: Don't own it.

Note: Thanks to Headbanger Rockstar for being my amazing beta! Love you! Ptbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb!

It was four days after Thanksgiving. Team Gibbs had an unexpected week off, because the FBI had stepped in and taken over the case. For once, Jethro didn't argue. They'd not really had anything good. Even the hit on AFIS went cold.

Due to them missing their holiday, Vance agreed to let them take time that they'd not been able to have in weeks. It was now Tuesday, and Gibbs was elbow deep in grease. He'd gone and bought everything he needed to fix his car. A complete tune-up, winterizing, the works.

Lydia was inside with Tony and the babies. Abby and Ziva had gone shopping, all too eager to find any deals that may be lingering anywhere. Tim was at his publishers to discuss marketing for his latest book. And Gibbs was basking in the silence.

He'd done an oil change only two weeks ago, and the level was still right on. So he got to start on the fun stuff. The stuff he got to use his tools on.

He changed his belts, the spark plugs, wires, rotor, distributor cap, drained the radiator fluid and filled it with antifreeze, made sure his wiper fluid was full, changed out his wiper blades, and even changed his tires. He had all weathers that he used in the winter.

Gibbs knew he could use them all year, but he liked a different tread for most of the year. And snow tires, if he didn't have time to change them, caused him no end of trouble with the state patrol due to the studs. He finished in about three hours.

He stretched and gathered up his tools and the left over packages. Tossing it all in the garage trash barrel, he started to close the door when he looked over at Lydia's car. It was rusting slightly, and the left rear tire looked low.

Gibbs kicked himself for not thinking about it sooner. No doubt, with the pay cut she'd taken to take care of Tony, she'd not be able to afford to do maintenance on her car, or if she could afford it, she'd be fighting to pay other bills. And that wasn't fair, as she'd given up her job to help him.

He pulled out his tire gauge and checked her air pressure. The left rear was indeed low. By four pounds. And he thought the crack on the side was the most likely culprit. The tread was not big enough for his liking. If she hit ice, she'd slip.

Checking her door, he found it to be open. He'd remind her later to lock it. It wasn't safe for her to leave it open, especially this time of year. There were more predators out around the holidays.

He popped her hood and went around to check. Her oil was in need of changing, and when he pulled out her spark plug, the wire was brittle. That wouldn't do at all. He checked her belts. Both were still functioning, but her serpentine belt was cracked. One bad cold spell would be enough to break it all the way through. He wrote down several numbers and went in for his wallet.

"I'll be back. Gotta go get a couple of things." She barely looked up from where she sat between the boys, playing with some weird looking bead and wire contraption.

"Ok, see you soon."

"Need anything?"

"Um." She thought for a moment. "Just some bread, and if you'll get a package of broccoli, I'll make that chicken and broccoli dish you guys like for dinner." Jethro nodded and left.

Once he was to the store, he picked out an oil filter, got five quarts of the type of oil her window sticker had indicated. Then he picked up two more to stick in her trunk. He got her deicing windshield washer fluid. He picked up new headlight bulbs, got her serpentine and timing belts, and then went to the counter to get the spark plugs and wires. He asked for the correct router and distributor cap, as well.

He grimaced and walked back to where the filters were. He'd forgotten her air filter. He got it along with a can of Fix a Flat. That was a necessity in any trunk.

He picked up transmission fluid and brake fluid. He grabbed four gallons of antifreeze. He'd probably need to flush her system. And if he didn't, then she'd have a spare or two for her trunk.

Once he had everything he could think of, he paid and headed down the road to pick up the tires he'd called and asked them to prepare. Four all weather radials mounted on new rims. That way she could have a spare set stored in her garage in case of emergency.

He got home and started working. He got her fluids done first, as they were the quickest. He had enough pans he could just drain them all at once. He changed out her oil filter and greased her chassis when he pulled off her brake pads. He cringed. They were almost down to the bare shoe.

He suddenly remembered the groceries in the car, and ran them in. Lydia thanked him and went back to the ironing. Oded was sitting in the playpen chewing on a semi-soft plastic shark. He grinned. Jaws, indeed. LJ sat next to him, a dinosaur gurgling and stomping on his legs.

Gibbs jogged back to her car and got back to work. He was thoroughly enjoying himself, just puttering. He'd already changed out her spark plugs, and was working on methodically changing out her distributor cap and router.

#####

The boys were down for their naps, but Jethro hadn't come in for lunch yet. At least, Lydia hadn't seen him. She popped her head into the basement, but he wasn't there. She looked out into the backyard where Tony was cleaning the grill and getting it shut down and repainted for the winter. He wasn't there.

So she looked out front. And nearly cried. There was her boss, her friend, working on her car. She wasn't entirely sure what he'd done, but by the number of boxes and tools laying about, he'd been quite busy. He stood and looked at something in his hand with utter contempt. Then he picked up a package and replaced whatever he'd been glaring at.

She went back in and put on the coffee pot. Sat at the table and worked to control her emotions. She was so glad to know the Gibbs family. To be a part of Tony's healing. She'd not trade it for anything. But she had been worrying about her car. And she'd not wanted to say anything.

She'd felt a pang of jealousy when Jethro had said he was going to work on his car. She'd almost asked him to look at hers, but knew she needed to wait at least one more payday. She sniffed and wiped at her eyes. She was so relieved it was done, but didn't know how she would pay for it.

He came in then and washed his hands.

"What's wrong?" His concern was evident.

"Nothings wrong, Jethro. Thank you for working on my car." Her voice broke, and she waved her hand, not sure of how to explain.

"Thanks, but…"

"I can't afford it right now. I'm sorry. You can take it from my next check." He shook his head and pulled her to her feet.

"It's not coming out of your check." He held her to him, rocking slowly back and forth as she cried. "You help us, all of us." He pressed a kiss to her hair. "Happy Thanksgiving."

Closing his eyes, he allowed himself to just relax into her, letting her cry her gratitude. He knew how she felt. He may not cry, but he was thankful for every little thing she did for him and his children.


	44. Ziva Has A Date

Disclaimer: Still don't own it

Note: Thanks to Headbanger Rockstar! You rock, Dude! Love ya! Ptbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb!

Ziva was excited. She had a date. Of course, she didn't think he was really interested in having anything to do with Oded, but she was also hyper-sensitive. If someone didn't ooh and aah over him, she was worried that they looked down on him for being adopted.

She'd called the teen girls that had watched the boys when Tony was in the hospital, but both were busy. So she called Lydia. And the older woman had happily agreed.

Jethro was less than happy. This guy was from the FBI, and worked with Tobias from time to time. And he gave both he and Tim the willies. But Ziva liked him. The Dad in Gibbs was worried that she was just… he didn't want to finish his thought. Javier was good looking, but he was a prick.

Ziva didn't know him well enough. She'd only met him when the feebs showed up the day after Thanksgiving to take over the case they'd been busting their asses over. She didn't know him, he'd not really seemed keen to meet Oded, and Jethro could come up with a hundred reasons why he didn't want her going out with this jerk.

He'd run a full back-ground check on the guy. His credit was good. No divorces. No kids. Didn't hop from job to job. He seemed ok. But Gibbs didn't like him. He wasn't good enough.

#####

Ziva left work right on time, collected Oded, went home, showered, dressed, and was over at Gibbs house before the older man was even home. Tony teased her mercilessly, and she playfully told him she'd kill him with a paper clip. He just stuck out his tongue and told her she wouldn't dare. Mom would be mad.

Lydia called a cease fire to their sibling rivalry and sent Tony upstairs to get ready. He had a movie date of his own. Tim was coming for him, to take him out to dinner and a movie. Abby was going to be having a cookware party, and Tim couldn't be happier than to have an actual excuse to get out of the house.

Jethro had practically forbidden Lydia to go to the cooking party. She had laughed at him when he handed her the invitation. He griped about gaining weight, about having to buy new clothes, and how his cholesterol was sure to be skyrocketing.

Of course she was going to go. She'd not stay long, as she really didn't care for the cookware itself, but she'd be there for Abby's sake. And she'd buy something. Perhaps a new cutting board or baking stone.

Shortly after Ziva left, Gibbs came home and grumbled about eating alone. Lydia laughed the whole way out to her car. She fastened Oded into his seat just as Tim pulled in the drive. They exchanged hello's, and she drove to his house as he walked into hers. She meant Gibbs'.

Jethro looked up at his new second, smiling. Tim looked good. He was relaxed, becoming more confidant every day. Fatherhood suited the young man.

"Hey, McGee."

"Dad." Tim smiled. "You want to go with us?"

"Nah. Let you boys have your fun." Gibbs smirked. "Besides, when else will I have the house to myself again? Nobody in the basement when I'm sanding." Tim laughed. It was a well know fact that the older man loved having Tony help him.

Speak of the devil, the irrepressible young man came tromping down the stairs, grinning like a maniac. He'd been looking forward to tonight for nearly a week. He stopped in front of Gibbs and held out his hand expectantly. The older man groaned playfully before pulling out his wallet.

He handed Tony three twenty's and looked at Tim meaningfully. Tim nodded. If Tony got stressed with carrying the money, Tim would stick it in his own pocket.

The two guys left, all the while chatting excitedly about the movie they were going to see. It was some Christmas movie. And Tony loved Christmas. He didn't care if it was a G rated movie. If it was Christmas, it was fit for watching in July.

Gibbs headed down to his basement and started sanding as Lydia was inspecting a new party tray, Abby was giggling over the toys available, and Ziva was deciding that her date wasn't worth the time. But she was out for an evening. And dressed nicely. She'd not end it too soon.

Lydia left Abby's first, wanting to be there when Ziva got in. Abby chuckled her new mom's excuse. Ziva, right. Nothing at all to do with Grandpa.

Gibbs heard the front door close quietly and came upstairs. Oded had begun to cry almost as soon as the latch closed. He heard Lydia shushing the boy, but Oded had different ideas. He screamed and fussed until Gibbs made a raspberry at him. Then the little stinker stopped crying. Another noise, and he smiled.

"Yeah, you're Grandpa's boy, aren't you?" Oded shrieked with joy and reached out his hands in the direction of Grandpa's voice.

"You're a traitor. That's what you are." As if he could understand every word, he giggled and scrunched up against Lydia. She handed him over, and he wrapped his arm around his Grandpa, reaching out his hand for her to grab.

"Hey, no fair." Gibbs laughed. "If I hold you, we get man to man time." He patted the boys back a couple of times and asked how the party was.

"Oh, it was fun." She was busy getting Oded's bottle ready. "I got a new party tray, some toys, a cookie press, and some microwaveable dishes for you to take in your lunches." He about choked.

"How much did you spend." She turned around a grinned at him.

"Entirely too much." He moaned in agony. "But don't worry. I'm paying for most of it."

"Good." His eyes laughed, even though his voice sounded angry.

"Don't sass me, Agent Gibbs. You're going to reap the benefits."

"So true." To his baby, he added, "Come on, Oded. Show me how good you're walking these days."

With that, he put the baby on the floor. Holding on to Gibbs' fingers, Oded walked carefully, only a step before the older man, into the living room where Gibbs swooped the giggling baby up and "ate" his belly.

Lydia walked in with his bottle, and Gibbs handed Oded back. He didn't want to fall asleep just yet, and he had a bad habit of sleeping before the little one he was rocking slept. Got him in trouble more than once.

They sat next to one another on the couch, she with Oded on her lap, and he with his finger held tightly by the boy. There was some movie on, some Disney movie that Jethro totally tuned out until Lydia told him to just stop suffering and put on the news.

He switched the channel, and they sat watching while Oded had his bedtime snack. He let go of Grandpa's hand, only to search it out a moment later. Lydia leaned against Gibbs, resting against his shoulder. He in turn put his arm over the couch and leaned down, giving Oded a quick kiss.

The baby yawned and slept. Gibbs kept his arm behind Lydia, and his other hand on Oded. She rested her head against his shoulder, nearly cradled into his neck. Neither noticed they'd fallen asleep until they heard the front door closing.

It took even longer for them to realize how they were cuddled together, with the baby between them. Ziva snapped a picture with her phone without them realizing it. This was just too cute. Her dad was still groggy. Lydia looked like she was barely awake, even as she filled Ziva in on Oded's evening.

Ziva picked up her son, smirking as she did so. She loaded her son into his carrier and fairly ran out of the house. She had a call to make.

"Hey, Ziva. How was your date?"

"He is an idiot, and I will not be going out with him again."

"Oh, I'm sorry."

"Do not be sorry." Ziva laughed as she backed out of the drive. "I have won a bet tonight."

"Which one?" Abby was all ears.

"I have a picture of them sleeping on the couch."

"No!" Abby started to bounce around her kitchen with glee. She knew it! She just knew it! "Send it to me! I wanna see it!" The girls giggled as they talked about how cute Dad and Mom were.

####

Back in Gibbs' living room, Jethro yawned and pulled Lydia closer.

"So what just happened there?"

"I think we just blew our friends only status right out the window."

"Yeah, probably." Neither said another word. They watched the weather, still cuddling with one another. He pressed a kiss to her hair and closed his eyes. Her thumb stroked at his pulse point as his arm rested across her, putting his hand near hers.

Some time after the weather, probably in the sports section, they were sound asleep, Jethro resting his head on the high back of the couch, Lydia nestled against his shoulder and neck, and holding his arm lightly with hers. An almost empty bottle sat next to her, and Jethro still had Oded's blanket laying across his knee.

Neither woke when Tony and Tim snuck in hours after they were to be home. The two boys nearly giggled when Jethro snored and, without waking up, Lydia reached up and lazily pushed his head to the side. Their dad never roused, but he did stop snoring.


	45. Christmas Eve in the Life of a Gibbs

Disclaimer: Don't own

Note: Headbanger Rockstar is my absolutely incredible beta! Love you! Ptbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb!

Leroy Jethro Gibbs smiled quietly to himself as he finished his last toy. He had made nearly two hundred toys for the hospital, just as he did every year, and as in the past four years, his father had helped him paint them. Jack was upstairs brewing another pot of coffee, so his son's mood would not falter.

Jack walked to the basement stairs, stopping on the way to straighten a picture in the hall. The older man smirked as he did so. It was a picture of his son's team taken at Halloween last year. Abby was dressed as a very pregnant nun, McGee was wearing something that seemed to resemble a sumo wrestler, if only his air pump hadn't been broken by DiNozzo, who was sporting multicolored hair and a big red nose with no other costume. Ziva stood next to Abby in what had to have been one of the Goth's favorite outfits. Ziva looked out of her comfort zone with no hope of return.

So much had changed in only a year. Abby had her baby only 2 and a half months later, just after the last Christmas. Ziva had adopted her distant cousin when LJ was four months old. The boys were jokingly referred to as the "un-Gibbs un-Twins". Both were starting to walk, and had everyone on pins and needles when they were motoring around, especially Oded. His little head was no match for a coffee table. Gibbs had gone so far as to put foam around most hard edges of his furniture.

"Ready, Jack?" Jethro stood in the hall, two bags of toys overflowing at his feet.

"Sure am, son. Let me get one last cup of coffee." He shuddered comically. "It's cold out there."

"Thought that was my line?" Jethro smiled. He followed his father to the kitchen and they drank their hot brew in companionable silence.

A loud crash, laughter, and a low alto voice shouting "Anthony DiNozzo! You stop that!" rang out through the house, and Gibbs was grateful that none of his grandchildren were spending the night. Tony was worse than either of them could dream of being.

Once finished, the two men loaded the bags into his truck along with the four that were already packed in. Gibbs drove slowly down the snowy streets, looking at the decorations. Neither man mentioned that it was an activity that he'd purposefully ignored these past several years.

"What time are the kids coming tomorrow?" Jack finally broke the easy silence.

"Oh, I expect Tony to be up sometime around sunrise." Gibbs chuckled. He never would have thought his senior field officer would be so excited, but two years ago, when the team had spent their first "family" Christmas, the young man had been sleeping on the couch when Gibbs came up from the basement about 6 AM. Jethro had chuckled and covered him with a blanket.

Tony had been coming for Christmas for years, but he had previously shown up around noon. It had become a tradition for every holiday from Thanksgiving to Easter after that. Now he lived with Gibbs, and Lydia was doing her best to get him to stop playing and help finish decorating. It was a losing battle.

"That early, huh?" Jack chuckled. "What about the others?"

"They said after breakfast, which could mean as early as 8, to as late as 10."

"You didn't set a time?" Jack smiled. He knew how his little family operated. Even if a time were set, they'd show when they got there.

"Nah. First Christmas with the babies." Jethro shrugged. "They should be home for the morning. Leave when they're good and ready to, and not a moment earlier."

"And you'll just be patiently waiting for them, won't you?" Jack grinned over, earning a mock glare from Gibbs. Jack laughed. "Yeah, I can see it now. You'll wear a hole in the floor by seven."

"I'm not that bad, Dad." This comment just made Jack laugh more. They rode in silence for several minutes. "So, Jack. What did you get the kids?"

"I got them both toy piano's. They're plastic, loud, and LJ's is multicolored, where Oded's has different designs on the keys."

"Noisy toys." Gibbs smirked. "Remember what they told you after your last noisy gift?" Jack grinned mischievously. Jethro smiled back. The older man most certainly remembered.

"What's the point in being a great-grandpa if I can't spoil the kids?"

They had by now arrived at the hospital, and Jethro went to the back of the truck to begin hauling in toys while his father went in to let an orderly know they were there. Within minutes, all of the toys were inside, and Jack had one sack, headed to one end of the hall, while Jethro had another, headed to the other end.

Jack moved at his normal speed, which was comfortably slow. He was in no hurry, as it was only now turning 8 PM, which meant they had an hour before they had to head home. Visiting hours were usually over at 7, but with it being Christmas Eve, and with them bearing gifts, they were permitted the extra two hours. He'd already dispensed two bags of toys out of the six. He had just started on the last bag, and still had an hour to go.

Jethro was only on bag two, and he was enjoying himself. He'd had three little girls blush and giggle as he handed them little rocking horses. Two boys had gotten huge eyes as he handed them trains, jabbering excitedly about "Thomas". Were it not for his grandsons, he'd not know who Thomas was. Kelly had been into Barbie.

As he took the last toy from his current sack, he looked into the room at a little boy with a blank expression. He had his favorite handmade toy in hand. A boat that was the very replica of the one he had built for Amira. He walked to the child.

"Hey." The little boy looked up at him, his eyes wide.

"Hi." The boy blushed.

"You're awfully quiet." He winked to the child. "Most little boys get excited when I walk in with a toy." The boy looked confused for a second.

"Mommy said Santa couldn't come this year." Realization filled his features. "Is that for me?" Light filled his darling brown eyes.

"It sure is." Gibbs cleared his throat. "My name is Jethro. What's yours?" The boy's eyes grew wider.

"You mean Santa didn't tell you?" Gibbs chuckled.

"No, he didn't tell me. He just said that there was a little boy in this room that needed a toy."

"Wow!" He started to reach out to take the toy, but then drew his hand back, unsure if he was allowed, or if it was rude. He met Jethro's eyes, wonder combined with uncertainty.

"Here." Jethro held it out to him, and he took it, holding it gently. Both guys had tears standing in their eyes as they shared a communal silence.

"Mommy's gonna be surprised! She said that Santa couldn't come. And I'm sad, because we can't help anyone on the Angel Tree this year. Mommy said we can't afford it. Do you think Santa will still go to whatever boy we would have gotten the Angel for? I liked the one that was colored with purple glitter. Will Santa be able to find him?"

"Yeah? Well, Santa tries to come through every year." Gibbs cleared his throat again. "So, what's your name? He's gonna ask me, and I'd better have asked you. After all, he said you were a really good boy this year." The child's ears went red.

"My name is Jerry." He looked down at his boat. "Mommy said I was real good, too." He paused. "Daddy said I was nothing but trouble. Then he went away." Jerry hugged his new toy close. "I get sick a lot, and he got mad."

"It's not your fault, Jerry. If he left, it's because he chose to, not because you're too much trouble." Gibbs stroked the boy's hair. "What's your Mommy's name?"

"Her name is Sarah." His mother stood in the door, confusion on her face. "May I ask who you are?" She had seen the sack in the hall and heard some of the conversation.

"He's one of Santa's helpers, Mommy! He brought me a boat!" Jerry looked to his mother, excitement shining in his eyes.

"He did?" She came forward and hugged her son. He showed her the boat, the whole time relaying how Santa thought he was a good boy, and it wasn't his fault Daddy left, because if it was, Santa would have never brought him a toy.

Gibbs started to leave when he heard a conversation that bothered him.

"How was work, Mommy?"

"Work today was great! I got lots of tips, and then at the station, I got two extra hours." Gibbs stepped into the hall, just out of sight. His gut churned.

"Is that why you're late?"

"Sure is." He heard a sloppy kiss, most likely to Jerry's forehead. "I'm sorry I missed dinner and snack."

"It's ok, Mommy." Silence fell for a moment, and then another question as Gibbs was finally ready to walk away. "Did you eat today, Mommy? You forgot yesterday."

"What, you keeping up with what I eat and don't?"

"Yes." Jerry giggled. "They feed me here, so you can have what I don't eat at home."

"Now when do I ever skip eating?"

"Mommy." Jerry sounded like a frustrated parent, and Gibbs smirked. Kelly could get that tone of voice when she'd thought he was being dense. "Last time I was home for lunch, we only had one hot dog. You gave that to me and said you weren't hungry. But your tummy was grumbling."

"When did you get so observant?"

"What's obs…what?"

"When did you get to watching so careful?" Sarah's voice sounded playful, and the two were off telling stories of other people's Christmas' parties with lots of pretty toys and decorations, which made him remember a commercial he'd seen.

Gibbs stood and listened to Jerry telling his Mommy about a toy he'd seen advertised. He described it in great detail, only to then hear the child finish with a resigned sigh and the knowledge that he'd not get it for Christmas. Sarah apologized.

"I'm so sorry, honey." Her voice wavered. "But the medicine you need costs a lot of money." He heard her draw in a deep breath. "And I have to decide what's more important. You getting all better, or you getting a toy."

"I know, Mommy." Jerry's voice was quiet. "And it's better for me to get all better and live to be a big man than it is to have toys now."

"That's right, Baby." Gibbs inhaled quietly. "Maybe next year, all of the treatments will be done, and we can have a real Christmas."

"Yeah." Jerry spoke, his voice excited once again. "And, maybe, maybe, I can bring a toy to a little boy like me! Just like Jethro!"

"Maybe, Sweetie. What kind of toy do you think you'd bring a boy?"

"I'd bring a boat. Just like this one."

"A boat? Why a boat, and not a car or a train?"

"Jethro brought me a boat. That's what Santa sent for me." His voice was filled with childish wonder. Gibbs turned to grab the last sack, only to find that his father had already distributed most of it.

"Sarah?" He stood outside of their door, speaking softly to let the now sleeping Jerry rest.

"Yes?" She stood and walked over to see what the gray haired man wanted.

"May I come tomorrow and bring him a better present?"

"Why?" Wariness crept over her features.

"Every kid deserves Christmas. My kids, well, they're all grown, and I've got two grandsons. I would just feel better if I knew this little guy didn't have to trade his toys for healthcare."

Sarah nodded after studying him for a moment. She looked past him to the elderly gentleman approaching. He had twinkling blue eyes that were similar to the man before her.

"Leroy, all done. I see you've met a pretty lady." He smiled, and Sarah found herself at ease.

"Jack, I'd like for you to meet Sarah. Sarah, my Dad, Jack." Jack held out his hand, and Sarah shook it.

"Hi, I'm Sarah, and your son gave my son a boat."

"Ah, yes, the boat. He makes one of those every year. Pretty special toy." Jack's eyes laughed, as usual.

Jerry coughed in his sleep, and Sarah looked back at his tiny form.

"He's a special boy." She spoke quietly. "He's had such a rough year."

"Can I ask what's wrong?" Jack asked.

"He has a hole in his heart. They think it can be fixed, and they're going to do the surgery as soon as he is healthy enough, but he's caught every cold that's gone around his school." She shrugged. "I tried daycare, but every day, there was one kid or another that had a fever or runny nose. School, the kids sneeze all the time. He's allergic to dust, so that's been a challenge."

"I'm sorry. I'm babbling." She looked properly chagrined.

"No problem. Anything we can do?"

"No, he's just got to get over this last bout with bronchitis, and once that's done, he should be able to have the surgery."

The Gibbs men shared a quick look, bid the young woman good night, and left the hospital. Without really discussing it, Jethro pulled into the nearest shopping center. These places were always open late on Christmas Eve. Both men grabbed carts, and while one started over in the building sets, the other started with the battery-operated gizmos.

Jethro decided between three different erector sets, putting the one he thought would be best in the cart, then moved onto the legos. He already had Lincoln logs, three hot wheels with a track, and a fishing pole that he hoped to show the boy how to use this coming summer. It was not often a child touched him so. He shook his head at himself. He enjoyed, children, always had. But on Christmas, he'd always taken the toys, made quick work of delivering them, and headed home to a bottle of bourbon and silence. How he'd wasted those years on sorrow.

With sudden realization, he understood why this child meant so much to him. The boy had the same start in life that Tony had. Gibbs felt anger burn in him at the boys absent father.

Jackson looked over electronic books and computer games. He had heard the ladies in his store talking about Leap Frog stuff, and he'd considered some of it for LJ, so he picked up the basic set along with two books about Franklin the Turtle. Moving on to the games, he figured the child wouldn't have game boys or anything of that nature, so he got two games that were self-enclosed. One was _Gone Fishing, _and the other was a car game that he couldn't pronounce. Both took AA batteries, so he picked up twenty of them. He moved to the remote controlled cars next. Finding a fire truck with lights and a siren, he got the needed batteries, and went in search of his son.

"Thought you said 10 things each, Leroy." Jackson chuckled at the cart that was piled high. In it were coloring books, crayons, an etch-a-sketch, four or five plastic dinosaurs, two sharks, a whale, and a Let's Play Doctor Set along with several large boxes of building sets and the like.

"Changed my mind." Gibbs looked over to his dad. "Got everything you liked?"

"Yep. Think I saw more than I'd ever dreamed of them making for kids." Gibbs nodded, and the two men headed for checkout.

Jackson whistled at the price, but said nothing as Jethro handed over his credit card. Once outside, they loaded everything quickly, and moved to the next store. Jackson waited by their loot while Gibbs went in and bought a gift certificate and came back out. Jackson looked at him questioningly.

"Working two jobs, Jack. Kid asked if she'd eaten that day." He shrugged. "I'd say that gives concern that she's not always able to afford it."

Around midnight, they finally had everything wrapped and ready to go. It was sitting by the door in the same bags that had held the wooden toys. Gibbs smiled to himself as he laid the blanket over his father. He'd get up early and go. That way, Jack would be here for the others when they arrived. He fell asleep in his recliner, book in hand.

Lydia was already asleep upstairs. She'd gone to bed shortly after getting Tony, who was as excited as she'd ever seen any child, to sleep. That much energy wore her out.

Tony crept out of his room mere hours later and looked at the two men who had become his father and grandfather. He grabbed his sleeping bag that Dad had put in the corner for him earlier and laid it out before the tree, falling back to sleep before he realized he'd even closed his eyes. All was right. He was home.

Jethro cracked an eye open, smiling as he took in the picture before him.


	46. Pickle Presents and Other Weirdness

Disclaimer: Don't own it.

Note: Headbanger Rockstar rocks… especially when she'll beta so much for me all at once! Ptbbbbb!

Gibbs snuck around the house, quickly getting everything he needed. He had most of it with him, but there was one thing. He needed Lydia's gloves. She'd mentioned wanting a scarf to go with them, and he kept forgetting to pick it up. He liked finding little ways to surprise her.

Jethro got to his favorite coffee shop around six and called the hospital, speaking with the head nurse of the day, gaining permission to deliver gifts to a sleeping child. While he would not be allowed in, an orderly would be waiting at the doors to accept them. He let the nurse know he'd be in later that day to visit Jerry, and hanging up, he composed a short note to Sarah, explaining that he'd not been able to settle on a gift for her son, and to know that these were gifts, with no payment expected.

He drove at his usual speed, wanting to be back home before Tony woke. He'd smiled nearly laughed when he'd woken this morning. Tony was laying on his back, head turned to the side, one hand near his head, a leg bent up as if trying to sit cross legged while laying down. Jethro had chuckled as his boy sneezed in his sleep, rubbing his face with a closed hand. The perfect picture of innocence. Too bad it wouldn't last. He'd be awake soon. And he needed to hit Wal-Mart before he headed home as well. Busy morning.

Gibbs met a man dressed in white at the doors, handing off four sacks of gifts.

"Which rooms?"

"Only one." Gibbs looked at the young man sternly. "These are to go to Jerry in Pediatrics, room 3014. I'll be back later today, and he better have gotten everything."

"Yes, sir. He will." The younger man swallowed. "I just figured with everything here, that it'd be going to several kids." Gibbs relaxed a bit.

"Nope, just Jerry." He then got into his car and pulled away, hoping that he would be there for Tony. It was tradition.

Gibbs opened the door silently and tiptoed past the living room and into the kitchen where Lydia had already started a pot of coffee.

"Where did you go so early this morning? And without coffee?" He told her about Jerry and Sarah. She kissed his cheek, told him he was a softie, and headed upstairs to get dressed. He grinned as he set her gloves and the new matching scarf on the back of her chair. It wasn't worth a Christmas present, but it'd make her smile.

Ten minutes later, his dad came in and helped himself, sitting down at the chair opposite of Jethro. He started to work the crossword puzzle, both of the men sipping coffee as they waited. It didn't take long. Tony bounded into the kitchen, holding the pickle from the Christmas Tree.

He grinned and held it out to Jethro, his eyes brimming with humor. Jethro simply took it and handed Tony a small package in return. No one had spoken yet. Tony sat and tore into the paper, his eyes shining with excitement as he opened the "pickle present". It was always something silly, simply to make the young man smile. This year, it was a horrible movie from the 60's. "The Giant of Marathon". Sold only at dollar stores everywhere. Tony laughed. It was even worse than last years gift, which had been a hot wheel corvette, since he'd said that he wanted a new car for Christmas.

_The pickle present had started from a crazy ornament that Tony had gotten in a White Elephant gift exchange. It was an ugly plastic rendition of a barrel dill. It had come with instructions on how to play the "pickle hunt" on Christmas mornings, and Tony had jokingly showed the gift to Gibbs. There had been a hunger in the young man's eyes. A hunger created by years of being alone on the holidays._

_The following day, when Tony had showed up for lunch, Jethro had picked up a silly gift from the gas station down the road and the pickle was hung prominently on the front of the tree. Tony had grinned and taken it down. _

"_Decided to hang it, huh?" He went to hang it back up, when his surrogate dad had spoken up._

"_I don't want that thing on my tree. Turn it in." Tony had laughed and handed it over in exchange for the bobble head calico cat. The next year, the pickle had been hidden near the trunk of the fake tree. It had taken Tony all of two minutes to find it. Gibbs was getting better at hiding it, and it was now a contest to see how long it would take Tony to find it. _

Tony rose and got his coffee, returning to the table with the puzzle from yesterday's paper. He would never admit to it, but this was his favorite part of Christmas Day. He got his dad all to himself, and what was best, he got his grandpa, too. He grinned to himself, thinking that he really was just a big kid.

After puzzles were worked, Jack stood and headed to the stove, putting shortening into a pan, melting it before adding flour. He fried the flour until it was nearly black before adding milk and spices. Adding sausage that he'd cooked the day before, he popped biscuits in the oven and waited for it all to finish cooking. Tony hovered nearby, as usual refusing to shower and dress until after breakfast.

Lydia came down and shooed the Gibbs men from the kitchen. Jack laughed and told his son that he'd have never let his housekeeper talk to him like that.

"It's not a case of let, Dad, it's a case of just getting out of the way." He yelped when a rolled up towel snapped his butt. He glared at her, and she glared back, both desperately trying to not laugh first.

"So get out of the way." Jack laughed and pulled Tony with him. Jethro followed after sticking out his tongue. Lydia flipped him the bird, then went back to the stove.

"And Jethro?" He stopped in his retreat.

"Yeah?"

"The scarf is perfect. Thanks."

"You're welcome." He walked over to her and gave her a quick peck on the lips. "Thanks for everything you do for us."

"Oh. So you do notice." Gibbs chuckled as he ran up for his shower. Tony was going on about some Christmas parade he wanted to watch.

"What were all those presents for last night, and where'd they go?" Tony popped a grape into his mouth.

"A little guy at the hospital." Jackson stirred the gravy. "Leroy decided he needed a good Christmas."

"Wow. So, Santa delivered them early?" Jethro entered the kitchen, freshly showered.

"Yep. Off before sunrise." Tony smiled and ate another grape. "Go get dressed." Gibbs motioned with his head, but Tony shook his head.

"No. Not had breakfast yet." He grinned as Jackson laughed. Gibbs just rolled his eyes.

"You go get your shower, or you don't get breakfast."

"Yes, Mom." The two older men howled with laughter as he took the stairs two at a time.

Across town, Sarah sat with her hand covering her mouth. She had gasped in surprise when Thom had brought in the sacks of gifts. After being assured that they were indeed for her son, she accepted them and began reading the note Fred carried separately.

Out of the envelope came a gift card to the supermarket along with the note. Her eyes filled with tears as she read. God had truly sent an angel to them.

_Sarah, _

_I couldn't decide what to get him. I don't want you to pay any of this back. I overheard your conversation in the hall. Please don't tell him where they came from. I'll be by later with something little for him. The gift card will help feed you. It's only a hundred dollars. Hopefully it helps. At least it will take another worry off of him, so he can heal faster. _

_Merry Christmas, the Gibbs'_


	47. Jerry and Tony

Disclaimer: Don't own it.

Note: Not a mental health professional, nor do I own the Transformers.

Note: Thanks to my incredible beta, Headbanger Rockstar! Love you! Ptbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb!

The kids had finally all come. They were a noisy mess of voices, arms, legs, toys, and laughter. They spent the day playing games and making comments on how cute the older couple were.

Abby handed LJ off to Lydia, who snuggled the toddler close and kissed his cheek. The young Goth had then earned a groan from Gibbs when she asked her tiny son if he was happy in Grandma's arms. Lydia just laughed and reminded the kids that she and their dad were just friends. And the kids all groaned, while Jackson laughed and told his son to keep dreaming. They'd wake up eventually.

It was lunch, and as they had a big spread planned for dinner, the women set about putting sandwich makings out on the counter, along with paper plates and cans of soda and pitchers of ice water and juice.

About half way through lunch, Gibbs told the family that he'd be taking off for a bit to go visit his new buddy Jerry. He relayed the child's story once again, but this time Tony got quiet. He finally looked up to his dad, tears in his eyes. He asked to go along.

Gibbs agreed, and invited anyone else who would want to go. Most chose to stay at the house. Abby wanted to go, but something was up with her brother. This was something he needed to do. So she said she'd stay at the house. Lydia wanted to go, for which Gibbs was thankful.

Tony was already weepy, and a weepy Tony in an unsettling situation, such as a hospital, was easier handled by two. Besides, Lydia was better at getting him to think things through, better at getting him to settle down from his panic and anxiety attacks. He watched as she stuck his anxiety pills in her pocket without Tony even noticing, and nodded his approval.

The three left shortly after lunch. Tony was beginning to pace, to become anxious as he looked at the clock. He didn't want to miss spending time with this boy, he thought hard and remembered his name, Jerry.

Gibbs drove to the store and Lydia took Tony to go find some inexpensive toy, one that wasn't on the list of what the Gibbs' men had purchased last night. Those were from Santa. This would be from them. Tony chose two toys. One was an Optimus Prime Transformer. He loved the Transformers when he was younger. The other was a jointed snake. Guaranteed to scare any nurse.

Gibbs found a new card, just a simple Merry Christmas card, and once again signed it "the Gibbs'". Lydia picked up a cute bag with a Santa-hat wearing T-Rex, and red and green tissue paper to cover the gifts with. The family met up by the register, and then continued on to the hospital.

#####

Jerry was completely overwhelmed with the gifts. He wasn't sure where to start, or if they really were all his. Maybe they weren't. But his mom kept telling him over and over that they were his. And Mom was never wrong.

Gibbs stood outside of the young boy's room and smiled. Tony peered over his shoulder, before grinning. His Dad wasn't kidding when he said he'd bought a lot of toys. Tony hadn't looked into the bags the night before. If he had, he'd have been jealous.

"Well, looks like he got my message to make sure your toys got delivered here." Gibbs walked into the room, a smile lighting his face. Tony was right on his heels, and Lydia a few steps back.

Sarah rose and looked to Gibbs with shocked eyes. He really had come back! And brought part of his family. She started to laugh, wiping happy tears from her face at the same time. Gibbs let Lydia run interference on that one. Emotions were not his things.

Tony was by Jerry's bed in a flash, starting up a conversation with shy questions and even shyer answers. Within minutes, the shyness wore off, and the "boys" were happy as clams, playing and talking to one another as fast as they could spit out the words.

Lydia and Sarah spoke about Jerry's schooling, and his friends, what he wanted for his birthday, and his favorite colors. Today wasn't a day to discuss his health, even though the older woman wanted to ask very much. Today was a happy day. And it needed to stay that way.

During a lull in their conversation, the three adults overheard Tony talking to Jerry.

"It's not your fault, you know."

"What isn't?"

"Your dad."

"That's what Mom says. Part of me knows it's not me, but what if I was…" Tony cut him off.

"No, it's not your fault. My dad, my first dad, was mean like yours. I couldn't ever do anything right. Even when I did my best." Jerry nodded, his eyes wide. His dad was just like Tony's first dad.

"What did you do?"

"I grew up hiding."

"How did you hide?"

"I laughed at everything. Even when things hurt. I never let myself feel, and I always blamed myself for everything. Even when it wasn't my fault, I took the blame." Jerry lowered his eyes and nodded.

"I do that, too." He sniffled, and Sarah wanted to go to him, but she'd been trying to explain this to him for months. Perhaps this man could get through to him.

"But you shouldn't." Jerry looked up at Tony, confused.

"How do I not do it? How do I know what is my fault and what isn't?" Tony thought for a moment, and Lydia grabbed Jethro's hand. Maybe Tony was beginning to understand it himself.

"Sometimes, you won't know if it's your fault or not." He stopped, thinking of how he wanted to go on. "But that's why you have your mom. If she tells you it's not your fault, you have to believe her. Keep telling yourself over and over, and ask her to tell you over and over, until you believe it."

"Believe what?"

"That you're not a mess up. That you are a special boy, that not everything is your fault, that your dad being mean isn't your fault, that you being sick isn't your fault, and that he left because he was a mess up. Not you."

"Do you have to ask?"

"Every day. I didn't have a dad for a long time. Then I met Gibbs. He's my Dad, and Lydia is my Mom." It was as if the two had forgotten they had an audience. "I have to ask Lydia almost every day if she's tired of helping me. If Dad wants me to move. And she just smiles and says that no, they're not tired.

"They love me, and want to see me get better. And I have to ask if I'm a mess up because I get scared, and start getting nervous. And Mom tells me no, that I'm not. That I'm getting better every day."

"What happened? Why are you having to get better?"

"I didn't have anyone to tell me that I wasn't a mess up. So I kept it all in. I said inside for years and years what my first dad had said. That I was a screw up. That I couldn't do anything right. That everything is my fault."

"What happened? After years and years?" Jerry's voice was as thick as any child's could get. He knew what this man was talking about. He had the same thoughts. Thoughts that made him feel sad and worthless.

"My mind, my brain got tired of wearing masks."

"Masks?"

"Yeah. What happens when you put on a mask?"

"You look like someone else."

"Do you know what happens when your heart and mind wear a mask?" Jerry looked up to the man standing by his bed. He understood. Sometimes he felt like he was playing dress-up, only on the inside.

"So if I ask if something is my fault, and Mom says no, trust her?"

"Yeah, buddy. Trust her. And if you're scared or sad, tell her. That's what moms are for."

##########

When the three got back home, Lydia and Jethro went to the basement for a moment, but Tony jumped right in with the game going on among his siblings. His nephews reached out to him, and he held both of them, bouncing one on each knee as he chanted in time to The Ministers' Cat.

Downstairs, Jethro sanded for a few minutes, getting his thoughts in order while Lydia paced, calming her tears. She'd held them back in the hospital room, the whole ride home, and now struggled to keep them down. Gibbs finally put down his sanding block and held her tight, letting her cry.

"Thank you." He whispered against her ear.

"You taught him, Jethro." Gibbs shook his head.

"Not that, I didn't. I've been gone so much, that was all you."

Jack went searching for them several minutes later. He was wondering what was wrong. Both had tense looks on their faces when they'd come in, but Tony seemed… freer than he had been. The older man was concerned. He opened the door quietly, and smiled at the sight.

Jethro and Lydia stood in open space, nothing to support them but the other. Jethro's eyes were closed as his head rested on hers. She nestled under his chin, her arms wrapped around him. His held her, encasing her arms under his, making a sort of cocoon that she found haven in.

Jack still had no answers, but whatever had happened, all would be well. He shut the door and returned to the living room, only to hear peels of laughter as Ziva lost on the letter Q. The ministers' cat couldn't be a "quibbler" cat. He should have been a "quibbling" cat.


	48. Presents at Last

Disclaimer: Don't own

Note: Thanks Headbanger Rockstar! You rock, dude! Ptbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb! Love ya!

It was finally time for presents. The general consensus was that Gibbs would distribute the gifts. And so began the fun. Everyone had drawn names, and didn't know who had bought for them. Sort of like a crazy Secret Santa.

Most of the gifts were gag gifts. At least among the siblings. Tony got a new Mighty Mouse stapler… this one had a cloth cape that he'd have to be sure to not staple to anything. Ziva got a gigantic paperclip complete with a sharpening stone. Tim got a mouse for his computer… that was housed inside a stuffed cat. And Abby got lawn ornaments. They were skeleton gnomes wearing Santa hats. She loved them. Tim groaned, as he realized he'd just joined the group of oddballs who had Christmas decorations up all year.

Jack got a bottle of cologne. Au de toilet. The bottle was shaped like a toilet, and no one was willing to find out what it smelled like. Lydia got an apron with a teddy bear totally blowing her cork. The captioning said "Pressured Cook". She finished opening it up all the way, and a coffee mug rolled out of its folds. It read "I'm the Mama Bear, that's why."

LJ and Oded got real presents, and so many of them that their parent's weren't sure of how to get them all home. The kicker, however, was the rocking horses. Gibbs had made each of them their own horse. The manes were made of raffia, as well as the tails. The seats were wide and made for their cushy bottoms. And below were little shelves that were the perfect spot to set bottles and tiny toys while they rocked.

Gibbs opened his box, and a hush fell over the room. Anticipation hung in the air. Everyone knew what this gift was, apparently. Everyone but him. Inside were two things. One coffee mug which read "Support your local hooker: buy him bait.", and a t-shirt, which proudly proclaimed to the world "Captains do it on the deck"… with about twenty fish strung below the words.

He turned the shirt around and his children all laughed. They'd have to get him wearing it some time. Especially if he was out with Lydia.

The family kept laughing and teasing one another about their gifts as they set about getting ready for dinner. Once dinner was finished and on the table, they sat in close quarters and ate, reaching over one another, short stopping dishes just to annoy someone, and eating far too much.

Dinner was over, and the babies were getting tired and cranky. Oded had pulled LJ's hair, and LJ had poked Oded's cheek, so they sat in a rare moment of mutual dislike for the other. All would be forgotten after a nap, but the two were messes of tears.

Ziva left first, as it started to snow and she had farther to go. Gibbs offered to have them stay the night, but she wanted to get home and start cleaning up her mess from the morning. She'd wanted Oded to have a good first Christmas, and wasn't quite sure how the child was going to react to wrapping paper. She'd not expected the veritable indoor blizzard he'd subjected her to.

The McGee's were next, and Tony went with up to his room not long after they left to spend some quality time with his favorite new toy. A battery operated remote control robot. For the next two hours, he used it to clean his room. Picking up his shoes had never been so fun.

Jack went up to the nursery, as he was sleeping up there that night. Lydia was going to go home, as the "older" guys weren't going anywhere for the evening. He really didn't need to go up, but he felt the need to give Jethro and his girl some time. Even if they denied their love or attraction. They needed a minute.

#####

The couple went downstairs and worked in the quiet. She sewed, he sanded. Jethro wondered if he should perhaps offer to take her out somewhere, but he was enjoying the quiet too much. He looked over to her, amazed that he could enjoy being quiet with someone so much. His ex-wives had felt the need to talk. Lydia was comfortable with silence. It was nice.

Lydia was the first to break the silence. He was almost surprised when she spoke.

"I have something for you."

"Oh?"

"Yeah." She rose and pulled two small packages from her sewing bag. He took them and smirked at her.

"Thought we said no gifts?"

"Did we say that?" He sat by her and bumped his shoulder into hers. He opened the first package, a plain manila envelope. He pulled out a picture, and he smiled. It was his family. All four of his "kids" and his two grandchildren.

"When did you get this done?"

"Just a few weeks ago when you were stuck in MTAC and everyone else was home."

"I was only gone for three hours."

"Yeah?" She grinned. "I have fast fingers and am very determined." He laughed. He'd not argue with that. Determined didn't even begin to describe her. He opened the next package and started to laugh.

In a little jewelry box were a set of cuff links. Little white ones with green fluid in them and an air bubble in the fluid. Tiny functioning levels. He suddenly couldn't wait until the next time he had to wear a suit. These would make the suit fun. And if Fornell were there…. He laughed thinking about it.

"Like them?"

"I do." He gave her a tight one-armed hug. "I got something for you, too. Not nearly this humorous."

"And this coming from the man who just griped and asked if we didn't agree to no presents." He knew better than to believe the irritation in her voice. She was happy.

"I wanted to be the only one with a present." She cocked an eyebrow. "You know, makes me better than you." He laughed and ducked the small recently finished pillow that flew at his head.

He tossed it back to her, and carried a large box to his workbench. He used his head to motion her over. She came over and pulled off the pillowcase covering. Her eyes widened, and she reached out tentatively.

"It's yours, Lydia. You can touch it."

"It's beautiful." And indeed, the most beautiful armoire she'd ever seen sat before her. It was fashioned from a deep cherry, standing on carefully carved legs. The doors had glass in them, not plain glass, but window-like panes that had a hummingbird in one, and a honeysuckle flower in the other.

He watched her carefully. He'd only known her for months, but she'd become precious to him. Not for what she did for his family, but in that she was willing to understand him. That she accepted him as he was.

He considered asking her to dinner, but decided against it immediately. He was terrible with relationships. This friendship, as odd as it was, made him happier in many ways than he'd been since Shannon. And it was because with his other relationships, he'd been trying to replace his beloved wife. This woman let him know in no uncertain terms that she was not Shannon. Nor was she Diane, or Stephanie, or the wench with the seven iron, or Jenny, or Hollis… she was herself. An original.

An original he was finding himself more and more attracted to. But he was too afraid of losing her friendship to ask her on another date.

Too bad they couldn't just wake up married one day. But that assumed she felt the same way about him. And there was no way she could be. A nearly ready to retire Marine who had more divorces than she had pairs of shoes. Even if she had moments of liking him, there was no way she'd want to stay. Not if she couldn't get away from him on occasion.

He stayed lost in thought until he heard her chuckle. She'd opened the doors and found the little charm he'd hung for her. He'd found it at the craft store when he'd picked up her glass. It was a bracelet with little needles, spools, scissors, and rulers hanging from it. On little oval pieces were written the words "One Crafty Lady".

"This is perfect, Jethro." She turned to him and stood on tiptoe, kissing his cheek. "Thank you so much."

#####

On her drive home, she thought of how different Jethro and Hank were. One was abusive, the other was gruff. One was a drunk and drug addict, the other drank bourbon, but in moderation. One was silent with oppressive anger, the other silent with comfort and no need to fill the air with useless words.

She ran her hand lovingly over the beautiful jewelry box he'd made for her and thought of how wonderful of a man Jethro was. He was rough, he was not always pleasant. He could be a right old bastard. And he could be evil enough to enjoy every pissy moment of it. But under all of his bluster and glaring, there was a caring man.

One that she'd willingly learn to love, if and when she could see him and not feel the need to catalogue him and then compare him to her late husband. He deserved better than that.


	49. Happy Anniversary

Disclaimer: Don't own it.

Note: Thanks to Headbanger Rockstar, my fabulous beta!

Note: This was supposed to go before the Christmas Chapters, but after Thanksgiving... my apologies! Call it moving insanity!

Tim looked at the calendar. Hmmm. He and Abby's first anniversary was only two weeks away, and with all of the busyness surrounding the family with Tony's illness and recovery, he'd forgotten to plan. Not to mention the fact that it was nearing Christmas.

He thought for a few minutes and picked up the phone. One place to start was to find a baby sitter. If they had a sitter, then he would know better what to do. How to plan. If he could take her out to a romantic dinner, or if they needed to go somewhere family friendly.

"Gibbs."

"Hey, Boss."

"Hi. What's up?"

"Well, Abby and my anniversary is coming up, and well, I was wondering if you could keep LJ for a bit that night." He was quiet for a moment, and thought maybe Gibbs would say no. "Not for a long time, just maybe long enough for us to go to dinner."

"McGee." Gibbs spoke quietly, like a long-suffering parent. "It's your first anniversary. She's had a baby. You two have not had much time alone since you got married. Not even a full eight weeks of aloneness." He chuckled. "Of course I'll keep him."

"Oh, good."

"On one condition."

"Oh, yes, Boss. Whatever you need."

"I'll keep him the whole night, McGee. You take Abby out, have a good time, and let me walk the floors, ok?" Gibbs felt a thrill, already excited about getting LJ for the whole night.

"Oh, that'd be great!" McGee's smile reached his voice, and Gibbs chuckled. He could just imagine how Abby was going to react. He guffawed as he realized the young woman would have his head for wanting to keep her baby all night.

Tim McGee sat down to his computer, LJ on his lap, as soon as Abby was in the shower. He needed to find the perfect gift. Not jewelry. She was saying how she had too much of it. Not clothes. She'd just donated a whole box of stuff. No more knick-knacks. He wasn't even sure how they all got dusted, anyway. They seemed to have some "no dust allowed" sign on them somewhere. One more may tip the balance.

Then he stumbled upon it. A book. And not just any book. No, this one was simply called "101 Ways To Say I Love You." It was written by Cucan Pemo. Just like his Abby, he needed to get out of the box.

Ideas started running through his mind. The conversation where she admitted to loving putt-putt golf, and yet they'd never gone. The time she'd told him, long before they finally ended up together, when they first met, of having read in a story of a man getting a bath ready for his love with rose petals in the water. Of how beautiful it was, and how she thought it was the most romantic thing she'd ever read. He chuckled as he thought of her next comment, "You know, McGee. Romantic, romantic. Not like, creepy romantic, which is totally cool, too." Followed by one of her brilliant smiles.

Notes. She loved notes. He could write her a note. What to say and where to hide it. Hmmm. His favorite things she did. How she always made sure her part was perfect for her pig tails. How she playfully smacked his shoulder when he made too many noises in the mornings. Which he found himself doing just to see her smile.

Money was tight. He'd spent most of his savings on the wedding, the house, and LJ's birth. They could eat in. He nearly clapped with glee as he began to plan their evening, locking it down under a code he hoped his wife wouldn't break for fun. That was something that annoyed him, and yet he loved it at the same time. She could break a code as fast as he could.

She came from the bathroom and watched him as he chuckled, typing one handed, LJ resting on his shoulder, held firmly by the hand not currently typing. He was up to something. She smiled and went back to getting dressed. If he wanted her to know, he'd tell her. If not, she'd be surprised.

Until Tim came along with his amazing sense of wonder in life and his great timing for things, she'd hated surprises. But not any longer. She loved his.

He heard her moving in the bedroom, and quickly closed down his file. It wouldn't do for her to see it. He had his note partially written.

Two weeks later, Abby got into her car and lowered her visor. It was a bright day, and she needed her sunglasses. Tim had needed to go in early, which upset her a little. It was their anniversary, and she thought perhaps he'd forget. There was no case, so she wasn't quite sure why he needed to go, but when Gibbs calls, you don't ask questions. She had loaded her present to Tim in the car along with the day's necessities, such as LJ's diaper bag and her lunch.

LJ was chewing contentedly on his ducky washcloth, gurgling with pleasure. A plain white envelope fell down into her lap. She picked it up, and tears filled her eyes. In Tim's most perfect calligraphy, were written the words, "My Darling Wife."

She opened it, and read, laughing at some things, crying at others. The entire time, she felt loved. Her husband had written a list of 1000 words that described her for him. Words that showed how he thought of her, what he loved about her, found humorous about her. Words that she knew she'd treasure forever.

She arrived at the office twenty minutes later, and took LJ down to the daycare. She then went down to her lab and called her husband's phone. He answered after two rings.

"McGee."

"Timmy!" She was thrilled to hear his voice. "That letter was amazing!" Upstairs, McGee smiled and sat up straighter. He grinned to his boss, who gave him a thumbs up.

"I'm glad you liked it."

"Liked it? I love it! Can you come down here for a minute?" Her voice was low and husky, something she knew was unfair to do in the workplace. "I wanna say thanks. You know. In person."

"Be right there." Gibbs laughed as his son left, his ears aflame. He wondered just what Abby had said.

McGee stepped into Abby's lab, and was immediately drawn into a hug. She put her head on his shoulder and sighed. He relaxed into her, and just enjoyed holding her. This was one of the things he loved so much about her. A hug was often more intimate that the most passionate of kisses. She had a way of letting her love and contentment simply flow from her and fill him. This was one of those times.

They stood for several moments, until she loosened her hold and stepped back. They smiled at one another.

"I love you, Abby."

"I love you, too, Tim." She closed in for a kiss, and he met her halfway. Keeping it decent, since they were at work, he released her far too quickly to his way of thinking.

"Happy anniversary." He smiled. "I'm sorry, but we're not really able to do a lot of things today. We just don't have the money. You know, the wedding, LJ, the house, it all added up." He sighed. "You deserve so much, and one day, you'll get it all, but right now…." She stopped his apology.

"Timmy, if that letter is all there is to the day, it's already been perfect." She danced away from him. "Here. This is for you." She held up a tiny package. He looked at her questioningly.

"I know what our checkbook looks like, Tim. I stayed in budget, too." He grinned and opened his package. Taking off the cover, he roared with laughter.

Inside were two little boxes, one with the words "three piece chicken dinner" burned into the wood, and three kernels of corn were glued to it. The other said "quarter pounder", and a quarter was glued to it, with a tiny wooden sledgehammer angled above it. Only Abby.

He looked up and she held another package in her hands. This one was wrapped in a shiny black paper, and was much larger. He opened it, and looked at her, confusion evident. It was a set of video games. All his favorites. All of the ones he thought he'd thrown away months ago. And four new ribbons for his typewriter. What was this about?

"Abby, what…" She smiled lovingly at him.

"Timmy, you are an amazing husband, and an amazing father. You spend so much time working, and being responsible. You have given so much to LJ and I, so much time and love. You keep him so I can go grocery shopping without him crying half way through. You throw in a load of laundry in the middle of the night so I have less to do in the day." She ran a finger down his cheek, and stepped closer.

"This is the gift of time, Tim. The gift of time for yourself. To do things you want to do. And not worry about feeling like you're not being a good man." He smiled, finally understanding. "To be the man I fell in love with. The writer who loves to play video games and be goofy."

He gathered her close in another hug, just enjoying the contact, when Gibbs cleared his throat.

"All right. All right. If you're done playing grab-ass…" The McGee's jumped apart and Gibbs gave them their assignments in researching a cold case. The older man shook his head on his way out the door, trying hard to not laugh. Those two were just too much.

Five o'clock came, and Tim went down to get his wife. Gibbs had disappeared several minutes ago, presumably to get LJ from the daycare. Abby was dancing to some music that he couldn't hear, but she was obviously in a good mood. He smiled, just watching her dance.

Motherhood had changed her body slightly. She had a little roll in the front that refused to go away. It wasn't noticeable to anyone but her, but it drove her nuts, and she sometimes dressed to "hide" it. Today was one of those days. Her shirt was longer, slightly looser than others she owned. She'd kept 5 pounds of baby fat, but where he couldn't really tell. Her curves were, well, slightly more curvy, but he'd not complain about that at all. Nursing was giving her obvious, um, perks, and he'd not complain about those, either. She really was more beautiful today than she was a year ago.

McGee opened the door and shouted over the music that was thumping like a pulse through the air. He clicked the stereo to mute, and she turned around. He loved her like this. Face flushed from exercise, excitement of finding new evidence dancing in her eyes. Joy at seeing him spread across her face.

"Who needs money?" He thought to himself.

"Hi!" She bounced across the floor to envelope him in a hug.

"Hey! Ready to go?" He kissed her lightly.

"Sure am! Just gotta go get LJ."

"About that." This was where it would get sticky. "Gibbs is gonna keep him for a while for us, ok, that way we can have a dinner, just us."

"Well, I gotta go say bye, then." Her face fell.

"What's wrong, Abs?" Gibbs spoke from the door. He held LJ in his arms, the baby patting his shoulder like there was some secret that would be released if he only found the right rhythm.

He'd said his first word only a week before, and of course it was a weird one that he chanted over and over with his taps to Grandpa shoulder. "Duce. Duce. Duce."

"I just feel guilty. Like, today is so special, and if he's not with us, then I'm not being a good mom, and if I'm not a good mom…" Gibbs stepped over and handed LJ to her.

"He's almost a year old, Abby. This is the first you've not had him all the time." He kissed her forehead. "I got him. Really. Go on. Have fun." She smiled up at him.

"You sure?"

"Of course I'm sure!" He knew she was going to kill him but better from him than Tim. "We're gonna be fine, and I'll keep him until you're ready to get him tomorrow."

"Tomorrow! Gibbs, I can't…" He smiled patiently through her rant, letting Tim step in and calm her. She was actually in tears.

"Honey, it's ok. He's stayed with Grandpa before."

"Yeah. For naps, and afternoons away, and for dinner out. But never all night."

"They'll be ok. I promise." She took a deep breath and looked Gibbs in the eye.

"Any problems, you'll call?"

"Absolutely. Anything wrong at all, I'll call."

"Milk! You need milk!" Gibbs chuckled.

"You've got enough in my freezer to float a battle ship, Abs, remember? You left it the last time I kept him for two hours. Besides, he's on to eating a little fruit and oatmeal now, too. We'll be fine."

"What about diapers…."

"Abs." He cut her off, his eyes twinkling. "Really, I got it covered. We've got outfits, we've got baby wipes, we'll be fine." He took LJ back and kissed her cheek. "Go enjoy yourself. Call if you need to."

The McGee's went home and changed, Abby wondering what her hubby was up to when he told her to dress in something comfy. He wore jeans and a pull over sweater. What on earth was he thinking? He told her dark colors would be better, so she chose all black clothing, and he nodded his approval.

They drove to the mall, Abby pestering him for details the entire way. He just shook his head, grinning. She squealed in delight as he led her to a little out of the way place down a nearly deserted hall.

"No way! Glow in the dark putt-putt!" She kissed him thoroughly. "Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!"

He laughed and paid for two games. Grabbing their fluorescent balls and putters, they stepped through the doors into a room lit by black light, and painted with iridescent colors. They were the only two as of yet. Tim stepped up first and put his ball down. His was orange, hers was yellowish green.

His first putt went wide, bouncing off of the sideboards and coming back to his feet. She giggled and placed her ball, hitting it slightly harder. It went up the ramp straight, stopping just shy of the cup.

"Nice one." He gave her a celebratory kiss, and placed his own ball. Following her example, he got his ball up on the level, glad when it stopped rather than roll back down.

"What say we make a little wager." She spoke softly, grinning the entire time.

"Yeah? What ya got in mind?" He stepped closer and leaned in to her.

"How about the winner of each hole gets to kiss the loser."

"Hmmm. That works." He wiggled his eyebrows comically. "Think we may both try losing." She kissed his cheek.

"Or winning. You wouldn't want just kisses to your cheek all night, now, would you?"

"No, Ma'am." He chuckled as she sank her next putt. "Now, no matter what I hit, I lose. How about if we just call this one a draw?"

"No." Abby pouted. "The one with the lowest score gets to pick dinner."

"You're on." He putted, determined to win the game.

Eight holes and lots of laughter and making out later, they left and headed to the grocery store. Abby had won, and decided what she wanted. He'd just chuckled and agreed. Again, it was pure Abby.

They sat down to a dinner of potatoes au gratin, asparagus, coleslaw, and bacon wrapped filet mignon. She'd cooked, insisting that he go and play some of the games she'd given to him earlier that day. He was so involved with his gaming that he was unaware of her standing in the doorway, smiling wistfully as she watched him set things up.

She heard something sizzle and turned back to the stove, pulling off the offending pan. Ten minutes later, she called him in. They ate slowly, talking over the last year. Once dinner was done, she gave in to the urge and called Gibbs. It was only 9, so she knew there was no chance that LJ was asleep yet.

"Gibbs." She heard the laughter in his voice.

"Hey, Grandpa. How's my little man?" She put him on speaker, and Tim sat by her, rubbing her shoulders.

"We're doing great here." He put it on speaker himself, his phone making an awful squeak in the process. "Wanna say "hi" to Mommy and Daddy?" They could hear LJ giggling, and when he heard Mommy and Daddy, his noises grew.

"Duce! Duce!" He banged what had to be a pot lid.

"Hi, Baby!" Abby's smile made Tim glad she'd called. "Are you having fun?"

"Duce!" Then he shocked them all by saying his second word. "Mama!" Grandpa looked over at Lydia, who smiled. She'd been trying for the last two hours to get him to say it. "Duce! Mama!" He giggled and leaned over, grabbing a spoon. He was having the time of his life.

"Oh my word!" Abby shrieked in happiness. "He said Mama!" She gave Tim a huge hug, grinning the entire time. At the same time, tears ran down her face. "He said Mama, and I'm not there."

"Because he knows who you are, Abs." Gibbs voice was gentle. "He knows exactly who Mama is. Don't you little guy?" LJ giggled from where he sat on the floor with Lydia.

He looked to the phone and squealed with delight. "Mama!"

They talked for a few more minutes and ended their call. Gibbs looked to his friend and smiled. They had been through so much in just the few months they'd known one another. This was just another thing to add to their memories. He shook his head. He could see himself falling in love with her. And screwing it up without thinking. No, friends was better. This was one woman he had no intention of losing.

Tim asked Abby to give him five minutes, and then join him in their room. She smiled and agreed, wondering what her suddenly romantic husband had in mind. She wasn't sure if this side of her geek always existed, or if he pulled it out for special occasions. But she decided she liked it. Very much.

She heard water running and she listened closely at the door, her urge to peek almost overtaking her. She waited, bouncing on her toes and dancing around, trying to keep herself occupied. She went into the kitchen, checking and organizing the spice rack. Finally the five minutes were up. She sprinted to their room, only to have Tim meet her at the door.

It was closed. She looked at him and raised an eyebrow, silently begging him to let her see.

He wrapped her in a tight embrace, whispering in her ear of how much he loved her. When he drew back, his lips met hers. Keeping their kiss gentle, he ran his hands up and down her back, finally drawing her lower body flush with his. She grinned when he broke his lips from hers.

"Wow." She breathed, out of breath, but happy. "Not kissed like that in ages."

"I know." He looked serious for a moment. "I don't tell you I love you as often as I should, and I don't take the time to love you like I should." He grinned as her thoughts flashed across her face. "Oh, we do that plenty. But I mean the other stuff. Showing you how much I love you." He kissed her again.

"One of my gifts to you today is a coupon." She looked at him, wondering what he meant. "A coupon that is redeemable whenever you need it."

"And what is this coupon for, my wonderful husband?"

"It's good for an evening of pampering. And to show you what I have in mind…" He opened the door and stepped aside, motioning her to go first.

Candles made a soft glow, creating warmth around them. Rose petals, stripped from their stems, made a path to the ensuite bathroom. She followed it, her breath caught in her chest. It was just like in the story she had told him about years ago. Even to the rose petals in the water, and the soft scent that they created.

"Oh, Tim…"


	50. Toddler Beds, Rockers, and Thread

Disclaimer: Don't own it…

Note: Thanks to Headbanger Rockstar for being my incredible, awesome beta!

Note: I am moving in the morning, HOORAY! So I'll probably not have any new chapters for a bit. But I will be back! So if you're reading this, thank you! And if you're not reading, well, I guess it won't matter to you… heheehee HAPPY THANKSGIVING! Eat LOTS of turkey!

And… I'm posting on a morning when I'm waiting for my ride to take me out of here. Does that make me an addict? Hmm. "Hi. My name is GotGoats, and I'm addicted to writing and posting fan fiction." (stands and waves.) And loves the fact that I'm moving! I WON'T BE AN HOUR FROM A GROCERY STORE ANYMORE!

######

Tony was helping Jethro clean out the garage when the younger man mentioned that Lydia's garage was a total monkey puzzle. Boxes were stacked, some of them haphazardly. She'd been sorting things out at night, working to pare down her husbands things into a few plastic totes for preservation.

The younger man talked of how Lydia described her marriage. It had been good in the beginning. She really believed he loved her. Perhaps he did. But then he'd had an accident and began to use prescription drugs. Use them, and become addicted to them.

Hank had become angry, sometimes hitting her, sometimes yelling or calling her names. Gibbs' listened silently. He heard with anger he could do nothing about, to the tale of a man who had destroyed his life.

Hank had finally ruined his body with drugs, making himself so weak and fragile that he'd caught every illness around. He died due to an overdose and the common cold.

While he had once been a well known pulmonologist, he died nearly broke, and would have been homeless had Lydia not taken him back in. Gibbs looked up at Tony when he said that.

"Oh, he left two years before he died. He was having an affair, and when he got sick, his girlfriend kicked him out. He didn't know where to go, so he went to talk with Lydia." He shrugged. "She never let him back into her bedroom, but she let him live with her until he died." Tony was quiet a moment.

"Think I'll ever find anyone to love me that much, Dad? Someone who'll love me even when I mess up?"

"I hope so, son." Gibbs choked out. Later that afternoon, they showed up to Lydia's, his step ladder in the back of his truck. He and Tony carried boxes to her living room until the younger man tired. Lydia sent Tony to nap, and Jethro continued. He made several trips to and from her dumpster, getting rid of junk, making sure that keepsakes were safe, and organizing things onto shelves.

When the Gibbs men left that evening, her living room was clean, her garage was clean, and she felt lighter than she had in nearly four years. She sat that evening with her feet up, sipping a rare cup of tea. Taking a deep sigh, she sent thanks heavenward for her wonderful friends once again.

########

LJ had jumped from his crib only four days ago, and while he was perfectly fine, Ziva was terrified that Oded would try it. So she was thinking of getting him a toddler bed, even though he wasn't quiet a year yet. He was eleven months. And a dare devil.

Gibbs tried to reassure her than Oded was unlikely to jump, but the poor woman was nearly frantic. There was an indoor flea market only about twenty minutes away, so Gibbs decided he'd run down there. Tony didn't want to go, but he was planning to go to Tim and Abby's for lunch, anyway.

Lydia asked if she could go, and he waited for her to get everything on the stove turned off and stored away. She grabbed her jacket and followed him out the door. They stopped at the bank on the way, and he presented her with her next weeks pay. She grinned. He knew her too well.

Once there, they headed off toward the furniture side, eager to find Oded a tiny bed. It didn't take long. There was a man there who seemed to peddle mostly children's furniture. He had seven toddler beds, one of which was perfect.

It was a bed that looked to be handmade. It was smooth, but had a smiling teddy bear carved in relief in the headboard. The entire headboard was designed with tiny animals stamped into it. The stamps allowed the animal to be "seen" when Jethro ran his fingers over them. It was perfect for his grandson.

He paid the $50.00 the vender was asking for the headboard, baseboard, frame, and mattress. Jethro told the guy they'd be back later that day to get it. Gibbs noticed Lydia looking over a rocking chair that was behind a recliner. It was a very plush, new looking glider.

"You like it?"

"Yeah. It's nice."

"Get it."

"I'd only use it for the babies, and I'm not going to start replacing the furniture in your house." After she'd gone to the next booth, Gibbs nodded to the man, mouthing that he'd pay when he got back to pick up the bed. The vender nodded and stuck a "sold" sign on the glider.

The two separated for a bit, she heading to the crafts, and he going to the tools. While she was in the crafts, she came across a booth with a wide variety of items. One such item was a wooden case filled with hand tools. They were well used, all looked to be nearly antique in their build, but were marked only a dollar each. She bought the entire case of twenty tools, and talked the lady down to fifteen for the whole case.

Jethro beat it back to the furniture guy and bought the chair and bed. He was relieved when he saw the price on the chair. While it still had its price tag from the showroom on, it was marked at $25.00. When Jethro asked why, the guy mentioned that he'd bought it for his wife, but it wasn't the right shade. So he just wanted it out of his garage. Gibbs made a deal with the man to come back later and get the chair. Without Lydia. He wanted to surprise her.

The chair was made of a very blonde oak, and the cushions were made of a heavy dusty rose fabric. It felt sturdy all around. From the joints to the pillows. It was well made.

It might not match his furniture, well, nothing would really match his furniture. But it would fit well. And Lydia would be more comfortable in it. He'd noticed that when the weather changed, she was a little stiff when she rose from the hard backed rocker he currently had in his living room.

Jethro then headed over to the tools. He searched out some sand paper, a hand drill, and two saws. He was walking toward the house wares, when he spotted something else. She loved to cross stitch, and she loved hummingbirds. Before him sat a kit for a cross stitched pillow with a hummingbird. And the colors were perfect for the chair.

While he was buying the pillow kit, she was looking through ratchet sets. She wasn't sure what he had, so she decided against buying anything for him now, but perhaps she could find out what he needed later.

She found two new shirts with nice embroidery. Then she saw a sweat-shirt material jacket in Jethro's size with the Marine insignia on it. Of course she had to buy it. It was royal blue with the design in gold. And only $10.00.

They had shopped for nearly two hours when her phone rang, and she answered, juggling her purchases as she did so.

"You ready?"

"Yep." She had a pleased tone to her voice, and he found himself smiling.

"Need help?"

"No, I think I got it." She started down the aisle, but he met her anyway. His things were already loaded in the bed of the truck, which sat by the vendor they had bought Oded's bed from.

Lydia glanced to the chair and frowned slightly when she saw the sold sign. She'd been thinking of giving in and getting it. Jethro saw her look and smirked. She'd liked it more than she'd let on.

#####

Lydia gave Jethro his new "toys" once they were back to his house, and he was impressed. Within the hour, the new tools were hung on his wall, ready for use. While they looked like any other tools, he knew exactly which had been given to him by Shannon, by his father, and now by Lydia. He knew them all.

Once his friend left for the evening, he returned to the flea market and loaded up his last purchase. He'd left the pillow with the other man as well, and the two joked about the things they did to make their ladies smile. He told the man that they were just friends. The vendor laughed and told him to just keep telling himself that.

The next morning found Lydia standing in the doorway of his living room, her eyes wide, and her mouth slightly open. Jethro stood at the top of the stairs and just observed her for a moment. It was worth the extra trip and moving furniture for that look.

"You like it, I assume?"

"Like it?" She looked up to him, her eyes glowing. She went in and looked down at it, beginning to chuckle when she saw the pillow kit that was still encased in plastic.

His face lightened as she said for the first time of many, "Oh, Jethro".

######

He watched as she sat wrapping the thread around little paperboard cards. When he asked why, she said it was to make sewing easier. She'd not get knots in it later as she sewed.

She'd done several cross stitches in the time he knew her. She'd done pillows for the boys, a beautiful plaque when her niece, Brenna, had her little girl that included the baby's name, weight, birthday, length, and her parent's names. And he'd watched her do the same routine over and over.

And he'd seen her get the equivalent of paper cuts, only they were string cuts. She'd just wince and carry right on with wrapping. He wondered if there was an easier way of doing it, but he'd been told repeatedly that no, there was no easier way.

So when he went garage sale hopping and found a box of 200 bunches of thread for a dollar, he bought it, along with 200 of the little paperboard cards. Two weeks and sore fingers later, he handed her a present.

Her eyes opened wide as she looked down on what he held. It was a box of threads, already wrapped and ready for use. She smiled up at him, her eyes shining with pleasure.

"How did you know?"

"Know what? That they need to be wrapped?"

"No. That today is my birthday."

"Well, I didn't." He winked playfully. "Or maybe it's that Gibbs magic Abby's always talking about." Lydia's laughter rang out as she hugged him.

#####

The boys' joint birthday party was set for the next day. Ziva had brought her decorations and presents for Oded over to the McGee's. Abby had their living room decorated in cardboard trucks, streamers, and lots of colorful things that Tim was sure neither of the boys would care about. And that he'd be cleaning up for hours.

The parent's had planned separate parties, but then realized that having two birthday parties really didn't make sense. The babies wouldn't remember this first one, and they'd be together anyway. Might as well have one party. They could always get two small cakes.

Gibbs thought it was a great idea. The guys only had to help decorate for one party. Apparently streamers were a man's job. Funny thing, none of them found them that important. Now the animal shaped plates that Ziva found, those were important. As were the cars. But streamers were just paper that stuck to your hair if they began to sag. A threat from Ziva got them hung.

Tony was wrapping presents for his nephews, and having a great time doing it. He'd talked his dad into letting him have free reign with $400.00 in Toys-R-Us. Gibbs was still trying to figure out how he'd lost control of that conversation.

However, since Tony so rarely wanted anything, it made sense for him to spend his pay on whatever he wanted. So Gibbs gave in. He regretted his decision when he realized there was nothing left for him to buy the babies. And he was stumped as to what to make them.

He'd groused since Christmas, and with it being days before their party, he was getting out of hand. He'd even head-slapped Lydia, which nearly earned him another starching. It would have had he not apologized abjectly within seconds of his infraction.

She finally got fed up, and drug him downstairs to his workshop. Without speaking, she held up small blocks of left over wood, pictures of animals in one of his magazines, and then ripped one of the pictures in three parts. She glared at him, slapped the pieces on his bench, and stomped back up the stairs.

Tony looked up at her, worry making his brow furrow.

"What was that about, Mom?" Lydia grinned at him.

"Easy. He seems to communicate through grunts and glares. Maybe he can understand what I just said." Tony laughed and went back to wrapping his multiple gifts while Lydia finished the dinner dishes.

She left after making sure Tony was in bed for the evening, and Jethro came up to tell him goodnight. The older man very pointedly ignored his friend. She wondered how long he'd sulk.

She'd been home for two hours when her phone rang. She smirked and answered.

"Yes, Jethro?" She nearly laughed when she realized he was speaking quietly. When he spoke quietly, she understood that it was his apology. So she accepted it. Without telling him. He understood.

"I've got elephants, deer, dogs, cats, and fish cut out. How many pieces should I cut them into?"

"Well, they're only a year, so I'd say two or three pieces only. Any more would be more than they will understand." She nearly cheered. She'd discovered how to talk to "Bastard Dad".

"Do you think maybe I should leave them solid? Are they ready for puzzles yet?"

"Perhaps do some puzzles, some solid? Just make sure there's no rough or sharp edges." He grunted, and silence reigned for a moment.

"Good idea you had."

"Thanks. Thought you'd understand." She heard him huff a disgruntled scoff.

"Trying to tell me something?"

"Not really. Just wanted to see if you could understand your own words." They were silent again for a bit.

"Well, I gotta get back to work."

"Good night, Jethro." He grunted and hung up. Lydia looked at her phone. Men. They only thought they'd evolved. This one was making Cro-Magnon Man look civilized.

Jethro sanded and rounded corners and softened edges on the little cut out animals for hours. He contemplated his actions over the last few days and realized Lydia was right. As usual.

He'd developed a habit of head-slaps and grunts that replaced words when he got frustrated. It was a wonder that anyone understood half of what he said. And absolutely amazing that Lydia not only understood him when he wasn't sure if he understood himself, but that she'd learned to speak his language.

He grinned as he got ready to cut the elephant into two sections. The headstrong woman had come into his life, filling a need, quickly moving from romantic interest to closest friend. And he couldn't imagine how dull his life would be without her.


	51. Happy First Birthday, Boys!

Disclaimer: Don't own it. Never will. Unless some fairy grants my wishes on fishes...

Note: Still OOC. Will always be OOC. Oh, and it's AU. Don't like, don't read.

Second note: Thanks to my awesome beta, Headbanger Rockstar! ! eww. I'm wet.

Third note: No flames. Please. Give a review, but any gripes or changes should be given privately. That is what the PM feature is for. I've not had the problem in a while, but some of my favorite authors have gotten bad reviews, then after a conversation and little explaination, everthing is great. But the bad review remains. Please just be courteous. and I totally mispelled that, I think... whoops. mistakes happen.

#####

The indoor grilling of hot dogs and steaks was done, lunch was eaten, and the boys were in their highchairs for CAKE! The mothers had decided to get the boys cupcakes. Each had their own tiny version of the big cake with an unlit "1" candle stuck in it. Abby and Ziva carefully peeled off the paper before setting them down in front of the boys.

Tim held a camera steadily on LJ, Gibbs had one trained on Oded, and Tony had a video camera going to catch both. Both boys were "watching" their cakes, neither sure of what to do. LJ stared wide eyed at his, Oded was carefully feeling his. Carefully, anyway until some of the icing came off and he licked his finger clean. The adults laughed at the look of pure ecstasy on his face at the taste, and even more so when he face planted into the cupcake he held in his hands moments later, his mouth wide open.

LJ watched his cousin, not really sure of what to do, but once he saw Oded leap into action, he did the same, Only he picked his up, meeting his cake filled hands half-way down. While Oded managed to keep most of his from falling, LJ lost over half of his to the floor. But he kept the icing. Ooooh. The icing.

LJ was covered in the gooey confection from nose to tummy by the time he was done. Oded had crumbles of cupcake and icing smeared from forehead to chin. Both were shrieking in laughter, obviously communicating with one another in that little way they had developed.

"I wonder what they're saying?" Lydia was standing at the sink, getting two washcloths ready. She turned her head as Oded laughed loudly. He and LJ both had a few words to their repartee, but not many.

LJ was busy chanting "Duce! Mom!" over and over, while Oded babbled, trying to use about 90-words a second. He threw in some raspberries and giggles, but some words were clear. And they made everyone laugh. Especially Ziva, who had been trying to get him to say a few new words.

"Mama! Num!" and then came the one that had them all rolling. "Pop-pop! Pbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb!" His Mama had been trying to get him to say Grandpa for weeks, but it always came out "Pop-pop". Gibbs was laughing so hard tears nearly ran from his eyes.

He'd heard Oded call him Pop-pop a day or two ago, and thought it was cute, but never had he heard it combined with a gooey raspberry. The raspberry made it priceless. He knew that from that day on, he hoped the boys would call him Pop-pop. It was totally and completely Oded and LJ's style. He couldn't imagine either of them calling him "Grandpa". While he may not fit the bill for a "Pop-pop", his boys didn't fit the bill for saying "Grandpa".

#########

While the adults were wondering what the babies were saying, the two were busy talking. And enjoying their cake. And laughing at the weird gurgles of the adults.

"Hey, LJ?"

"Yo! I like that new word! Seth said it the other day." LJ kicked out his feet, licking frosting off of his face. "What's up?"

"This stuff is really, really good! What makes it so good?"

"I think because we're not allowed to have it so much."

"Do you think Mama knows how much sugar is in here?"

"No way! If my Mommy knew, she'd never let me have it!"

"I know! I'm so sick of baby food, and teething biscuits, and oatmeal, and milk, and juice…"

"I know, I know. I get the same crap." Both boys giggled.

"I do really like when Mama gives me some steak."

"Ooooh. I know. Mommy gave me a whole big bite the other day." He licked his lips and took another taste of the icing that was all over.

"But this is better. Like what we get from Pop-pop! But he makes us promise to keep it a secret."

"I totally agree, Oded. I totally agree." LJ giggled again and kicked his feet. He looked over to see Oded doing the same thing. His friends feet were kicking out in joy, and he had a huge smile on his face.

"You look so funny!" LJ laughed a moment later.

"What do I look like?"

"You've got this tasty stuff all over you!" Oded squealed in happiness.

"Do you have it all over you, too?"

"I sure do!" He sounded proud. "I painted myself."

"Oh. That's a good idea!" Oded then proceeded to do the same. He put his fingers into the mushy, yummy stuff covering his cheeks and nose and began to smear it around. He smeared some, and ate some more.

Neither could really understand why the big people were laughing so much, but so long as the tasty stuff kept coming, neither of them really cared, either.

There was some fussing a few minutes later when the washcloths were forced onto their little faces. It didn't last long, however, as they were quickly scooped up and taken to the living room. LJ talked a mile a minute as he explained what he saw to Oded.

The adults had no doubt that the boys communicated on some level they'd likely never understand. It was obvious once again that there was no surprising Oded when LJ was around, even though neither of them could speak. As soon as Ziva sat with Oded in her lap, he was reaching toward the pile of gifts before them.

While LJ sat and stared in wonder at the, to him, humongous mountain of gifts, Oded reached out and felt them. He didn't tear paper. He just patted and shrieked and ooh'd with wonder.

Tony was still in charge of the video recording, and he swung from boy to boy, his own laughter joining theirs. Jethro sat next to Lydia on the couch, his arm resting behind her on the cushion. Tim had a camera and was busy snapping stills of both boys, while their mothers held them.

"One, two, three, go!" The boys had no idea of what that meant beyond being handed a present, but they giggled wildly and ripped into the paper. They weren't skilled at tearing yet, so it took several minutes to get things opened, but the boys had a blast.

Once they were finished, there were see-n-says, Oded's having raised animals, LJ had a riding car with a handle on the back to encourage his walking. The seat was narrower than the one he'd had before. Oded got a baby walker. One like the ones they don't sell anymore.

His walker was obviously made by Pop-pop. When Ziva questioned why he would get this instead of a car, Jethro smiled and said, "He's gonna be mobile, Ziver. He can't hit himself on anything while he's learning to walk. Just make sure the baby gates are up and secure."

Piles and piles of textured, sound giving toys littered Oded's pile, while more visual toys, some with colors, some with shapes, littered LJ's.

The mom's sat their boys in the middle of several of their toys and let them play. Their much taller and older family sat talking and laughing as the boys played, chatting about their respective hauls.

When Oded was put into his walker nearly twenty minutes later, and LJ onto his new car, both boys screeched their delight, kicking their feet and realizing they could move. And they were off. Oded was receiving directions from LJ, yet he still ran into a few walls.

Gibbs held his breath at first, suddenly unsure if he'd done the right thing by making the walker for his grandson. But when Oded giggled and "walked" slowly back to the wall he'd bounced off of, feeling the solid object before him, Gibbs breathed a sigh of relief.

Oded "walked" with a comical series of bounces and leg-curled steps. The cloth seat kept him safe, as did the boundaries about him. Feeling a sense of safety in his wanderings, Oded carefully went about the room, feeling everything from this new vantage point.

LJ went along with him, moving a little quicker, but always explaining whatever it was in front of them. Of course, it sounded like burps, gurgles, raspberries, giggles, and lip smacks to the adults. But it didn't matter. It was adorable.

Ziva called to Oded, and he turned his ear to her voice. She called again, and he slowly made his way to her, a brilliant smile on his face. The boy chattered and walked, listening to his Mama as she kept a constant conversation going with him. Tony taped it all.

He reached his Mama and patted her leg. LJ had made his way to his Daddy, and was now snuggling with Tim. Ziva picked Oded out of his walker, and the boy laughed. His body was held tight, his arms clenched to his side, his legs drawn up, his head tucked as he laughed. Ziva wondered if she'd found a ticklish spot, and indeed, she had.

########

Less than 24 hours later, Eli David received an e-mail. It was from Ziva and simply read: First Birthday.

Inside were three pictures, one with Oded eating his cupcake, and the other with him being snuggled between his grandparents with his cousin LJ. All four in the picture were asleep, Oded in Jethro's arms, LJ in Lydia's. She rested against Gibbs, the boys sleeping on their shoulders so their heads were nearly touching.

The third was the most poignant. The last picture was of Ziva reading to Oded. The party had been long over, and Eli wasn't sure of who snapped the picture, but they were in the child's room. Toys were carefully put away for his safety, and while he wasn't able to see the pictures, dozens of books sat on a shelf. Ziva was in yoga pants, a loose t-shirt, and her hair was messed up from little hands sifting through it.

He was in a sleeper, looking completely relaxed. He was listening as closely as his tired ears would allow him, that much was certain. And Eli realized his mistake. He'd never intended on Ziva becoming a satisfied mother. But his daughter had proved him wrong once again.

The only words typed were: "We are doing wonderfully. Despite your plans." It wasn't even signed. The message was clear.

He'd lost his hold on his daughter. What did he feel? Anger? Sorrow? Defeat? Resignation? He settled on the last. Resignation was not defeat, but he could decide later if he wanted to try something. Probably not. Team Gibbs had beaten him in Somalia. And now that they were Family Gibbs, he wasn't sure he wanted to anger them. Gibbs was a talented sniper, after all.


	52. Cultural Considerations

Disclaimer: Don't own it.

Note: Special Thanks to Headbanger Rockstar for being my incredible beta! (and my friend) Love you! ! I have missed blowing raspberries at you. heeheehee

Second Note: Thanks to all of you who reviewed! I'm not settled and able to respond to all of them yet, and chapters may be a little more spaced than before, but thank you all so much! Please, if you like it, review! If you don't, tell me that to, but politely! lol

"Ziva, can I ask you a personal question?" Lydia stood at the ironing board, shirt in one hand, iron in the other. Ziva had dropped Oded off with Abby and Tim, as she had Tony had plans to go out to a movie.

"Yes, of course." She smiled at the woman who had become her mother. "However, as you always say, I reserve the right to not answer."

"I don't want you to answer it, actually."

"Ok. That seems rather strange. What is your question?"

"I know you have a horrible past with your family, especially with your father, and how he hurt you." Lydia held up her hand to stop Ziva's response. "I don't know the whole story. I'll be glad to hear it some time if you want to tell me. But I don't need to know it."

Ziva nodded for her to go on.

"I would like for you to think on something, and maybe talk later with Gibbs, or with me, if you're comfortable." She looked Ziva in the eye. "You come from an extremely rich and amazing culture, and from what I understand from Tony, you have always had a pride in your heritage, and you should." Ziva nodded. So far this was true, but she'd heard no question.

"What I don't understand, and what I want for you to think about, is why do you not honor your culture? Do you believe that you keeping from your culture and your heritage can keep Oded safe? Any safer than Gibbs can?" Ziva nodded.

"If he does not know, then he can not be recruited by my father when he is grown."

"Are you afraid that teaching him your values won't protect him?"

"No." Ziva stopped, not sure of what to say. She wasn't sure why she thought raising Oded completely American was the right choice.

"I would like for you to think of perhaps teaching him Hebrew. Teach him about the culture of your ancestors. What if he has questions later, and is upset with you that you didn't teach him?"

"What do you think I should do?" Lydia turned off the iron and set it upright. She came to Ziva and kissed her forehead.

"That, my dear, is something only you can answer." She patted Ziva's shoulder. "Once you have your reasons, and know them for sure, you'll not hesitate when someone asks you why you chose what you did. Maybe your choice needs to change, and maybe not."

Tony came tromping down the stairs, jacket in hand. He grinned to his sister, then his mom. The women smiled back, and he chuckled.

"You two are way too serious."

"No, we're just serious enough." Lydia winked and returned to her ironing. Tony scowled at her, crossing his arms and tapping his foot in mock irritation. Ziva head-slapped him.

"Hey! Only Dad and Mom can do that!"

"I can when I'm closer."

"Ok, kids." Gibbs trotted up the basement stairs. "Enough with the arguing. I'll put you in time out." He smirked a moment later when they both responded with a sigh.

Tony held out his hand, grin firmly in place. Gibbs just looked at it. Tony motioned with his fingers, and Gibbs shrugged.

"Oh, come on! You know we're going to the movies today, and then out to lunch!"

"Yeah, I know." Gibbs shot Ziva a look, and she covered her smile. "You need something, DiNozzo?"

"Woah, you've not called me DiNozzo in a long time." His eyes got wide. "You mad at me, Boss?"

"You not called me Boss in a long time, Tony. You mad at me?"

"No, no, just getting confused." Lydia finally gave it up and laughed. Gibbs glared at her, which just made her shake her head and keep on chuckling.

"So, that hand's still sticking out there. You need something, son?"

"That's better." Tony grinned. "And I need some cash, Dad."

"Think twenty will be enough?" Tony looked to his dad, eyes wide.

"No! The movie will be eight, and then there's popcorn and soda, and then, we're going to lunch after."

"You sure are high maintenance." Ziva lost her battle with her smile and laughed. Tony stood, his mouth wide open, eyes bugged out, the very picture of humor.

Gibbs chuckled and pulled out several more bills. Tony grinned and stuffed it all into his wallet. He'd been doing better lately, and he and Gibbs had agreed on an amount for him to carry the next day. Ziva had taken Tony out several times, sometimes with Oded, and sometimes just the two of them. Today would be her first shopping trip with him, and she was stuffing down her nerves. She'd seen Lydia talking him through decisions, and was hoping she could be as patient.

#######

"Any idea where they're going for lunch?"

"No." Lydia smirked at Jethro's retreating back. "You worry about him too much."

"No, I worry just enough." Jethro growled comically. "He spent too many years where no one worried at all." He shrugged. "I'm just making up for it."

"In spades." Lydia chuckled and Jethro crossed the kitchen and gave her one of the quick pecks that was becoming part of their habits.

"Don't mock me." Lydia's laughter followed him back down to the basement.

#######

"I really think I'm ready to go back, Ziva."

"Tony, not to be mean, but you can barely make a decision. I don't think you are ready to go back to work. Not yet."

"Dr. Shaw said that he thinks I may be ready, if I think I am."

"He thinks you may be ready if you think you are ready?" Ziva scoffed. "What sort of answer is that?"

"A good one."

"Tony, you still have trouble with stress!" Tony's eyes flashed angrily.

"I'm gonna try to go back, Ziva."

"Does Dad know?" Her voice dropped in pitch and volume. He hung his head.

"No. I've not told him yet."

"Tony, your future rides on whether or not you can do it. Talk to Dad before you try? Please? That is all I ask." Tony shrugged.

"I'll think about it." He changed the subject of the conversation quickly. "What were you and Lydia talking about? Seemed rather intense."

"She was asking me if I thought that raising Oded away from our cultural heritage would keep him safer from Eli than Gibbs and you and I could."

"Is that why you've not been speaking Hebrew with him, and why you've not done anything like you used to? To keep him safe from Eli?" Ziva nodded.

"Yes. I am so afraid of Eli getting to him, of being able to use him." Tony nodded.

"You know, you can teach him that terrorism is wrong, that there are peaceful ways of changing the world."

"I know." Ziva sighed. "I just wish to keep him from all of the ugliness that I saw as a child. From the horrors I was subjected to in my training."

"And I think you will, because you've already decided to keep him safe. That's something your father never decided." She looked at him in near surprise. She'd never thought of it that way.

"I will consider that." Lunch continued, and they went on to their movie.

#########

"I've got the laundry done, Jethro! Dinner's in the oven, timer is set, and will shut off in an hour." Lydia stood up at the top of the stairs to the basement.

"Yeah? What is it?"

"None of the casseroles you hate, don't worry." Jethro hummed and put down his sanding block.

"Good." He grinned at her. "I'm hoping that I'll have company for dinner."

"Who?" She was suddenly worried. She'd not gotten the bathrooms cleaned. What if he had a date?

"The babies." He shrugged. "Tim and Abby will be happy to have some quiet time tonight. They've had both of them all day and Tony and Ziva aren't going to be back before dinner."

"Oh? Something happen?"

"Not that I know of, they just got having fun and lost track of time. They're still having a great time."

"You gonna go pick the boys up, or are Tim and Abby bringing them here?"

"I'm gonna go get them."

"Need me to stay?" He shrugged.

"May not need you to, but I'd like you to." Her answering smile was brilliant.

#########

Twenty minutes later, Lydia buckled Oded into his highchair while Jethro got LJ snapped into his. The boys giggled and squealed as their grandparents talked to them as they got their dinners cut up and in their little plates.

Oded began his careful exploration of his plate, just as he always did. He kicked with glee when he found the green beans. His favorite! A grimace accompanied his feel of the shepherd's pie.

LJ was already stuffing his mouth, fork held off to the side, fingers busy picking up his meal.

Jethro and Lydia sat down to the table, watching and laughing at their boys while they ate and spoke of unimportant things.

##########

Abby pulled a frozen pizza from the oven and cut it, calling to her husband. He came in and grabbed up a slice. He kissed her quickly and told her to hurry up. She laughed and smacked his butt as he walked away. She put the rest of the pizza on a plate and walked into the living room where he already had sodas set out for them and a movie ready to go on PPV.

"Hmm." She sat next to him and cuddled into his side for a moment. "We'll have to thank Grandpa for taking the kids." Tim put his slice of pizza to her mouth and she took a bite.

"I totally agree." Moments later a movie started, and they spent the next two and a half hours engrossed in a fantasy realm of talking animals and magical spells. They had pizza, drank soda, and snuggled.

Blocks away, the boys finished dinner and played with Pop-pop and Gamma. They walked with help, rode little push cars, and played in the ball pit Pop-pop got them for their birthday.

Ziva and Tony people watched in the mall, laughing at some of the bizarre outfits, and even more at the bizarre people themselves. Goth's that couldn't cut it, cowboy wanna-be's, grunge leftovers, hippies, and the occasional dead-head.

Ziva called and checked in once again, this time with Gibbs, and was reassured yet again that Oded was fine, and she could take as long as she wanted. Gibbs hung up, but not before she heard the happy giggles of two little boys. She smiled at Tony.

"Whatever they're doing, they're having fun." And the siblings went back to people watching.

########

Gibbs called and told the McGees he was pulling Grandpa privileges and keeping the boys all night. Abby hung up from talking to her dad and fairly tackled her husband when he asked what Gibbs had to say. The younger man had laughed and carted his wife off to their room.

Ziva dropped Tony off and came in to say good night to Oded. Gibbs had already called and told her he was keeping both boys. Ziva was looking forward to a night of relaxation. Tony grinned. He got his nephews. All night long. All night long, assuming he could get them away from Grandpa… At least Lydia would be going to her home. If she were to stay, he'd never stand a chance.

Lydia was finishing getting them bathed and ready for bed. Jethro was getting their beds ready, the crib for LJ, and the playpen for Oded. Jethro didn't trust Oded to not wander in the night.

Gibbs handed Oded off to his Mama. The boy was completely naked except for the towel he'd been wrapped in straight from the tub. LJ was still splashing around while the water drained. Lydia had finished washing him, and he was playing only until the water was gone.

Tony snatched LJ from Lydia as soon as he was out of the last inch of water. The boys squealed and clapped as Tony "motored" to the nursery. Gibbs stood in the hall and chuckled at his odd family. Yep. It was another perfect Saturday night in the un-Gibbs family. And he wouldn't trade it for the world.

#######

Nearly a week later, Ziva rocked Oded, getting a final snuggle in before bed. Oded yawned, but was still wanting to play. She began to sing lullabies. One after the other flowed from her lips.

Oded was finally beginning to sleep, and she battled with herself over singing a song that would be new to his ears. A lullaby that was one of her favorites was running through her mind. Her conversation with Lydia played once more, almost as an undercurrent to the tune.

Patting his back, she drew in a deep breath and made a decision. A lullaby in Hebrew floated through the room. Oded rested his head on her shoulder, sighed, and slept.


	53. Adding to the Family

Disclaimer: Still don't own.

Note: Thanks to Headbanger Rockstar for being my beta! ! Love you!

Note: Thanks to everyone who is still reading! Lol I'm still moving, and am not being good about replying. My apologies for that!

####

"Hey Mom?"

"Yeah, Hon?"

"Can we take some of this cake to Jerry?" Tony stood with two plates, already foil covered. It wasn't anything special, just a snack Lydia had baked the day before to have something in the house when Tony went sugar-hunting.

Jerry loved cake, more particularly frosting. When they'd brought some of the boys' first birthday cake, Jerry had scraped off the frosting, setting it aside, and then eaten his cake dry. When he was finished, the child took his sweet time with the frosting. He smacked his lips, made sounds of pleasure, and licked his fork long after it was clean, declaring to his mom that he could still taste it.

Since then, with his doctor's permission, cupcakes mounded with icing (sugar free without Jerry realizing it), slices of cake with thin layers of sugary icing, and lightly iced cookies were weekly gifts to the excited child. He'd confided in Tony how he'd not had cake in ages. They couldn't afford it. Tony had told Jethro, who told Lydia, who checked with his mother and doctor. Thursday was now "cake day".

"We can, but he had cake just a couple of days ago. We'll have to make them small pieces." Tony grumped, but agreed.

They'd been back to visit with the boy many times since Christmas. It was now well into March, and the child hadn't had his surgery yet.

One of Sarah's co-workers had thought to be kind and visit, but she'd brought along her stepson who had strep throat. He had been on antibiotics, and the woman hadn't thought he'd still be contagious, but Jerry had added a strep infection at the tail end of his bout with bronchitis.

He'd started with a fever, then moved to the sore throat. He began to cough again, and the bronchitis was back with a vengeance. The surgery was once again put off.

Jerry and Tony had become great friends. Having dealt with a life-threatening illness himself, Tony was very determined that when they went in, everyone wore masks, had to keep their hands sanitized, and if Jerry so much as yawned, he was pushing everyone to leave.

Lydia and Sarah became comfortable enough with one another that when Jerry was weepy and clingy, as an ill child has the right to be, the young mother knew she could call Lydia and Tony to keep him company for a while when she went to work. It was a relief to have someone to call on. Since her own parents had stopped talking to her when she divorced, she'd been completely on her own.

Sarah was thrilled to have Lydia's company, and several times, Jethro dropped by to bring them little gift packages. He'd always have some little gadget for Jerry, which made Sarah feel like she was either the most blessed mom in the world to have found these friends, or perhaps the worst, because they felt the need to keep getting Jerry things that she couldn't provide.

The young mother expressed her concerns to Lydia one day, that she felt terrible because the Gibbs family was feeling the need to pick up her slack. Lydia just chuckled and informed her that this was perfectly normal for the Gibbs family. After all, none of them were related.

"What?" Sarah laughed, thinking Lydia was just being goofy. "I've heard every one of those kids call you Mom, Jethro Dad, and now you tell me none of you are related?"

"Well, LJ is related to Tim and Abby. But that's it." Sarah tilted her head, smiling.

"Ok, so tell me. How does a family, who is not a family, start up?"

"Well, Jethro is their boss, he was Tony's, until Tony had his, to use his words, "Attack of the Mini-Me."

"Tony isn't his son?"

"Not by birth. And I'm not any of their mothers. I'm the housekeeper."

"No way."

"Oh, yes way." Lydia shot her the same disbelieving look Sarah was shooting her. "I'm completely serious." She turned around and faced the boys. "Hey Tony!"

"Yes, Mom?"

"Am I your mother?"

"If you're asking if you're the lady I go to for panic attacks, bruises, and food, you're it. If you're asking if you gave birth to me, no way." Tony grinned and went back to playing Hungry-Hungry Hippos with Jerry.

"You're serious!"

"Of course I'm serious!" Lydia chuckled. "Little Jerry over there made quite an impression on Jethro." Her smile softened. "I came into the kitchen and sat down, only to be told all about a little boy who was more concerned that the child with the glittered angel on the angel tree wasn't going to get a gift than he was with not getting a gift himself."

"Is that why Jethro came back with so much stuff?"

"Partially." Lydia shrugged. "You'll have to ask him yourself the exact reasons. But your son really touched Jethro." Sarah just nodded, deciding that she would indeed ask the man the next time she saw him. He'd made it a habit to not really answer questions.

#######

Sarah needed to wait almost a week, due to the MCRT getting involved in a difficult case. Jerry was ready for his surgery, in that he'd not been running a fever for 72 hours. So now they were waiting for the surgeon to schedule the procedure.

When Jethro finally came to visit with Lydia and Tony, he was tired. But still happy to see the young boy.

"Hey, Jerry."

"Jethro!" Jerry grinned and waved across the room.

"How ya feelin', buddy?"

"I'm doing good." Jerry looked pleased. "The doctor is going to be in and he's gonna schedule my surgery." Gibbs' eyes widened. He looked to Sarah and smiled.

"Well, that's great!"

"Yeah!" Tony had already sat next to Jerry and was setting up to play Battleship.

Jethro looked at Sarah, and nodded to the door. She followed when he and Lydia stepped out of the room.

"What's up?" Sarah wasn't sure she was going to like this conversation. Jethro looked upset.

"I'd like to be here, and so would Lydia and Tony when Jerry has his surgery."

"Why?" Sarah was quick to back-track. "I mean, I think I'll be glad of the company, but why? You really don't know us well. We're not family." She was honestly confused, and it came through in her voice.

Gibbs sighed, running his hand down his face. Lydia rubbed his shoulder. He looked to her, and she squeezed his neck gently. He nodded, knowing what he needed to say, but knowing it would be hard, all the same. He drew in a deep breath and began.

"I was married a long time ago." He shrugged and looked toward Lydia, who took his hand. "We had a daughter. She'd be about 5 years younger than you."

"What happened?"

"They were murdered." Sarah gasped. "By a drug cartel." He cleared his throat and let go of Lydia's hand for a moment. When he reached for it again, he squeezed her fingers quickly and with a silent question, asked her to go back in the room. She nodded and walked back in.

"When they died, I crawled into a hole. Didn't come out for years." They stood quietly for a moment. "I didn't even let my kids in for years."

"Lydia said they're not really yours, but that you kind of adopted them." He smirked.

"They adopted me first." He cleared his throat. "They showed me the way back to life. Not just existing, but life. Them and their Mom, Jenny. Well, she wasn't really their mom, but she was their mom. I started to really come around when she died. She kind of said a few things to me and got me off my ass emotionally." He chuckled. "She was definitely their mom."

"Like you're their Dad." Gibbs nodded. Sarah smiled at the older man before her. "And you've taken my boy into your family."

"And you." Jethro smiled gently. "Tony looks at Jerry like a new nephew or little brother. And I have to admit that he's grown on me. Well, he did as soon as I met him."

"And you've adopted him as another son."

"Nope." Gibbs grinned. "Grandson." Sarah chuckled and accepted the half-hug that was offered.

"I'll let you know when his surgery is."

"Thanks."

###########

Four days later, the team was off rotation, and Sarah sat with Jethro, Lydia and Tony. The rest of the Gibbs Clan was waiting to hear from Gibbs by phone. Abby had called the nuns, and they were praying for him. His surgery would last for at least nine hours. And they were in hour two. Sarah had paced, started to read the book she brought along, and sat staring off into space.

Tony went for coffee and doughnuts. He got Sarah her favorite, a custard filled long john. The others got a variety of whatever they had left on the shelves.

They sat together waiting. Sarah leaned on their strength, individually, as well as a group. The doctor came out twice and gave them updates. Everything seemed to be going well, he was staying stable, and the operation was right on schedule.

Lydia got orders and went for lunch, leaving Sarah alone with the two guys. She was nervous without Lydia there. Jethro, simply by being an older man who had done so much for them, intimidated her. She'd not really realized it until Lydia left. And then she became afraid of making the wrong move.

Gibbs was used to watching people. He was used to figuring them out, and did it almost as a second nature. Tony wasn't surprised at all when his dad rose and knelt before the young mother.

"Hey." His voice was quiet, as if he were talking to Abby when she was terrified.

"Hey." Sarah swallowed hard. "What's up?"

"I was gonna ask you the same thing." She shrugged, and he moved to sit next to her.

"I know you're nervous, and it's ok." Sarah nodded. "If you need something, that's what we're here for. Even if it's someone to yell at or cry on." Sarah nodded again, and then decided that she'd say what she was thinking. He deserved it.

"I'm nervous."

"That's understandable. Anything I can do?"

"No, not unless you can take away all of the fear."

"I don't think I can." He smirked. "But maybe you can talk it out."

"You make me nervous." The words were out before she could stop them. His eyes widened.

"Why?" She shrugged. However, in for a penny, in for a pound.

"I don't know how to relate to someone who is so kind to us." She motioned aimlessly with her hands while Tony watched their interaction silently. "I mean, Tony is a, I don't know, little brother who just happens to be older than me." Gibbs nodded. He could understand that.

"Lydia is sort of like I'd always wanted my mom to be."

"But she never was, or still isn't?"

"She still isn't. I've not seen or heard from her since Jerry's dad left. She thinks it's my fault, since I can't keep a man." Gibbs sighed and nodded.

"And me? What is it about me?"

"You swooped in on Christmas Eve like some angel." She wiped tears from her eyes. "Not only did you convince Jerry that he's a good kid, but you gave him a Christmas present, and then you came back with lots more presents. And a grocery card." She wiped her eyes again and drew in a deep breath.

"I couldn't have given him even one toy this year, Jethro. I had told him that Santa couldn't come see us, and was just about ready to tell him that Santa wasn't real." She chuckled through her tears. "I don't have to do that now. He can keep that innocence, and that's all you." They were silent for a moment.

"How do I thank you for all of that?" Tony stood then and came over. He sat on her other side.

"You don't, Sarah." He, too, spoke barely above a whisper. "You just accept it, accept his help and his love. And accept that even if you may never carry the name Gibbs, you've got a dad, and Jerry's got a grandpa." She started to argue and Tony held up a hand. "Trust me, Sarah. He's got no other motives. He's a family man, through and through. And you and Jerry are his family now."

She looked back to Jethro and saw tears standing in his eyes. He nodded and held out an arm. When Lydia returned with lunch, she found the three of them cuddled together. Sarah was still weepy, but had talked out most of her fear and frustration over Jerry's surgery and how long it had taken them to get to this point.

She looked to Jethro who winked back. Lydia smiled softly and set lunch down. She let the three get themselves straightened out, and then handed out containers loaded with egg rolls, fried rice, and orange chicken. The family ate in silence, waiting for the next update.

Two hours, four coffees, five sodas, a bag of popcorn, lots of pacing and a box of tissue later, the surgeon himself came out.

Sarah stood, Tony's hand in one of hers, and Lydia's in the other, as he approached, his face serious. Gibbs stood as well, finding that he was completely incapable of remaining seated.

The doctor stopped only feet away and nodded to Sarah. Then he smiled.

"He's doing great, Ms. Johnson." She breathed a sobbed sigh of relief, letting go of her new family's hands to reach out and shake the surgeon's hand. He shook her hand. "He'll be in recovery in a little bit. A nurse will come and get you when he's settled."

The surgeon walked away, and Sarah turned to face the Gibbs family, a huge smile of relief on her face.

She found herself held tightly in three sets of arms moments later. They celebrated with tight hugs and lots of kisses to her cheeks. She finally drew away, still wiping away tears.

"Thank you guys so much." Gibbs nodded silently, he knew words weren't necessary. While the others talked their joy, he sent up a silent prayer of thanks. A prayer of thanks for the life of his newest grandson.


	54. What Were You Thinking?

Disclaimer: Still don't own!

Note: ! Love ya, Headbanger Rockstar!

######

Nearly two weeks had passed since Jerry's surgery, and he was doing well. Very well. Which made Tony anxious to get better himself. He began to push himself, eager to be ready to go back to work when Jerry was released from the hospital so Lydia could take care of Jerry, and Sarah wouldn't need to pay a babysitter. Lydia would be free to help.

Tony went against Gibbs' advice and went to NCIS and started looking through cold cases. He hadn't told anyone he was coming in. Lydia had run to the store and returned home to a quiet house. Considering he had told her he was going to bed, she didn't worry.

It was a series of decisions Tony would come to regret. By the end of the second file, he was terrified. He called his dad, not sure of how the man would react. But he needed to get home. Now.

#########

"You're where?" Gibbs voice nearly shook with anger. He rubbed his forehead. He had to get his boy out of here before Vance found out, or it would spell the end of Tony's career. He couldn't believe the young man had been this foolish.

He gathered Tony and started toward autopsy, where he hoped Ducky could help him calm his panicking son a bit before they headed home. He needed to call Lydia, too. Find out how Tony got to NCIS. If she dropped him off, she was fired.

Gibbs got Tony settled with Ducky, and stepped out to call Lydia. When he thundered at her over the phone, he was shocked when she burst into tears. He looked at the phone confused.

"You didn't bring him?"

"No! I needed to go to the store, and he said he wanted a nap. I wasn't gone long, really only about a half an hour." Gibbs rung his hand over his face. Talk about a Fox-trot Charlie.

Thankfully they made it out and home without being seen by the director. That would have been the final nail in Tony's coffin. Father and son sat in silence on the way home. It changed once they got home.

Lydia stood in the hall and welcomed Tony home with a hug and a "I'm so glad you're here." And then she started in. And Gibbs was glad he'd never really pissed her off himself. He'd thought of many things to say, but she said them so much better. And louder. And brought Tony to tears.

Gibbs considered calling her off, but she knew what Tony could take. And she pushed him. Hard. When he finally cried with regret, she stopped. This is what she'd looked for. He had snapped out of his panic.

She sent him up to bed for real this time, with firm warnings of what would happen if he ever did that again. When they went up to check on him later, he was sleeping restlessly, one of his favorite teddy bears held tightly to his chest. Lydia sighed. She feared that he'd just set himself back.

#######

Lydia's fears were right. Tony had several bad days following his trip to NCIS. He'd woken nearly every night that next week from horrific nightmares. Jethro had called and made an emergency appointment with his therapist.

Dr. Shaw realized he'd used the wrong method with Tony, but it was too late. The damage was done, and Tony was, while not back to square one, was back to square two. Gibbs was furious.

Tony's year long limit was quickly approaching. Gibbs had planned on working him slowly into being able to deal with cases. Not throw him in headlong.

At Tony's year date, he was no where near ready. He wasn't able to handle stress at all. He was panicked by time limits, even a limit of "get up by this time" would have him awake and worried all night. And if he had to complete a simple task in a span of time, forget it. He was incapable of doing it.

And forget having him being able to handle a crime scene. There was no way he could have. Not even on a good day.

######

Jerry was Tony's saving grace. The two communicated on a level that was below, and yet above any one's comprehension. Tony understood Jerry and could help the boy see how his father's neglect and abuse was not his fault, while Jerry helped Tony find his way through the fogs of panic and the nervousness of being a full-grown child at times.

Through his new friend, Tony met other children and learned to relate to them. He learned to talk, to share emotions, and to help them create safe environments for themselves. As Jerry healed from his heart surgery, they visited the common play area together at times.

And Tony found a purpose to his life. A purpose beyond finding criminals. He learned to help the victims. He learned to help the children left behind by confused parents after they were emotionally devastated. There were more children like him than he'd ever imagined. And it broke his heart.

######

SecNav and Vance had called a special meeting once again with Gibbs, Ducky, Dr. Shaw and Dr. Pitt. The four men had looked at one another, each worried about what the meeting would entail. They'd been here in this room only a year ago. Tony was doing far better, but he wasn't really capable of returning to work yet. And that was the problem.

Their meeting was brief. And not pleasant. The financial department was demanding an update. And Vance, as the director, needed to make a final decision. The decision was already made, but the Toothpick needed to inform everyone involved with Tony's care, as he was sure to need extra support.

Gibbs had no idea how much support he would need. Tony knew of the meeting, and he paced at home. Lydia tried to get him to relax, but he was too wound up. He took one of his infamous "don't freak out" pills, yet it barely touched his anxiety.

His future was being decided and debated, and at his psychiatrist's request, he was not present. Dr. Shaw feared an anxiety attack in the office were he to attend. At home, he was capable of distracting himself, and if he began to have an asthma attack from the stress, Lydia could care for him quickly.

Ziva was at the house, an extra hand just in case she was needed. Oded was in daycare, and the woman was peeling potatoes with her "mom". Lydia stood and walked to Tony.

"Why don't you come and sit? Help us."

"I can't." His voice shook. "I'm too nervous."

"I know. What can I do to help you?"

"Nothing." He bit back a sob. "What am I going to do if I can't be an agent anymore?"

########

When Gibbs came home, he took one look at his dad and knew. He was done. His time was up. His father had screwed up his adult life, too. The bastard had won.

Gibbs took the next two days off of work to be home, and he and Lydia watched Tony begin to slowly disintegrate. He became almost silent. He refused to eat. Only lightly veiled threats of an IV from Ducky kept him drinking enough fluids to not dehydrate totally.

On the third day, Vance called and told Gibbs that he understood the situation, but he needed his lead agent back on the job. Three petty officers had been found hung in a college dorm.

And bad things always came in threes. Third day, three petty officers. Gibbs gut was churning.

#########

Lydia was worried. Tony still hadn't come down. She'd checked on him only a half hour ago, and he had still been asleep. But it was nearly noon. This was unusual, even for him.

When she went up to his room, she grabbed her phone and dialed 911. On the floor by his bed lay three bottles of pills. She'd not even heard him get up. But he'd gone to the bathroom, gotten the three bottles, and taken them. How long ago, she wasn't sure.

She sat his unconscious body up and began to squeeze him, as if she were giving him the Heimlich. After several hard pushes, his stomach began to revolt, and she sent up a prayer of thanks. He vomited up pill after pill. Some partially digested, some still completely formed and not broken down at all.

The ambulance arrived, and she rode with him. Once there, she was put from the room as they worked to save him. With shaking hands, she called Jethro.

"Gibbs."

"Jethro," She stopped and wept, unable to speak.

"Where are you?"

"Bethesda." She choked out her answer. "He, he, oh, God, he…"

"I'm on my way." He left with just a quick look to Tim, who nodded his understanding. A call to Vance, a dirty look to the new guy, and Jethro was on his way.

#####

When he got to the emergency room, Lydia was sitting by the still form of their son. He was hooked to several machines, some Gibbs recognized, some he didn't. He wasn't sure who looked worse. Lydia or Tony. And then an alarm buzzed. His heart had arrested.


	55. Fear and Choices

Disclaimer: Don't own it. Probably never will. Not even on DVD.

Note: Headbanger Rockstar is the best beta ever! !

#############

Gibbs watched in horror as Tony was defibrillated for the third time. His breath caught as a slow, uneven beat started up. He hoped it would stay beating this time.

His arms were wrapped around Lydia, who was sobbing an apology. He couldn't figure out what for. This was all Tony's doing. She'd obviously checked on him. And saved his life to this point.

"Shhhh." He whispered against her hair. "It's ok, it's ok. Shhhh." He began to rock slowly back and forth unconsciously. The doctors began to slowly filter from the room once the young man was stabilized.

A nurse watched sadly as this handsome young man's obviously worried parents stood by his side. His mother wept an almost continual apology while his father stayed focused on comforting is wife. At least the nurse assumed that was their relationship.

When the mother calmed enough to sit, the father bent over and spoke quietly to his son. His words were odd, but perhaps they fit the men's relationship. A loving kiss took away any sting to his words, and he held his boy as well as he could.

It was an odd hug, but one filled with love and peace. Of hope and patience. The hug of a father who understood where his son was and would be there to help him claw his way back to life.

Gibbs straightened and stood before Lydia for a moment. His housekeeper/friend lowered her gaze. Tony had been hurt because she wanted to get the damned dishwasher filled.

Jethro brought her back to her feet, encasing her once again in his arms.

"It's not your fault, Lydia. It's not your fault." She clung to him and wept.

########

Gibbs called his children, letting them know what was going on. And Vance found out about the combined anger of the Gibbs Clan. He had yet to face their Dad, and he found he feared what would happen if Tony were to pass. He should have listened to Gibbs' request for another few days off. He'd flexed his muscles at the wrong time.

Tony was on a vent, but would be weaned off of it in the next 24 hours. He was breathing on his own, his heart was now steady, and they'd been able to get him hydrated enough to flush most of the drugs from his system. His stomach had been pumped immediately, and to Lydia's relief, they found that she'd gotten most of it out of his system at the house when she'd acted.

The doctor reassured Gibbs, without Lydia being around to argue the point, that she had saved his life. Had she not gotten him to vomit when she did, and many more of the drugs had entered his system, the damage could have been catastrophic. As it was, he would suffer few long-term effects.

Gibbs shared the information with his family, telling them to be careful on how they thanked Lydia. She was still feeling so guilty that overt thanks was met with resistance. So they thanked her with cleaning the house and making sure their dad got his dinner, so she didn't feel like she wasn't doing her job when she stayed by their brother's side.

For two days, they sat by his bed. Sometimes together, sometimes separately. The rest of their children, including Sarah, came to visit. She'd explained to Jerry as best she could about what happened. The boy didn't understand completely, but he knew he needed to talk to his friend.

######

When Jerry was finally allowed to visit the ICU ward and visit his buddy, he cried as he held onto Tony's hand. Jethro talked to him about what happened, and how Tony wasn't bad, he was just sad and confused.

"He made a bad choice, huh?"

"He sure did, Bud." The two sat in silence a little longer before Jerry began to talk again.

"You know, Tony. This is what you were talking to me about, isn't it?" He sighed the sigh of a broken-hearted child. "When a person gets so sad they can't think clear? Is that what happened?"

Jethro listened, knowing this child was working something out in his head in these silences. He'd been through enough in his young life that he was far more mature than a child should ever be.

"You have to come back, Tony." He was quiet again for a moment. "You promised that we'd always help each other. So you've gotta be here."

"We should get you back to your room, little man." Jerry nodded sadly and looked back up to Jethro.

"Grandpa?"

"Yeah?"

"Did he do this because he got scared again?"

"Yeah, that's part of it." Jethro nodded. "Another part of is that he's not able to do his job anymore, and he's afraid that he'll be all alone now." Jerry looked confused and shook his head.

"You're a dweeb, Tony. Grandpa loves you. No matter what. So does Grandma. So get back here so they can tell you."

######

Tony woke later that day, his eyes fluttering a bit as he slowly swam to the surface. Jethro was in the room, as he'd come to give Lydia a break. More like make her take a break. When his son's eyes started to open, he called her and let her know Tony was waking up.

Abby rescued the phone from her friend and asked Gibbs what was up. Lydia had just began to cry again, this time with her hand covering her mouth. Abby couldn't tell if she was happy or sad.

"He's awake." His daughter cheered in his ear. He smiled and told Tony he needed to wake up soon, so he'd not have his eardrums blown out again.

Tony slowly opened his eyes all the way, focusing on his dad. He blinked wordlessly for a bit. Gibbs held his hand, continuing to talk to him. About twenty minutes passed while Tony struggled to the surface.

The nurse that had been there the night Tony came in was working this shift, and she was glad. She was always so happy when the patients who had been touch and go came around.

"There's those green eyes of yours." Gibbs smiled at him. Tony looked at him, expecting the yelling to start. It didn't. He felt the backs of his dad's fingers brush his cheek. "Welcome back, son."

Tears leaked from Tony's eyes. He squeezed Gibbs hand tightly. He licked his lips.

"Hi, Dad." He swallowed hard. "I'm sorry." Gibbs shushed him.

"No apologies, right?" Then his eyes twinkled. "Just don't do it again. Your mother has been frantic."


	56. So, Was It Worth A Man

Disclaimer: Don't own.

Note: Thanks, Headbanger Rockstar! Love you! Ptbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb!

#############

Tony was ashamed. He'd not really meant to try to die. He'd just wanted the pain to stop. It sounded so stupid now. He felt so stupid. Talk about his father being proven right. He was just a freakin' idiot.

Gibbs sat next to him, wondering what was going through his adopted son's mind. Something was wrong, and not just his recent problem. There was something going on with him that he'd not even told his therapist about. What was the question.

When Lydia came in for her "shift" of Tony-sitting, he pulled her to the hall for a quick minute. She may know something. He hoped, at least.

"Do you have any idea of what's going on with him? He's more depressed now. He's not even talking."

"No, and why the hell hasn't Dr. Shaw been here?"

"No idea." Gibbs ran a hand down his face. "But I'm on my way over there. I want to find out what that guy was thinking when he told Tony he was ready to go back to work. And why he said in the meeting that Tony wouldn't ever be able to work in law enforcement again."

"With this suicide attempt, he won't be able to, Jethro, even after more therapy."

"I know that." Gibbs' eyes flashed. "I wanna know what sort of game this asshole is playing." He had seen the papers the shrink had filled out on Tony's behalf. Papers for permanent disability, which listed psychosis as the main reason.

"Go ask, but don't expect to get anywhere."

"What do you mean by that?"

"I've worked with doctors my whole life, Jethro. Once they decide on something, they'll do whatever they can to back it up." He looked at her expectantly. "If you need help, let me know. If he starts using a lot of terms, call me and put your phone on speaker."

"Thank you." Jethro turned on his heel and left. This was enough.

#########

Gibbs stormed into Dr. Shaw's office. The therapist hadn't returned phone calls, hadn't been by to check on Tony in the hospital, hadn't called to check on him, nothing. Which was completely unacceptable. He didn't need to be fawning over Tony, but he did need to at least find out what was going on. That's what he was paid for.

Shaw was waiting for the agent. He'd known the man would be coming. He'd known since the last message he'd received. Now it was time to decide.

Dr. Shaw had spent the entire night trying to figure out a way to save himself. There wasn't one. The sizeable sum he'd received to take Tony down wasn't worth it. He'd transferred the money to his wife's sole possession about four that morning. At least it wouldn't be seized. He hoped.

Dr. Shaw stood and extended a folder to the silver-haired agent. Turning states-evidence was the only thing he could think of. And it was a long-shot. Especially when he saw the fire in Gibbs eyes ignite.

The agent saw before him the detailed plans Shaw was carefully following. Plans to get Tony to kill himself and save Sr. the trouble. The conversations of Tony returning to work, even while he was still having panic attacks and night terrors. Of convincing Tony he was fine.

"Was it worth it?" Dr. Shaw shook his head. He knew that if he said the $4,000,000.00 was worth it, that he may be shot on the spot. "This is a man's life! A man that YOU swore to help! A man that has trusted you with his mental health! A man in need of stability! And you…" Gibbs broke off his speech and stormed from the room, the file still in his hand.

It was only fifteen minutes later when several other agents poured into his office. He was arrested, along with his secretary. She really had no idea what was going on, but she would be held. One of the papers had her signature on it. Too bad for Shaw, he had added forgery to his list of crimes.

#######

Anthony DiNozzo Sr. stood when the agents who had dropped him off in the WITSEC program burst through his door. He set down his phone, thinking he'd hung up. He missed the button, and the person on the other end heard everything. Which wasn't good for his business…or his life.

"Anthony DiNozzo, Sr., you are hereby under arrest for the attempted murder of Anthony DiNozzo, Jr."

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about a file we got from your son's therapist this morning."

"What file?"

"The one he kept with your conversations."

"Those are sealed! Doctor/client privilege."

"Unfortunately for you and your," the agent sneered, "Privileges, the good doctor decided to save his own skin and turn states evidence against you."

Prince Ibn Alwann shook his head and hung up. No wonder the irascible young man had not accompanied his father in the last several years. After a moment of contemplation, the prince nodded to himself, picked his phone back up and made a call of his own.

He checked on the latest deal he had with DiNozzo and discovered that he was not to receive his promised payout. Enough was enough. He placed a second call. He'd have to stay away from the states for a while. He had diplomatic immunity, but he wasn't so sure he had the coverage he would need. DiNozzo was an influential man in certain circles. And diplomatic immunity could only protect him from so much.

########

Director Vance spoke with legal, and with the psychiatrist in that afternoon. He called SecNav. And he waited for Gibbs to show up. What he had to suggest wasn't pretty. But it was the only option, given the current circumstances.

When Gibbs arrived an hour later, Vance was ready. He had everything in order from necessary papers to SecNav on standby. He would take no chances in angering his most senior agent further.

Gibbs slammed the door to Vance's office behind him. He wasn't angry with the director, because the man was honestly innocent in the whole thing. He was just angry. And Vance was a handy target.

"Gibbs."

"Vance." The two men stared at one another. It seemed forever, but in reality was mere moments.

"What can I do for you?"

"How can we save DiNozzo?" Vance sighed. Here it was. And he found that as much as he didn't like the womanizing agent, he liked this even less.

"We can't."

"Excuse me?"

"He's already been declared temporarily disabled. That is the best we can do for right now."

"That's not good enough."

"I know what you're thinking, Agent Gibbs."

"What am I thinking, Director Vance?"

"That this is a handy way for me to get rid of DiNozzo."

"Isn't it?"

"No. I've got SecNav on standby to talk with you if need be." Gibbs nodded, and thus began four hours of paperwork. Some of it would start legal battles, some of it would resolve legal "mix-ups", and all of it would serve to hang Senior in a very nice, tight, legal way.

######

Lydia called Jethro after he'd been gone nine hours. Something was wrong. Tony had passed nervous hours ago, and she wasn't able to distract him any longer. He kept putting his hand to his ear in the sign for "phone call". Gibbs glanced at his caller ID and motioned to SecNav to hold his thought.

"Gibbs."

"Hey. Tony's getting nervous. You ok?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Let me talk to him." She handed the phone over. He could hear Tony's breathing in the earpiece. He grimaced. Tony was being his silent version still.

"Hey, Buddy." Silence. "You having a good day?" He kept his voice gentle, as if he were speaking to a child. SecNav and Vance shared a look. The young man was that bad again, which is something that made them both angry.

"You eat today?" The men's eyes shot up. DiNozzo was known for his appetite. "Come on, buddy. Can you maybe whistle for me?" Gibbs felt relief course through him when a soft reply was heard.

"Yeah."

"Great! Your throat sounds dry, huh? Can you drink a little?" Gibbs smiled a bit, obviously encouraged by whatever answer he received.

"I'll be back soon, son. I've got to take care of some things, ok?"

"What?"

"Some paperwork for you, buddy. Just trust me, ok?" Tony nodded silently, and then handed the phone back to Lydia.

"Hey, Jethro."

"He doing ok today?" He smiled brightly. "I know! I can't believe he actually spoke!" "Yeah." "Ok, I'll be there as soon as I get this done. Tell him that if he eats some of his dinner, I'll stop off for ice cream." Gibbs smirked again. Tony apparently liked that idea.

Two hours later, the mountain of forms were filed. As Tony's medical and current legal proxy, Gibbs had done whatever was in Tony's best interest, even if he didn't like it. Some of it he downright hated. But he had to admit that if Tony were his natural son, he'd still make the same choices.

#########

When he arrived at the hospital, Jerry was just coming out of Tony's room. The boy had begged to come say goodnight to his friend. He was all smiles and waving when he saw his new Grandpa.

Gibbs returned the favor and hugged him lightly, mindful of the tenderness of the boys chest.

"Tony's a lot better today!"

"Yeah?"

"Yeah! He talked to me!" Gibbs spoke with the boy and his mother for a moment, and then went into the room. Sure enough, Tony was sitting up, TV remote in his hand. He smiled tentatively at his dad, not sure of what to do.

He'd been so afraid that Gibbs was mad at him, and that was why he'd left earlier that day. But when Lydia called, he didn't seem mad, and Jerry was talking about how much Gibbs was wanting Tony to be better. Maybe it would be ok after all.


	57. One Ending Creates A New Beginning

Disclaimer: Still don't own it. No matter how hard I beg Santa, I don't think I'll be getting it for Christmas, either.

Note: Thanks again, Headbanger! You saved my poor story! You had copies when my computer crashed! LOVE YOU! ptbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb!

Note: I'm going to have several chapters up, hopefully before the new year. Please, don't throw things at me if I'm slow in updating. I'll try, I really will.

Gibbs handed Tony the pint of ice cream he'd smuggled in. The younger man grinned broadly and dug in. It was chocolate, and ice cream didn't get any better than chocolate.

Gibbs nodded toward the door, and Lydia followed him into the hall.

"What is it?"

"I had to fill out some papers. And, we found out what happened." Gibbs told her about the events of the day, and she vacillated between extreme anger, tears, worry, and frustration. He wondered for a moment how that many emotions could possibly fit into one person. And if Lydia reacted like this, what was Abby going to do? So far, she'd not had to get involved in it.

His phone rang. Abby. Tim had been the one to find the leak in personnel. He answered quickly, telling her he'd call her back. He'd deal with her later. Right now, he needed to focus on telling Tony.

######

Tony sat in silence as Gibbs told him everything that had been discovered that day. He was numb. He had a second trust account that he'd never heard of before. His father tried to kill him. His father wanted him to die. That was the worst blow.

It was even worse than being told he was on a fast-track to full disability. That the shrinks at NCIS didn't see him recovering enough to work in law enforcement ever again. His stunt of coming to work to prove himself had hurt him more than it helped him.

He was confused by how calm Gibbs was. How could Gibbs stand to lose him like this? And then he got even more confused when he heard the deal with SecNav to avoid another lawsuit. He'd still have insurance? He'd still live with Gibbs? It was too much.

So he did what came natural to him now. He shut down. He let his mind go blank. He'd learned that from Dr. Shaw. Then he snapped back, his breath coming in short pants. He couldn't trust anything from Dr. Shaw! The man had been trying to drive him to suicide, so he could earn the $4,000,000.00 his father had paid him. Panic set in.

They worked together to get their son to calm down, but he was afraid to even take his medicine. He was paranoid in a way Gibbs had never seen him. Unfortunately, he had a reason for his paranoia.

#######

Twenty minutes away, DiNozzo Sr. sat with his back resting against a cell wall. He wondered how he could get out of his troubles this time. He had been transferred over to the FBI, and their cell wasn't as nice, if he could bring himself to use that comparison to the NCIS cell he'd been in before.

He hated these holding cells. The door opened, and a fresh-faced Middle-Eastern man was shoved roughly in. He smiled winningly and greeted the man. Certainly he'd be able to make friends with this man. After all, he had connections, and knew the biggest names in the Arab community.

He realized his mistake when he found himself shoved against the wall. Words hissed in his ear. It took a moment for his mind to comprehend them. A moment that proved to be his last. A sharp pain ripped through his neck as it twisted quickly. Then sensation ended entirely.

When he woke again, he wondered why he was in the middle of a hot desert with no shade. Maniacal laughter reached his ears, and he turned. A young Afghan he'd killed when he was in his twenties sat under a tent. He stood, a dagger in hand.

"What? You're dead! I'm imagining this!"

"You're seeing me." The long dead man sneered. "I can't kill you." An evil grin crawled onto his face, and bugs skittered along his teeth. "But I can make you wish you were dead here. Welcome to hell."

#########

Gibbs wasn't sure of how to proceed. He knew that Tony's faith in people was now shaken forever. Especially in mental health professionals. And he needed help to get through this.

He sat with his head in his hands long after Tony had finally relaxed and slipped into an exhausted slumber. He'd called everyone and filled them in while Lydia was still there.

She'd gone down to get Jerry settled for the night. The boy had spent so much time in hospitals, that he could go to sleep without company, but he really relished the attention of his new family. And they were glad to give it.

Twice a week, he got visits from the others. They'd bring their toddlers and the hardcore agents would read the boy stories, play games, take him for walks, and love on him. Sarah still felt a bit of an outcast, but she was quickly learning that they accepted her.

Their degrees impressed her, intimidated her, in fact. She barely finished high school. She'd come from a farming family, and school wasn't a big deal to them. What she'd needed to learn wasn't found in books. It was found in hard work. At least that's what her parents had taught her.

Then she had married, and life changed. She'd struggled for years, and suddenly she found a network of people who accepted her limitations, worked with her around her schedule, filled in when necessary, and she was amazed. Instead of her new friends creating complications, they were making life so much easier.

Tonight, Sarah had to work a double shift, so she'd not be in until the next day. She'd mentioned it to Lydia, who told her to not worry. Someone would come and get Jerry ready for bed. Story and all.

Down in pediatrics, Lydia told Jerry about Tony's day, and Jethro's, and told him the little she could about why Tony had tried to hurt himself. She didn't go into any real detail, but she let him know that his friend hadn't wanted to die. He'd just wanted to stop hurting for a bit.

Jerry understood and asked if he could say a prayer for Tony. She told him that he most certainly could, and together they prayed for peace and love for the man upstairs.

Jerry fell asleep with his favorite toy, the ever cool Optimus Prime, tucked under his arm. Lydia sat with him for a bit until she was certain he was asleep.

Kissing his forehead, she went back to Tony's room. Out in the hall, just out of sight, she watched her employers and friends. Her heart ached for them.

#######

The next morning, Gibbs was gone when Tony woke. He looked frantically around the room, settling only when he saw Lydia. She sat in the chair next to his bed, sound asleep. He stared at her for a minute, and then settled back against his pillow.

If they were mad at him, she wouldn't be here, either. His dad wouldn't have allowed it. When he was bad, he was locked into closets, not allowed to talk to anyone. He yawned before he was able to stop himself, and Lydia woke.

She looked over to him, and concern flooded her. He was staring at her, fear widening his eyes.

"Honey, what's wrong?"

"I woke you up." His voice was so quiet she nearly missed his answer. Her heart fell. They were back to the beginning.

######

Two days later, Gibbs and Lydia had a safety plan in place. There was a new safe with a two lock system that would house Tony's medications, Palmer would be attending therapy sessions with Tony with a new doctor, and either Gibbs or Lydia would be in the waiting room every time, as well.

His new therapist was someone that Ducky and Palmer both knew. They were confident in the woman's abilities to help their friend, and she had no problem agreeing to any reasonable demand to reassure Tony of his safety under her care.

Tony hadn't even responded when Ducky came and spoke to his young nephew about finding a new therapist. The older ME had carefully constructed the plan of visiting the new therapist while speaking to Tony, who was trying desperately to ignore him. Ducky had dismissed and accepted ideas based upon watching Tony's involuntary movements.

Once he reached a plan that satisfied the needs of keeping him from being used and abused by another therapist, of making certain that someone he was comfortable with was in each session to ensure his safety, and he was fairly sure that Tony would agree with it, were he responding, Ducky called and settled a sure time with Tony's new doctor.

#########

Gibbs fielded calls from DiNozzo Sr.'s lawyers. He refused to let them speak directly with Tony. He took detailed messages, and then gave Tony the messages and spoke with his son about what needed to be done.

Gibbs was surprised to find that even though Tony had often needed to buy his father a plane ticket out of town, he had been far from destitute. Tony was to inherit millions. The deceased con man's attorney's guessed there would be in excess of 25 million after properties were liquidated, fees were paid, taxes paid, and their services paid for.

Tony sat numb through it all. He listed to Gibbs talk about high interest CD's, the possibilities of his living wherever he chose, were it near Gibbs and his family or not. He listened to his former boss talk about investment opportunities, which ones seemed to be more solid, which appeared to have the possibility of making him more. And Tony wondered why he was asked.

#########

They would be attending Anthony DiNozzo Sr.'s funeral as a family. Several of Tony's relatives had called and offered excuses as to why they would or could not attend. He accepted the calls in silence. He found he didn't care. The man was dead, and even alive, he had not been worth the trauma he caused.

The whole situation left Tony wondering why he had spent so many years chasing after the jaded con-man's affection. He wondered if the few times his dad had said he cared about him were real, or if those were cons to get his son to chase after him more, giving more and more to his completely useless life.

Tony wondered if he could trust again. If he would ever allow himself to trust again. He was shocked to find, as he pondered his life, that he already trusted.

He trusted Gibbs to make wise decisions for him. He trusted Lydia to care for him physically and to show him love. He trusted Abby to be his friend no matter what. He trusted Tim to always be there for whatever silly little idea he had regarding movies and to protect him. He trusted Ziva to talk to him, to protect him, and to understand him. He trusted all of them to have his six.

The gaping holes in his heart and mind ceased tearing. He lifted his eyes to Lydia. His green orbs were clear for the first time in days.


	58. The Funeral

Disclaimer: Don't own it.

Note: Thanks Headbanger Rockstar! Love ya, girl! ptbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb!

Tony stood before the mirror at in the hospital bathroom. He was being discharged, and he was certain the only reason they were letting him go now was that he was to attend his father's funeral in less than two hours. All that needed to happen how was for the doctor to release him.

Lydia had stayed with him that morning and allowed Gibbs to go get Tony's suit. Tony had refused to choose one, which left his dad to sort through his closets. He'd chosen what seemed to be a fitting one for Tony to wear.

Black was for mourning. Tony wasn't really mourning. He would at some point, but to force him into black seemed an atrocity. So Jethro had chosen a dark gray suit, nearly black, but not quite. Respectful, but not depressing. The shirt he chose for his son was a deep lavender. And it looked good with the suit.

A black tie, and the outfit was complete.

Tony had looked at the suit when it was laid out for him. He'd looked up to his dad, a slight smirk on his face. Relief was evident in his posture.

"I don't think I could have worn black."

"I know." Gibbs had then stepped out with Lydia, letting their son dress in privacy. He had dressed quickly, glad that he'd not wear black. He'd mourned his mother, and had worn black to her funeral.

The same with Kate, Chris Pacci, Paula, and Jen, who had taken firm root in his heart, even with her harmful decisions. She had been a mom to him, just as Gibbs was a dad, and Lydia was becoming another mom. He would wear black for them if they died.

His father didn't deserve the honor.

They arrived at the funeral home, and he was shown to the room which held his father.

He stood at the side of the casket, looking down on a man who had said recently that he loved him. How false his "love" had proven to be. Tony found that he felt nothing as he looked down at him.

At Jenny's funeral, he'd been heartbroken. He'd cried, as a man should cry for his mother. At Kate's he'd cried for a friend and partner. He'd been sad for Paula and Pacci. Perhaps not crying as much as he had for Jen and Kate, but he'd been sad for their loss.

He'd wept for his mother. He couldn't really remember her. But he remembered crying at her funeral. He remembered how sick he felt when he she died. He remembered thinking that his father should have stopped her death.

However, as he looked down on is father now, he felt nothing. Not even the sadness he felt at a crime scene for some unknown victim. To him, their unknown lives had value.

People began arriving, and Tony put a mask on. Rather than his mask of laughter and teasing, he wore a mask of sorrow.

He greeted senators, bankers, investors, a handful of Arab princes, two ex-presidents, and more businessmen than he could count. Or cared about counting would be a more appropriate way of putting it. He stood at the head of the casket like a good son, but only those that knew him well saw the empty coldness in his eyes. Strangers saw the sadness of a grief-stricken son.

The funeral director nodded to Tony after what seemed an eternity, and he took his seat between Gibbs and Lydia. He'd asked his adoptive parents if he could sit between them, and they had told him that they would do whatever they could for him. He'd kissed Lydia's cheek, clasped Jethro's hand, and then moved to stand by his father's coffin.

From time to time, he'd looked to one of his chosen relatives. From Lydia, he got tender smiles. From Gibbs, firm nods of approval for his acting job. He was maintaining character. Tim gave him empathy, Abby sent him sympathy, and Ziva understanding. He had relied on it all as he bore the indignity of pretending to mourn his father.

Now he was seated at last, Gibbs on his right, Lydia on his left. He had unashamedly taken both of their hands. As the minister spoke about a kind, generous man, Tony felt his heart turn to stone, and he let his mind wander. This farce wasn't worth his attention.

When he caught the occasional word and began to get upset, he squeezed their hands in his. When the funeral director asked if anyone would like to say a few words, Gibbs shook Tony's hand, and when his boy looked to him, he shook his head. Tony shook his head in return.

Others began to come forward, telling of Anthony DiNozzo Sr.'s generosity, of his attention to their children, of his gifts to children's charities. Tony's hands grew tighter and tighter around Gibbs' and Lydia's hands. Tears stood in his eyes, and he refused to let them fall.

These were tears of betrayal and anger, not sorrow. And he would not have people confuse them. Weeping for him was not an honor his father deserved at all. Only Gibbs' presence kept him from standing and screaming for this joke of a funeral to end. This wasn't a memorial, this was fiction.

The farce was finally finished, and the Gibbs Clan was at home. Tony sat on the couch while Tim, Palmer, Ducky, and Gibbs carried in flower arrangement after flower arrangement. Fornell had suggested they look for a lead among the cards, so they would do just that.

Lydia handed Tony a sandwich, and he sat staring at his plate until Abby came and sat next to him. She talked him through eating his sandwich, taking his meds, and into letting himself be taken upstairs for a rest. Ziva came to his aid then.

She helped him upstairs and got him situated in his bed. She spoke quietly to him, not betraying her unease. She had no idea of what to say to her brother, really. So she rambled, something she had learned to do since adopting Oded. Her previous silent days were over, and a chatterbox had taken root.

Ziva carefully avoided the subject of his father. After all, what was she to say? "I'm glad he's gone?"

"I'm sorry for your loss, but not sorry that it happened?" "I'm sorry he was your father, but he deserved it?" "I wish someone would do that to my father?" None of those were appropriate, even if they were humorous in a macabre way.

She sat by him, running her fingers through his hair as she spoke. He began to relax, and eventually found sleep away from the stress and confusion of the day. Once she was certain he was asleep, she headed back down stairs.

She found her family writing lists of who the cards were from as they pulled them from the arrangements. Lydia was on the phone, looking for a nursing home or hospice where they would take a donation of flowers for their patients.

Tony had made it clear that he didn't want the flowers, the pots, the smell, anything. He wanted them gone.

She finally found one place that would take them, and Palmer and Tim began to carry the de-carded arrangements out to Jethro's pickup. With the system they had going, the job was finished in a little under an hour, and Gibbs was out of the driveway with his load well before Tony woke up.

It was nearing dusk before Tony stumbled down the stairs. Dinner was waiting for him, and his family with it. Lydia had worked on keeping the babies entertained and out of the way while figuring out what to get. Jethro solved the problem by bringing home Tony's favorite. Pizza.

The family ate in comfortable silence for a few moments, until Gibbs asked his son how he was feeling. The young man thought about it for a moment before answering.

"I feel glad that he's gone, angry, sad, and horrified that he would try to kill me, grateful to whoever ordered the hit, and ashamed, because I shouldn't be glad that someone is dead."

Silence followed his answer, and reigned for several more minutes while people tried to figure out a proper response. None felt he should feel guilt, but how best to say it?

"Well, my boy," Ducky began. "I believe it would be best for you to remember not the father you hoped for, but the monster he was." Tony looked at him quizzically. "You always searched for ways to earn his affection, sometimes spending vast quantities of money to achieve your goal. One that you unfortunately never reached."

"Gee, thanks, Duck."

"No, Tony, what I am saying is to not remember the figment of a loving father you chased after. Focus on the man he truly was. A man who was not worthy of your love, and in the end, tried to kill you. And do not feel guilt. You may have come from his genetic matter, however, that is where his part in your life ends.

"He was a stranger to you. He was a cruel task-master which you would never, despite your most amazing feats, would never be pleased, simply because he did not wish to be pleased." Tony sat back and stared at Ducky for a moment. He'd never thought of it that way before.

"I never could have pleased him?"

"No, I don't believe you could have." Tony crossed his arms and sat, thoughts evident on his face. He passed through several emotions. Hate, anger, remorse, confusion, doubt, his family could see them all. He looked up at Gibbs and asked a question that had his family wondering what was to come next in his life.

"Why do you accept me?" Gibbs smiled back. It may take a few minutes, but he had a list. A long one.

"Well?" Lydia looked at her employer, eyebrows raised. Her boy needed to know. Now.

"Well, Tony, you want to do this now?" It seemed his son had forgotten there was anyone else in the room. He nodded, his green eyes never leaving his Dad's blue ones.

"First off, you do your best to make every day fun. You love to laugh, and your laughter gets the rest of us away from being so serious." Tony nodded.

"Second, you're compassionate. Third, you take care of your own." Gibbs nodded to the others around the table.

"Not one of us here doesn't owe you something." Tony looked around at them. "Most of us owe you our lives, Tony. You do more than you realize." The younger man blushed.

"You're showing every day how strong you are, Tony."

"Not anymore, I'm not."

"What do you mean?"

"I can't be an agent anymore." He shrugged helplessly. "What do I do now?" Abby rose from her chair and knelt by her distraught brother.

"You're an amazing person, Tony." Her voice was soft and husky with emotion. "And you just inherited millions."

"Blood money, most likely."

"Money, just the same. How ironic would it be if the money he got by being evil went in to helping children? What about it going to help mentally challenged adults? What if the money he'd intended for anything horrible he could imagine changed the world for the better?"

"I don't know."

"I do, Tony. I can see you taking your intelligence, and your bravery, and your compassion, and your empathy, and your money, and changing the world. And it won't matter what you can and can't do. It won't matter if you're an agent, it won't matter that your father screwed you over again.

"Because you will have won the war, Anthony DiNozzo, Jr." She kissed his cheek. "And now I'll go back to letting Dad talk. He's got more to say." Her smile brightened. "I just know it."

Gibbs cleared his throat and began again. Tony heard a list of his qualities, and realized that maybe he didn't even know himself. Pride flashed in his dad's eyes as he spoke. He felt his own shoulders square. Abby was right. He could use this to change the world. His family believed in him. Especially his Dad.


	59. Tony Makes A Difference

Disclaimer: Don't own it.

Note: Thanks to Headbanger Rockstar who is my amazing beta! Love you! ptbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb!

Three weeks had passed since Sr.'s funeral. Three weeks. Nine therapy appointments. Three Saturdays with the entire Un-Gibbs Clan gathering to enjoy their own company. Three weeks of Tony learning again to function despite his fears.

Three weeks of visiting Jerry in the hospital, and then at home. Three weeks of decisions. Three weeks of learning to listen to his Dad about financial matters. Gibbs listened to the lawyers. He didn't. He couldn't be bothered. His Dad would sift through the shit.

He was making progress with his therapist, and found that while he resented Palmer there to begin with, he was more relieved to have his presence than he'd first thought. He understood what his therapist was trying to do, but it was hard to trust her. And she didn't seem to get it. Or maybe she did, and he was fighting her more than he realized.

He didn't know. He wasn't sure of what he knew. But he had an idea of who and what he was. He was a victim of serial abuse. He was a multi-millionaire. It was an odd and terrible mix.

On one hand, he was terrified of people. On the other, strangers somehow seemed to know he'd inherited a fortune, and crawled out of holes everywhere, claiming to be old family friends. They weren't helping their own case by bringing up his father's name.

He was running things over in his mind. Money didn't make him Tony DiNozzo, eldest son of the Un-Gibbs Clan. Love did. Money hadn't made him one of the top NCIS agents. Respect and hard work did. Money didn't provide him with his Mom. Her love did that, money just helped a bit. It helped to pay her, so she could do what she wanted to do. And she wanted to take care of him and his siblings.

So what could he do with all of this stuff? Cash was worthless. Maybe Abby was right. Maybe his future lay in what he could do with it. He didn't want it.

The only thing he'd asked his Dad to do was set up funds for the boys for college. All three of the boys had $500,000 set aside for their education. He had no idea what school would cost them, but if they had enough to live on and pay for their tuition and books, he was happy.

He paid off the McGee's mortgage, told Ziva to go house hunting, and paid Jerry's hospital bills. Once all of that was done, he grumbled as he realized there was still $24 million left. Gibbs took $10 million and set it aside without Tony's knowledge. He could see his son's wheels turning, and knew his boy would give it all away and be reduced to poverty. And he'd do it before he thought about it.

Tony was wondering what to do with the rest of his money when he started to have things click into place. Money didn't really matter. Not to him. But it could matter to others. It could help others.

"Dad?" Jethro was downstairs sanding on his new boat.

"Yeah?" He motioned for his son to come down. "What's up?"

"I want to help people."

"Yeah? What do you want to do?"

"Can I get some sort of foundation going so nobody else..." He choked on his words, his eyes focused on his shoes.

"So nobody else has to have your childhood?" Tony nodded.

"Yeah." Jethro came over and stood at his workbench, shoulder to shoulder with his boy.

"What sort of foundation do you want to start?"

"Something to help kids, moms." He shrugged. "I don't know exactly."

"Well, I think I know who you can talk to." Gibbs smiled at his boy.

"Mom and Abby, for sure, and maybe Ziva, too."

"You got it. And Breena recently started to volunteer with Head Start. She'll have ideas too, I"m sure."

"Isn't she still on maternity leave?"

"Just got started from her leave. She works ten hours a week at her old office, and volunteers ten hours a week there."

"Nice. Four women, four voices." Gibbs nodded and handed Tony a sanding block. Tony took it and started to sand. His mind cleared with the repetitive motion. No wonder Gibbs found this so addicting.

"Mom?"

"Yes?" Lydia was up to her elbows in a chicken she was deboning for soup.

"Dad said to talk to you and the other girls, but I want to start a foundation to help kids and single or abused moms. Um, can you help me figure out what's needed?"

"Sure. You want to have everyone over?" He nodded, picking at his cuticles for something to do. "Ok, I'll call the girls, and we'll see if we can't get a time for all of us to get together."

"Thanks, Mom."

Four days later, they found themselves gathered around the table with Tony at the head. All four women had notebooks, and Tony had jumpy nerves. He listened to ideas, asked some questions, decided that Breena was completely brilliant. At least to when it came to networking.

Five hours later, they had several basic ideas down and everyone had assignments to help get it going. First came all of the paperwork. Getting a 501-C3. Getting a proposal submitted to the new lawyer Gibbs had retained. The man would probably handle the majority of the paperwork, but they wanted to be able to double check everything, thus keeping Tony safe.

Tony's new attorney was indeed able to do the paperwork, and he didn't mind being double checked at all. He welcomed it, in fact. It was another layer of protection for him in a business where his colleagues were being caught in scheme's far too often.

He set up the organization completely from a paperwork standpoint. All permits were in order, all tax forms complete, and they could get ready for business.

Breena would be leaving her job to work for Tony. He found that idea a little strange, but he knew it was the best. She was the best, absolutely perfect for what he wanted to accomplish. And it only helped that she was his cousin.

Their daughter would be joining LJ and Oded in the NCIS daycare four days a week, the fifth, he would be home with his Mom. Tony was going to be in the background. He'd help some on his good days, but he'd not go near it when he wasn't feeling like he could.

They decided on names, and the health part of the foundation would be called "Best Life", while the foster and adoptive parts would be called "New Hope". They'd contacted existing organizations, and were all set for business.

Tony's accountant took charge of getting fund-raising going so the generous young man's funds wouldn't be depleted immediately. He had legitimate funding coming in from many different angles on a monthly basis.

They had presented their plans to the state, had it accepted, and were accepting applications for both employees and recipients. In all three sections, they had nearly 200 employees, and the foster program was filled immediately with the overflow from other foundations.

They had already been interviewing potential parents. Some were weeded out immediately, and others were looked at case by case. Some were looking for only infants, and were recommended to other agencies. Tony had made the decision early on that he wanted to help older children find loving homes. He wanted to end the vast pool of children who turned eight and seemed to be ruined for prospective parents. He wanted to end the days of children turning 18 and suddenly having no home, few prospects, and not knowing their next move. It had taken him years to find his home. No one deserved that.

Sarah and Jerry were excited for the opening of "Best Life". She had been hired to be a secretary, and was thrilled. Their lives were getting better and better. It seemed that Tony and Jerry connected on levels no one else could understand. They seemed to feed off of one another for healing.

No one complained. Tony was learning to trust. Jerry was learning that he really wasn't responsible for his father leaving. Tony was learning to see his value as a man. Jerry was learning that even while he was a child, he could help others.

Tony thought his millions were gone. He felt a certain peace in knowing that he'd helped others with his money. He never asked to look at the books. He never questioned Gibbs about his finances. He just trusted his dad.

The few times Gibbs did try to discuss finances with his son, Tony would become agitated. He'd panicked severely once, he'd refused to speak another time. The discussion would need to wait. Gibbs refused to get ruffled. Tony would be ready one day.

He had no way of knowing, but within two years, the success of his organization would be proven, and would expand into the entire state. He would wonder from time to time how it kept running at such top levels. They would double in size, find permanent homes for over 500 children, and would help several single parents' better their lives through the unexpected addition of job-training.

Another thing Tony didn't know was that during that time, his brain-child had blossomed and was functioning entirely on it's own. His accountant made "donations" from time to time, but nothing over a million, which hardly touched the young man's bank accounts.

Tony would keep largely to himself. If he went shopping, he would frequent places like Sears and Penny's. He'd lose his love for expensive suits. It was one of the habits he'd gotten used to to make him feel better about himself. And he would learn that the expensive suits now caused him stress.


	60. Ziva and Oded Meet Avery

Disclaimer: Don't own it.

Note: Thanks to my fabulous beta, Headbanger Rockstar! ptbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb!

Ziva discussed dinner with her little boy, and Oded decided he wanted salad. Or at least that's how she translated his jibberish. She was pretty sure he didn't care what they had for dinner. He'd eat anything.

They got to a little place they liked to frequent. It was owned by a little old man who had a passion for steam engines. Oded could hear the trains running along the track built just above the heads of the diners. He pointed in the correct directions when he heard whistles blow, and the man had taken down some of his trains so Oded could feel them. The tot was becoming entranced by the locomotives.

Tonight it was nearly empty inside, which was preferable. Oded could hear the engines better, and he listened, enthralled, to the noises. The only other diner was a redheaded, closely trimmed bearded young man who watched the young family with interest.

He finally approached and introduced himself. He was Avery MacDuff, a pediatrics resident over at Bethesda. She introduced herself and Oded, and they sat and talked all through dinner.

They agreed to meet a week later for dinner, and the date was set. Ziva figured she'd found a good friend, as he didn't ask for a date without Oded, but she'd take that. Avery was fun to talk to, and Oded seemed to like him. He certainly liked her son.

When they met the next Thursday evening, Avery had a small bouquet of flowers for her and a train toy with buttons for sound for Oded. He asked them to go to a movie with him after dinner, and Ziva had her first experience with Descriptive Video Service, or DVS. They got tickets and found seats near the exit and settled in to watch the show.

Oded was still a little young, as he was only 18 months old, but he'd been interested in all of the noises. The best feature was that everything was explained to the boy. While distracting at first, Ziva soon found she could ignore the undercurrent of explanation and "enjoy" the film. But Oded seemed to listen to it all. He soaked all of the noises in, clapping when appropriate, giggling, and finally falling asleep, leaving his mother to finish watching "Gnomio and Juliet". She hated to admit it, but the movie was adorable.

They began to meet every week for dinner, and Oded was always invited. He told her of being raised in a single parent home, and how his mom would struggle to find a baby-sitter, and how he sometimes felt like he was in the way. Ziva asked him if he'd dated other women with children before, and he said that no, he hadn't.

"So why date me?"

"Because you interested me. You and Oded. You are so, I don't know, tuned to one another."

"Is that the only reason?" She chuckled. He was like her dad and Tony with answers. One sentence could have ninety meanings.

"No, but it was a good place to start." He smiled. "Why did you say yes to having dinner with me again?" Ziva cocked her head to the side.

"You were nice. I thought we'd just have dinner as friends, you'd realize you had better things to do than to spend time with us, and you'd be gone."

"I wasn't sure I'd be interested in having a second date, to be honest." He shrugged. "But I wanted to find out. I'm glad I did."

"Me, too." Oded began to chatter again, engaging both of the adults in a game of "I'll hand it to you, and you tell me what it is."

Months passed, Ziva had introduced Avery to her family, and he fit right in. It turned out that he and Palmer had taken several classes together. He and Tony talked sports and played a fun game of basketball not long after meeting. Gibbs accepted him... after performing a full background check.

The guy was squeaky clean, volunteered at two different low-income clinics, and was going to graduate without debt due to working through high school and saving the money and working full time his whole way through. He'd gotten two scholarships which had helped him, and Gibbs had to admit he was impressed.

He'd seen the man interact with Oded, and the affection between the two was obvious. Gibbs found himself hoping he was here for the long haul. Ziva deserved a good man, and while he wanted to say no one would ever be good enough for her, he knew she couldn't find anyone better than Avery.

One thing he saw made him think twice, and he had called the younger man immediately, asking him to join him for coffee the next morning. Avery had accepted, and Gibbs had focused on the younger man as if he was in an interrogation.

Avery had become accustomed to the stares of detectives over the years. So he settled in and waited. Gibbs read him correctly in assuming he was ready to answer questions. Which meant he'd answered them before.

_Avery sat at the desk with Detective Jonas. He'd been brought from where he lived with his mom at midnight. The police didn't say why, but they had come, and he knew from school that the police kept him safe. Maybe they were there to help him. At six, he was confused about most things._

_The police found everything. They found her drugs, even though he had done what she said and hid them under his bed. She moved them from time to time, just in case, and his room was the only place she'd not hidden them before._

_They found her "work" stuff. He'd never looked in her bag before, so he didn't know what was in it, but he was sure it was something bad. He didn't like it when he brought the strange men back to their apartment. The guys usually hit her, and he didn't understand what they did to her._

_He knew he had to pretend to sleep facing the wall. He looked once, and he felt kinda sick. A mean man was hitting his mom and doing something to her. She was yelling, but she didn't push him away. After that, he screwed his eyes tight and put his hands over his ears._

_He asked his mom once why she was so noisy when she brought men back, and she told him that if she was noisy, they paid her more. He didn't understand, but he knew his mom worked hard._

_The only times she didn't work were when she brought a new daddy home. They all insisted he call them daddy, even when he didn't really know them, and he didn't talk to them. None of them ever liked him. They told him to go play and not bother them._

_His mom wouldn't work then. His new daddy would work. Sometimes. They were hungrier when he had a daddy. And he got hit more. So did his mom. He couldn't understand why she wanted one._

_First there was Chuck, then there was Steve, then there was George, then there was Joe, and Spike, and Harry, and Tom, and the last had left just two weeks after his sixth birthday. He had been the worst. He had yelled all the time. His name was Butch. And he had fists that hurt. Even when he couldn't talk from all of his beer._

Years later, Avery still found that answering questions about his past hurt. He was taken from his mother permanently when he was seven. Why they sent him back for that last year, he wasn't sure.

They told him his mother had been enrolled in therapy and would be doing rehab. To a child, rehab looked just like it did before. She turned more tricks, hit him more, and fed him less.

Once he found himself with Detective Jonas again, his mother was dead, he had a broken rib, a sprained wrist, and a concussion. His mother hadn't survived the crash. She'd snorted up all of those lines of sugar again, and she'd had a lot to drink with her friends. Avery had begged her not to drive, but she hit him and called him a bastard once again, forcing him into the car.

She'd run a red light in front of a cop, and knowing that she'd be sent to jail, she ran. Five blocks later, she plowed into the back of a parked semi. Having stayed on the floor where she threw him had saved his life.

Gibbs sat and listened to the young man's tale. Things started to add up. The different last names he found, the early record with no further explanation. The charges simply disappeared. The charges of drug possession seemed a little far-fetched for a six and then a seven year old, but he wondered.

Avery finally looked up and met Gibbs' eyes. This is where most of his relationships ended. A talk with Dad. No matter what he'd done to change his life, his mother's choices kept rising up and biting him.

Once it was a jealous friend who he'd trusted. He went and told Avery's girlfriends father. The next time he'd gone to see his girlfriend, he'd had the door slammed in his face. Another time, it was someone who recognized him as being "Nancy's boy" and felt the need to reminisce. And the man hadn't talked about nice things in front of his then-fiance's family.

The ring he'd given her only a week ago was sent back UPS along with a note to not contact her again. He'd only talked to Jethro Gibbs once before, and the fast meeting sort of surprised the young man, but he kind of expected it. Gibbs had been a federal agent, and Ziva was one currently. He couldn't hide forever.

In place of the rejection he expected to find, he was met with compassion and understanding. The icy blue eyes that locked with his had a faint sheen of tears in them. Gibbs nodded to the young man.

"Ziva likes you a lot, Avery, and Oded could always use another good man in his life." Gibbs shrugged. "Whether that man becomes Daddy or a friend." Avery's eyes widened. Gibbs' narrowed. "But you hurt either of them, and you answer to me, understood?"

"Yes, sir." For once, Gibbs didn't correct someone on the use of "sir". The boy needed to know he was serious. He liked Avery a lot. But Ziva and Oded were his family.


	61. Holiday Adventures

Disclaimer: Still don't own it.

Note: Thanks to Headbanger Rockstar for her help! Couldn't have done it without ya! Love you!

Note: just something completely random...and now I can't think of anything random. (laughing at myself. Laugh with me, folks. It's fun.)

Lydia wasn't sure if she should laugh, scream, or simply rip out her hair. Tony was having grand-opening parties at both Best Life and New Hope. They had been open and running for months, but it was time to make his organizations public.

His siblings and cousins were all helping him prepare, so Lydia had all three boys and the Palmer's daughter, Sophie. Jerry was helping... for the most part.

The boy had come to spend a lot of time with his Grandma and Uncle Tony while he was still recovering after his surgery, and he knew the house rules inside and out. And when he was alone, he was really good. Throw him with his little cousins, and he was a typical mischievous little boy.

Jethro was due home any time now, and she was thrilled. Help was on the way. He breezed through the door with ice cream, pizza, and a movie. She knew there was a reason she loved... liked him.

The boys ran to their Grandpa, LJ and Oded hand in hand as usual. Jerry beat them both, taking the bag with the tub of ice cream. He grinned at his Grandpa and raced away. Sophie hid her face in Lydia's neck. It was time to play shy.

It was only two weeks until Christmas. Thanksgiving was past, the boy's birthday's were coming up again, Tony was having his first Christmas parties, Gibbs was finishing toys to take to the hospital, and Lydia was holding their household together.

"Go wash." And with two words, everyone but Sophie completely abandoned Operation Drive Grandma Nuts. He came in and kissed her cheek. "How's your day been?"

"Pretty good. Sophie's cutting teeth, and the boys are up to their usual stuff." Gibbs nodded.

"How many ornaments did we lose this morning?" Lydia nodded toward the tree, and Gibbs turned. He laughed outright.

When he'd left that morning, the tree was decorated completely, and it looked good. Ornaments were evenly placed, garland was strung carefully, and the lights were working. Now, the ornaments were all in one small area, the garland seemed to have been sucked off the tree like spaghetti, and he didn't even want to think about how long it would take him to check each light and get them working again.

"Did this little princess have anything to do with it?"

"No, Uncle Jethro, she was a little angel." Sophie giggled and hid her face in Lydia's neck again.

"POP-POP!" LJ was shouting from the bathroom, and whatever was going on had Oded laughing maniacally. Lydia rolled her eyes, and Gibbs narrowed his eyes at her.

"I'm so glad you're home, Pop-pop."

"Yeah, obviously, Grandma." She snickered and set out plates with one hand while she held Sophie with the other.

She heard Jethro fussing at the three boys and chuckled. It seemed as though Jethro got home just in time. Good he could deal with the monsters he'd created.

Four of her "men" came to the table, and Jethro started to serve out the pizza. Lydia cut up a piece for Sophie, letting the little girl gum away at the crust while picking up the cheese separately and eating it.

Oded felt carefully around his piece like he always did, and with his weird little way, started to eat it crust first. LJ took little bites and picked off his pepperoni, making a mess all around him, before picking up his little pile of toppings and trying to shove it in his mouth all at once. Jerry ate normally, doing his best to mimic his Grandpa.

Lunch was as noisy as she expected it to be, and Jethro was amused yet frustrated. Three highchairs, and they still couldn't keep the mess off of the floor or keep the boys from trying to feed one another, which got increasingly messier as he got older and better at his ear-hand coordination.

The boys had graduated to having the trays removed from their chairs and sitting at the table. Today, Gibbs was glad they all had seat belts. The boys were so excited about the tree, and all of the goodies Grandma was baking, they couldn't sit still. Jerry wasn't much help, as he was having too much fun laughing at them, Sophie was starting to play and flirt with her Uncle Jethro, and Lydia was ready for nap time.

Jethro wanted to ask Lydia a few things, but with everyone being so noisy, he decided to give up asking. For now, at least. But soon lunch was over. And Pop-pop was going to declare Martial Law if that's what it would take to get all of the kids to sleep.

The kids were finally down for naps, and Lydia had a hard time not falling asleep herself as she sat with Sophie in her rocker for a few extra minutes. She didn't realize she'd fallen asleep, even when Jethro came in and carefully lifted the petite little girl from her lap. She didn't feel the comfy quilt he spread over her, or the kiss he placed to her head.

Nearly an hour later, she woke with a start. Sophie wasn't in her arms. It took a moment for her to get her bearings, but once she did, she was thankful for a boss so thoughtful as to let her sleep, even for covering her up.

She tiptoed downstairs and found Jethro finishing washing the dishes from the baking she had been doing. She stood and watched him for a moment, all the while knowing he knew she was there.

"Hey." He finally spoke. "Busy day?" She chuckled.

"You have no idea."

"Oh, I can guess." He turned from the sink, chuckling as he dried his hands. "This place is usually spotless, and right now, it's a war zone."

"Yeah. About that." She smirked. "The next time you teach Jerry what a mentos mint in cola will do, make sure he knows not to do it in the house." Jethro laughed. "It's funny for you, mister. You didn't have to clean it." She poked him in the chest.

"Hey, now! No pokin' the man of the house." It was Lydia's turn to laugh.

"So, are you going to the party tonight?"

"For a bit." He shrugged. "How about you?"

"I'm probably going to have all of the babies."

"The kids aren't getting sitters?"

"I don't think so." Lydia shrugged. "I really don't think any of them thought about it."

"I'll have to talk to them about that."

"No, go have fun." She smiled at him. "Just bring me a doggy bag."

"Not good enough, Lydia. We'll get ya there."

Gibbs went downstairs and called his kids. Ziva first. He asked her if she'd thought about childcare for the night, and she replied with a hesitant no, followed quickly with "Oh, Crap."

Abby grabbed the phone from her sister, and between the three of them, they orchestrated a plan. Of course, it involved shopping. Gibbs was cringing as soon as the girls agreed that it was a good idea. Now he just had to sell the idea to Lydia. Or talk her into not going crazy. One or the other.

He told Lydia about what he wanted to do, and she was all for it. In fact, she had all sorts of ideas. So with great fear and trepidation, they loaded the recently napped children into the van and headed to Wal-Mart.

Gibbs stood back and watched with fascination as in less than half an hour, Oded and LJ had suits, on sale for $15.00 apiece, Sophie had a red velvet dress with ruffles for $8.00 off of the sales rack, and Jerry had a suit as well. Jethro didn't know they sold boy's suits off the rack like that. The whole outfit. Complete with a snap-on tie.

Four hours later, Gibbs was dressed in a suit, Lydia had a nice sweater and slacks, Jerry was in a new dress shirt and slacks with a real tie from Grandpa's closet, Oded and LJ had new outfits, and Sophie was adorable in a frilly dress.

He got the kids all loaded in his new van, shaking his head the whole time. He laughed every time he got ready to drive the tan minivan he'd bought to haul grandchildren around. Many more car seats and kids, and he was going to need a 15 passenger van just to go to the grocery store.

Lydia finally came out of the house, locking it behind her. He'd started to lock it a year ago when the babies and Tony were staying over regularly when they had cases and Tony was... not himself.

She carried Sophie and all of the various diaper bags. She had three of them along with her purse. Gibbs trotted back up the stairs to help her.

"Thought you were gonna reduce it to one bag."

"I ran out of time." He just huffed. He should have helped more. Another thing he was learning. How to care for a group of children. No wonder girls learned to multitask.

#####

Once at the Foundation headquarters, Jethro and Lydia helped the kids get inside and find their parents. There were lots of pictures taken, lots of cooing over babies and clothes, and lots of thanks to parents.

Tony had been chatting with some of the social workers who were partnering with his foundations. One of them was desperately trying to get him interested, and he was clueless. His days of womanizing were officially over.

He looked up when he heard Abby squeal, and turned in time to see his Dad and Mom walk in with a passel of kids. He excused himself from the crowd of ladies, and went to greet his family.

"Hey, Dad, Mom." He leaned in and kissed Lydia's cheek. "Glad you could make it." He took Jerry's hand and started to lead him toward the table with the cake. Lydia made a comment about 2 boys and frosting.

Jethro laughed and carried the kids one by one through the evening, always helping one or the other with something. Lydia talked with the foundations employees, taking kids as they were handed off or came on their own.


	62. Loving is Serving

Disclaimer: Don't own NCIS. Just wish I did.

Note: Thanks again to my fabulous beta, Headbanger Rockstar for helping me with everything!

Note: Still moving. Job changed once again, and am trying to figure everything out. Please be patient with me.

Another Note! This story is just little one-shots of Jethro and Lydia falling in love without realizing it. Hope you enjoy!

Months had passed, and Lydia made the off hand comment one day that she was grateful for the seven year widow rule. Gibbs asked her what that was, and she explained to him, quite tongue in cheek, about how she and a friend had come up with the seven year widow rule. They got to blame everything bad that happened on their late spouse for seven years. And her "warranty" was still in effect.

"And it's a good thing, too." She chuckled. "It's nice that I can still yell at him when the garbage disposal breaks." He looked at her oddly. "You know. It's been nearly 5 years. But it's still his fault. It's not been seven years yet."

"You are so strange." He shook his head and left for work.

That evening, after Gibbs had gotten home and they'd had dinner as a family, he and Tony knocked on her door. She welcomed them in, asking them if they were ok. She knew Gibbs had had a hard day, and that meant he should be down working on his boat, and Tony had gotten a new movie when they'd gone shopping earlier that day.

Tony grinned, nearly bouncing. He was having a bad day, in that he wasn't able to handle the stresses of shopping, and had a bit of a panic attack. Since his panic, he'd been in a much younger mindset. He had begun to "make friends" with this part of him, referring to this part of him as "Mini Me" after his favorite part of the Austin Powers movies. And joking about Mini Me pulling a hostile take-over at times. This was one of those times.

"We got you something!"

"You did?" She looked over to Jethro, who still hadn't spoken. There was a box under his arm, but she couldn't see what it was.

"Yeah. We got you a new garbage disposal!" He laughed, wagging his finger comically in her face. "And no putting fish down it this time." Gibbs rolled his eyes.

"Go put your movie in, Tony." His dad chuckled as Tony took off to the sitting room. Lydia thanked Jethro and pulled out a bag of microwave popcorn. She stuck it in the nuke and turned around.

"You need anything?"

"Nah. If I do, I'll come get ya." He hugged her quickly, snitching a quick smooch. "Go on. Before he starts calling for you." Just then, Tony called out.

"MOM! You coming?" Lydia laughed and grabbed the popcorn.

"Thanks, Jethro."

"Nice to be needed, Lydia. Nice to be needed."

######

It was exactly one year since he'd given her the gift of thread and discovered her birthday. McGee was at a Geek Fest for Vance. Again. Abby was speaking at a forensics conference, and Ziva was supposed to be keeping LJ. But the younger woman had been running a fever, and Oded caught it almost a week ago.

And mother and son had been passing it back and forth ever since. So Lydia told Ziva and Abby that she got to have Grandma Duty. And so it was, that when the McGee's were dropped at the airport by himself, that Lydia was at his house trying to corral a slightly hyperactive LJ into bed.

Tony was reeling from the decision by the higher ups at NCIS to force him into early retirement. He had been making progress, but it was a year since his breakdown, and he wasn't able to be back to work. Not enough to please the bean counters, anyway. He was forced into retirement, but what really sent him over the edge was being labeled "mentally incompetent" for the time being.

He'd worked himself into a panic of epic proportions, and was currently asleep with the help of a mild sedative. He slept through LJ running naked down the hall, which any other time, he would have laughed hysterically at. He slept through the boy calling for his beloved Uncle to "shave" him.

Lydia finally wrangled LJ into bed and had the boy asleep when Jethro returned home around midnight. He hated it when people had red-eye flights. Even if they were cheaper. He piqued her interest when he told her to stay out of the garage fridge. But she'd stay out of it. There was enough stress without an angry Gibbs. Or a disappointed Gibbs, which was worse.

It was her birthday, and he'd been thinking for days about what he could do for her. He'd smiled when he finally decided. She loved some dish called Osso Buco. She'd mentioned it a few times, how she'd had it in a restaurant, and wanted to learn how to make it.

Gibbs had gone to the office on his way home from the airport and pulled a page from McGee's book. He pulled up the recipe online and printed it out. Then he went shopping. He got veal shank, and that crazy twine the recipe called for. He got fresh herbs, and wine. Then he went for the veggies.

He looked at the paper the recipe was printed on, and it showed the meat surrounded by colorful stuff. Looked like little disks of summer squash. So he got a baby zucchini and a summer squash. Those should work. Then potatoes. Potatoes were a necessity with meat. Or at least they were in Gibbs world.

He got some potatoes, deciding he'd boil them and put parsley on them. She'd made them that way a few times, and they were good. He hoped they were her favorite.

He'd crawled into bed, exhausted from the day, knowing she was tired as well. She was up when he got home, and after giving her orders to stay out of the fridge, he ordered her to bed. Grousing a bit at his gruff tone, she grumbled, but went to the nursery. He checked on her about twenty minutes later when he looked in on LJ, and she was already asleep.

She worked entirely too hard. He decided that for the rest of today, it wasn't going to be the case. Today was her birthday, he was off of work, and she needed a break.

When LJ woke at sunrise, Grandpa grabbed him before he woke Grandma with his singing. He tiptoed out of the room, shushing his giggling grandson. He glanced back at Lydia, smiling gently as he saw her move slightly. She seemed to still be asleep, at least.

He got breakfast ready before Tony woke up. Gibbs sent Tony upstairs with a cup of coffee and orders to just put the steaming brew on her bedside stand. Tony came back down almost immediately, grinning.

"Mom's drooling."

"Good. Means she's still sleeping, and soundly at that." Gibbs and Tony grinned at one another. She was gonna be grossed out when she woke up.

Lydia woke to the smell of coffee. She smiled at the cup, glad she didn't have to get her brain in gear without it. She looked over to the crib, and realized with a start it was empty. Then she heard LJ and Jethro laughing in the kitchen. She relaxed back into her bed for another twenty minutes.

######

Lunch was a fun affair. Jethro ordered pizza, and they ate in front of the TV. Tony took LJ upstairs for his nap, and when Lydia took laundry upstairs to put away, much to Jethro's consternation, she chuckled at the sight of Tony asleep with his nephew nestled in his arms.

"You know, this is supposed to be a day for you to rest."

"Yeah, but if I don't do the laundry today, I just have that much more to do tomorrow." Jethro scoffed.

"You think I can't do it?"

"I've seen you do laundry, Jethro. You can do it, but you're colors get mixed, you get cranky, and I don't really want to deal with it."

"Party pooper."

"You know it." She winked at him and laughed as he began to sing.

"Every party needs a pooper, that's why we invited you. Party pooper. Party pooper." He playfully grumbled when her foot came up and kicked his butt.

"Don't want a butt-kick, don't mock me." They growled at one another playfully. It didn't last long. They began to laugh not long after they began their staring contest.

##########

It was dinner time, and something smelled wonderful. Lydia had no idea what was for dinner, but whatever it was, it smelled amazing. Jethro had banned her from the kitchen.

She sat and watched a movie with Tony and LJ, called Ziva to check on her, and called both Tim and Abby so LJ could babble at his parents over the phone. She was yawning, and when Jethro came in to tell her dinner was ready, he smirked at the sight of Tony playing with LJ quietly while Lydia slept.

Mission accomplished, she was relaxed. Tony looked up and Gibbs nodded. Tony gave his dad one of his famous smiles and raced up the stairs to get Lydia's presents.

Jethro woke Lydia a few minutes later. The smile she gave to him upon waking was well worth his two burned fingers. He was crouching before her, LJ trying to crawl onto his thigh.

"Happy Birthday." His voice was quiet.

"Thanks." Jethro leaned forward and kissed her forehead.

"You're welcome. Dinner's ready."

"So what are we having?"

"It's a surprise."

"Smells great." Jethro just smiled as Tony tromped down the stairs, piles of gifts piled up. "What on earth?" She grinned at the young man.

"Got stuff from all of us."

"You didn't have to do that!"

"We know." Tony winked. He knew that the gifts here were just little things. They had keep the good stuff back for when everyone was home. Dad had sworn him to secrecy.

They sat down to the table and Jethro served. Lydia's eyes opened wide when she realized what he'd made. He'd remembered her favorite dish! And made it! Tears filled her eyes as she waited for him to sit and join she and Tony.

"You ok?"

"Yeah." She sniffled. "I'm just, I don't know." Both men smiled at her. Tony patted her shoulder while Jethro squeezed her hand.

"I know." He cleared his throat. "But you deserve it."

########

It was the first weekend they were able to do anything after Tony's dismissal from NCIS. He'd been rather unstable, and had required 24 hour care for weeks. His dismissal had been the catalyst for weeks of nightmares, flashbacks, and suicidal tendencies.

They had their grandchildren for the day, while their four children went to a movie and lunch. Jethro and Lydia did their favorite activity. They went flea marketing.

Strollers, a cooler, two vehicles, as in the charger for Lydia and the children, and the truck for Jethro and any fun stuff they found. LJ was ready for a big boy bed like Oded. Jethro wanted a new handsaw. Lydia just wanted to look. Oded needed nothing, but anything they found was going to be fun.

They went from booth to booth, looking at everything, keeping a constant chat going so Oded wouldn't feel left out. Jethro watched Lydia for what she liked. She rarely bought anything for herself. When she did, it was something small. He was certain it was a habit she'd gotten into with her late husband.

For most of the day, nothing had interested her. As in she'd not ooh'd and aah'd over anything beyond her normal reaction. If she liked something, but not well enough to buy it, she'd look at it a bit, but then she'd leave it. If she liked it well enough to buy it, she'd look at it, put it down, go back, hem and haw, convince herself she didn't really need it, and then move on a second time.

It was as if she was afraid to buy anything nice for herself. There were times when beautiful things would be fairly inexpensive, and yet she'd do the same thing. He'd asked her once, and only got her sidestepping "I'm not going to answer you, but you should guess that it deals with Hank" non-answer.

She could buy anything for anyone else. She could get Gibbs simple stuff. She could get him big stuff. The same applied for Tony and his needs. She could shop for LJ and Oded with no problem. She could pick up anything for anyone. She just couldn't shop for herself.

They were nearly done with their trip, when he noticed her paying attention to a jacket. It seemed to be a plain denim jacket at first, and he couldn't figure out her fascination with it. And then she turned it around. There was an elaborate butterfly beaded into it. The butterfly was surrounded by green tinted suede leather, which was surrounded by black velvet, which was sewn onto the denim.

Even he had to admit that it was stunning. She liked it so much that she went over to it three more times. He'd never seen her go over to anything more than the second time. A total of five trips back to the jacket. He asked the vendor quietly how much it was, and the lady laughed.

She'd been wondering when he'd come asking how much it was. It was obvious this man's wife wanted it. When he corrected her on their non-marital status, that she was just housekeeper, he had to grin sheepishly when LJ piped up and informed his Pop-pop that Gamma was looking at the jacket again.

He sheepishly paid for the jacket, said he'd be back for it later, that it was a present, and he didn't want her to know about it yet.

"I'm ready, Jethro. The boys are bored. Where to next?"

"I think it's snack time. What do you little guys say?" Happy boys, tired of sitting and having to hold Gamma or Pop-pop's hands if they walked, cheered. Snack time meant play time.

When they were having their snacks, Jethro disappeared for a few minutes. He returned and picked up the jacket. The husband of the vendor laughed directly at him.

"So when you gonna marry that woman?"

"We're not even dating."

"So you say, sir. So you say." Gibbs chuckled. This man was as old as his father, and was just as determined to play matchmaker. "But, when was the last time you shared grandchildren with a friend?"

"Well, actually, they're both mine, but she's been with my family since they were babies, taking care of my son Tony."

"What does he call her?"

"Mom." Jethro grinned. This conversation was ridiculous. Fun, but ridiculous. He was getting his Jack fix. And didn't have to take a trip to Sweetwater.

"What do your other children call her?"

"Mom."

"And what do those little fellas call her?"

"Gamma, and I'm Pop-pop."

"Son, I'd say it's time you stop thinking so much and listen to your family. They obviously have it figured out. Stop wasting time."

"You know this from experience?"

"My wife has said for the last 54 years that if it makes you laugh, smile, or giggle, that you should buy it or marry it." Gibbs smirked and headed back to his family.

When Lydia opened the closet later that evening to get her jacket, her brow knitted. She was sure she'd hung it up. She asked Jethro if he'd seen it, and he pretended to look for a moment.

"Oh, here it is." She started walking to the kitchen where he was at the moment, and stopped.

He held the jacket she had been drooling over hours earlier. Her eyes widened, and then filled with tears. He shrugged and tilted his head to the side. His silent way of telling her it was ok.

He slipped it about her shoulders, holding it so she could get into it. She turned and hugged him tightly.

"Thank you, Jethro." She sniffled. "I'll pay you back next payday."

"No you won't." She looked up at him. "You need to learn how to accept a gift."

"It's too much."

"Nah. If it wasn't something I wanted to do, I wouldn't have done it."

She was quiet for a moment, and he thought he'd made his point. No such luck.

"You said the same thing about my car, Jethro. And my garbage disposal. And…" He pressed a quick kiss to her lips.

"Shut up, Lydia. I'll see you tomorrow morning. Go and show off that damned jacket."


	63. Christmas with Gibbs

Disclaimer: Don't own it. But I love it.

Note: Thanks once again to Headbanger Rockstar who catches all of my spelling and continuity errors! LOVE YOU! ! (dude. Dork. Snicker.)

It was Christmas Eve once again, and of course, the Gibbs men found themselves at the hospital once again. Only this time, they were joined by a little boy.

Jerry walked proudly with his Grandpa and the man he had met only two days before who was his Grandpa's Dad. Jerry called him Gramps. Jethro shook his head, and Tony thought it was brilliant.

Jerry went with Jethro and with a little encouragement, he walked into the second room all on his own. He presented the little rocking horse to the girl, talked to her a bit, and came back to his Grandpa. By the time they were done, Jerry was a pro. He walked in proudly carrying the last toy, a boat he'd helped his Grandpa make and paint.

In the bed was a little boy who was waiting for a lung transplant. He was on oxygen and hooked up to several machines. Jerry sat and talked with him until he fell asleep.

"Make a new friend?" Jerry nodded and tugged on Jethro's sleeve. His Grandpa knelt down and Jerry hugged him closely.

"Thanks, Grandpa." He kissed Gibbs' cheek. "I love you." Gibbs felt his eyes begin to sting. He pulled Jerry close and hugged him tightly.

"I love you too, Buddy. I love you, too."

Tony was slowly getting ready for his shower. He had a shirt, and his pants. Oh, yeah. He needed socks, too. This early morning stuff was just not working for him. He yawned, completely unaware that his Dad was watching him from around the corner.

He stumbled into the bathroom, turned to close the door, stubbed his toe, and bit his lip to not cry out. Jethro was by his side in a heartbeat.

"You ok?"

"Yeah," Tony grinned sheepishly, "I'm just not awake yet." His Dad smirked back.

"Well, Mr. I've now helped 600 children, take your time. Breakfast isn't ready yet." Tony blushed.

"I don't do anything with it, Dad. My part is over."

"No, you get involved all the time. More than you realize." Tony looked away, embarrassed. "Proud of you, son."

"Thanks, Dad." Jethro started to leave, but turned to face his son once again.

"You've come a long way in a year. You've worked hard." Gibbs patted his shoulder. "You're quite a man, Tony. Quite a man."

Christmas Morning found Lydia arriving early to make sure dinner was in the oven, Tony was up and dressed, Jack was comfortable and not working hard in the kitchen, and Gibbs wasn't asleep under his boat, and that the three older men kept quiet long enough to make sure Jerry got to sleep in until his Mom got off work.

She entered the kitchen to find Gibbs already at the stove making gravy for SOS. Coffee was brewing, Jack was sitting like a good boy with the crossword puzzle, and Tony was nowhere to be found, which meant he was still sleeping.

Jack looked up and flashed her a broad, bright smile. He and Jethro had gone 15 rounds earlier that night about their relationship. He told his son that he considered Lydia as his daughter-in-law, and Gibbs had rolled his eyes and sighed long-sufferingly. That had to mean something.

Lydia came to the older man and kissed his cheek. "Good morning!"

"Good morning!" Jack's voice was slightly louder than normal. Lydia put her finger to her lips.

"Jerry's got to sleep, and he's a light sleeper."

"Tell me about it." Gibbs smirked. "Come here, I need your help." He fairly drug Lydia from the room. She looked at him questioningly. He smirked back.

"What do you have on your mind?"

"I want to give you something." He shrugged.

"Yes? And it can't wait until we do presents?"

"No." She swore he blushed. "I don't want people to take it for more than it is, and I don't want to hear the jokes, but I saw it, and knew you'd love it."

"Oooooook. Something I should be worried about?"

"No." He smirked. "Here." She opened the package and gasped. In her hand was a lovely hummingbird pendant. It was made from silver, with little shards of gems pressed in to make the feathers and eyes. It was beautiful.

"Jethro." She looked up to him, her eyes moist. "It's gorgeous." She picked it up from the box and held it into the light where it flashed and twinkled.

"I'm glad you like it." His voice cracked, and he cleared his throat. She looked up at him and put the pendant back into it's case. She wrapped her arms around him.

"You are too good to me, Jethro." She kissed his cheek. "Thank you."

He tightened his arms around her and smiled down at her. "Thank you."

Ziva and Oded arrived several minutes before the others. Jerry was still sleeping, and Lydia wanted to see Oded, but she had to share him with Jack. Which left Ziva with her Dad.

He nodded to her, motioning with his head to come downstairs with him. She followed, not sure of what was going on. She hoped she wasn't in trouble for anything. She couldn't think of anything. Unless he was unhappy with Avery. But he'd seemed happy enough with her boyfriend.

He stood at the base of the stairs and watched her come down.

"You know, the first time I saw you come down those stairs, you were coming down after Ari died."

"After I shot him."

"To save me." His voice was soft. "And then you came to set me straight after Somalia." He motioned to her. "Come here, Baby Girl." She went to him and let him wrap her in his arms.

"You mean so much to me, Ziver. I don't talk as much as I should, and I don't say some things that I need to say." He stopped for a moment to gather his thoughts. "I'm proud of you. You've taken charge of your life, you're raising Oded so well. He's adjusted so well, he's happy, and he's healthy."

Ziva sniffed and nodded into her Daddy's chest. "I am so glad you've found a good man in Avery. He's good, Ziva, and I think you're making such good progress in life. And I'm proud of you. So proud."

The two stayed in their embrace until they could hear Oded upstairs calling for his Pop-pop.

Oded had an idea. He learned where noses were, and that people could get them. He wasn't sure how it worked, because after people "got" his nose, it was still on his face. But it made him laugh.

He heard his Pop-pop coming up the stairs, and he started to reach out, giggling and squealing "POP-POP" long before Gibbs was close enough to get him.

"There's a big boy!" Gibbs swooped his grandson up and hugged him close, rocking slowly. Oded started to giggle and felt gently around Pop-pop's face.

"What are you doin', Little Man?" As he finished speaking, Oded opened his mouth and nipped, biting his Pop-pop firmly on the nose. Gibbs jerked, and Oded started to laugh.

"Got you noooosh!" Gibbs laughed as Oded repeated his game over and over, squealing with laughter every time as if it was the greatest joke in the world. And to him, it was.

Jethro knew his nose would be sore the next day, but this was too cute. And he hated to discourage Oded from learning new things. And this was most certainly new. Both "boys" made sad faces when Mama came and stopped them.

"I'll blame you when he starts to bite." Ziva mock-glared at her dad. Gibbs just smiled back.

Tim and Abby arrived with LJ shortly before lunch. His sister had flown out earlier that morning to go to her boyfriend. LJ came shouting through the door, the irrepressible toddler looking for his cousin and Pop-pop. He hadn't seen the other two in a whole day... Abby swore he was going through withdrawal.

Jack chuckled and watched as the small toddler stormed in, still clinging to the fingers of his Mommy. He called and made a fuss. Oded "looked" around from where he sat. Once he knew for sure where LJ was coming from, he slowly made his way over to the door of the living room.

Once the two boys were hand in hand, it was as if Abby didn't exist. They were off, jogging as fast as their little legs would carry them. With the weird little vibe between them, they avoided bags, tables, chairs and legs. Lydia often joked about them having ESP.

Gibbs called to Tim and asked if he was ready to learn how to grill today. Tim said that yes, he was. They'd tried to have a cookout at their house a few months earlier, and it hadn't worked out well. Tim burned everything. And Gibbs still ribbed him about it.

Once the guys had the platter of burgers from Lydia, they headed outside.

"So, burgers for lunch?"

"Yep, Lydia wants to have the turkey for dinner, and I made her go to bed last night." Tim chuckled.

"So, what's going on between you two?"

"Nothing." Gibbs shrugged. "Just friends, same as always." Tim nodded.

"How are things with you and Abby?" Tim smiled widely.

"They're great." He started to say something, but stopped himself.

"What was that?"

"Oh, nothing. Well," the younger man hedged. "Don't say anything, but we've decided to try for another baby."

"Succeed yet?"

"No." Tim blushed. "We, uh, we just decided a couple of weeks ago." He grinned. "You ok with being a Grandpa again?" Gibbs glowed.

"I'll not say anything, but good luck." Tim smiled and headed in the house with the perfectly cooked burgers. His Dad followed close behind, a smile etched, unrelenting, to his features.

Jack sat on the couch, more tired than he wanted to admit to being. He was getting older, and wasn't used to the noise and confusion he'd been joyfully surrounded with. He yawned as Jethro sat down with two cups of coffee. He handed one off to Jack.

"Bit more than you're used to, huh?"

"Bit." The two men sipped coffee in the relative quiet of the moment. Today, quiet meant that the others were in the kitchen, the toddlers were finally calmed down and building with lincoln logs and duplo blocks, and the music was somewhat turned down.

"We can get you a hotel room if you'd rather, Dad. I know you like it in the day, but if it's too much at night, we can..."

"No, son. I'm happy here." He took a sip of his coffee. "It's noisy, but it's good." He smiled at his boy. "You've done good, son. Real good."

Abby stood off to the side, not sure if she should talk to her Dad or not. She never kept secrets from him. Well, not often. And it was Christmas. That was really bad for keeping secrets.

She finally screwed up her courage and grabbed his hand, leading him down the hall. Once she shut the door, he turned and looked at her, eyebrow cocked.

"I know I shouldn't have dragged you back here, but..."

"Shhh. Calm down." He smiled. "So what's so important?"

"Um, don't tell Tim, but I think I'm pregnant." Gibbs chuckled. He seemed to be the secret keeper of the family.

"And why tell me, and not your husband?"

"Because I'm bursting at the seams to tell someone, and I don't want to tell him in case I'm not, but I'm like a week late, and he's all excited that we're trying again, and I don't want to break his heart..." Gibbs put a finger to her lips.

"Tell me for sure after you take a test, ok?" She nodded, her eyes bright. "Until then, I'll pretend like I don't know anything." She squealed and jumped into his arms.

"I love you, Daddy."

Sarah was late. She'd just gotten off of work, got stuck in traffic, and was having a horrible day. To make it worse, this was the first Christmas Jerry hadn't been in the hospital for in years. She got to a stop sign, and as she was supposed to, stopped.

The man behind her didn't. Her car jerked forward, running into the telephone pole directly across from her at the odd shaped intersection. She swore as her car crumpled.

Sarah wasn't hurt, neither was the idiot behind her, but she was angry. And even later. Digging out her cell phone, she called Lydia and let her know what happened.

Only twenty minutes later, before the police had even arrived, Gibbs was there. He brought a thermos of coffee, a blanket and pillow and lots of concern. He checked her over quickly, and not seeing any blood or limbs at odd angles, he was finally relieved.

"I'm ok, Jethro." He drew her into a gentle hug.

"I know, kiddo, and I know that you can do this by yourself." He drew back and looked down at her. "Just let me be here, ok?"

"Ok." He stayed while the police talked to his daughter and the man who hit her. He watched as she began to shiver, and placed a call to Ducky. He wanted to get her checked before they got back to the house. His next call was to Lydia, to once again reassure her that Sarah was fine. Jerry was also waiting for him anxiously, and asked questions faster than his Grandpa could answer them.

When she was finally free to go and her car was being loaded onto a tow-truck, she climbed into Gibbs warm Charger. He drove carefully to Ducky's house and got her inside, where the ME declared she was healthy and unharmed. Soreness would be her downfall, but that was it.

Once they were back in the car, Sarah started to cry.

"What's up?"

"I just lost my car. It's Christmas." Her breath hitched, and Gibbs pulled over.

"Listen to me, Sarah." He waited until she was somewhat calmed. "You may have lost your car, but it was falling apart anyway. Now is just time to take up your big brothers' offer of a car."

"It's too much." She shook her head furiously.

"No, it's not. Trust me." He chuckled. "Besides, he and Tim are already planning on car shopping for you. Just take the car." Sarah sighed.

"You and your family are too good to us. We can never repay you." Gibbs was glad he'd not started driving again. He may have slammed on the breaks if he had.

"You don't have to repay us, Sarah. We're family, and this is what family does." He shrugged. "Sure, most families don't have a multimillionaire in them, but families share."

"Thanks so much."

"You're welcome." He leaned over and bumped shoulder with her. "After all, you're the baby of the family now. Except the grandkids." That got Sarah to giggling.

Jerry had been upset all afternoon following his mom's mishap. He knew she was safe, and he knew they would be ok, and he knew she hadn't done anything wrong. But he was terrified that he could have lost her.

The two had gone and cuddled together for a bit. She had calmed his original fears, but he'd gotten worse though the evening. Clingy, teary, just not himself.

Grandpa asked him to come downstairs with him. Jerry followed, sure he was going to be in trouble. He was acting like a baby. Instead of shouting at him, Gibbs pulled up two stools and helped Jerry onto one. The boy sat staring at his fingers.

"What's going on?" Jerry shrugged. "Scared?" Complete silence and no movement. Finally there was a nod.

"You know, I get scared sometimes."

"You do?"

"Yeah." Gibbs nodded. "I was scared tonight, too. I was scared once when one of my other kids was shot. Her name was Kate, and I was worried that the man who shot her would shoot someone else."

"That's a big scare." Jerry sniffled. "My mom's car accident is little next to a gun."

"No, it's not." Jethro's voice was calm. "All sorts of things scare people, and it's ok to be afraid. Especially of car accidents."

Jerry started to cry. Jethro held him close and let the boy cry out his fears. He told him about a time when he was little and scared. His biggest comfort was the knowledge that his Grandpa would take care of everything. There wasn't anything Jethro Gibbs couldn't do. He could even fix car accidents and tears.

The sun had long since gone down. Presents had been opened, toys played with, dinner eaten, and LJ was so tired he was getting giddy. Avery had Oded over on the couch, whispering a quiet story to the tot. Tim was nearing his wits end with LJ when Jethro snatched him up and headed to his recliner.

Gibbs started to rub LJ's back slowly. He hummed a quiet lullaby, and let himself relax, feeling the tension of the day drain out of his own body. As he calmed, so did LJ.

Soon the boy was yawning. Then his eyelids drooped. He snuggled into his Pop-pop closer and was soon asleep. Gibbs followed him into slumber, and when Abby plucked her son from his arms later on, he barely roused before murmuring good night.

Lydia was finishing loading the dishwasher when Gibbs woke from his nap. He made his way to the kitchen for coffee, and she teased him about still not being able to rock the kids to sleep without sleeping himself.

He grinned. "You know it."

She laughed and shut the dishwasher door.

"You doing anything New Years Eve?"

"No, not really."

"Good." He grinned. "I made us reservations at that place we tried to have dinner at before."

"Jethro! They've been advertising their New Years dinner package on the radio! You can't spend that much!"

"Yes I can, and I did, and we're going." He'd already told his kids he was taking Lydia to dinner, and hope was springing eternal for them. The week's end would tell.


	64. It's a Crazy, Crazy Week

Disclaimer: Still don't own it!

Note: Thanks to Headbanger Rockstar for the help..once again! Helping me with ideas when I get stuck, spelling, all of that stuff. You're awesome, dude! !

Note: These two sheep were bouncing across the desert when the girl turns to the side, but the boy keeps going...right off a cliff. When he gets to heaven, St. Peter looks at him all confused and says, "You're not supposed to be here yet! What are you doing here?" The ram looks around and says, "Oh, I guess I missed my Ewe Turn." Smile! It's nearly Christmas!

It was the busy week between Christmas and New Years. The team caught a case, the daycare was closed, Lydia was scheduled to work only one day that week, which was wonderful. Only that day was New Years Eve.

Ziva arrived early in the morning with Oded and dropped him off. She'd found another sitter, but the woman had been swamped with the holiday, and Ziva wasn't easy about leaving her son there. Lydia agreed, and she was waiting for her daughter and grandson.

Jethro had left earlier that morning, grumbling about his kids expecting too much from her. Lydia had already told him that the boys were coming only when they had colds or the day-care was closed. Ziva had tried another sitter, but there were too many kids, and neither woman was comfortable with it. He'd grudgingly agreed, but left muttering anyway.

Lydia sighed and shook her head. Men.

Tony was going to work today, in that he would be helping paint two rooms with giraffe's and elephants. He wasn't able to deal with many people today, but he wanted to give something. So filling in the outlined animals was his job for the day.

He had gotten himself up and made breakfast. He'd been progressing on his good days, and was now making eggs and bacon for himself at least once a week. The other days, he grumbled because his Mom said it was too much cholesterol to have every day. He settled for oatmeal, coco wheat, and cold cereal the rest of the week.

He was up already, grousing at the refrigerator. He glared at the milk jug, then at the silverware drawer. He looked rested, just angry.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, really." He sighed. "I can't find the jeans I wanted to wear today."

"Did you look on top of the dryer? I put your folded clothes there." He snapped his fingers and jumped a bit.

"I forgot." He tore off to the laundry room and shouted that he'd found them. He walked past with an armful of folded clothes.

"Thanks, Mom." He grinned, the bad mood completely gone.

"You're welcome."

"Good morning!" Ziva called from the door.

"In the kitchen." Lydia called back. Her daughter laughed. Her mom was always in the kitchen, like her dad was always in the basement.

Oded was up and ready to play. Baby gates had become permanent fixtures around the house, especially when Oded was over. Jethro had made wooden ones that he screwed into the doorways that extended and retracted as needed. A quick pull, and the house was baby proofed.

She had laughed until tears ran down her face when she caught Jethro stapling power cords to lamps down. The lamps wouldn't move, that was sure, but to see him stapling them was hysterical. Especially when he tried to explain what he was doing.

Ziva walked through, clicking the gates into place. She called up the stairs to let her brother know they were closed. He shouted something unintelligible in response.

Oded was put down, and he went exploring. He constantly amazed his elders. He remembered where things were, even at his young age. So the Gibbs family had gotten very conscious of making sure things got put back where they should be.

Oded was the only child she would have that day, so she planned an easy, light day. Breena called and wanted to go hit after-Christmas sales. Lydia loved to shop, so after a call to Ziva to make sure it was ok, they headed to the mall.

Sarah called while they were out, wondering if Lydia was free for lunch. She was taking Tony to get something, and he needed a quick "mom-fix", as he'd been basically accosted by a grateful parent who just couldn't say "thank you" enough.

So the four of them met back at Gibbs house. They stopped and picked up some tacos and burritos. Sarah had a rental car from her insurance company, but she wasn't sure what she was going to get. She had a couple in mind, but wasn't sure which ones she wanted to get.

And she didn't want to ask for too much from her brother. She planned on going car shopping with the guys that evening, so long as the team got out of work on time. Tony drummed his fingers nervously on the dash.

"We'll be home soon, Tony." She spoke quietly, afraid that loud noises would upset him more. He just nodded in response.

They arrived home shortly before Lydia and Breena, and Tony headed up to his room. Sarah got coffee started, since she could use a cup, Lydia was as addicted to it as Gibbs, and Breena didn't drink it only because she was nursing still.

Lydia headed straight upstairs, knowing Tony would be in his room. She knocked on the door, and he opened it.

"What happened?"

"Some woman who couldn't understand that saying thanks once was enough." He shrugged. "She kept going on and on, and the more I backed away, the closer she got."

"How do you feel now?"

"I'm embarrassed."

"Why?"

"Because I got scared." He sounded angry with himself.

"Come down and have lunch, Tony. Then come up here and spend some time alone. It's ok."

"I gotta finish painting."

"They'll understand." He nodded and followed her.

The family relaxed and had fun during lunch, the two kids getting all of the adults to laugh. Especially when Sophie, who was just starting to eat solids, decided she most absolutely, certainly, without a doubt, did not like sour cream. There had been just a tiny bit of the cream on a bit of meat, and Sophie sputtered and spit, her face screwing up into the most horrible pose.

Gibbs and his team got out of work on time, and they arranged to have dinner brought over to Gibbs' house. The guys were going to take Sarah car shopping, and it would be easier to get going again if they were already together.

They got to the house to find Breena and Sophie still visiting, and Gibbs invited them to stay, but Breena blushed. She and Jimmy had a date tonight, and Grandpa Ducky was babysitting. Jethro chuckled and kissed her cheek, sending her out the door.

The house was filled with noisy kids and laughing adults by the time the delivery driver showed up with the pizzas. They ate quickly, Tony and Jerry disappearing to Tony's room to play a video game, the kids were locked into their highchairs, and the adults stood around with paper plates filled with the hot, cheesy goodness.

Jethro started to hurry them through dinner, wanting to get to the dealerships before dark. He shouted up for Tony, who came bouncing down the stairs he loved car shopping. There were so many cars, and so little time.

The guys and Sarah left, arguing over where to go look first. They were naming pricey dealerships, and she was cringing. When they asked her where she wanted to start, she said the name of a buy-here-pay-here place. She was immediately vetoed.

She explained her finances once again, and was greeted by head-slaps from three directions at once. She jerked forward in her seat while all three men lectured her on what family was for, and why family was important, and how she was now part of their family. Tony, however, summed it up perfectly.

"Shut up and tell me what you like." That earned groans from Gibbs and Tim. They stopped first at a Kia dealership, but she didn't find anything she liked there, and Gibbs had an issue with all of the engine designs, but he couldn't fault the gas mileage. Tim did like the security, but Tony didn't like the cup holders.

So they left and headed to the Ford place down the road. She found two that she liked, but she wasn't thrilled with them. The models passed Gibbs' engine and transmission requirements, Tim was happy with the security systems and safety features, and Tony loved the stereo. So she made a note of the two cars, and they headed to their next destination.

Toyota! She searched the lot, found a few that didn't pass the man inspection, or she didn't care for the one's they liked, and she felt like she shouldn't argue with them. They were paying for it, anyway.

It got dark, and they decided to call it a night. Tony called the next day and made appointments at several dealerships, asking that they bring out their best cars for them to look at.

They started out the next evening, practically retracing their steps of the night before. Some, Gibbs dismissed out of hand, others, Tim argued that their electrical systems were not the best, and others Tony argued that the stereos weren't great, and everyone knows that a great car starts with the music.

Sarah just laughed at them. She fell in love with the Motor Trend Car of the Year. A Chevrolet Volt. She didn't want to say it, but there was a gleam in her eye no one could miss. Gibbs winked to Tony, who grinned back and nodded. Tim nodded his approval as well, and she screamed as if she'd won some lottery when Gibbs started to discuss terms with the dealer.

The car was a pricey $50,000, which was an entire years salary without taking out rent, taxes, or utilities. However, it had what was considered the best goodies, engine, safety features, and handling.

When Gibbs walked back with Tony swinging keys and grinning, she began crying. When they handed her the title, free and clear, she cried harder.

Surrounded by her Dad and brothers, she got into her new car, Tim by her side, and started to drive back home. Gibbs and Tony laughed as they followed her home. She drove so carefully, seeming to be afraid to even get it dirty. The guys, they would have been putting it through the paces. Not her. She was overly careful, as if afraid it wasn't really hers.

"Dude! Drive!" Tony heckled, all the while knowing she couldn't hear him. "It's the pedal on the right, sistah!"

Gibbs reached over and head-slapped him.

"Dad! She's being so careful!"

"And it's her car."

"I know. I know." Tony laughed. "Jerry's gonna flip."

Sure enough, the boy was ecstatic over the car. He shouted and jumped about before climbing in and looking at everything. He and Tony shut the doors and cranked the stereo, making the driveway vibrate with the bass. Sarah covered her ears and shook her head from where she stood.

Her big brother stuck out his tongue but he turned it down. The family stood admiring her new car while the sun went down. Tony then about gave her a heart attack when he piped up with a comment.

"This car is too nice for your apartment." He grinned. "We need to house hunt." Gibbs just rolled his eyes. He'd leave that one to Lydia.


	65. Happy New Year!

Disclaimer: Don't own it! Wish I did. :)

Note: Thanks once again to Headbanger Rockstar for being my beta! Love you! Ptbbbbbbbbbbbb!

Lydia groaned in frustration. She'd been working at Best Life in the pulmonary department for several weeks, and one of her regular patients was giving her fits. He didn't want to do his nebulizer treatment. He was taking his mask off, opening the medication chamber, crimping the air hose, anything he could think of. The worst part was that he was usually adorable.

He liked to talk and tell stories, and at 85, he had plenty to tell. She usually listened to stories of railroads and trolley cars with pleasure. She finally switched off the machine and asked him what was wrong. He looked at her, tears in his eyes.

"I'm sorry, Miss Lydia." His voice wavered with age and sorrow. "It's the day my Elsie died. 15 years ago. I'm just ready to be with her."

"I'm so sorry, Lionel. I had no idea." They sat and talked about Elsie until he was ready to do his treatment. He finally agreed that yes, she would be furious if he stopped taking his medicines and died. After all, who would take care of their teenaged great-grandson. The family hadn't even been able to get medical care until Best Life opened, and bills had stacked up.

Lionel's grandson showed up on occasion and left money, but he never left enough. The older gentleman's pension had been going toward basic necessities for the last two years that he had had Simon. He'd never complain about it. He loved his boy. And after a life of hurt with a father who didn't care, Simon adored his Grandpa.

Lydia called Jethro on her way home. She needed to get ready, but talking to Lionel had been more important than getting to a party on time. She just hoped Jethro would feel the same.

"Don't worry about it, Lydia. We'll get there when we get there. Just go home, settle down, take a shower, and call me when you're about ready."

"You're still sanding your boat, aren't you?" Gibbs laughed.

"You know me far too well." All guilt completely erased, she went home and got ready at a leisurely pace.

Jethro arrived an hour later to her house. She'd not called yet, but he figured she'd be ready soon. He shouted out as he came through her door. She called back, and he started the coffee pot. She was brushing her teeth, so that meant the face was next. And probably her hair, too. He smiled and pulled the day's paper out of her recycle bin.

Lydia smelled the aroma of coffee and smiled. He wasn't upset that she wasn't ready yet. She called down and asked if he needed anything, and he shouted up that yes, a pen for the crossword. She asked if he'd looked in the desk drawer, and he said no. She heard it slide open, and then shut. Silence. He must have found it.

He lost track of time, filling in the Jumble Words first, then doing the Sudoku. He had just started on the crossword puzzle when she came down the stairs. He stood, forgetting his momentary frustration at not figuring out the clue. She was beyond beautiful.

The last time he'd seen her dressed up she wore royal blue, and he thought that was great. How she looked in this emerald green satin was amazing.

He'd been with her when she found the fabric at one of the many flea markets they'd visited. She'd talked about making a dress, but then she'd not said anything else about it. Sophie had received a new dress with the material shortly after she was born, so he'd assumed she'd not made her dress. Now, he saw her tiny dress had come from leftovers.

"Are you going to say something?" She blushed. Really, if he swallowed one more time...

"You look wonderful." He came forward and kissed her lightly. "I'll be the envy of every man there."

"I doubt it." She went from a light pink blush to completely red.

"Come on." He took her hand and led her to the door. "Let's go."

"My purse and jacket." He dreaded her bringing along her usual sack, but he needn't have worried.

She'd made a clutch purse to match, and her jacket for the evening was the one he'd given her from the flea market. He would have never thought of putting the two together, but rather than detract from the beauty of the dress, the shimmering beads added to it's beauty.

Lydia had discovered a slight tear in the denim jacket, and had carefully removed the artwork on it's back and transferred it over to a bronze-colored new jacket. The contrast of the colors and materials worked in a way he never would have imagined.

They arrived at the restaurant with large appetites and laughter. The maitre'd showed them to their table, and soon their server had their drink and appetizer orders.

They talked and flirted playfully all through dinner with the ease and confidence of a couple who knew one another well. Lydia blushed several times, while Jethro ducked his head in adorable embarrassment more than once.

It was nearing midnight, and they decided to join in the dancing. They'd not danced since that first "date" when they were just friends, and technically, they were still only friends. Very close friends who shared one another's daily lives.

The DJ switched from vocals to instrumentals, and his first song of choice was "Take My Breath Away." Jethro couldn't help but think of how perfect the song was. Something in his eyes must have given him away, because Lydia blushed and lowered her eyes.

Jethro moved his arms slightly, which brought her closer to him. A couple of the younger men grinned and nodded to him. Jethro preened. He did indeed have the prettiest lady there.

One couple talked quietly about how they'd like to still be in love when they'd been together that long. They would have been shocked to know that this was a new relationship. In a room full of couples all looking to start the new year off right, two friends simply enjoyed the comfort of being together.

Midnight crept closer with every song, and finally it was time. Bells and trumpets replaced the music, confetti was throw, Happy New Year's were shouted, and kisses exchanged.

Jethro smiled down at Lydia and dipped his head, kissing her quickly. He felt a change in the air as he continued to look at her. Her hand moved from his shoulder to his neck, where her thumb caressed a sensitive spot just below his ear. He watched as a pretty blush stole across her cheeks and she unconsciously licked her lips.

When he lowered his head to meet hers again, he stopped just shy of kissing her. Their breath mingled for an eternity before she closed the distance. His hand went to her hair, knotting it in his fingers as their tongues dueled. Her hands were lost, unsure of where to go, and not really caring.

The rest of their companions disappeared as they feasted on one another, panted breaths stolen only to be sacrificed to another kiss. She pulled him tight to her, feeling his strength radiate from him. He groaned and continued their kiss.

Cheers and wolf-whistles broke through their haze. They chuckled and started to separate, little kisses tapering slowly to nothing as they caught their breath.

Jethro wrapped his arms tightly about her, chuckling and accepting the good-natured ribbing that came from their fellow partiers. Lydia leaned against his chest, completely flustered. Her arms and legs felt like rubber. Something she had never experienced before.

He loosed his arms, and she did the same. Backing slightly away, he smiled down at her. His hands ran lightly up and down her back, keeping it tingling with sensation.

"Happy New Year, Beautiful."


	66. A Question to Begin Forever

Disclaimer: Don't own it.

Note: Many thanks to Headbanger Rockstar for being my beta! Love ya! ptbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb!

Note: MERRY CHRISTMAS! (in the original definition of "merry", the word means "strong or mighty") So I guess I should say... Have a MIGHTY AMAZING CHRISTMAS!

Lydia sat shelling peas. New Years had only been a few days ago, and neither were sure of how to tell their kids of their relationship. When was more of the question. Tim had been out of town, Ziva had been taking evening classes with Oded, the two learning how to walk with his new cane. And they didn't want to play the "I knew already" game. Their children would lord it over one another. Lydia had groaned and said there was enough sibling rivalry as it was. Sarah was a master at tormenting Tony. And Ziva loved it.

She and Jethro had once again been out to the indoor flea market. The "twins" raced from room to room. Tony was upstairs playing some game with Jerry, Sarah was headed out for work, Ziva was on her way over with the main course for the evening, Avery was meeting her at her Dad's house, and Abby was driving from work while Jethro was on his way to the airport to pick up Tim once again. It was another calm day in the Gibbs' household.

Across town, Jethro stood over a jewelry counter. He had another hour before Tim's flight arrived. He'd left early claiming traffic. His love saw through him, but didn't know his reason. It wasn't for time alone, but for a ring.

Jethro kept returning to the same one, not sure of what drew him to it. He finally asked to see it. The jeweler pulled it out, showing the gleaming piece off. Jethro held it, looking at it from many angles. It was nice, but something was off.

"It's nice. It really is."

"But it's not right." Gibbs smirked and nodded.

"How about you tell me about your lady?"

"Um, she's about 15 years younger than me, has red hair, is a nurse, takes care of our grandkids."

"Oh, so she's your wife?"

"No." Gibbs looked confused for a second. "Oh, sorry, they're my grandkids, but they call her grandma." The jeweler smiled. She thought she might have just the thing.

Jethro walked out with no ring. He dialed his dad.

"Hey, Leroy."

"Hi, Dad." He smiled. His dad sounded so happy.

"What's going on?"

"Well, I want to ask Lydia to marry me, and I was wondering if..." Jackson interrupted him.

"Check the drawer where you keep your rifle."

"What?"

"Check the drawer where you keep your rifle." Jethro laughed. His dad had done it again.

(flashback)

_Jethro called his dad, frantic. He'd been looking and looking for the perfect Christmas present. All his new bride wanted was an angel tree topper like what his parent's had. She'd seen it two weeks ago while visiting, and fallen in love with the lacy creation._

_Now he had hit up every store he could get to. None of them carried anything even close. So he'd called his dad. Maybe they sold them in Sweetwater. Maybe the person who made it still was doing the craft. His dad had chuckled._

"_Go look in the garage."_

"_What?"_

"_The garage, Leroy. Up in your cabinet." Jethro had gone out and looked. He'd shared a laugh with his dad. That day, he'd learned his dad paid far better attention than he thought he did._

(end flashback)

He got Tim from the airport and they headed for home. Lydia had called to be sure he was ok, and he'd said he was fine. They'd waited for a moment before Jethro had smiled and ended their call.

"The kids all there?"

"Everybody but Tim." He chuckled.

"Well, I'll say I love you. What will you say?"

"Don't forget to buy bread."

They arrived home, and both men hurried inside. It had begun to snow again. The door opened to delightful smells and noises.

The UnGibbs Untwins ran to them, shouting. They were giggling wildly while Jerry chased them, and they needed the newly arrived Pop-pop to save them.

Jethro laughed and scooped up his tiny tots. They shrieked with laughter, clapping and wiggling around. Tim helped balance Oded.

"Dinner!" Lydia's voice rang through the house.

"Come on, boys, we gotta wash before Gramma get's mad."

"I heard that, Jethro!" He winked to Tim and passed off his grandsons. He started to the kitchen, not realizing Lydia was on her way out. They met in the door.

"Hey."

"Hi. How was your afternoon?"

"Good. I went window shopping."

"Find anything good?"

"No, just looking." Without another word, Jethro leaned down and kissed her. A chorus of "ewwww" playfully rose up from their older boys.

Jethro turned, his arms still around Lydia.

"Gross, is it?" Jerry giggled, nodding as his face turned red. Tony made a show of covering his eyes.

Lydia tapped his arm, and he turned toward her again. He swooped down, devouring her mouth hungrily. Their tongues dueled as their children stood in shock.

LJ broke the moment by spanking his Pop-pop as hard as he could. Tears flowed from his face as he announced, "Dat MY Gwamma!"

Dinner was over, the kids had gone home, and Lydia was finishing up some things for the next day. The team had the day off, and Jethro had the idea of taking everyone sledding. He'd not realized what went into a sledding trip.

Sandwich stuff loaded his counter, bags of chips, napkins, carrots and celery were sliced for lunches, and bags lay stacked on the counter.

Gibbs was downstairs doing his best to stay silent while searching for the ring. He pulled out the drawer in question, and sure enough, in the oval of the trigger, there was a small cloth package. It was the ring. Smiling, he headed up the stairs.

He watched Lydia for a few minutes. She was puttering along, not put out in the slightest to be making lunches. She was actually having a great time. She noticed him finally and smiled.

"Hey, Handsome." He found himself moving forward, yet he couldn't remember moving his feet.

"What ya doin?"

"Lunches for tomorrow." Lydia smiled. "That way, we can stay at the hill as long as we want to."

"We're gonna leave at 10." She laughed.

"No, the kids are showing up at 10. Has this crew ever been on time for anything?" Gibbs pretended to think.

"No." He laughed with her. She looked at him. Something was off. He was thinking too hard.

"What's on your mind?" She moved to him, wrapping her arms around him, laying her head on his chest. He sighed. So much for the subtle approach.

"I've been thinking."

"Yeah? You're still thinking. What's up?" Jethro sighed. He rubbed her back slowly as he spoke.

"Tonight, LJ had it right when he spanked me and said you're his Grandma." She chuckled.

"He was so funny." She felt a light kiss pressed to her head.

"Yep, that's my boy." Jethro chuckled along with her, especially when she dug playfully into his ribs. "Stop it, woman." A moment later, he was tickling her back.

A shriek had Tony running down the stairs. He watched, partly horrified, partly mystified, and partly amused as his parent's tickled one another. He quietly returned to his room. Some things, he just didn't want to know.

When their laughter settled, the two sat at the table catching their breath.

"You know, I usually act my age." Gibbs mock glared at her.

"Wow. I didn't realize that, sorry." She glared back until they began to chuckle again. When they settled, they sat, each lost in thought of how wonderful it was to have someone to laugh with.

Jethro was pondering how to ask Lydia to marry him. He'd had his previous attempt side-lined. He considered waiting for another evening, when he heard himself talking. He hoped auto-pilot would do the trick. It was too late now if it didn't.

"When Shannon and Kelly died, I stopped living. I joined NCIS to take down the people who committed crimes. I didn't care about living. I got married again and again simply so I wouldn't come home to an empty house." He shrugged. "I hurt a lot of people trying to feel something again."

Lydia sat and listened. She held his hand, not speaking. She wasn't sure of where this was going, but it was something important.

"I met Jenny when we were on assignment in, well, it doesn't matter where. We fell in love, or I did at least. She left me in Paris." Lydia nodded. She'd heard bits and pieces from the kids.

"When she came back to me here in DC, I thought we could pick up where we left off. The kids were still hanging out, sort of on the edges of the dance we played at. They loved us while we were being foolish. And then she was gone." He sighed and looked her in the eye. "I've made a lot of mistakes, Lydia. A lot of them. But there's one mistake I don't want to make, and that would be missing you." He dropped to his knee, and her eyes widened.

"I love you, Lydia. I don't love you for doing the laundry, or cooking, or making sure that Tony's alright. I love you for being you. I love you for making this house into a home."

Tears ran down her cheeks. He wiped them away.

"Will you marry me?" Lydia nodded, not trusting her voice immediately.

His lips met hers. They kissed gently, softly exploring only one another's lips. He finally thought to pull the ring from his pocket. He separated from her long enough to put it on her finger.

"It was my mom's." He shrugged, desperately trying to hide the crack in his voice. "I didn't give it to Shannon. I've never known why all these years, but now I think it's because it was supposed to go to you." She leaned against him, admiring the ring as it flashed in the light.

Lydia sighed and snuggled into his chest further. He lay his head on hers as he rocked slowly back and forth.

"I love you, Jethro."


	67. Lydia's Best Friend

Disclaimer: Don't own it. Just wish I did. :)

Note: Thanks to Headbanger Rockstar for taking the time to proof read for me. Love ya, Dude! ptbbbbbbbbbb!

Lydia's best friend was a woman who lived hundreds of miles away. She was a woman who knew all there was to know about Lydia, yet Lydia was still learning about her. Her best friend was her mom.

When she left for college, she called every day. Sometimes twice a day, and she came home for every major holiday. When her dad died, she'd gone home for two months, helping her mom do whatever needed to be done, along with her little sister.

She and Janice had never really gotten along. It seemed that the best thing for their relationship was to be hours apart, only speak a few times a year, and always do whatever Janice wanted. No questions, no complaints, and no slacking off. Janice was a copy of their father, while Lydia modeled their mother.

Janice had insisted Mary go stay with she and her husband, so Lydia had helped her mother pack and sort through her father's things. Lydia told her of a handsome young man she'd met named Hank. Mary was less than thrilled, but Lydia was determined. Hank was the one.

After she got home from that trip, Hank became more controlling. But Lydia was used to it. Her father had been the same way. So she just did what her mother had done. She straightened her back, squared her shoulders, set her mind, and loved him. Even through the bruises.

Lydia had been calling her mother only once a week before she had married Hank. He'd gotten meaner, so she'd let her calls go down to once a month. And that bothered her to no end. Some days she yearned to even hear her mom say "hello", but she was afraid of what Hank would do if he saw the long-distance call on the bill. After all, he was in charge of the finances, not her.

Lydia called her when she miscarried her only child. She'd been so happy to be having a baby, but apparently Hank didn't care one way or the other. So she'd called her mother, wanting to share pain with someone. The baby had been still-born.

Hank was angry that she was confiding in someone other than him, so he had, in his words, taken measures. Lydia had been beaten. Of course he went for the weakest part of her body. When the police were investigating, he claimed to have come home and found her. She wouldn't argue, she was too afraid.

Lydia had ended up with one ovary that had to be removed, three broken ribs in her back, her uterus was a mess, as she had come home from the hospital only days before. She'd bled severely, and they'd had to stop her bleeding. She never understood what they did exactly, but she never conceived again. Something she mourned and yet was thankful for in turns.

And then came the day Hank left. She'd been devastated. Not that he had gone, but that he had left her for a younger woman who could give him children.

That blow hurt worse than any of the others he'd ever thrown. Her inability to have children rested completely on him and his temper. Her mom let her cry though the phone.

Her mom was there to coach her through learning to pay bills, finding a good mechanic, and dealing with the shame of being left. Mary came out and stayed with Lydia for months, helping where she could, teaching her daughter to stand on her own two feet.

"I'm sorry, Lydia." Mary cried to her one night after Lydia had returned from her therapist in tears, "I'm so sorry. I should have left your father." Together they wept for wasted years with men who would never love them. Of men who didn't deserve them.

And her mom listened with concern the day Lydia called to tell her Hank was moving back in. Mary made no secret about hating the man. Lydia seemed to have boundaries with him, but Mary wasn't quite sure. It was only after Lydia called on an un-scheduled day that her mom relaxed.

And then Hank had died, and she'd called every day that first year. During the second year, she started to call every other day. By the fourth year, they had a steady schedule of twice a week calls, with plenty of "just because" calls in between. Mary laughed when Lydia called just because she saw a cloud and it reminded her of Mary's old purse. Yes, they talked too much. Or maybe just enough.

Then Lydia had met Jethro and his children. Mary listened with interest as Lydia told her of her new friend. She was glad that the man was willing to be friends first. Her daughter had been through enough.

Then Lydia called to tell her that she'd quit her job and had taken on the job of being Tony's day-time caregiver. Her mom was silently seething. She was terrified that her daughter, so attuned to the needs of others, was setting herself up for Hank Number 2.

She'd never tell Lydia, or at least not yet, but she was nervous. Afraid that the calls would stop. That Lydia would find herself boxed in again, this time with dependents. Lydia would never walk away from those kids willingly. Her voice came alive with maternal pride almost from the beginning.

Her mom heard about Leroy Jethro Gibbs. His gray hair, blue eyes, and multiple divorces. Of the boat in his basement, of his lost wife and daughter. She heard of his love for his new family, of how he played with his grandchildren, and how he made most of the toys he gave to them.

She heard about Tony. He was brought up in every conversation, in fact. And Mom McNamara thought he was great. She'd heard him a few times over the phone when she'd called to talk to Lydia. And she'd laughed every time.

Mary had no idea how a young man could become trapped in a realm of panic and mental instability, but Lydia completely loved the goofball. Mary tried to understand, but it wasn't really something she had ever come across before. But she was willing to give him a chance. If she ever met him.

Lydia told her mom about Ziva and how she adopted Oded. She told her mom about how well Ziva was doing raising Oded as normally as possible, not giving in to the urge to keep him from everything simply because he was visually-impaired.

Mary was fascinated by the young woman who was originally trained for only death who had taken to motherhood so well. She asked questions about Oded, and how he was dealing with a world revolving so strongly around visual stimuli.

At two and a half, the child was walking and talking as well as any other boy his age. He'd learned to be careful when walking, and unless he was holding a hand and receiving directions, he walked slowly with his hands out before him. Ziva had spoken to his doctor about a cane, and as soon as Oded was a little older, he'd get his first cane.

She'd heard about Abby with her tattoos, her studded collars, and her opposite husband, who was conservative, almost to a fault. Mary laughed over some of the stories told to her about the odd couple. She laughed over LJ learning to give the "rock" sign before he could talk. Of Tim teaching him to do the Vulcan salute as revenge. They sounded adorable.

Mary heard about the team. How they worked together, how Jethro expected them to remember that work was work, and home was home. That they never mixed. She heard Lydia's rants when she thought Jethro was too hard on his children. Mary heard about the long hours they worked, how Lydia and Jethro kept the both of the boys at least once a month to allow the younger couples to have time together.

And Lydia's mom never missed the "we" in her daughters' conversations. Or the times when Lydia would be talking and someone would hand her a child, along with the words "Go see Grandma." The only thing she missed was the conversation in which Lydia told her she and Jethro were a couple.

Lydia gave her mother Gibbs' home phone number in case she ever needed to get a hold of her and she wasn't answering her phone. Mary asked to be sure it was ok, and Lydia assured her it was fine. She'd already asked her boss.

"Of course." He looked at her quizzically. "Good idea, but why are you so nervous?" That was the first time he got the non-answer answer regarding her husband.

Then came the slips in conversations. The telling of changing out furniture in Jethro's house, of him fixing her car, cleaning her garage, and giving her threads for cross-stitch that were already carded. And of Lydia taking her family Thanksgiving dinner.

The grandbabies taking their first steps, of first birthday parties, and of first words. She watched from states away as her daughter fell in love with a man who sounded great. But didn't seem to return her daughters' affections. And that worried Mary.

She'd been with the Gibbs family for nearly three years now. And Jethro had never asked Lydia out for a date. She was a fixture in their lives, but she was not quite family, not quite friend, not quite employee. Mary was worried that although she enjoyed her life now, that she'd come to resent it.

Then came the day when Gibbs was home and she called the house phone.

"Gibbs."

"Oh, hello. I'm sorry, I'm calling for Lydia." She suddenly sounded nervous.

"She stopped at the grocery store on her way home, but I can have her call you back." His voice sounded gruff, but he lacked the cruel tone Hank had always used.

"Thanks, this is Mary, her mother." Gibbs' eyes flew wide.

"Oh, hello!" He fumbled his coffee cup. "I've heard a lot about you." She could hear the smile in his voice. "Only some of it bad." Mary laughed.

They had a good conversation for a few minutes, and then Lydia had come home and taken the phone back. She'd bit her lips, smiling and doing her best to not laugh when she heard their conversation. She'd learned more about this man and her daughters' place in his life than she ever had from Lydia herself.

"Hey, Hon." This came from Gibbs. He seemed to forget he had the phone with Lydia's mom held to his ear. Mary heard a quick kiss. Or she thought she did. She wasn't sure. But the eavesdropping was too much fun to ask.

"Hey, sorry I'm late. Got stuck at work." The rustle of bags. "Some old guy who doesn't like to do his treatments."

"Sounds like fun." Mary heard a snort.

"Don't say that, Dad. She hit me for that comment."

"I didn't hit you. A head-slap isn't hitting."

"Whatever you say, Mom." There was a beat in which Mary could hear Jethro chuckle.

"And don't forget it. Now go wash." Mary was in near hysterics on the other end of the line. "By the way, we've got the babies tomorrow night."

"Then I hope you're off work, Grandma, because I may be stuck at work. Vance wants me to be on call for something he's got going on in MTAC."

"I'll be here, Pop-pop, and you know you'll be here."

"Dinner's almost done, I'll leave it to you to salvage."

"Yeah, so finish your call."

"Oh! It's your mom." Mary could picture her daughter taking the phone from her friend. If that was indeed what he was. Their conversation just now said otherwise.

"Then give it here and get lost." Mary couldn't help it anymore. She laughed.

The next call was after New Years. Lydia gushed on and on over her date with Jethro, and Mary listened, entranced. Her daughter was doing a wonderful impersonation of a giggling girl. Even when she was years younger and "in love" with Hank, she'd not sounded this happy.

They talked for hours, discussing everything from their kiss to what they ate, what they wore, and the care Jethro had taken to be sure everyone knew where they were. She told her Mom about his being patient while she took her time getting ready.

Fifteen days later she got a call that began with a squeal of joy.

"Jethro and I kissed at midnight!" Mary let loose with a girly cheer and danced about her kitchen. She'd been hoping to hear of the details of their date. This was fabulous start!

"What brought this on? Not that I'm gonna fuss over it!" Lydia could hear the smile her mother had. "How was it? Details, woman! Details!"

"He realized he loves me." She could practically hear her daughter blushing. "And it was wonderful."

"What is it you're not saying?"

"Will you come and give me away?" Nearly three hours of girl-talk followed from that question.


	68. Planning The Wedding

Disclaimer: Don't own it.

Note: Thanks to Headbanger Rockstar, my amazing beta.

Note: How do snowmen get around at Christmas? They ride icicles!

The Un-Gibbs women stood looking at rows and rows of dresses. Lydia wasn't sure of what she wanted, but it was here somewhere. She was sure of it.

"Ok, Mom, what color?" Lydia shrugged, her lip between her teeth.

"Not sure. Let's pick a style first." The girls grinned. Shopping. They could take hours. Weeks. This was a big thing. Their mom and dad were getting married.

The ladies started looking, and had been through an entire aisle before they were approached by a sales person. The young woman smiled at Abby and Ziva, sizing them up. She barely noticed Lydia, obviously thinking she was just along for the ride, and Sarah wasn't dressed well enough to have been a customer. No one comes shopping in jeans. Not if they're the bride, anyway. The girls exchanged a look. They were gonna have fun with this woman. Or at least Abby was. Sarah wasn't sure of what to say, beyond getting the customer help line and making a complaint.

"Hello! My name is Tracy! How can I help you?" She looked from Abby to Ziva, still ignoring Lydia and Sarah. Abby stepped forward so the lady would still be alive. Ziva was already going past annoyed.

"Hi. I'm Abby."

"Hi, Abby." The young woman beamed. "Do you know what you're looking for?"

"Sure do!" Abby grinned, turning to Lydia. "My Mom needs a dress." She turned back to the sales woman. "A wedding dress. And, I need for you to not ignore her."

Tracy had the good graces to apologize before leading them to dresses "more fit for middle aged brides." Ziva requested another sales person. She was already clenching her fists, and if she had to deal with another rude remark or snide comment, she would have come unglued.

A few moments later, Zachary came over. He was bubbly, talkative, and absolutely thrilled to have the ladies in a family all shopping together. He took them around to a wide variety of dresses, some of them white, some ivory or a light beige. Some were more modern, others were vintage. Several struck her fancy, but one caught her breath.

And it was that one that he had her try on first. It was a white satin dress with an Empire waist. The sleeves were short, the neck fell to just above her breasts. In itself, it was beautiful. But when it was added to the long train of white lace that fastened in the front and flowed down to the ground in a long train, nearly as long as the dress itself.

There was no need to try on another dress. She'd found the one. All three girls were thrilled, and Zachary made a wildly flirtatious comment, letting Lydia know that she was indeed beautiful beyond anything her fiance could imagine.

Now it was time for the girls' dresses. Lydia had fairly well decided on colors. She wanted sky blue and dusty rose. The styles would be a little tricky.

Zachary proved his worth once again when he helped Lydia choose the perfect style. The dresses he helped her find were of the same style as her wedding dress. They would be in alternating colors, the mens' cummerbunds matching the dresses.

"So, did you find your dress today?" Jethro stood at the counter breading chicken breasts. He had four already in the pan.

"We having everyone over for dinner?"

"Yeah, though we may." He smiled as he leaned over for a kiss.

"Sounds good." She initiated another kiss before moving away. "Did you call Avery yet?"

"Yeah, and Tim. Both guys are coming over." He bumped her shoulder with the back of his messy hand. "You've still not answered my question."

Lydia gave him a self-satisfied smirk. "And I'm not going to." Her smile grew. "Even if I found it, I'm not going to tell you. Because then you'll want to see it, and then you can't see it. Not until the wedding." He grumped.

"We've been through this before." He shrugged. "Those silly traditions shouldn't matter."

She stopped and stared at him. She was suddenly worried. He turned, completely confused.

"What?"

"Jethro, my first marriage was a farce." Tears stood in her eyes, and he felt like a heel. "I am actually in love with you, Jethro. I want all of those silly little things. I want the something old, something new, something borrowed something blue silliness. I want the tradition of you not seeing my dress until our wedding." Her voice broke. "I want what I didn't get when I settled for a jerk before."

"Ok," he pulled her close, tucking her head under his chin. "Ok. Every silly tradition you can think of." He gave up trying to keep his breaded hands off of her shirt. She'd just have to change.

"I'm sorry. I didn't think about them being so important to everything." He sighed, relaxing as she relaxed against him. "I'm just excited, and I want to be a part of everything. I want to be there for you." Her fingers entwined in his hair. All would be well.

One week later, Lydia and the girls were shopping once again. All three boys would need little tuxes. Abby and Ziva discussed it, and wanted to have tuxes they could save for their boys as keepsakes. Sarah wasn't as concerned with having one Jerry could keep, so his would be rented, but she would happily shop along with her sisters and mom.

None of the ladies had realized just how many different styles of tuxedo's there were. And with needing all of the tuxes to match, they needed to decide which they were going with. The one Lydia liked the best would look horrible with her dress, so that one was immediately nixed.

After much discussion and looking, she decided on a classic peaked full dress tuxedo with cummerbund and vest. The tuxedo's would be black, the vests a dark silver, and the cummerbunds would alternate, the same as the bridesmaids dresses.

Now to get the boys in to get measured. By the boys, they meant everyone. From LJ and Oded, to Tony, Tim, Jimmy, and the worst of all, Jethro. Abby had already sent a text to her husband to drag their dad along soon. He'd replied that he'd find a way to get out for coffee. And drag Gibbs with him.

The invitations had been the easiest part. Lydia had looked online, found a company that specialized in wedding invitations, picked her four favorites, had Jethro pick his favorite out of those, had him pick the date, which would coincide with his retirement. She had no idea why he chose that date, but it was only two weeks after his retirement. He'd just not shared his plans with her yet.

Now they needed flowers. With Abby as their resident "flower dictionary", it went far more smoothly than Lydia had anticipated. Tiny arbutus flowers to speak of happiness in love, red camellia to tell of unending joy and faithfulness, and the classic bridal rose simply for their beauty. The message was clear in all three flowers. And Abby had permission to tell her dad.

Jethro went willingly and got measured for his tux. He practiced tying his bow, making sure he could get it perfect. Tony snapped pictures more than once, grinning the whole time.

There was only two more weeks until their wedding. Her dress was hanging in her closet, the girls dresses and shoes were all hanging in her closet, as well, all of their shoes were dyed, and the kids were running bets on how long they could keep their parent's apart.

The Un-Gibbs children had laughed at first over the humorous decision to abstain until their marriage, even with the explanation that involved values, examples, and Jerry nearly reaching the dating age. Their kids had started a betting pool that night. The kissed they'd seen were way to hot to not lead anywhere.

So those with money on them failing and giving in tried to make time for them to be alone for hours every day, and those with money on them succeeding strove to keep them separated or not alone. Their parent's just laughed and stuck to their decision, no matter of how funny things got.

Two days before their wedding, Jethro and Lydia stood in the kitchen, locked in a tight embrace. Their breathing grew harder by the moment, before she broke away. Their kisses started to slow, and they separated completely.

"I need to head home." Yet as she spoke, she never moved further from his arms.

"You sure?"

"Yeah." She gave in to his searching lips once more.

"Only two more days." He ran his hands down her back and she shivered.

"I know." She smiled into his eyes. "I can't wait." They kissed again, his hands wandering into her hair as hers stroked down his chest. She stopped at his belt, her fingers curling around the top of it.

"If I don't go, I'm not going to." He nodded.

"If you don't go, I'll not let you."

Three minutes later, she was starting her car, heading down the road. As she pulled out, he stood in the shower. A very cold shower.


	69. I Do

Disclaimer: Don't own it. Despite my begging Santa, I didn't get it for Christmas.

Note: Many many many thanks to Headbanger Rockstar for being my beta, and for helping me so much this year. Love you more than I can say! !

Gibbs stood at the front of the church, his pulse racing. The morning had been full of preparations, of getting the kids ready, of getting the boat finished, and of racing to get to the church.

Tony and Tim had their hands full keeping the boys from getting their little tuxes dirty. Jethro had gotten ready, cutting himself only once while he shaved. He'd nervously buttoned his shirt wrong and had to re-button it twice.

The men were now devoid of two tiny tornadoes, as they were with Jerry and Sarah. Avery was waiting with the boys, as they would be last. Three ring bearers may have been a little much, but they couldn't imagine getting married without all three of their grandsons having a part. The few pews at the front were filled with their friends and some of Lydia's relatives. Jack sat proudly by Sarah, in an area saved for little boys should they become antsy up front. Avery would slip into a seat at the back once the little boys were started up the aisle.

Music started, and Gibbs watched as Tim and Abby entered. The couple walked slowly, measuring their steps. It amazed Gibbs just how long the aisle seemed. They reached the halfway point, and Tony and Ziva came next.

Abby kissed her Daddy's cheek before going to where she would stand as Matron of Honor. Tim stood to the side as his Second. Tony and Ziva reached their dad, and she also kissed his cheek.

Then came the couples three grandsons. The littlest ones each carried a silver pillow holding a single ring. Jerry walked with them, helping the two social butterflies reach their destination. Were it left to the two little boys, they'd never make it.

LJ was busy describing, very loudly, everything he saw. Tim at one point put his fingers to his lips and motioned to his son to shush. The precocious little tyke looked at his father in complete seriousness and stated, in an even louder voice, that Oded needed to know what was going on.

"Daddy, I gotta talk! Oded can't see! An he's missin' all da pretty gwirls!" Tony fist-pumped and Gibbs comically slapped the back of his head.

Those that knew the family well laughed, Lydia's family tittered nervously, except for Mary, who seemed ready to pass out from lack of oxygen. Lydia squeezed her mother's hand to focus her. Or trying to corral her own laughter. That point would be debated later.

The boys finally made it most of the way up the aisle after being pulled back on course many times as they tried to say hello to friends and family, showing off shoes to an amused Director and Mrs. Vance. LJ chatted the whole time, Oded responding when he needed, but mostly he listened as LJ told him about dresses pretty women wore, and the colors he saw, not that he understood them, but they seemed important. The visually-impaired child waved and smiled, not caring if he even knew who he waved to. He was delighted. And Jethro was too amused to even consider scolding them.

Lydia and her mother shared a look of love and delight as the bridal march began. Mary kissed her cheek, and the two ladies started up the aisle. Jethro felt his breath catch. He'd not seen her dress before, and all she'd said was that she was wearing her mothers' dress.

Her face was hidden by a light veil, so he took in the rest of her dress. It was as if snowflakes had fallen on her. Her dress was long sleeved, but was covered by a fine coating of lace. The bodice was pure white satin, the skirt looked to be the same, but the distance and the lace made it impossible to tell. He couldn't see the long train that followed, but he didn't care. Each move of her white slipper-clad feet brought her closer to him. Closer to their life together.

Mary knew her daughter was already completely focused on the man before them. Happiness seemed to radiate around her, unlike when she had married Hank. She'd been reserved that day. Mary was thrilled to see her daughter so happy to be joining her life with a good man. And his enormous family. Of course, it her joy had nothing to do with the three great-grandsons she was gaining. Or the five grandchildren.

They reached the front and the minister asked who gave Lydia to be married. Her mother proudly handed her daughter off to Jethro, a smile brightening her face through her tears.

"Her mother gives her to be married."

The two felt the world slip away. They knew Ziva was singing some song at Mary's request. It was an old standard about being best friends in love. They'd heard it many times before as Ziva practiced it. They'd even listened to it the night before at rehearsal. But today it was just air filler. Beautiful, but air filler.

Jethro closed his eyes at one point, completely wrapped in his emotions. His thumbs traced the backs of her hands. He sighed and opened his eyes. He mouthed "I love you". And his bride whispered it back.

They heard the admonitions of love, of how a wife was to serve her husband, and a husband was to care for his wife. They heard chuckles as LJ made faces at Jack and Oded danced silently to some tune in his head. They wandered from their cocoon long enough to light the unity candle and exchange vows.

"Do you, Leroy Jethro Gibbs, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

"I do." His voice cracked and his ears tinged pink for a moment. "I promise that I will be there for you, to love you, to keep safe and happy to the best of my ability for as long as we both live. I'll be yours through sickness and health, poverty and riches, arguments and frustrations. I am yours, body and soul."

"Do you, Lydia Gruber, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

"I do." She smiled up at him and began speaking. "I promise to love you, honor you, and care for you as long as we both live." She cleared her throat before continuing. "Through sickness, health, wealth, poverty, arguments, and misunderstandings. I love you."

"Then by the power vested in me by the state of Virginia, I now pronounce you man and wife."

The adults clapped and cheered, while LJ and Oded wailed. Tim and Tony scooped up the confused boys and asked them what was wrong as the newly married couple exchanged their first kiss.

Oded answered, and the entire church erupted into laughter, including Lydia and Jethro.

"Pop-pop married Gamma. Now they're gonna go away! Why Gamma hafta marry Pop-pop?" And the boys wailed again as the couple walked down the aisle. There was time for explaining it all later.

#######

The reception was small, by invitation only, and it was strictly family. Of course, the Gibbs Clan had a very loose term for family. Lydia insisted her family stick to the true definition of the word.

Rather than Lydia dance the first dance with her mother, Jack led his daughter-in-law to the floor, and Jethro his mother-in-law. He'd never had a mother-in-law he enjoyed before. However, he found he absolutely adored Mary. She was as quirky as her daughter, and her eyes danced with laughter that was never far from the surface.

Once they were passed from their respective parents, the two danced closely. Their children whistled and clapped when he spun her out and back, dipping her when she was once again in his arms. They looked over to their children's table and laughed as they saw their three grandsons peeking out at them from behind their hands.

Oded had his hands over his eyes, obviously receiving instructions from Avery when the giggling boys moved their hands. LJ covered his mouth, Jerry plugged his ears, and Oded kept his eyes covered. Tony and Ziva both snapped pictures.

When the first dances were over and everyone was dancing, the boys formed a triangle and danced wildly, only separating when dragged away for dances with their moms, aunts or new great-grandma.

Avery danced with Ziva, the two talking quietly. They shared a quick kiss before he left her on the dance floor. When he returned, he carried Oded and handed him off to his Mama. Avery then snapped a picture of them, completely unaware that they had drawn the attention of her parents. Lydia was thrilled to see the young man treating her daughter and grandson so well.

Lydia's family was very uptight, and didn't mix with Jethro's well. They were so determined that they had to be perfect. The antics during the wedding had been shocking, to say the least.

By the time they finally left en masse, the Gibbs Clan and Mallard Gaggle had decided they didn't like them. And for Ducky, Jimmy, Breena, and Abby to dislike anyone was saying a lot.

Their grown children had disappeared one by one, returning so another could leave, all reception long. They had no idea what the kids were doing, but Gibbs vowed that if they destroyed his car, he'd be up for parole in 20 years. And he was sorry, but Lydia would be raising their grandchildren alone.

She'd laughed and told him that he'd better not. She wanted her honeymoon. Jethro had just grinned.

######

They cut the cake, and fed one another. They were sort of careful. To not get it on her dress, anyway. Past that, all bets were off. She'd been so uptight at her first wedding that she'd not done any of the goofy traditions, and Jethro hadn't done any of them since his marriage to Shannon.

Today was the day. Literally wiping the slates of their pasts clean and starting a new life together. He reminded himself of that when he was picking crumbs from his hair. At least he had the satisfaction of knowing she'd have to shower. He kept his evil grin to himself.

#########

When they left, Jethro stopped short as he looked at his beautiful Charger. Grimacing, he pulled out his pocketknife. Lydia shook her head. Even on their wedding day. The Rules.

There had to be at least ten layers of saran wrap on their car. Fifteen minutes after he started, he was finally finished cutting it all away. He opened the door for Lydia, and she slid in. As soon as she sat, a loud, long burst of air flowed. She turned beet red. She had not passed gas. Gibbs quirked an eyebrow at her.

Tony and Abby laughed, high five included. Gibbs chuckled and shut the door on his new bride. Leave it to those two troublemakers to think of a whoopee cushion.

Back at the house, Lydia headed upstairs with her mother and daughters to carefully remove and pack away the dress. Jethro already had a comfortable outfit in the guest room. He changed quickly and headed downstairs. He heard the laughter from the women in his life float down, and shook his head. He was in trouble, and he knew it.

And he couldn't have been happier.


	70. Voyages of the Heart

Disclaimer: Still don't own it.

Note: As always, Headbanger Rockstar is my amazing beta! You rock, Dude! ptbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb!

Note: This is the T rated honeymoon. I've had several requests for an M rated one, and it will be posted, but it'll be a separate story, named UnGibbs Honeymoon. How original, huh?

Lydia and Jethro had exchanged their vows only hours before. They'd had their reception, and finally got the boys to understand that Grandpa and Grandma weren't moving away. They hoped they understood, anyway. With them, you never knew.

Jethro had packed their bags in his car earlier that day, after McGee dropped off Lydia's. None of the kids wanted to believe it, but the older couple had yet to consummate their relationship. They'd discussed it, and decided that they didn't want to do something they'd later be telling their grandsons to not do.

She'd changed out of her wedding dress while he was down in the basement. Abby and Ziva had been there to help her, carefully putting her dress into a storage bag. Jethro had then come up the stairs, not sure if he should go in. His daughters were in there, and he didn't want to embarrass himself. Or Lydia.

He heard the girls giggling. That was bound to be bad. For him, at least.

He and his new wife were finally ready to go. The family stood outside on the porch, little ones up in arms, and bid them good bye. They waved and pulled out of the drive, headed to the wharf. The boat he had finished only last month waited for them.

He'd stocked it with wine, steaks, potatoes, all sorts of vegetables that she'd have griped if he'd forgotten, hamburger, and bourbon. He and Tony had carried a queen sized mattress into the bulkhead, and he'd been teased mercilessly by his son ever since. Even head-slaps hadn't stopped the one liners.

#####

"Jethro," she breathed, her hand grasping his when she saw the boat. "It's beautiful." He'd grinned.

"See, I told you it'd be better as a surprise."

Indeed, she had never seen the boat turned right side up and completely finished. He had carved great detail into the roof and rails. She looked at where he had carved the boat's name, and her eyes misted. In the beautiful blonde wood were the names of their grandsons. "LJ and Oded un-Gibbs".

He walked behind her, carrying the bags. He set them down and wrapped his arms about her.

"It'll be their boat one day."

"It's beautiful." She turned in his arms and rewarded him with a kiss.

####

They set sail almost twenty minutes later. Their bags were settled into the cupboards, most of them unpacked. Lydia was still down in the bulkhead when he shoved off.

They were sailing down to Florida. No destination in mind, but they would decide what to do once they reached Florida. Or close to it. Or wherever. But Florida was the farthest they would sail.

She joined him on deck again, standing by him as he steered them out of port. He took her in his arms, pulling her directly in front of him.

"Here." He put her hands under his, teaching her to guide their boat. They stood in silence, both looking out at the open water, lost in thought.

She leaned farther back, until she rested on his chest, her body meshing perfectly with his. He leaned his head forward, laying his head against hers.

"I love you, Mrs. Gibbs." She sighed and reached back over her shoulder, stroking his cheek.

"I love you, Mr. Gibbs." He let go of her hands and the helm, wrapping his arms about her.

He pressed his palms against her belly, massaging gently as he worked his way up in small circles. Her breath caught when he cupped her breasts for the first time. He sighed deeply and pushed his body closer to hers. They stood like that for several more minutes, when he reached around her and tied the wheel. He let go of her completely and dropped the anchor.

Holding his hand out to her, he stood by the door to the bulkhead. She smiled and took his hand, walking down the five steps before him. She turned and waited while he shut the door.

#####

Two hours later, they lay curled around one another. Bodies slicked with sweat, pulses still slowing. Their mouths still battled for dominance, she knowing she would give in to him, but also knowing he liked this. She released him first, looking down at him from where she had raised up to her elbows.

Her hand ran down his chest, stroking the soft pelt of gray hair that was beginning to dry. They smiled to one another, and he pulled her back down to nestle against his chest. Both were asleep moments later.

#####

When they rose for dinner, he asked her to wear only his tee shirt. She blushed, but obliged. He wore only his jeans. They cooked together, he working on the steaks, while she prepared the rest of the meal.

He nearly came undone when she asked him to try one of the side dishes. He came over, expecting a spoon, but instead was fed from her hand, which he licked clean and kissed her palm. She shuddered, and he picked up a bite, offering it to her. Her lips wrapped around his fingers, and he forgot all about the steaks.

#####

Three days later, they called and talked to the kids. They called Tony first, to see how he was doing physically. He'd been staying with Jack, and Jethro was worried that he'd try to do too much in the way of helping Grandpa. Tony was fine, and he was obviously anxious to get off the phone, especially when Jack, who was having the time of his life making the worldly Anthony DiNozzo blush, asked them how everything was going, and how they were like the rhythm of the waves. They'd laughed as Tony fairly squeaked his farewell.

Next was Ziva. She and Oded were doing well. Oded was talkative in the background, but when put to the phone, he became shy. Grandpa and Grandma talked to him, and he blushed and hid his head in Mama's shoulder, answering from the safety of her arms. He finally giggled and gave them a very loud "Wuv you!"

Abby and Tim were last. LJ heard the magic words Grandpa and Grandma, and the phone was in his tiny hands as he jabbered away. Lydia and Jethro laughed as he told them of his adventures, none of which they could really understand, but all of which got impressive replies. Tim finally rescued the phone from his son and bid the Gibbs' good bye, telling them to have a great time. He hung up before they could tell him how wonderful of a time they were having.

####

They arrived in Florida and lay on the beach for a bit. It was a week day, so not too many people were out. It began raining later in the day, so they happily retreated to their cabin. When the waves began to be a little rougher from the storm, they couldn't tell if it was the ocean, or them. Neither did they care.

They spent two days roaming tourist traps buying presents for their babies. Both boys got shirts reading "My Grandpa went to Florida, and all I got was this lousy T-shirt". Lydia was the guilty party. Jethro just chuckled and showed his purchase. Two T-shirts which read "I'm Grandma's Favorite."

####

They sailed back to D.C. and arrived late at night. Rather than drive home, they spent one more night on the boat. They woke at dawn and drove home, dragging themselves tiredly up to bed. They may have stayed the night, but there was no sleeping.

They had had a shower, they were dressed finally, and cuddled together in bed. Jethro held her from behind, her head resting on his arm. His other arm was secure about her waist. She started to laugh, and he asked her why.

"Once the boys are old enough to know what a honeymoon is and understand what we did in there, they're never gonna want to sail again."

Jethro couldn't help it. He laughed. Loud and long, all the while holding his most precious possession in his arms.


	71. Pondering Life and Change

Disclaimer: Don't own it.

Note: Thanks to my fabulous beta, Headbanger Rockstar! Love ya! ptbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb!

Note: Please review and tell me what you think... I've got two versions of this story and how to finish it... so please tell me where you want it to go! Thanks!

Lydia had been Mrs. Gibbs for exactly one month today. Her life was full and happy. She had grown children, she had grandchildren she absolutely adored, and a husband who was smart enough to know they didn't need to be joined at the hip. He gave her a chance to miss him by escaping to his basement. She had no idea what he was making down there, but he seemed glad to have his space.

He'd come up for lunch, sometimes bringing Tony up with him, sometimes the younger man was out with one of his siblings, sometimes he was spending time at his foundation. But if he and Jethro were home, they were together in the basement. Tony had become as addicted to woodworking as his Dad.

Today all of the guys were out for breakfast. Jethro, Tony, Tim, Ducky, Palmer, and Ziva's long time boyfriend, Avery. The man had taken to Oded from the beginning, and people often thought he was the child's dad when they were out. He seemed to be here for the long haul. Ziva was happy, Oded snuggled with him as much as he did with his beloved Grandpa and Uncle Tony. In other words, if he was snuggly, he went to Mama first, and then it was a toss-up.

They had been together for nearly seventeen months, which was a huge thing for Ziva. Her relationships usually lasted weeks. Some weren't even relationships. They had been a series of ill-fated dates. Then she met Avery. Even Jethro liked him. Grudgingly, but he liked him.

Her mind wandered to the news Abby had surprised them with. The younger couple was expecting again. She was so happy for them. And so sad at the same time, that while she had an amazing family, her former husband had robbed her of the chance to have babies of her own.

She found herself wondering how things would have gone between she and Jethro if she had brought a child of her own to the mix. She wondered if he would be willing to try for a baby. Then she laughed at herself. How ridiculous!

She was nearing her 44th birthday, Jethro was 56, and she'd started menopause. All of those factors were stacked against her. Besides, she'd not been able to conceive again after her only miscarriage, and her cycles were getting more and more irregular.

Lydia wondered briefly how her husband would react if she did get pregnant. They'd not been using any sort of birth control, but neither felt it was necessary. She wiped a tear from her eye.

Sometimes she felt so inadequate. She was the typical barren woman she'd heard her grandmother go on and on about when she was a teenager. Her grandmother had a whole litany of hatred that she spewed out every chance she got regarding women who weren't seen fit by God to have children.

When she'd miscarried for the first time, the bitter old woman had come in, glared at her granddaughter and began to spew her poison. Mary had quickly shuffled the woman out of the room and had spent the next week soothing her daughter. Lydia attended her funeral for the sake of her mother, but that was all.

She allowed her tears to fall. She wept, finally telling her grandmother off. She spoke out her anger at the bitter woman's words. She spoke out the shame that had followed her from her miscarriage. She wept as she came to grips with her past.

She released the pain she'd kept bottled inside, the pain that screamed for acquittal of a crime she didn't commit. She ended up in a pile on the floor, but once the tears stopped, she felt free. Settled. She didn't feel weighted down.

Lydia rose to her feet, listening for a moment. The house was still quiet. Good. She'd not want to have to explain all of this to her husband.

Allowing herself one more moment of "what if's", she stood before the mirror looking at herself. She wondered what she'd look like pregnant.

If she'd stay skinny, or get fat, or if she'd forever have saggy boobs afterward. She wondered if Jethro would find her attractive as she grew large. She tilted her head to the side, looking at herself critically. Then she sighed and started the shower. She'd wasted enough time. If she didn't get a shower soon, she'd not be ready to go when Jethro got home.

And she'd not want to miss a big swap-meet like this one promised to be. A few minutes later, she regretted not having breakfast. She was a little lightheaded, which was nothing unusual. She and heat and low blood sugar had never been friends.

Jethro came home, leaving Tony out with Avery and Tim. They were going to the new Bond movie, and the girls were going to the park with the kids. He walked up the stairs and into the room he now shared with his wife.

She was sound asleep, the towel she wrapped her hair in still laying on the floor by the bed. He slipped under the covers by her, slowing his breath to match hers. He wrapped his arm over her, tugging her to his chest, and slept.

When Lydia woke, she wondered at first why Jethro hadn't gone to breakfast yet. Then she realized it was late. He must have curled back up with her when he got home.

"You ok?" His voice was quiet.

"Yeah, got tired, so I laid down. Sorry, didn't mean to fall asleep."

"S'ok." He kissed her neck. "Had a good breakfast."

"Yeah?"

"Hm." He sighed and kissed her again. "Avery asked if he could marry Ziva." Lydia twisted in his arms. Her smile was absolutely radiant.

"You said yes, didn't you?"

"You bet." He grinned. "I'll never tell him, but I couldn't have found a better husband for my little girl." Lydia poked his ribs. "No, I didn't set them up."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, Dad." She laughed as he rolled her under him as he tickled her sides. "Heard that one before." She shrieked. "Jethro! Knock it off!" Laughter rang through the house.


	72. Avery Proposes

Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS.

Note: Thanks to my fabulous beta, Headbanger Rockstar! Love you sooooo much! ptbbbbbbbbb!

Note: Hang on to your potatoes, people! lol It's gonna get interesting!

Avery sat reading a book to Oded, the feisty preschooler kicking his legs in absolute boredom. This wasn't one of his fun books with sounds and textures. This was a boring as crap book with only words. Sometimes these books were fun, but other times, like today, they weren't.

He was going to visit Pop-pop and Gamma. And Mama was taking her good old sweet time. Oded was certain she'd said she needed to use the potty over an hour ago. Seriously. How long could it take? Was she painting her face again?

Oded wasn't a fan of the face paint Mama used. It smelled kinda like baby powder, came off on his hands when he was "looking" at her, and she took forever to get it "just right". And the way Daddy sighed when she went to paint her face, let him know his Daddy didn't like it, either.

There was another thing that confused Oded. His Daddy wasn't his Daddy? He had to call him Uncle Av'wy. But he wasn't his uncle. Mama didn't kiss Uncle Tim, or Uncle Tony, or even Uncle Palmer like she kissed Uncle Av'wy. And other people would call him Daddy, and Avery would chuckle and just say, "maybe one day."

Adults were so confusing. And who cared about green eggs on a train when he was waiting to go to Pop-pop and Gamma's house? Oded didn't. He cared about getting to Pop-pop's house. Pop-pop let him do things Mama and Uncle Av'wy would never let him do. Like have ice cream with lunch.

Gamma wouldn't let him do it, either, so they waited until Gamma was busy. And then Pop-pop would take him and LJ and a big bowl of ice cream, and they'd sit at the table, being extra quiet so Gamma didn't catch them. She did catch them one time, and oh, the fuss she made! Who cared if ice cream spoiled dinner! It's ice cream! Dinner is vegetables! Ice cream wins!

Ziva came out of her bedroom, all ready to go. She loved this new house where she had a bathroom just off of her bedroom. Life was so much easier, and she didn't have to worry so much about making sure everything was put away in an exact spot. In Oded's bathroom, as in the rest of the house, everything had its place.

Dining room chairs always got pushed in, coffee tables and lamps never moved, and toys were kept neatly, returning to their assigned spot when he was done with them. The order and exactness sometimes drove her nuts, as she wanted to just let him run and play like LJ was able to do, but this system was enabling him to be independent. Oded could get his own toys, he could go all over the house and not run into things, and the biggest thing for Ziva, was that he could be safe in his exploring.

Her son was her life, her crowning glory, as it were. She loved her job, and she loved her house. She had a nice car which she was grateful for and drove calmly these days. She had friends, family, and the occasional visit from her quirky neighbor. All of those things were important to her. However, not one of them came close to her son.

Avery hadn't noticed her yet, so she took a minute to just watch and listen. Oded was tugging on his hair, then his shirt. She was certain that had she not told him about going to Pop-pop's and Gamma's that he would have been sitting in rapt attention. He absolutely loved Dr. Seuss. Anything Dr. Seuss. Especially when Avery read it with his many silly voices.

She tilted her head, just listening. Today, he was reading Green Eggs and Ham, which meant he was using his "deep" Sam-I-Am voice, and his "high" voice for the unnamed character. Ziva wasn't sure she wanted to admit it, but she had fallen in love with Avery. Several times, she'd caught herself daydreaming of marriage, perhaps another child, which of course, was out of the question. With her past, she would be automatically be banned from adopting. It was only by the strange fortune from her father that she even had Oded.

Avery was perfect in so many ways. He loved Oded, and she wondered if sometimes he could love her, as well. He doted on her son, taking care of him when she had to work weekends. Many of their dates were "family" dates, where they would go to restaurants or parks with the boy. He had been there for most of the major events in Oded's life.

But fear settled deep within her. The man currently reading to her son loved children. He wanted a large family, his mother had told her that when she'd spent the day with them. The women had talked while the guys played catch as Oded napped. His mother had not used those exact words, but she said things about Avery being adopted, and how they wanted to take in another child, but couldn't, and how difficult it was at times for Avery to be an only child. They had adopted him when he was ten, and had been thrilled to have parents who didn't abuse him, but he missed having other kids to play with, like when he was in foster care.

She had told Ziva she was proud of her for taking in a child who was from a family she had before hated, that it showed a special type of love, of understanding. Phyllis had been gracious, and Ziva had nearly cried when the woman told her how happy she was to see her son smiling. She'd said that after all of the conversation about Avery being adopted, and how being an only child was hard for him. Ziva was torn, but knew she'd treasure every moment she had with him until he decided to move on.

For surely, he'd never want an ex-assassin with a son who wasn't even hers by birth who couldn't give him any more children. They'd discussed Somalia, and he had cried with her and for her as she spoke her horrors. He'd stayed for the first time that night, making her forget her scarred body, and showing her pleasures she'd missed.

The story ended, and Avery turned Oded in his lap, whispering something in his ear. Whatever it was was happy, as Oded began to laugh, clapping his hands. Avery kissed his cheek, letting the boy return the favor with a sloppy rendition of his own.

"I'm ready." She spoke softly, but her boyfriend was on his feet immediately. He looked her up and down, her son sitting on his hip. A blush stole across her cheeks as he continued to stare.

"You're beautiful." He walked toward her, his eyes still roaming over her figure. When he kissed her, she felt the love pouring from him, and nearly melted into his arms. Oh, how she hoped this could last forever. Pushing all of her fears and doubts aside, she went to the car with him, getting in while he buckled "their" boy into his seat.

Her Dad had exchanged a very meaningful look with Avery, and the younger man had nodded, a look that resembled fear in his eyes. Gibbs had nodded, Lydia had said her usual, "Jethro, be nice", and they had been on their way again.

Avery held her hand, absently stroking her fingers.

"What are we going to do today?"

"I thought we'd head to a little spot for a salad."

"Oh? Feeling leafy today?" He just looked to her and smiled.

Once they arrived to the restaurant he'd chosen, they walked in, and he requested a certain table. Ziva recognized it immediately as the one she and Oded had shared the night they had met Avery. Her gut began to churn. Had their relationship gone full-circle, and he was ending it where it had begun?

Avery saw a sadness creep into her eyes, and decided that instead of waiting until they'd finished their meals, he would say his piece now. He could almost feel her insecurity, and it mirrored his own. He was terrified she'd say no. She and her son were doing so well, and they really didn't need him. Sure, she loved him, and he was sure Oded loved him, but that didn't necessarily translate into loving him enough to spend the rest of her life at his side.

"Ziva?" His voice cracked, and he cleared his throat.

"Yes?"

"Um, I brought you here today, because, well, I'm going about this all wrong." He smirked, hoping he wasn't going to totally screw this up. "Almost two years ago, I looked up from my dinner and saw the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen talking with her son. I, um, I remember a thought flashing through my mind that I'd just met my future." He blushed and took her hand again. "I'm getting this all wrong. I'm so sorry. I'm in love with you, Ziva, and it started here. Right here at this table where I first saw you and Oded."

She was unaware of holding her breath, but she felt the tears track down her face. He wasn't leaving them. He was staying. She just knew it.

"He's an amazing kid, Ziva, an amazing boy that any man would be proud to claim as his son, and I'd like to do that. I want to spend my life showing you how much I love you. I don't want to go home to an empty apartment at night anymore after talking with you all day, and playing with him. I want to spend my years in your arms, and have you spend yours in mine." He was rambling, and he knew it, but the words were flowing on their own, special rehearsed speech be damned.

"I want to ask you to marry me, Ziva." His eyes met hers, and he was surprised at the joy on her face. "I know I don't have much to offer, and..." He was silenced as her lips met his.

"Yes, Avery, I'll marry you." The young man pulled out a simple gold ring with an Israeli cut diamond.

"I'm sorry it's not as nice as Abby's or your Mom's, but it's..."

"What you could afford." She smiled at him. "A diamond is nothing more than compressed coal." He grinned. His fiance was incredible. "Why would I want you to go into debt for shiny dirt?" He kissed her. "Besides, if I know you, you saved for months." He blushed and nodded.

"Six months, actually."

"Thank you." She checked out the ring now sitting on her finger. "How did you now my size?"

"I asked Tony." Ziva laughed.

"Now, what do you want Oded to call you?" Avery beamed when he gave his answer.

Two hours later, when they went to her parent's house to pick up Oded, the couple held their fingers up to their mouths, silencing her mother's excitement. The older woman bit her lip, practically bouncing. She saw the ring on her daughter's hand. But she'd not destroy this moment for anything.

Ziva went to her son and took him from his Pop-pops arms, where he was currently ensconced listening to a story. The boy was heavy lidded, obviously fighting sleep. His Pop-pop had that kind of special magic. And at nap-time, it was amazing.

Oded yawned and snuggled into his Mama. His hand toyed with her fingers, as he usually did. His brow furrowed as he encountered the ring on her finger, but he didn't rouse much.

"Yes, Oded. I have a ring now." Ziva kissed his cheek. "Uncle Avery is going to be Daddy now. Is that ok?" The tired boy nodded, slipping off into oblivion. Avery was a little disappointed, but he also knew that when his boy slept, the kid was out.

"Ziva, I'm so happy for you!" Lydia came up and hugged her little girl, inspecting her ring. "It's beautiful." Ziva blushed.

"Yes, it is." Avery took his little boy from his fiance, winking to her. She and her Mom had a lot to talk about. Ziva fairly drug her to the kitchen. Jethro chuckled as he watched them go.

"It went well, I assume?"

"Yeah." Avery laughed at himself. "I was stumbling so bad, I was sure she was gonna say no."

"Not a chance." Gibbs smirked. "I'm happy for you, but the warning still stands."

"Mr. Gibbs, I'd never do anything to hurt her."

"I know. I'm a dad. I'm gonna warn ya. And don't you think it's time to call me Dad? Gibbs? Time to drop the Mister? After all, you're marrying my baby girl."

Oded slept on Avery's shoulder for a few more minutes before he popped awake. He felt the face before him, a huge smile on his face. He squealed. "Daddy!"


	73. Tiny Miracles of Life

Disclaimer: Don't own it.

Note: Thanks to Headbanger Rockstar for betaing my story! Love ya! ptbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb!

Note: I am not a doctor! Don't claim to be! Some medical stuff may be off... I looked stuff up on line... and had a sister-in-law go through this... learned some, but I'm no expert or doctor.

#######

Lydia kissed Jethro before crawling out of bed. She and the girls were going out to breakfast before they went dress shopping. Ziva had fallen in love with a couple of dresses when they were looking for dresses for Lydia and Gibbs' wedding.

She stood too quickly and the room spun. She sat back down quickly.

"You ok?"

"Yeah. Just got up too fast."

"You've been doing that a lot lately."

"I know." She was annoyed, and it came through her voice. "I'll make a doctor's appointment Monday." Jethro was already behind her, rubbing her shoulders.

"If you're lightheaded, I'd rather Abby or Ziva picked you up."

"We're gonna take the van. Sarah's coming here, and then we're gonna go get Abby, then Ziva."

"Ok. Let the girls drive."

"Yes, Jethro." He pulled her back against him.

"Hey, not trying to be a pain in your ass. Just want to keep you safe. What if you get dizzy behind the wheel?" Lydia sighed heavily and nodded.

#####

The girls had a blast giggling over breakfast. Abby was having a bit of morning sickness, not much, but enough to ruin her first hour awake. Ziva was on cloud nine, Sarah was exhausted from a long week at work, and Lydia was a little shaky. Perfect recipe for girl talk, giggles, jokes about off-color things, and discussions of their men and bizarre things in the bedroom.

They were all red-faced from laughing by the time their meals arrived. They went on a run of laughter about the men's morning bathroom noises. McGee cleared his throat until he hawkered. Gibbs usually coughed and groaned as he readied for the shower. Lydia just laughed when she started to talk about how he dug at his boxers on the way to the bathroom. Ziva actually snorted at that. Avery did the same thing. Tony was the worst. He did it all. And all of the girls had witnessed it at one point or the other. Especially his singing in the shower.

When they got to the store, Lydia was already exhausted, but she was excited to shop. Zachary was thrilled to help them again, cheering and doing a funny dance after he looked at Ziva's ring. He stopped long enough to wink at Sarah.

"I'd love to help find dresses for another wedding." His voice was sing-songing, and the ladies laughed while Sarah waved her hands in front of her.

"Oh, no." She laughed. "That would mean I'd have to find a boyfriend."

"Oh, Honey, I could so hook you up." The ladies laughed again.

They spent four hours looking through everything, finding colors, dresses, making sure that everything was available, and Zachary was there the whole way.

"So when is the wedding?"

"Six months." Ziva blushed as he whistled.

"We're being impatient, are we?" The girls went off in peals of laughter again, thankful they had found such a friendly and helpful salesman. He made searching easy and fun.

They were ready for lunch, and on the way, Lydia got dizzy. Sarah figured it was low blood-sugar, and handed her a piece of candy. Minutes later, she was feeling a bit better. She didn't want to tell her girls that this was the second time today.

#######

Jethro was dressing as Lydia showered. They'd slept in that morning. He smirked to himself. Sleeping in was so much more fun these past few months. A thud startled him, and he raced into the bathroom. It sounded like his wife had fallen.

Sure enough, the water was running, yet she was laying haphazardly against the curtain, her weight pulling the curtain taut.

"Lydia!" He frantically pushed the curtain aside. She began to wake, confused as to why she was on the floor. She met his eyes, and her confusion grew.

"What happened?" He had her bundled up and headed to Bethesda in minutes.

The doctor came in and talked with them after running several tests. At first, they were dumbfounded.

"It'll be fine, Honey."

"How, Jethro?" She cried. "I can't have a baby! I'll be 44 in a month."

"Yeah, and I'm pushing 57." He sighed and kissed her. She started to giggle. "What?"

"He or she is gonna take us to school for show and tell." She laughed, mimicking LJ's speech. "Dish ish my Daddy. An dish ish a wiver shpot. Mommy shaysh it'sh cuz himsh owd." Even Gibbs had to laugh at that.

Lydia made an appointment later that day for her gynecologist. She could get in to see the doctor in one short week. Jethro went with her, and they sat nervously together waiting for the doctor to come in. He had reassured her multiple times that he was thrilled that they were having a baby.

The doctor came in and smiled warmly at them.

"Congratulations." Jethro felt his heart swell with those words. It was real. "When was your last cycle?" And so the questions began. They figured out that with the timing of her last cycle, their little bundle must have been conceived some time during their honeymoon. Which made her three months.

The doctor shook his head when she told him of her hot flashes, and how she'd been told by her GP that she was in the early stages of menopause. He proceeded to explain how women were still fertile at the early stages.

He wanted to do an ultrasound to check on the baby since Lydia would be experiencing a high-risk pregnancy given her age and the miscarriage she'd already had.

Gibbs sat by his wife, her hand held tightly in his as the doctor spread gel on her abdomen and held the wand to her belly. She wrapped her other hand around his when the doctor turned up the volume and they heard their baby's heart beat. He bent down and kissed her. The happy glow in his eyes told her all that his lips would never know how to say.

As soon as they were out of the office, Lydia was on the phone with her mother. The two women talked and giggled, dragging Jethro into their conversation. More than once, he'd gone completely red with what they said. He had no idea they could be so racy. He'd always missed the girl talk before.

#####

They were laying in bed later that night, cuddled close together. Gibbs held her close, kissing her from time to time, chuckling when she complained that she couldn't return the favor due to her position.

"When should we tell the kids?" Jethro's voice was a whisper.

"I think as soon as we can." She could hear the smile he wore. "I'd call them tonight if I thought you'd let me."

"No, Goofball. We'll wake the babies." Jethro laughed at his wife. He'd never seen her so excited.

"Fine. We'll wait until the morning. Crack of dawn, I'm calling." Lydia chuckled, but quickly sobered.

"What if I lose this baby, Jethro?" Her voice caught, and he curled tighter into her, holding her firmly.

"Then we'll deal with the loss together, Sweetheart." He kissed her neck. "I love you, and I will continue to love you. No matter what, I'll love you." They were silent for a long time, both lost in thought.

"Do you want a boy or girl?" Her voice was quiet in the darkness. She wasn't even sure he was still awake. His arms tightened around her slightly.

"I don't know. I'd like a boy to carry on my family name, but I'd also like a girl." He was quiet for a moment. "I guess I don't really care. I want healthy."

"Me, too." She chuckled. "Maybe a boy. We've already got everything we'd need for a boy. With a girl, we'd have to do more shopping."

"No we wouldn't." Gibbs chuckled. "You and the girls would go shopping. I'd just stay out of the way and say "yes, Dear.""

The next morning, when the sun was up, Jethro smiled down at his still sleeping wife. He knew she wouldn't wake up early, no matter how excited she was. He'd watched her go from the energetic woman he married to a sleepy, wanting to be energetic woman that just couldn't stay awake. Now that it made sense, he found it endearing. Before, he'd just worried.

He called his Dad, knowing the older man would be awake. When his dad answered, he was already in the hall, headed down to drink the last of yesterday's coffee. He broke into a wide smile as the two men talked. Jack was beyond excited. Jethro hadn't called the evening before because Lydia had been on the phone with Mary, and when they hung up, Jack was in bed for hours already. He wasn't the night-owl Mary was.

He settled back into the covers and matched his breathing to hers. Soon, he felt his eyelids grow heavy again. Without thinking about it, he moved his hand to protectively cover her womb. When she woke later, she smiled as she looked at her sleeping husband. His eyes fluttered open, and she met his gaze. A beautiful smile covered his face as he leaned in to kiss her.

It was quite a while later before they got up and headed for the shower. She showered while he brushed his teeth and shaved, and then they switched places. He helped her dress, yet for all of his helping, it took far longer than if she'd "dressed" alone.

"We should call the kids." Jethro said this as he poured his first cup of fresh coffee. He expected his wife to answer, but the sound of vomiting was not what he wanted to hear. She was bent over the kitchen trashcan, which he hadn't put a liner in yet after taking the trash out the night before.

"What can I do, Lydia?" He spoke as he started to get a rag out of the drawer.

"Coffee."

"You want coffee? I don't think that..."

"No, coffee." And she heaved again. His eyes flew wide and he dumped the pot as quickly as he could. Shit.

He waited until she was sure she was done, and helped her up the stairs. Tony was just waking up, and Jethro asked him to wash out the trashcan. Tony's lip curled, but he headed to go do as asked. He wasn't sure why the coffee was dumped out, but he wasn't about to make a new pot until the carafe was washed. Looked mighty suspicious to him.

Gibbs got Lydia situated in bed once again after brushing her teeth. He promised to bring her tea and toast. She smiled weakly, not wanting to dash his helpfulness by telling him that the thought of tea churned her stomach.

He kissed her forehead and headed downstairs, where Tony was fastidiously scrubbing the coffee pot.

"Don't make that." Gibbs voice was laced with humor.

"What? Why?" Tony was thoroughly confused.

"Coffee makes Mom sick." Jethro shrugged.

"Explain?" Gibbs grinned and took out a cup and started to heat water. Tony watched as his dad made two cups of tea, one of them loaded with sugar.

"When your Mom is feeling better, we'll talk." Gibbs winked and popped two pieces of toast into the toaster, and when they popped, he put them completely dry on a plate. "Nothings wrong, Tony. Just, well, things are different."

Different. Gibbs left the kitchen, and Tony started to worry. Things changing could be a good thing, or a bad thing. Especially if Lydia was sick.

He fairly tiptoed up the stairs and stood at his parent's door. He knocked on the frame, as the door stood wide open, revealing Lydia leaning against the headboard with Jethro sitting next to her. They looked up to their son, both smiling. They'd just been having a mock argument over names. Jethro had thrown out the terrifyingly dated name of Opal, so Lydia retaliated with Valeria.

"What is it, Tony?" Lydia motioned for him to come in.

"Are you ok? I mean..." Tony fumbled his words.

"I'm fine, Sweetie." Lydia beamed, glancing over to her husband, who nodded. "Come in for a sit."

"Ok." He came and sat at the end of the bed. This conversation was completely boggling his mind.

"Your Dad and I," Lydia blushed furiously, and Tony felt the urge to run. He didn't know why, but he did. He forced his legs into compliance with his brain and sat. "You're Dad and I are having a baby."

"What?" He looked back and forth between them. A knot grew in his chest. He wasn't sure if he was happy, sad, or terrified. He settled for confused.

"We're having a baby, Tony." His Dad smiled broadly at him, but it faded to a concerned frown. "What's wrong?"

"I don't know how to feel." Tony knew that he'd have to talk this out sometime, so he might as well get it done now.

"What are you feeling? Are you happy, sad, confused, angry? Tell me." Jethro's voice was calm. He knew Tony would come around eventually, or he hoped he would, at least.

"I'm scared, and happy, and sad, and I guess a little mad." He shrugged. It sounded so stupid. Here they were, sharing the greatest news of their lives, and he was worried about how he'd handle living on his own again.

"Ok, let's start with the scared. What are you scared about?" Tony felt tears burn in his eyes.

"I'm not sure I can live on my own, I'm better, but not that much better yet." He shrugged. "And you'll want the house and privacy, and Mom'll be busy with the baby, and I need to start doing more laundry, and..." He slipped into talking faster and faster, panic taking over.

He wasn't aware that his Dad had moved. "Hey." A gentle hand on his knee startled him and he looked up into his Dad's blue eyes. He swallowed hard and realized he was trembling.

"I'm sorry. I'm selfish, and I'm a jerk." He went to stand, but a hand on his shoulder stopped him.

"Tony?" He looked to his Mom. "We'd never ask you to move out. Even with this new baby, you're welcome here. That hasn't changed, and it won't change. Not unless you choose to move."

The three of them sat discussing his emotions until he had sorted them out. A smile crossed his features, growing until it seemed to completely take over. He knew a head-slap was coming, and that he'd deserve it, but he couldn't resist.

"Way to go, Old Boy! We figured you'd be shooting blanks by now!" He stood and ran to his room, shutting the door forcefully behind him, leaning on it as he laughed. His Dad stood outside, his face red with embarrassment, while Lydia laughed so hard tears streamed down her cheeks.

Gibbs called the rest of his family over after making Tony promise to not tell his siblings. Or his nephews. His son grudgingly promised. He'd call his friends. One of them could tell his sisters and brother. That earned him another head-slap amid laughter.

When the other Gibbs Kids arrived, Jethro asked them to sit in the living room. Lydia sat smiling in her rocker. She'd been up and made sure the house was clean, she'd gone grocery shopping and done laundry. And now she was exhausted.

Once their family was seated, Jethro and Lydia shared a look, and Lydia nodded. Gibbs cleared his throat and asked for their attention. Silence fell over the room, and 9 pairs of eyes focused on the couple. Tony squirmed, and the huge smile on his face was unmistakable.

"You know why they called us?" Tony nodded, but refused to answer.

"He's sworn to secrecy, Abby." Jethro smiled and looked to Lydia, who took over.

"Don't get mad at him for not telling you that miracles happen." Her smile grew. "Your Dad and I didn't think it was possible, so we didn't take any precautions, and we're having a baby." Silence met their statement.

Then a loud shriek rang out, first from Abby, and then from Sarah. Jerry looked at Tony, his eyes wide.

"Aren't they too old?" Ziva started to laugh, all the while shaking her head.

"No, they are not, Jerry." She chuffed out her words. "It's just unusual."

Tim still hadn't spoken. He looked around at the smiling faces of his family. He was happy, that wasn't the question, he was stunned. He'd never really expected this. But it was wonderful. Unexpected, but... His Dad interrupted his thoughts.

"Got a problem, Tim?"

"No, I'm..." He stuttered. "It's wonderful, I'm just surprised." He let a smile break over his face. "I think it's great."

"Wait!" Ziva nearly shouted. "When are you due?" Lydia's hand came up to cover her mouth.

"August 25th. Your wedding day." Plans began changing faster than the men could keep up.

The family visited for hours, the younger children offering all sorts of advice relating the morning sickness, first nights home with babies, and babysitters. Ziva and Avery agreed to postpone their wedding by four weeks so Lydia would have no problem attending with the baby.

Tim and Abby were the first to leave when Lydia was yawning more frequently. Ziva and Sarah made plans to take their children out for dinner, as neither woman felt like cooking. They were soon heading out the door, taking Tony with them, which left Jethro and Lydia alone for a bit.

"Too bad you're so tired." He smiled as he lay next to his wife. He had followed her up the stairs after telling her to rest, that he'd take care of dinner.

"Tell me about it." She smiled and turned on her side, wrapping her arms around her husband. He kissed her, drawing her close.

"Love you." She was already drifting off to sleep. He lay beside her for a bit, then rose and went downstairs. He had a dinner to make.

Lydia woke to the smell of steak and bread. She rolled over onto her back and put her hand over her stomach. A gentle smile graced her mouth.

"Your Daddy loves us, Baby." Out in the hall, Jethro listened. He sighed and leaned against the wall. "He acts all gruff, but he's not. He loves us, and your big brothers and sisters." She chuckled. "You have two big brothers and three big sisters. Their names are Tony, Tim, Abby, Ziva, and Sarah. You have nephews, too. Three boys. A big boy named Jerry, and two little boys named LJ and Oded. LJ is named for your Daddy, so even if you're a boy, we can't name you after him."

"Yeah, that would be a little rough." Jethro came into the room. "Three Leroy Jethro's running around." He smiled and sat next to her. His hand covered hers on her womb.

"Thanks for letting me sleep."

"Of course." He leaned down and kissed her. "Gotta take care of our Little Bug." Lydia made a face.

"You're not calling him Little Bug." Jethro stuck out his tongue.

"Ok, then we'll call her Daddy's Little Squirt." He wiggled his eyebrows and Lydia rolled her eyes.

"Ok, Little Bug wins." Jethro laughed and leaned in for another kiss. By the time they were ready to go downstairs, dinner was long cold.

#######

Gibbs smiled at his wife a week later as the doctor told them they would be having a little girl. They'd wanted to know, Gibbs so he could start making the furniture for the nursery (a little girl needed a different dresser than a boy, after all, and maybe a new crib...boats weren't that great for girls...however fitting), and Lydia because she was afraid of miscarrying and not knowing. During that appointment, the doctor told them he wanted to see them every week from now on, instead of this checkup being an odd man out.

The doctor was concerned because the baby was developing on schedule, but was far below the weight she should have been at 15 weeks. What was really concerning was that she had begun to efface already. As a precaution, the doctor wanted her on mostly bed rest. She could be on her feet no more than 4 hours a day, and could lift no more than five pounds, no matter what.

Jethro heard the doctor's words and felt his heart go cold. He was afraid that despite her best efforts, she may lose the baby. He stomped down the fear and called his children as soon as Lydia went for a late afternoon nap. She rarely slept long, but sleep she did.

He called Tim and Abby first. The young couple willingly set aside two nights a week, cases barring, to come over and do laundry, get dusting and dishes done. Ziva was next, and she said she'd be taking be over to do various chores during the week, and volunteered to be on call for any needs her parent's had, especially for Tony's care. Sarah said the same, even Jerry asked if he could help. Tim and Abby explained everything to Tony. That evening, he stood in their kitchen with his little sister, learning how to cook macaroni and cheese.

Knowing he had his family in order, he relaxed a bit. He found himself cooking extra meals, getting the freezer full for nights when he needed to be gone to NCIS as a consultant, or nights when she needed to be held. It would save on ordering delivery, and allow him to be there for her in every step.

When the girls went shopping again, Lydia went along after taking a long nap before their trip. Twenty minutes into their afternoon at the mall, she began contracting. She gripped Ziva's arm, her face pale with pain.

Sarah dialed 911 while Abby called their dad. Ziva helped her mom sit, letting Lydia squeeze her hand as tightly as she needed.

It was a combination of Braxton-Hicks and the baby sitting on a nerve. Jethro sat by her, his face stony as he listened to the doctor explain. Relief coursed through him and he leaned over his wife, whispering his joy.

The doctor then gave orders that she was to steer clear of stress, not lift anything more than 3 pounds. If he could have his way, she would be on complete bed rest. There was no arguing. She was on bed rest from that moment on.

While their house had rung with the laughter of grandchildren nearly every day of the week, the babies only came with their parents now. Gibbs made sure his children came over at least once a week, but the visits were short, and he made sure that Lydia was ensconced in her rocker before their family arrived. The boys played with toys while talking animatedly with their Gamma.

They worked through her fears together. He took over the household chores so she could rest. Gibbs fussed over her so much that she resorted to calling Ducky a few times to rescue her. Her comrade would chuckle, tell her some long-winded tale about men in other countries, and finally agree to call her husband over to help him with some project that really didn't need doing.

Lydia had come to rely on daily phone calls with her mom. The older woman helped to keep her balanced, and Jethro knew that when her fears became crushing, he just needed to dial his mother-in-law, talk for a minute or two, and then hand off the phone. The other part of the "keep Mommy sane" prescription was to lay beside her, holding her, running his hand over her womb. And if Little Bug cooperated and kicked, so much the better.

######

Another week, and she officially entered her fifth month of pregnancy. She breathed a sigh of relief. She was over a third of the way there. Jethro stayed tense, but hid it from her. He had finished their daughter's crib, and was now making a little bassinet. He wanted to get a room ready for his daughter, but wanted their baby in their room until she was ready to be on her own. He chuckled to himself, wondering if she'd be a girly girl and willingly cuddle with him until she was grown. And then some.

At five months Lydia was larger than he'd expected her to be, and several nights, she was kept awake by kicking. Kelly had been active, but nothing like this. Yet for the strong heartbeat and the activity, their little girl was still underweight. He'd often stayed up with her, as the baby seemed to settle when they were talking.

She had been far too tired to make love for the last two months, and when she was rested, she just felt off. Jethro contented himself with holding her, even when she could see desire smoldering in his eyes. She teased him often, laughing at him for finding her so sexy when she looked like she swallowed a watermelon. He'd winked at her and replied, "Yes, but it's my watermelon."

Jethro would go to bed early, asking her to join him. She would smile and follow him, pretending to not realize that he was still wide awake and just wanted her to rest. She fell into the habit of sleeping with her back propped against her husband. He would rub her shoulders and then her distended belly.

######

Their daughters helped Lydia set up the nursery, all the while giggling like schoolgirls. Their father was downstairs with all three of his grandsons, Lydia upstairs with their three daughters, and Tony came home. He heard the giggles, saw Gibbs shake his head, and left again. He knew Timmy was home.

The girls finished decorating and helped their mom downstairs. She'd been sitting in a chair the entire time, arguing that she could help a little, but all three girls fussed at her, so she had just directed traffic for the two hours it took to get the room ready.

They sent Jethro to Tim's for a little bit of guy time as the ladies got dinner ready. Gibbs walked, loving the feeling of the brisk air and seeing the leaves change. It had been a wonderful day, and with the dinner they would share, it promised to be a fabulous evening.

He got to Tim and Abby's just in time to get a frantic phone call. Ziva was fairly crying into the phone, which was completely unlike her. He got her to calm down enough to answer, and with a horrified look on his face, pealed out of the McGee's drive. When he arrived back at his house, an ambulance had already been called and the girls had Lydia laying on the couch.

He could see the muscles clenching under her shirt, and he looked to his girls.

"What happened?"

"We don't know." Abby was trying to not panic. "We were laughing, and she grabbed her belly. She was contracting." Tears streamed down his daughter's face as he raced to his wife's side.

"It's gonna be ok, Sweetheart."

"No, Jethro." She wailed. "She's only 22 weeks. She's too little. I can't have her yet." Gibbs held his wife, tears streaming down his own cheeks as he did his best to reassure her of his love. And give her hope that their baby girl would be fine.

Her water hadn't broken yet. She was just having contractions. Hard ones. The ER doctor started her on Ritodrine to stop her labor. While usually used for situations with respiratory distress, it had the highest success in stopping labor. The young doctor was hoping his professors had been right.

By the time her doctor arrived, her labor had stopped and she was resting somewhat peacefully, the emotions and contractions having drained her energy. Jethro stayed by her side, his hand stroking her hair. His other hand rested on his unborn child.

"Mr. Gibbs?"

"Yeah?" He looked up to the doctor.

"We have a few options, none of them really the best, but hopefully we can come up with a plan."

"What happened?" Jethro wiped tears from his eyes.

"She started pre-term delivery." The doctor shrugged. "You could say that her body said enough. Her body tried to deliver the baby early."

"So a miscarriage?"

"Well, there is the possibility of a live birth now. The baby's heartbeat is strong and steady, your wife is not in distress."

"But we're not yet at 6 months."

"Live birth, Mr. Gibbs. But possibly with severe defects, disabilities, or death." Jethro's breath caught, and he rested his head on her arm.

"Sir, there are medications we can give to her, and we can monitor her regularly."

"What kinds of medicine?"

"I would recommend Indomethacin. It's the most common and seems, in my experience, to be the best for prolonging pregnancies. I'm going to suggest bed rest, Indomethacin, and, while I know you won't like it, I'd like to keep her here so we can monitor her and the baby."

"You're right, I don't like it." He ran his hand over his baby again. "Do you think that'll help them for sure?"

"Yes, sir, I do."

"Then if she agrees, I'm for it." When she woke an hour later, Jethro explained everything to her, and she felt the same as her husband. They talked a little more and he left to inform their waiting children.

Lydia used his phone and called her mom. Mary answered the phone, and within minutes, was packing a bag. She'd be on a flight as soon as she could be. Janice, in a rare helpful moment, had gotten her mother the first available flight. She'd take off in two hours. That gave her just enough time to get to the airport and through security.

She got into her car and had a sudden thought. Dialing quickly, she waited while the phone rang. "This is Jack." She was glad her daughter had already called him. He was on his way, and rather than go immediately to the hospital, he would come to pick her up from the airport. The grandparents shared their worry with one another. They weren't sure exactly how it would all work out, but they were staying until the baby was born or lost.

######

The Gibbs Clan met with the doctor, all of them asking questions. They arranged schedules, took vacation days, and made sure someone was able to be at the hospital 24 hours a day, enabling Jethro to get some sleep at home.

Without Tony's knowledge, the other kids also arranged schedules to be sure Tony wasn't left on his own in case of a panic attack. He had some days at the foundation, some with Ziva running errands, some with his brother playing games, and some with Sarah house hunting.

Lydia was visited every day by most of their children. One or the other would end up missing, but most would come. Two weeks passed, and the doctors were cautiously hopeful. The baby's heartbeat was staying strong, as was Lydia's.

The second week came, and it all changed. Lydia's blood pressure was rising, her tests were showing signs of preeclampsia. A urine test ruled out the possibility of kidney failure. Lydia's veins were contracting, the baby was in distress, and if they didn't do an emergency C-section, it was possible that both mother and child would be lost.

The doctor discussed the possibility of hemorrhaging with them, and the frightened parent's agreed that if it was necessary to save her life, that the doctor had permission to perform the procedure. Dr. Plexo discussed all possible outcomes, told them of all possible complications, and they agreed to let the doctor do what was necessary to save both mother and child. With all forms signed, Lydia headed to surgery only twenty minutes after the doctor decided a C-section was necessary.

#######

Jethro called his family, asking them to come sit with him. He paced while his wife was in surgery. He'd not been allowed to go in, as they would have to put her fully under. The surgeons were working, a team from the neonatal unit were standing by, and they were ready to get the baby stabilized as soon as she was born.

Mary and Jack did their best to calm him, but he was lost in a fog of fear and sorrow. He calmed slightly for his children, although with their shared looks, everyone know just how upset he was.

Gibbs children, with the exception of Sarah, who was keeping everyone until Jimmy and Breena could arrive, had come in together. They greeted their dad, all of them sharing worry and sending prayers up. Jethro was beside himself, even when Ducky came and stayed at his friends side, Jethro couldn't calm down further. He knew he was upsetting his children, but he couldn't displace the fear. He was terrified of losing his wife and daughter. Again.

It took only one minute and 22 seconds for their daughter to be born. She was a pinkish gray, and her breathing was shallow. She weighed in at 1 lb 4 oz, and was 8 inches long. Now it was time to save her mother. The doctor reached into the incision once again and called for help.

######

An eternity of 25 minutes later, Lydia's doctor came out with the surgeon. Both wore smiles, and Jethro felt his heart unclench for the first time in hours. He stood, not realizing he was shaking.

"How's Lydia? How's the baby?" Dr. Plexo motioned for Jethro to follow him.

"They're fine." Jethro's legs threatened to give out, and his sons lept to his aid. "Come, we'll take you to your wife." The boys waited to let go until they were sure his legs would hold him.

The family sat talking while Jethro was gone. Something was up, but what was the question. Their only relief was the smiles from the doctor.

In the recovery room, Jethro sat next to his wife as the doctors filled him in. Lydia was still coming out the anesthesia, but she clutched his fingers.

"Hey, Babe." He leaned over and kissed her forehead when her eyes opened. "You did it." He smiled. "Just listening to what the doctor has to say."

"Welcome back, Mrs. Gibbs." Dr. Plexo nodded to her. "I was just telling your husband that although the delivery was successful, we did indeed have to do a complete hysterectomy. I'm sorry."

"The baby?" Her voice was soft.

"Well, there's the sticker." Lydia felt tears fill her eyes, wondering why the doctor could possibly smile. "We found the reason she had such a hard time gaining weight."

"Yes? Why?"

"She has a truly little brother." Jethro's eyes bugged out.

"Twins?" He actually squeaked. The doctor proceeded to tell them about the babies who were in the neonatal unit. Both babies required feeding tubes, catheters, ventilators, and were attached to a variety of sensors and alarms. But they were alive, and were in good health considering their premature birth.

The parent's asked if they could see the babies, but they weren't able to leave the neonatal unit. While Jethro could go, Lydia had to wait until she was at least up in a wheelchair. She told him to take pictures and bring them back for her to see. He kissed her and left. She was asleep before he reached the waiting room to tell his family their wonderful, thrilling, joyful news.

Tallulah Fae weighed in at 1 lbs and 4 ounces, and measured 8 inches long. She had a light fuzz of red, which thrilled her new Daddy. The doctor had explained that it was just Lanugo hair, which was a big word to describe the light fuzz that covered babies in utero. But it was red, and her Daddy loved it.

He counted her toes, her tiny fingers. Her hands were so small. Her fingers were so tiny he was afraid to stroke them. He wormed his hands into the gloves that were attached to the sides of her incubator and lay his hand next to hers. His pinky brushed her hand, and she moved ever so slightly. He was in love. Absolutely head-over heels, smitten with hope, in love with his daughter.

Their son was smaller, but he was all there. Gibbs counted his toes and fingers as he stood looking at the second unexpected miracle. His boy was beautiful. Tears ran down his face as he watched his sons' chest rise and fall. It was one of the most beautiful, amazing things he'd ever seen. While he'd been surprised at his daughter's tiny size, he was amazed at his son. He was all of 6 and a half inches, and weighed only 15 and a half ounces.

His baby hair was black. While Jethro knew it would fall out, he smiled. His hair had been dark. Not black, but his own mother had had hair so black it shone blue in the sun. He hoped his son inherited that. It was something he'd never hoped for before.

Jethro snapped picture after picture to show to his wife. He wished she could be there. He wanted to hold her hand, to kiss her, to be near her, for her to be near the babies. He wanted them to hear her voice like they were hearing his as he spoke to them quietly.

He couldn't wait until she was well enough to come and see them. He spent a few more minutes with them, talking quietly, telling them how much he loved them, how much Mommy loved them, and that he would be back.

When he left, he went immediately to his wife. He held up his phone, pride clearly showing as he flipped through picture after picture, stopping to tell his wife all about the babies from every angle. She cried, looking at the perfect lives that lay in the incubators.

She was able to go see them the next day, and as her mom, her father-in-law, and their children watched through the nursery window, she touched her babies for the first time. She ran her glove-covered finger gently over their tiny hands as she sang a lullaby. Tallulah moved her legs, Tucker flexed his fingers, and life was perfect.

Jethro stood behind her, rubbing her shoulders and telling her of how they'd changed from the day before. Little things that didn't show up in the pictures. How they were a better color. They were moving their fingers more. He knelt down beside her, looking into her beautiful green eyes.

"They're going to make it, Lydia." Tears shone in his eyes. "These babies are so strong. They're like you." He smiled as he wiped a tear from her eyes. "They got your strength, and I know our little girl got your hair." She smiled and wiped the tears from his face.

"They're perfect, Jethro. Perfect and amazing."


	74. Flashbacks

Disclaimer: Don't own it.

Note: Thanks to my beta, Headbanger Rockstar! You rock, Dude!

Note: Going back a bit into when she was pregnant... it didn't fit with the last chapter. :) Bear with me a little, folks! This whole chapter is a series of FLASHBACKS!

#######

"Ziva, we can wait as long as you need to."

"I know, Avery, but what will your parent's think? We already told them the date we planned!"

"They'll think we're doing the right thing." He furrowed his brow. "Do you really think my parent's would want us to get married while your mom is delivering your brother or sister?" He grinned. "Those head-slaps your dad gives Tony and Tim? Nothing compared to what my mom would do to me. We're talking epic." Ziva laughed.

That evening he called his parents. She listened to his end of the conversation as she made dinner. Not intentionally, but it was kind of hard to miss. He never left the kitchen.

"No, Mom, we're not canceling the wedding." He was laughing. "We're just changing the date. I promise, no eloping." Ziva rolled her eyes.

"Why?" He was quiet for a moment, obviously listening. "Because her parent's got a huge surprise. Of the baby kind. And we set the wedding for what will be her due date." Ziva could hear his mother over the phone, but couldn't tell if she was laughing or shouting. Avery's grin gave the answer.

"We'll be sure to let you know if they need anything. I think we got it covered, though." He listened, and then laughed again. "I'll let them know. Love you, too."

"What was that all about?" Ziva was smiling, only because her fiance was nearly passing out from laughing. Something had struck his funny bone.

"Mom said to hug Lydia, slap Gibbs, and rock the baby once it's here." Ziva joined in with the laughter.

########

"Here, Mom." Abby set a bowl of stew with fresh biscuits beside her mom. "How are you today?" Lydia smiled at her bubbly daughter.

"Jealous."

"Jealous?"

"Yeah. You can be up and around. I just wanna go to the grocery story." Abby laughed.

"How about I go get my laptop, and we go window shopping?" Lydia grinned.

"My credit card is in my wallet. I don't wanna window shop."

"Sweet!"

Ten days later, Gibbs answered the door, wondering why FedEx was at his door. And why the hell the driver had a whole stack of packages. Baby Gap. He was gonna have to set some rules for Abby...

######

Tony was in the kitchen making something. What was the question. It had started off as Macaroni and Cheese. Then he added too much milk. So he threw in some meat.

Gibbs was dreading taking it to his nauseous wife, but his son was so proud of himself. He made dinner. For the first time since his breakdown, he made dinner.

Tony dished himself a plate, took a bite, and spit it out. His Dad looked over to him, eyes wide. Tony smiled.

"This is why we have a Mom, Dad." Gibbs started to laugh as he watched Tony put it all down the disposal. "And when she's pregnant," he looked pointedly at Jethro, "which I blame you for entirely," Gibbs roared with laughter, "we resort to the hunter-gatherer way of life."

"Hunter-gatherer?"

"You hunt for a coupon, I'll gather my credit card."

#######

Sarah ran through the door with a rotisserie chicken and a bag of frozen veggies.

"Sorry I'm late!"

"You're fine." Gibbs grinned at her. "Had a busy day?"

"Yeah." She spoke slowly. "Why are you smiling at me like that?"

"Go see your mother." Sarah quirked an eyebrow, but she went upstairs.

Lydia looked up from the cross-stitch she was doing and laughed.

"What are you guys laughing at?" Lydia pointed to her forehead. Sarah ran her hand across her forehead and rolled her eyes.

One of her coworkers had "tagged" her that morning with a sticker. It read, "My Mommy's Having a Baby" in hot pink letters. On a dare, she'd worn it all day, completely forgetting it was there. She'd been to the grocery store, the dry-cleaners, and the gas station. All the while she displayed the sticker.

#########

Tim came by the next night, after calling and telling his Gibbs to not start dinner yet.

"Ya bringing something?"

"Yeah." McGee was hedging. "I'll be there in a minute." When he walked in with an armload of Happy Meals, Gibbs glared at his youngest boy.

"What are those?"

"Dinner." Tim somehow managed to keep a straight face. "They've got the toys for that movie the kids like so much, so I wanted to get them the whole set."

"And that means we've got to eat this slop?"

"It's not that bad." Tim was quickly losing his composure, unable to hide his smile.

Gibbs opened a box. His brow quirked.

"You think I'm gonna survive on four nuggets and apple slices?"

"No." Tim was entirely too sure of himself. "I got you a cheeseburger Meal, too." Even though he ducked, his head wasn't missed.

"Are those fries I smell?" Lydia shouted down the stairs.

"She ordered this, didn't she?" Tim just grinned. Jethro groaned.

"Happily coincides with the toys, Boss. Happy Meals for Happy Circumstances."

#######

Gibbs had been up with Tony for hours after Lydia had fallen asleep. Tony had been tormented by a new worker who hadn't realized he was the big boss. He wanted to fire the young man, but wasn't sure if that was the right way to go. Gibbs finally got him to see that if he'd treat a coworker with that much disrespect, that he'd do worse to a patient or client.

When he'd finally crawled into bed beside his wife, he just wanted to sleep. She had other ideas.

"Jethro?"

"Hm? You ok?"

"Yeah. Tony alright?"

"He'll be fine. He's already asleep."

"Good." They were quiet for a few minutes, and Gibbs thought maybe she'd gone back to sleep. "Jethro?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm hungry." He nearly groaned. Her midnight cravings were horrendous. They almost made him sick to make them.

"What do you want?"

"Meatballs." Ok, that wasn't so bad.

"Anything on them?" She thought a moment.

"Yeah. Grape jelly." He started out the door, when she called out, "And some chocolate milk."

He couldn't wait until these cravings were a thing of the past. Especially when he had it all ready to go. It looked sickening. What was worse was her obvious enjoyment of it.

########

"Here, Mom, what do you think of these?" Ziva sat on the edge of Lydia's bed, a portfolio of invitations spread before her. "I like these three the best."

"They're beautiful." Lydia smiled as she looked from one to the next. "Is there one you prefer?"

"I am not sure."

"Well, what do you like about each?" Ziva explained her thoughts. "Now, what don't you like about each?" The younger woman tilted her head, looking at the three again.

"Two of them have the same things I dislike."

"Well, are the likes enough to keep them in?"

"No." She smiled. "This is it."

"Good." Lydia leaned over playfully. "Go get your laptop. I want to look at some stuff."

"No way, Mom." Ziva laughed. "Dad threatened me."

"Yeah?" She gave her daughter puppy eyes. "You'd deny your little sister a shopping trip?"

"Never!" With that, Ziva was out the door and down the stairs. Her laptop was handily sitting by the couch. Gibbs just rolled his eyes.

"Keep it reasonable! I don't wanna mortgage the house for onesies!"

#######

"Hi, Mrs. Gibbs, I mean, Lydia, um Mom." Avery stood in the door to her bedroom completely flustered. His ears burned a brighter red than his hair.

"How are you, Avery? Mom or Lydia is fine."

"I'm doing good." He shuffled his feet. "Um, my mom got something for you, and I'm kind of not really sure I should give it to you, but it's kind of funny, and Ziva laughed. She said her dad would owe my dad a head-slap."

"Well, with an introduction like that, don't keep me waiting!" Lydia was all smiles as he crossed the floor. She took the rectangular box from him, slowly tearing off the baby wrapping paper.

She opened the box, and began to laugh. She'd only talked to Ziva's future in-laws twice, but they were neat people.

"Jethro!"

"Yeah?" He poked his head in from the bathroom where he'd been fixing the sink drain.

"Avery's parents sent us a present." He smiled. The other couple had an odd sense of humor, but it was one that he found he could enjoy.

"Yeah?"

"Well, look." Her attempts to hold in her laughter were making him want to take longer.

When he did open it, he turned bright red. He pulled the candle out of its box, laughing so hard tears were forming in the corners of his eyes. The candle was pink, and for a second he thought it was a whale. And then he saw the words "Happy Little Spermy".

########

Tim and Avery stopped by with LJ and Oded while their ladies were out grocery shopping. The boys had been begging to see Gamma, and so here they were. They sat quietly on the edge of the bed, staring at their Gamma. Or at least LJ stared. Oded was "looking" around on the bedspread.

"What's wrong?"

"Why da baby make you stay in bed all da time?"

"My Mommy have a baby in hers tummy, an hers is up an walking. An eating." Lydia smirked. "Daddy says Mommy's gonna be a..." He looked to his daddy and grinned. "I na suppoda tell." Tim shook his head. Gibbs would hear it now, and he'd be toast.

"You can tell Grandma anything."

"Daddy said Mommy's gonna look like she swallowed a..."

"LJ," Tim cleared his throat. "Let's keep Daddy alive, shall we? Don't tell Grandma."

"Don't tell Grandma what?" Jethro stood in the door, and Tim swallowed hard.

"Daddy thinks Mommy eats to much, and looks like she's a straw that swallowed a basketball!" The head-slap was concussion worthy.

"Can da baby hear, Gamma?"

"She sure can!" Oded crawled up the bed and sat next to her. He leaned down and kissed her blanket covered belly.

"Hurry up, Baby!" Lydia started to chuckle. "Gamma needs to be up so she make cookies! If my Mama eats more, I'll get a bwuddah, too!"

Avery shook his head as Tim and Gibbs elbowed him. He rolled his eyes as Oded kissed his Gamma's belly again. "Wow, Gamma, you must eat a lot of cookies! Hope Pop-pop doesn't do that, too!"


	75. Through Tony's Eyes

Disclaimer: Still don't own it.

Note: Thanks to my amazing beta, Headbanger Rockstar! Love you!

Note: HAPPY NEW YEAR! Oh, still not a doctor. :)

########

Tony sat, his leg bouncing as he waited for his therapist to come get him. Jimmy was waiting with him, and while he'd wanted to stay at the hospital with his parents and the babies, he'd needed to come. He was feeling the panic, and it was harder and harder to keep it at bay.

His dad had encouraged him to keep his appointment.

"You need to take care of yourself, Tony." Gibbs voice was gentle. "I know you want to be here, and Mom and I both appreciate it so much."

"Are you telling me to go because I'm being too loud?"

"No, son." Gibbs gathered his boy close to him, hugging him tightly. "You're rubbing your hands on your pants almost constantly, and you've been concentrating on your slow breathing. You're doing so well, but I know you're worried." Gibbs backed up a bit and looked Tony in the eye.

"It's ok to be worried and scared. It's not weak, it's not bad, and well, it's normal to feel that way. And you can talk to Alley. Jimmy'll go with you, just like always." Tony had nodded and left with his cousin.

And now he was here, sitting and waiting, worrying about what was happening at the hospital.

"Tony?" Alley stood at the door, a smile on her face. Tony was one of her favorite clients. He was charming, loved to talk, and usually said things in code. And she loved it.

If he said he was fine, it meant he was having a bad day. If he said he was having a terrible day, it meant he was probably having the time of his life, and just wanted to tease her. She never knew which Tony would show up. Nervous Tony, Frightened Tony, Child-like Tony, Grownup Tony, or I-got-the-tiger-by-its-tail Tony. Every version was adorable. The man didn't have a mean bone in his body.

Along with a mind bent towards caring for others, he had generosity out the wazoo. She had been working with him for months before she finally understood that HE was the man behind Best Life. He'd mentioned it only in passing, and she thought he volunteered there. Then came the day the man had needed to fire someone. He had actually cried before her, worrying about what the man would do for money, how he would pay his rent, everything. On the flip side, he had been so upset that the young man had tormented him, and he was afraid of the man hurting one of their patients.

She had listened to him, and at the end of his appointment, his dad had come back at her request. Alley was embarrassed, but she needed to ask, to make sure. If Tony was slipping into a delusion, she needed to make him aware. And Gibbs had set her straight. He'd been polite, yet very firm. And Tony DiNozzo was raised higher on her list of fascinating and enjoyable people.

Tony looked up at her, his eyes red-rimmed. This was something she'd never seen before. Yet for the obvious tears, he was smiling. The young man she'd come to know as his cousin Jimmy stood as well.

"I'm gonna be joining you today."

"If Tony's alright with it." Tony nodded, his arm linked with Jimmy's. He was having a clingy day. That told her a little of his mental state. He was worried about something.

The men followed her to her office, and she could feel the energy vibrating from Tony. Whatever had him worried, also had him excited, and she could tell by his demeanor that he had no idea of how to act or what to feel. He was completely overwhelmed.

The door clicked closed behind them, and Tony sat, quiet for a moment as he rubbed his hands on his pants once again. He looked up, meeting her eyes, and the words came, fast and furious.

"I'm happy, I really am, but I'm worried, and I'm not sure what to do, or if I can do anything, and I want to do so much, but I can't. I mean, literally, I can't. She's doing good, and the babies, oh, man! You should see them! They're amazing! Tiny, like, Tucker's smaller than my hand, but they're all there! And they're..." He rambled on, getting faster and faster, until she couldn't understand his words anymore. The only other things she caught were, "maybe if I'd have done more," and "I love them so much." She waved her hands.

"Tony, I need you to slow down a bit." Jimmy was still smiling, and he began to chuckle.

"Alley, this is slow. You should have heard him on the way over." He winked at Tony, who playfully pushed him. "Total motor mouth." Tony stuck out his tongue, and Alley felt relief flow through her. Whatever it was that had him so worried wasn't horrible. "He was talking faster than the wheels were turning! Really!"

"I was not! Well, only because you were driving so slow!" The boys dissolved into giggles, and Alley had to get them back on track. Obviously, Jimmy had been keeping Tony even and settled very well, and his technique was, as always, humor.

"Ok, so Jimmy, while I love to laugh with Tony, and today, you, I really need to ask what's going on." Jimmy sobered a little, but his smile was as bright as ever.

"Aunt Lydia had her baby, only it's twins!"

"Oh, congratulations!"

"Thanks!" Tony was beaming, but concern still lurked in his eyes. "They're so tiny, though."

"Well, your mom's a little early in having them, isn't she?" Tony tensed, and Jimmy took over.

"More than a little. She delivered at 24 weeks, which means the babies are 16 weeks early." Alley's hand flew to her mouth, unable to hide her shock. "They're doing well, really."

"Yeah, they've got all sorts of wires and tubes and stuff, and they're so small." Tony's voice held his wonder. "My baby brother is smaller than my hand, and my baby sister is the same size as it." He held his hand up for Alley to see.

"How do you feel about all of this, Tony?" The young man stopped still.

"Um, I feel a lot." He was confused, and Jimmy patted his arm.

"It's ok, Tony." That was all the tall Italian needed.

"Um, I'm happy. Like, insanely happy, and I'm worried, because they're so small, and I'm scared, that maybe she went into labor because I wasn't working enough at home to help her, like everyone else was doing so much, and I..."

"Tony, take a breath." He inhaled deeply. "That's it. Ok. Go on."

"Um, I just feel like I didn't do enough. And then I'm worried, because Dad's got Mom to worry about, and I'm stressing, which makes it harder on him, and..."

"Ok, ok." She smiled and held up her hands. "Now, we've got lots of worries here. So let's start talking about the worries. But first, what are the babies names?"

"Oh, the girl is Tallulah Fae, and the boy is Tucker Ulysses." Tony grinned. "Number one reason for older folks to not have children. The naming part." Jimmy snorted, trying to hold back his laughter.

"Now, to be serious, even with this happy news, let's talk about why you feel like you should be doing more." Tony shrugged as she spoke.

"I should be. I mean, I'm a grown man. And yet I can't do laundry, as it stresses me, and I start panicking, thinking I'm gonna mess up the colors. I just," he hung his head. "I feel stupid, like I'm lazy, or just being a drama queen."

"Are you lazy?" He shrugged. "What did you do this week?"

"Um, I painted a room at Best Life, which I like to do, because I can spend time alone, and if I mess it up, I can just cover it up." He smiled. "And, um, I helped Dad finish a new jewelry box for Mom. She doesn't have much, but he wants to replace the one from her grandma. He says she didn't like her grandma, and so he wants to give her something she'll love instead. So she can throw away the one from her grandma."

"That will be nice."

"Yeah, it will be." He was quiet a moment. "I did the dishes twice this week, and I went grocery shopping with Ziva."

"That was a big step for you." She made a note, as she was recording all of his progress.

"I had my own cart this time, and I got everything on my list!"

"Now, Tony, could you have done that a month ago? Go grocery shopping with your own cart?"

"No."

"So what part of that sounds lazy to you? It sounds to me like you're making amazing progress." The discussion rambled all through his concerns, his triumphs, and his joy at his siblings' birth.

He was worried because he overheard the doctor talk about possible disabilities and handicaps the babies could face. He'd talked to his dad, who told him not to worry. They were Gibbs' kids. Just like he was, and they'd be just as strong, if not stronger, because they had him for a brother.

"Do you think that's true?"

"I don't know." He shrugged. "I can see how I'm getting better. I can see how they're strong, and they're fighting to stay alive, and they're so amazing." Another shrug. "But I don't know if I'm gonna be a help to them at all. I'm not strong like everybody seems to think I am."

"Tony, it's not just a matter of seeing yourself as strong. It's a matter of those of us who know you watching you and seeing your strength. Only a strong person could have taken the abuse of his past and turned it into a life of pursuing criminals. Only a strong person could have taken the horror of his father trying to hurt him and turned it into a beautiful thing with helping others. Those are the things that make you strong, Tony. Not going to the grocery story. Not cleaning the house. Not even chasing down criminals. Love is your strength, Tony. And you are amazingly strong."

#########

"Hey, Dad, can you explain all of this to me better? I really wanna understand." Tony stood over his baby sister's incubator.

"What do you want to know?"

"Everything." Gibbs smirked. Tony hadn't changed a bit. He'd just changed how he went about it.

"Well, the kangaroo joey pump makes sure they get constant food. The tube coming out of it is the NG tube. The formula gets replaced with new every four hours, and the tube itself needs to be changed every day."

"How do they change the tube?"

"They have to lube it up, and then they put it down through the baby's nose."

"Their noses?"

"Yep. Their noses. The nurses listen with their stethoscopes to make sure they get into their tummies, and not their lungs." Gibbs watched as Tony digested this bit of information.

"Why do they have so many therapists? Aren't they too little to need therapy?"

"They are in the way you're thinking of therapists as. The speech therapist is making sure their tongues are placed right."

"Won't that happen?"

"If they went full term, yes, but as it is, they missed that developing milestone."

"How would it be different? Won't they mature just like they would have?"

"No, son. I don't have all of the answers, but from what I understand, each day out here is only worth half in the womb." Tony looked confused. "So it takes two days of life once they're born to equal one day before they're born."

"So they grow faster inside?"

"Yep. And they hit all of the developmental marks inside, too, that they won't out here."

"Ok, so who works with them, then?"

"They've got a whole team of people who take care of feeding them. The speech therapist is one of those people. The others are a nutritionist, a GI specialist, and a developmental pediatrician."

"Wow. That's a lot of people."

"Sure is."

"Dad?"

"Yeah?"

"Does Best Life have a Neo-Natal unit?" Gibbs was quiet for a moment.

"No, son. Not yet."

"We're getting one, then. Do you think Jimmy and Breena could help me get it set up?"

"That's gonna be really expensive, son."

"Maybe." He looked once again to his tiny siblings. "But if you and Mom hadn't had insurance to come here, we would have lost them." He met his dad's eyes again, tears forming in the corners of his green orbs. Jethro nodded, knowing his son was right.

"We'll give them a call, Tony."

###########

One week later, Tony was back to see Alley, just like always. He was far more settled, even though he was evidently in full-blown child mode.

"How are your baby brother and sister?"

"They're great!" Tony beamed with pride and whipped pictures out from his pocket. He thrust them forward as he started to talk. "They're on these feeding tubes. They're tiny little things called NG tubes. They're attached to some pump that gets them food all the time. The doctor says that the babies need constant feeding, just like when they were still in Mom."

"They're precious!"

"Uh-huh! They are so cute! Their pumps are called kangaroo joey pumps. I like that. Kangaroo joey pumps. It's fun to say." He grinned. "That tube is oxygen, and they're doing really good."

"You're so happy today, and you don't seem so stressed. Are you doing better?"

"Yeah." Tony blushed and looked down at his hands. "I'm better. I had a panic attack earlier this week, and Dad helped me through it."

"What did you get panicked over?"

"Um, Tucker had a hard time breathing, and they had to do something, and well, he's fine now, but I got so scared." His eyes were wide. "I was upset because they'd been crying, and I didn't realize I was loud when I shushed them, and it wasn't long after that that Tucker had a hard time, and I thought it was my fault."

"How did your Dad help you?"

They spent the rest of his time discussing his behavior and how it does and doesn't affect the babies. He completely forgot to mention the neonatal unit. Breena was looking into getting it started, and his accountant was having a cardiac. His part was over for now, and it was out of his mind.


	76. Mom comes home

Disclaimer: Don't own it. (sigh)

Note: Thanks as always to my fabulous beta, Headbanger Rockstar! Love you! ptbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb!

Note: Fluff warning! HAPPY NEW YEAR!

The babies had progressed well enough that they were ready to be moved to the pediatric intensive care unit from the neonatal unit. Lydia and Jethro were thrilled. They hadn't left their children except when forced, and this move was another sign of their children's will to thrive.

The worn parent's sat on the bed in the room they had been given to sleep in while their babies were still in the hospital. It wasn't uncomfortable, but it certainly wasn't home.

"Do you want to go home for a night?" Jethro sat by his wife, his arm wrapped around her shoulders. She leaned against him.

"I don't want to be away from them."

"I know." She yawned and he leaned back, pulling her to lay beside him on the uncomfortable bed. She was on her back, and he on his side beside her. Laying on her side still made stitches pull, so she had been sleeping this way for days, and he had to remind himself often to not hug her to him. He didn't want to cause her more pain. "I don't want to either."

"I hear a but in there."

"Yeah, you do." He kissed her hair. "I want you comfortable, and you've not been sleeping well here." He sighed. "I know this bed is hard on your stitches. Just one night in our bed?"

"We can't go, Jethro. One of us needs to be here."

"I'll be here, Sweetheart. I promise."

"I don't want to go alone." She was near tears. "It's going to be so quiet, and it'll be hard to be there without all of you. You and them."

They lay silently for a few minutes. Jethro gently scratched her belly where she'd developed a constant itch. It was above her stitches, but he still kept his touch gentle, his fingertips causing most of the friction.

"I just worry about you getting enough sleep."

"I know." She sighed, raising her lips to meet his. They feasted on one another for several minutes.

"I still want you to go home tonight."

"Killjoy." He sighed.

"Your mom's at the house."

"My mom doesn't grumble and snore." Jethro chuckled. "And she doesn't wake up with a stubbly face." Her fingers traced over his jaw, then his lips. "And she can't kiss me goodnight like you do."

"I would hope not."

"You'll stay with them?"

"I'll sleep in their room."

"Don't be a smart ass."

"Not being one." He kissed her again. "It's a thing of when you're here, there's two of us. Even if we're not in their room, it feels safer." She closed her eyes and took the nap he'd been trying to get her to take for an hour now.

"Mary?" Jethro's voice was quiet. He hadn't gotten out of the bed yet, and he didn't want to wake his wife. She stirred, moving enough that he could take his arm out from under her. He stood and went out to the hall.

"Yes? Are you there?"

"Yeah, I'm here. Sorry I was getting out of the room."

"Everything ok?"

"Yeah, I want Lydia to go home tonight and get a good nights sleep. Are you going to be around?"

"Even if I wasn't already planning on it, I'd change plans."

"Thanks."

"She's my daughter, and those are my grandchildren. What do you expect?"

"A head-slap for not taking better care of her and the babies."

"Jethro, she's got one ovary after what that ass did to her. She started menopause, she's miscarried before."

"She delivered too soon."

"Yeah, and if you and your kids hadn't taken over everything, she would have miscarried this time." She was smiling, and he could hear it in her voice. "But the last time I looked, I've got two grandbabies who are doing really well, and are going to be moving into the PICU today."

"That they are." He smiled, the pride he felt when he talked about any of his children filling his chest. "That's one reason I want her to go home."

"She's not been out of that hospital since she delivered."

"Yep."

"How's her stitches?"

"They're healing. Starting to itch."

"When do they come out?"

"Tomorrow. She's got an appointment tomorrow morning at 9:15."

"Where?"

"Oh, um, you know, I'll have to check."

"Don't wake her up. I'm sure she knows."

"Can you make sure she gets there?"

"You bet."

"Thanks." They were quiet for several minutes.

"You want me to bring you anything?"

"I could go for something non-hospital food."

"Anything in particular?" Jethro thought for a moment.

"Nope. So long as it doesn't try to eat me first..."

By the time Mary came to get Lydia, the Gibbs house was a busy activity center. Ziva stood in the kitchen finishing the simple meal she'd been helping Tony learn to cook. After one too many eggshells in the quiche, he had been banned from the kitchen by his frustrated little sister. Abby was in the living room with the kids. Tim had been freaking out since Lydia delivered early, and was insisting his wife take it easy.

Taking it easy at the moment consisted of playing with two four year old boys who were bouncing off the walls. Abby was sure Tim was having one of those "disconnected brain" moments. He knew how exhausting the boys were... if he was thinking clearly, he'd have had her folding socks, not keeping the kids from breaking lamps.

She was six months, one week, five days, and was already tired of not seeing her feet. Her friend Sally hadn't been kidding when she said she'd show sooner and get bigger with the second baby. She was huge. She was carrying the baby differently, which made her think she was having a girl. However, the constant battering of her stomach, kidneys, and bladder made her think she had a circus troupe.

Jack was upstairs changing the sheets. They'd not been slept on since Lydia went into the hospital, as Jethro had never left her side, and the older man wasn't sure when they'd last been changed. If anything, they would be fresh and non-dusty.

Avery was in the bathroom making sure it was all cleaned. He put soft towels out for his soon-to-be mother-in-law, along with some stuff Ziva had picked up. He'd never understand why women wanted to have candles in the bathroom, but hey, if it made the girls happy...

Tony was now downstairs dusting the jewelry box he and his dad had made for her. He'd made sure it was all pretty and clean. Now he just needed to get it upstairs. He grinned over at Tim who was helping to transfer the good from the old box to the new.

His phone rang.

"Hi, Grandma."

"Hey, kiddo. We're gonna be taking off in a few minutes."

"Good. We're ready here. How long do you think you'll be?"

"Well, once she gets done saying goodnight to them, it's only a 20 minute drive."

"Ok, see you in an hour." Mary laughed.

"Smart ass."

"Mom! Hurry up!" Jerry stood with their overnight bag, anxiously bouncing from foot to foot.

"I just have to pull this out of the oven, and we can go."

"You're taking too long! She'll be home before we get there!"

"Honey, they live 15 minutes from here. We'll make it."

"Mom!" Jerry resorted to whining. "Can't you finish baking it at Grandmas?"

"It'll be better if it's done here, Jerry. Now stop whining. Go put the bag in the car, get buckled in, that sort of thing." The timer buzzed, Jerry cheered, and Sarah flipped the oven off before pulling out the cake. Sliding it into a thermal bag, she zipped it closed and hurried out the door. She'd never tell Jerry, but she was afraid she'd miss her mom coming home, too.

They arrived and carried in their bags. Jerry had their clothes and toiletries, and Sarah had the cake and the bowl of homemade icing.

"Oh, good." Ziva smiled at her sister. "I was hoping you'd be on time. Grandma just called. They're on their way." Ziva took the cake while Sarah went to rescue Abby from two tiny terrors.

Lydia was a bundle of nerves all the way home. Mary drove at a normal speed, made sure she stopped at all lights, and was driving her daughter nuts. Lydia was shifting in her seat, pulling out her phone, and then putting it back into her purse.

"Call him, Sweetie."

"I just left, Mom." Lydia's voice shook.

"And you're worried. I'm sure he'll understand." Lydia pulled her phone out again, and it rang. Jethro.

"Hi, Honey."

"Hey, Babe." She could hear the smile in his voice. "You home yet?"

"Not quite. Just a couple of blocks away."

"Mom driving slow?"

"You have no idea." Jethro chuckled. "The babies ok?"

"They're doing great. Just like when you left." She started to cry. "What's wrong, Babe?"

"I'm sorry, Jethro." She took a deep breath. "I'm just, I don't know, scared from being away. What if something happens and I'm not there?"

"I'll be here, Honey. All night, and all morning until you're able to be here."

"Are you sure? You're back's out, too."

"Yeah, my back may be out a bit, but I didn't give birth to twins."

"I love you."

"I love you, too, Lydia. Get some rest, ok?"

"Ok."

"Call me if you need to, alright? I'm gonna sleep here with them. I'll keep my phone on."

"Ok." Her voice was a quiet waver through her tears.

"I'm gonna hang up now, Lydia. I love you."

"I love you, too." And he was gone.

Tony was now watching from the front window for his mom and grandma. Finally Mary's car pulled in, and Tony shouted out the news.

"They're here!" The family mobilized, as they all wanted to say hi to Mom. The living room became a packed room with everyone standing as close to the entrance as possible. Tony broke away, almost running outside to get her bags. He was to her door long before Mary even had the car shut off.

Inside, Tim held LJ as he tried to wriggle down so he could follow Uncle Tony to Gamma. Oded was listening to his cousin whine, and struggled to get to him. Avery finally moved to stand by Tim, letting the two boys push and squeal together. They were getting one another so excited that to let them down before Lydia was settled would be pure disaster. Sarah stood with Jerry, the little boy clinging to her suddenly. He was terrified of seeing Grandma. What if she was sad? Could he make her feel better?

The door opened, and Lydia walked through. Her eyes widened, and she looked at everyone. Silence. One heartbeat. Two heartbeats. And then pandemonium.

"Can I get you something to drink?"

"Here, come sit down."

"Would you like a blanket? Are you cold?"

"Gamma! Gamma!"

"Are you hungry? Would you like to have dinner now, or just a snack?"

"I drew you a picture. It's on your dresser."

"Can I take your jacket?"

Tears filled her eyes as she looked at her family surrounding her with so much love and concern.

"Don't cry, Grandma." Jerry stepped forward and hugged her gently. "We didn't mean to make you cry. We just want to love you."

His grandma hugged him back, sighing as she rocked slowly back and forth.

"I know, baby." She kissed his hair. "And all of you have done so well." When she released him, she was ushered to her rocker, and a new footstool found its way under her feet. The quilt Jethro had given her recently was spread over her. Two little boys crawled up into her lap carefully, obviously warned to be careful and not push on her belly.

"I tell you a 'towy, Gamma?" The question came from Oded.

"I would love a story, Sweetie." Oded sat back, his hands in his lap, as if he was going to impart some great wisdom. Lydia smiled. Her little boys were adorable.

"Once upon a time, at the top of a very tall tree..." and thus began his tale of a little bird who didn't want to go to sleep.

Tim and Tony were setting the table while Ziva and Sarah carried their meal to the table. Abby had been told to rest, so she was laying on the couch, nearly asleep. Lydia smiled gently over at her as her daughter yawned and rubbed at her eyes. LJ fought sleep the same way. With another yawn, Abby was asleep.

Jack was there almost immediately. He covered the younger woman with the afghan on the back of the couch. He turned, taking in the sight of his daughter-in-law cuddled up with his great-grandchildren. It was a sight he never thought he'd see.

"How are you, Lydia? And not the canned version."

"I'm doing," she paused, "OK. I 'm fighting the urge to call him again."

"Why fight it? You could call him every ten minutes if you felt you needed to."

"I don't want to drive him nuts." Jack smiled.

"Call him." He came and helped LJ and Oded down from her lap.

"Grandma needs a minute."

"Why?"

"So she can call Grandpa."

"'K! Love you, Gamma!" was chorused from two little boys.

"Love you, too." She dug her phone from her pocket and dialed.

"Gibbs."

"Hey, Honey."

"Well, hello, Mommy."

"How are they, Daddy?"

"They're doing great, Love." He chuckled. "The nurses just came in to change their NG tubes, and your son decided to kick and squirm unhappily."

"He did?"

"Yep." Jethro sounded positively proud. "And, they got weighed."

"I thought they were going to weigh them tomorrow!"

"The nutritionist needed to see them tonight because she's got a new patient she needs to see tomorrow."

"Oh, if I'd known..."

"Don't beat yourself up, Lydia. I didn't know it, either. I'd have never told you to go home for the night if I knew."

"I know." Lydia wiped tears from her face. Ziva came and knelt before her mother. Lydia smiled at her, nodding her head. It was good news, or seemed to be.

"You there, Lyddie?"

"Yeah, I'm here."

"You ok?"

"Yeah. Just sorry to have missed them being weighed."

"Well, you'll be happy to know that they've gained a few ounces."

"Really?"

"Yep. Tally's up to one pound, eight ounces, and Tuck's one pound three ounces. They've gained a pound a week."

"That's good, right?"

"It's great. The nutritionist wants to change their formula. She says they're ready for more calories every day."

"That's wonderful."

"Yeah, it is. They'll have their team meeting again tomorrow, and she's gonna discuss changing the formula with their pediatrician and GI."

"Oh, Jethro." Her voice broke, and she sat crying, all the while smiling and holding Ziva's hand.

"They're gonna be fine, Mommy. And home before we know it."

Dinner needed to be reheated by the time Lydia got off the phone and shared the happy news with their family. They celebrated the babies weight gain, chatting excitedly, and when Avery started a betting pool about how soon they would be the required three pounds to come home.

"At the rate they're going, I guess they'll be coming home by the time they're four months."

"No!" Tony playfully slapped the table with his hand. "They can't be gone that long! Who cares if it's been a month already? They're Gibbs' Kids! I say two and a half more months. So that makes my bet two weeks closer than yours."

With that, Lydia sat back and smiled at her grown children. Jack came and sat beside her, squeezing her hand. Her mom stood in the door, Oded and LJ clinging to her legs, giggling over some finger play game the older woman had taught them earlier. The game was the perfect combination of touching and seeing, making it fun for both boys. Oded was learning to feel the slight changes in LJ's hand before he moved, and LJ was learning to watch Oded for his movements. Just what the family needed...two more sneakers in training...


	77. Helping Mom Out

Disclaimer: Don't own it...

Note: Thanks to my beta Headbanger Rockstar... this chapter would have been completely impossible without her... bad day... Love you. ptbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb!

Lydia was spending her evening surrounded by her family. Her children made sure she wanted for nothing. If her cup emptied, it was filled. If she shivered, a blanket was put over her. She stood to use the restroom, and as soon as she moved in her chair, both Tim and Avery were at her sides, helping her stand. When she needed to go upstairs, Tim followed her up, making sure she stayed steady on her feet. The girls pampered her with a pedicure and manicure once she was in her room.

"There you go, Mom." Abby was bouncy as usual. "What else would you like?"

"I need a nap." Lydia smiled tiredly. "I really appreciate all you have done for me, but I am tired."

"Do you want one of us with you?"

"No, please." Lydia's eyes filled with tears. "I need to be alone."

"Are you sure? If you need us, we'll stay."

"I need you to go. I'm sure. I need some time alone. Please."

"Are you mad at us?" Ziva stood in the door, not knowing what to do, while Abby stood by their mom in tears. Sarah was already downstairs, completely crushed. Mary gathered her into her arms, getting the story from her youngest grand-daughter.

"I'm not mad, Abby, I'm tired, I'm overwhelmed, and I need a nap!" Her voice rose with each word, and Ziva dragged Abby from the room, both women looking like they'd been whipped.

Mary gathered the girls around her, comforting them and explaining that their Mom wasn't mad. Not really.

"Sweeties, you have to remember that she expected to lose these babies. I talked with her and Jethro nearly every day, and most of the time, she was terrified she'd miscarry, or that the baby would have some other huge horrible problem, and she'd be to blame, as she's the mama." The girls just stared at her. Lydia had hidden all of this from them.

Tony listened to his Grandma speak, and walked up the stairs. He creaked open the door to his mom's room and went in, keeping silent. Lydia was laying still on the bed, her eyes closed, her chest rising and falling slowly. He crept to her side, making sure he didn't wake her up.

On Lydia's end, she was hoping whoever it was would just leave her alone. A hand stroked the hair back from her forehead, and she felt a kiss where it had been.

"Love you, Mom." It was Tony. She cracked her eye open and watched as he knelt by her, settling down to sit on the floor. Without touching or talking, he kept her silent company for hours. For a while, she wondered if she should tell him to leave, but his quiet companionship was surprisingly nice. He sighed at one point, resting his head on her bed. It was as if he could understand how she felt. And was giving her what she needed. She fell asleep, glad to know her family loved her so much.

While Tony sat in silence upstairs with their Mom, the girls sat downstairs talking with their Grandma. They talked about how Hank had treated her, how she had taken care of him even after his infidelity, and they got a clearer picture of Lydia. They had a new appreciation for the woman they now called Mom. She had never shared with them how hard her life had been. How lonely she had been most of the time. That she had learned to love and to love so completely was amazing to them.

When Lydia woke hours later, Tony was still at her side, having fallen asleep with his head resting against her. She slowly stood, enjoying being able to stand without being descended upon as if she were going to shatter.

She may have been frustrated with the girls, but they were trying to help, to show her their love. And she got upset with them. Remorse flooded her, and she let tears fall as she headed to the bathroom. She shut the door, and Tony woke. He looked at the empty bed, considered asking her if she were alright, and decided against it. If she needed help, she would have asked.

Jack looked up as Tony came down the stairs. His grandson gave him a weak smile.

"Sleep well?" Tony nodded, still sort of out of it. "How's your mom?"

"In the bathroom."

"She doing better?"

"I dunno." Tony shrugged, and Mary headed up the stairs. If she knew her daughter, she was beating herself up.

"Lydia?" Mary went into the room, concerned when her daughter didn't answer at all. The bathroom door was still shut, so she walked up to it, knocking softly. "Honey?" Only sniffling met her ears, but the door finally cracked open. "Can I come in?" The door opened farther, and Mary stepped in.

"I messed up again, Mom." Lydia hugged her mom, letting the older woman comfort her.

"What happened, Sweetie? What are you feeling?"

"Like I just chewed out my family, and now they're gonna hate me. Like I just proved I'm not one of them." She was now sobbing against her mother's shoulder.

"Shh, that's not true at all. Shh." Mary rocked back and forth. She knew what was going on, and the best person for the job wasn't here. So it was phone time.

"Gibbs."

"Hey, Jethro, it's Mary."

"Is everything ok? Is Lydia doing alright?"

"Everyone is ok, Jethro, Lydia's a little upset, and needs a hubby fix."

"Is she there with you?"

"Yep, she is." Mary handed Lydia the phone, and let the younger woman begin her conversation as she was led back to her bed.

"Hi." Lydia's voice shook.

"What's goin' on, Honey?"

"I messed up." Her words poured out fast and furious. She told of their children's kindness, of their help, and of how it was nice at first, and then it was overwhelming. She told of trying to think of a nice way to find some quiet, and not being able to communicate it. Then she told him of the girls giving her a manicure and pedicure, and of her demanding quiet afterward.

He was quiet, and she thought he was angry. She began to cry harder, and her mom lay behind her, hugging her loosely. Jethro was at a loss, not wanting to make the situation worse.

"Lydia?"

"Yeah?" He could barely understand the word between her sobs.

"You didn't do anything wrong, Baby. You didn't." He was totally out of his element, and had to stop to gather his words. Emotions. Shit. "Did you get some sleep?"

"Yes."

"Ok, do you think you want some quiet, or do you want a little company?"

"I want to apologize." She fairly wailed into the phone.

"Ok." He waited until she was quiet, and then spoke again. "How do you want to do it?"

"I don't know." She was winding up again. Great.

"Hey, Babe. Shh." He waited until she'd settled again. "I'll give the kids a call, and let them know you'll be down in a bit, ok?"

"Ok."

"Ok. I love you."

"Love you, too." She hiccuped as she tried to stop her tears. The line went dead, and she wished she'd kept him on the phone longer. She was messing everything up.

The house phone rang, and Lydia just listened to it ring. Someone else could get it. She couldn't handle any more people. Not right now.

Downstairs, Tony picked up the handset.

"Gibbs house?"

"Hey, son."

"Hi, Dad!" Tony was fully awake and able to really talk.

"How's it going?"

"Well, we totally overwhelmed Mom without trying to, and she got upset, and now she's hiding in the bathroom." He took a breath, and then cut his dad off. "When she slept earlier, I went in and sat by her as she slept. I messed up, though, I fell asleep, and didn't wake up before her."

"You kept her company, huh?"

"Yeah, I didn't talk, I just sat by her."

"Good job, Tony. Now, I need to give you some instructions, ok?"

"You want me to go get someone else to talk to? Tim or Ziva, maybe?"

"No, son. You can do this."

"Ok." Tony let out a deep breath. "What do you want me to do?"

"Tell Abby and Ziva to make sure the boys get their baths, and have Grandpa make sure everyone eats. Can you do that?"

"Yeah, I can do that."

"Good, and one thing I want you to do."

"Only me?" Tony sounded completely nervous. "What's that?"

"I want you to make sure the others understand that unless Mom wants help, let her do things on her own, ok? She's not mad, but she needs space, just like you when you go to your room."

"Ok, Dad."

"Can you tell me what I just asked you to do?"

"Um, you want me to make sure Grandpa Jack makes dinner, and to make sure no one helps Mom unless she asks, and to have Tim and Ziva give the boys baths, and what was Abby supposed to do?"

"Not freak out."

"Oh, yeah." Jethro smirked. His boy did it—he remembered the whole list. He'd text Tim to make sure it all got relayed after a bit. Especially the part about not smothering Mom.

His tiny babies squirmed a bit, Tucker kicking his feet, a skill he was getting good at. Tallulah had the hand movements down, and she was getting better at moving her arms. They were certainly getting better by the day.

He reached through the holes on the side of his daughter's incubator and stroked her fingers gingerly. The baby stopped moving for a second, seeming to relish her father's touch.

"Hey, Little One." He crooned to her, making sure his voice portrayed none of the worry he felt. "Your Mommy is so worried, and so upset." He stopped for a moment when she started to squirm again. "You're not worried, are you? No. You're not."

He smiled as his baby girl wiggled her head, seeming to tell him no. Jethro spent several more minutes talking to her and stroking her tiny hands. When she relaxed and was asleep, he moved to his son.

The tiny boy was wide awake, but not moving too much. His eyes followed his Daddy as the man moved. When Jethro put his hands in to touch his son, the boy squirmed, his legs kicking with small, quick movements.

"You think your big brother Tony can do it? Yeah?" He smirked as Tucker kept kicking. "I think he can, too. You wanna help me call? Hmm? Or you gonna fall asleep?" Tucker stopped, his little fingers trying to wrap around Jethro's for the first time. "You gonna hold my hand? Yeah?"

His face lit up as Tucker succeeded somewhat. "How awesome is that, huh? You can hold Daddy's hand." Tucker kicked, this time slower. "Getting sleepy? Yeah? Well, I think you should sleep. Yes, I do." He stood with his son in silence for a few more minutes. When the little boy was asleep, he moved on to pull his phone from his pocket.

"Gibbs residence."

"Hey, Dad."

"Leroy! How's the babies?"

"They're doing great, Dad. Sound asleep." Jack chuckled. "How's my family there?"

"They're fine. Lydia's down here, and the kids are doing better at not smothering her. I got dinner in the oven, Tony's directing traffic in the kid's bathroom, and Ziva and Tim are keeping Abby from going ape." He chuckled. "She's a little spitfire, that one."

"Oh, yeah. Just think of what she was like when she had a caffeine addiction."

"No thank you." The men were quiet for a bit. "You doing ok there?"

"Yeah. Kinda lonely. Spent some time talking to the babies."

"Need company?"

"Nope." Jack could hear the smile in his son's voice. "Just take care of my wife."

"You got it."

"Is she near?"

"In the little girl's room. You want me to have her call?"

"Yeah. Just so I can tell her goodnight."

"Ok. Will do."

Ten minutes and six chicken nuggets later, Lydia dialed her husband.

"Hey, Babe." He answered the phone, and she smiled at the sound of his voice.

"You usually answer with 'Gibbs'."

"Well, yeah. Years of habit."

"So why different tonight?" Gibbs chuckled.

"Oh, I knew my wife was gonna call. Thought I'd sound like I was expecting her."

"You greet someone else that way?"

"Yep." Lydia nearly choked. He couldn't be serious. "The Easter Bunny."

"You stinker."

"Good to hear you laugh. You feeling better?"

"Much. Thank you."

"You're welcome. Love you."

"Love you, too." They chatted a bit more, finally hanging up after another "love you".

When the nurse came in to change their formula pouches, she smirked at the silver haired man who held a "Goodnight, Moon" book on his lap. He'd read to the little ones every day, usually four or five stories at least. Their Mommy sang lullaby's, but Daddy read. She was a fan of listening to him get tongue twisted as he ran through "Hop on Pop". Some things were just too precious to be missed.

The entire floor had fallen in love with the couple and their babies. When a steady stream of people had come in one day visiting, it was huge news at the nurses station. Their next youngest child was in her twenties, and they had three grandchildren, the oldest of which was now 11.

She smiled as she thought of the doting adults who had been in so many times since these infant's birth. Not only would they have parents who recognized their miracle status, but they'd have big brothers and sisters and nephews just waiting to dote on them.


	78. First Anniversary

Disclaimer: Don't own it.

Note: Thanks to my friend and beta Headbanger Rockstar! You rock, Dude! Love you! ptbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb!

Note: Thanks to everyone who has read and reviewed! I was without a computer, and couldn't respond to the messages. I'll try to get to everyone, but if I don't, please understand that I read your remarks, but haven't gotten back to you yet. And I'm so behind! THANK YOU!

The doctors had told the Gibbs' that the babies may be able to go home when they reached three pounds depending on their health. The three pound mark came and retreated several times with the babies still in the hospital. But it wasn't all a bad thing. They were using the calories they were taking in to strengthen themselves in many ways. Their lungs were better, their reflexes were catching up, they were now able to nurse without the help of a feeding tube.

They would gain in one area, and lose ounces for their success. Lydia fretted and fussed, watching her diet closely, as she'd been pumping from their birth, and now that they were able to nurse, she wanted to be sure they got the best nutrition. She ate extra proteins, tons of fruits and vegetables, and made sure to take a specialized vitamin for nursing mothers every day without fail.

Jethro would stay with her and their tiny ones for most of the day, going out to take care of things at the house. Tony was spending more and more time at Best Life or with one of his siblings. He was able to spend some evenings alone, while still preferring to have company at bedtime and through the night. He'd slept at Abby and Tims a few times, as well as Ziva's. Mostly, though, he slept at home, sometimes alone, sometimes with either his mom or dad there to keep him company.

Ziva and Avery were putting the final touches to their wedding plans, and were so excited they could barely contain themselves. They had their date picked, and both families waited anxiously for it to come. They had chosen a date five months after their original date. Too close to the original, and they were at her parent's anniversary. To far, and it was Oded's birthday. A little nearer, and it was his parent's anniversary. So after much careful consideration and debating, they decided it was time to just throw darts at the calendar. Lady Luck spoke, and they would be married on a Saturday. Hopefully the babies would be home.

Lydia's due date came, and the babies were struggling to come to the three pound limit. So they remained in the hospital, but were no longer in the intensive care unit. They were fine except for their weight. Jethro watched as their first anniversary crept up on them. She'd mentioned it only once, but he knew how pleased she was. And he was thrilled to have a new start to his life. HIs only worry was that the doctors had decided the babies couldn't come home until they were 5 pounds, as they were struggling so badly to maintain the three. Lydia had been in tears, thinking that her idea of cooking them dinner was completely out the window.

Tucker hit a snag with his weight and was put back in the PICU. Something in Lydia's diet had disagreed with him, and the resulting tummy trouble cost him four precious ounces. He was put back to formula while the doctors tested for food allergies. And the Gibbs' were back to sleeping at the hospital for now.

#########

The morning of their anniversary, Lydia woke to a tickling sensation behind her ear. Her husband was nuzzling in his sleep again. She smirked and tried to fall back to sleep, only to realize Jethro hadn't spent the night. He'd gone home late the night before. Then she smelled the coffee. Opening her eyes, she saw the insulated bag she's bought early on in their friendship when Tony had been in the hospital and she'd brought dinner in for Jethro.

"Good morning." Her voice held her smile, even though he couldn't see her face.

"Good morning." He kissed her neck, making her squirm.

"How long have you been here?"

"Long enough to know that you're beautiful this morning, Tucker is sleeping well, and Tallulah has had a diaper change."

"You've been busy."

"So have you. The nurses told me you'd nurse Tally about 2 hours ago. She'll be wanting a snack again soon."

"Hm, nothing slips past you." She chuckled.

"These sharp Marine sniper eyes." He was laughing as he spoke. He knew what was coming next.

"Oh, those sharp eagle eyes that miss dirty socks, dishes, and I'm sure once we're home, diapers?"

"One and the same." They lay in silence for a few minutes, just listening to the clock tick.

"So. What did you bring for breakfast?"

"Food."

"Smart ass." He kissed her shoulder and stood.

"Get up, and you'll find out." She laughed as she stood, wrapping her robe around her.

They spent their day holding their little ones and discussing food allergies with the doctor. She just needed to avoid strawberries, and Tucker should be fine. They had tested Tallulah as well, and she had no food allergies at the moment.

They ate lunch in the cafeteria, which was normal, yet the attention they paid to one another was more than usual. They walked hand in hand through the hospital garden, stopping at little statues of saints, reading memorial placards, and just enjoying the beauty. When it was time for their little ones to eat, they returned to the nursery, finding both babies still sleeping. Jethro and Lydia waited for them to wake, talking and joking about the babies similarites and differences.

"Imagine this one. My father's nose, your mother's mouth, your ears, and my neck." Jethro started to laugh.

"How about this one, your father's mouth, my mother's ears, your mother's eyes, your neck, and my father's forehead." The comparisons and jokes about looks continued until their children woke.

Jethro watched his wife feed their daughter as he sat feeding their son. He'd never seen a sight so beautiful. He'd missed it with Kelly. He thanked God he saw it now.

When Lydia laid down for a short nap, he pulled out a drawing pad they'd taken to keeping around for their grandchildren. He looked down at her for a moment before putting his pencil to the paper. When he was finished nearly forty minutes later, there was a beautiful representation of his wife and their daughter on the previously blank page. He held it out, squinting. Something was missing. Tucker. While he'd been feeding their son a bottle, he belonged in his mother's arms. So Daddy sketched some more, putting his son next to his daughter. The picture was perfect.

They rose and fed the babies once again, making sure their tiny ones were asleep again before leaving the nursery. They were still required to stay with Tucker, as he was still in the PICU, but they would be able to order in dinner and have it in their room. Gibbs called in their order from a restaurant for steak, potatoes, and to keep his wife happy, steamed vegetables.

Forty minutes later, Jethro was running out to get their dinner, and hurried back. He smiled as he entered the room. He could hear Lydia singing softly in the shower. While it was a habit that annoyed him with most of his ex-wives, he found he enjoyed her songs. They were usually stories or just something amusing. She never sang any of the funeral dirges the others had seemed fascinated with, as if being infatuated with their own voices. She just made a happy noise, and he loved it.

"Is that steak I smell?" Her voice rang out louder from the shower, and his smile grew.

"Yep, all carnivores are jealous of us tonight." She laughed, turning off the water. He poked his head as she was wrapping her hair in a towel. "Nice view."

"You're letting in a draft."

"Oops." He stepped into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him. "And you're covering my favorite view." Lydia rolled her eyes.

"I need to get dry, Jethro."

"How about you let me?" Lydia sighed happily as Jethro began to take care of her. When he led her from the bathroom to their little table, she was dressed in comfy sweats and her bathrobe. He thought she looked downright sexy.

"Dinner smells wonderful." She smiled as she lifted the cover from her container. "Mmm. We should have a first anniversary more often."

"Hm. Not sure how to pull that off." He winked. "We could get divorced, and then remarried. You know, the whole honeymoon could be repeated, too."

"No, you'd like it too much." He glared at her for a moment, making her laugh. She had learned long ago the difference between an angry glare and a "let's fight so we can make up" glare.

They chatted through dinner, happily teasing and testing one another. Lydia started to watch the clock, and Jethro rolled his eyes. Yes, their babies were on schedules. They could be sound asleep, but at that magical tick of the clock signaling the passing of two hours, they were awake and screaming for their next meal. Their celebrating parents had five minutes before their babies woke.

Jethro chomped down the last bit of his potato, smirking as his wife told him to eat some of his vegetables. With a smirk to let her know he had no intention of following through, he told her he'd eat them later. She playfully smacked his butt as they left to take the short walk to the nursery.

Lydia sat with both babies held to her after they had been fed. Gibbs watched his wife rock their babies, singing softly. He was glad one of them had a good voice. He'd given up singing years ago. The memory of Kelly looking at him as he sang her a lullaby, her little fingers plugging her ears still made him alternately cringe and chuckle. He had no desire to repeat that performance.

"What?" When she looked up at him, he had the funniest look on his face. "You look like you're going to either laugh or cry."

"Just thinking of how lucky I am." He stood and helped her put their sleeping bundles back into their cribs. "They're getting so big." He whispered, even though he knew the babies could sleep through anything. They had already slept through several alarms for other babies, and they had even slept through diaper changes and room moves. Just don't let them wait for a meal.

Several minutes later, they lay in bed, spooning closely. Night times were sleep as they could between feedings, and tonight was no different. The nursing staff had offered to give the babies bottles, but the Gibbs' decided they would rather care for their little ones themselves. It was still early to sleep, but it was a good time to just rest. Jethro didn't need it so much, but he was convinced his wife needed all she could get.

They talked softly, discussing what the doctor had told them earlier that day. Cutting out strawberries would be easy to do. Once it was out of her system, she could go back to nursing Tucker.

"I'm glad the fix is that simple, but I'm disappointed, too." Lydia turned a little and looked back at him over her shoulder.

"Disappointed? Why?"

"I won't get to feed Tucker anymore." He kissed her shoulder. "It was something I could do. Kind of like having time for just us. Something special for only my boy and me."

"You're such a sweet man, you know that?" Lydia took his hand in hers, pulling it up to press a kiss to his calloused fingers. Only, they weren't as calloused as they had been. "Have you stopped woodworking?" They hadn't had a chance for much contact in the last couple of days, and the softness was unexpected.

"No, I'm still working down there." He smiled against her hair. "I've got to get that second bassinette finished before the babies come home." His hand slipped from hers and wormed itself under her shirt. He stroked her stomach lightly as he asked if they were still going to have the twins share a crib for a bit, or if he needed to make a second.

"I think we'll still have them share for a bit. The nurses have said that twins do better if they're together." He continued his gentle stroking of her stomach. "Your hands are so different. I like it." She yawned. "How did you get them softer?" Her husband chuckled as he shifted, obviously embarrassed.

"I picked up your red shirt, you know, the silky one, and my fingers snagged on it." He cleared his throat. "So I used some of that sandy stuff you use on your hands." Lydia fought the urge to laugh. "Tony caught me, and I made him promise to not tell anyone else."

"He got a kick out of that, did he?"

"You have no idea."

"So, snagging my shirt had you doing this?"

"No, snagging your shirt made me think of the babies, and how tender their skin is, and that got me worried about scratching them during bath time, or diaper changes."

Lydia turned over, lying on her back as she looked up at Jethro. He quirked an eyebrow.

"You surprise me, you know that?" He just grinned that boyish grin that made her melt. Twenty minutes and several kisses later, it was time once again to go feed the babies. Jethro held his daughter this time as Lydia burped Tucker. His little girl was beautiful.

He smiled at her, talking nonsense as her brother struggled to bring up the last of his air bubble. Tally gurgled and cooed, making her Daddy smile and talk to her more. Finally, his little girl yawned. She stretched, her arms flying out wide as her back arched. She yawned again, smiling as she wet herself. A little whine, and her daddy was on his feet, heading over to the changing table.

Lydia watched in amusement as Jethro carefully changed his little girl, being so careful that she was sure if he was changing Tucker, he would have been peed on already. Her son was not patient. Jethro played with Tallulah, pretending to sniff her feet, making faces as he backed away from her. His little girl squealed in joy as her Daddy played and pretended.

Tucker finally burped after several minutes of misery. The tiny boy finally stopped screaming and collapsed against his Mommy. A few sighs, and he was asleep. Jethro put Tallulah to his shoulder and began rocking her slowly, patting her back softly. Not long after, she slept as well. Their parents returned to their room.

Lydia snuggled back against Jethro, his arm over her stomach once again. They were silent as she nearly fell asleep. His fingers began tracing her stomach again, finally coming to stroke at her C-section scar.

"I'm sorry." His voice was so quiet she nearly missed it.

"What? Why?"

"This." His fingertips ran over her scar once again. "I'm so thankful for the babies, and yet I'm so sorry to have cost you so much." His voice shook, and she decided to hear him out. This was obviously important to him. "I know how much it hurt you to lose the first ovary after Hank beat you. And because I messed up somehow, you've lost more. And I'm so sorry."

"How did you mess up?" He shrugged in response. "You don't know because you didn't, Honey. You didn't mess up at all." She turned in his arms, pushing him a bit so he rolled onto his back. She leaned up on her elbow, her other hand resting on his chest. "I'm not sorry at all, Jethro. We have two incredible blessings, we have one another, and we have our health."

"But you lost…"

"All that happened was I lost a uterus. A uterus that hadn't done anything in years." She leaned down to kiss him. "And without you taking care of all three of us, we wouldn't be here. Not me, not the babies." Tears slipped from his eyes as she spoke. "You didn't hurt me, Jethro, you gave me my wildest dream. Twice over."

That night, they made love for the first time since the babies were born. When he slipped into her heat, she gasped and held him tight, her legs wrapped tightly around him. Whispered confirmations of love filled the air as they moved together. They climaxed within seconds of one another, their mouths greedily feasting on the other.

"Happy anniversary, Mommy." Jethro smiled down at her as he lay connected with her.

"I love you, Daddy. Happy anniversary."


	79. Home At Last

Disclaimer: Still don't own it!

Note: Thanks to my amazing beta, Headbanger Rockstar! Love you, dude! !

Note: Sorry to take so long... the UnGibbs Clan decided as a whole to hide behind a curtain and not talk to me. lol I'll try to get the Muse to allow them to talk. :) Sorry to take so long, and please forgive the silence. Thanks to everyone still reading and enjoying!

The babies had maintained 5 pounds for a full week, and were allowed to go home. Both were nursing, both were sleeping through most of the night, and both were completely adorable. Lydia had made necessary changes to her diet, and with those changes, no more setbacks had been suffered.

Jethro drove slowly, almost seeming to be afraid of bumps. For the first time in months, his wife sat by his side, her hand resting on his thigh. The twins were sleeping with their little pacifiers fastened to their tiny jackets in case they woke and needed a "fix".

They pulled into their drive and got the babies out. Jethro carried Tucker and the diaper bags while Lydia carried Tallulah. There weren't any cars outside, but neither of them had any doubt that once they called to say they were home and settled that their house would be a flurry of activity.

Lydia set the carrier with her daughter in it down on the kitchen table next to the one that held her brother. It was amazing how close in size they were. Once her diet had been corrected, Tucker had gained weight at an almost astounding rate.

It seemed surreal to have them home. Jethro held his wife close to his chest, his arms wrapped around her waist, as they looked down at their tiny ones. Her fingers laced with his, and silence was the best celebration they knew. It wasn't a silence of fright or nerves, but a silence born of contentment.

Lydia moved her head to cradle against his neck, and he pressed a kiss to her temple.

"Love you." Her voice was whispered and broken.

"Love you, too." He was quiet a moment. "Why the tears?"

"I don't know." She shook her head and wiped her eyes. Turning in his arms after a moment, she met his eyes. "Can something be too perfect?" Jethro smirked and pecked her lips.

"Nope. Not if you're involved in it." Her head dropped to his chest, and they continued to simply enjoy the peace of having their babies home. Both wanted to put them in their crib, but didn't want to wake them up, and were afraid that if they moved them, they'd wake.

Twenty minutes and several kisses and whispers later, the babies woke. Their movements were slow and smooth. Tally yawned, her hands covering her mouth, while Tucker had his tiny fists next to his head as his back arched. Two little sets of icy blue eyes finally opened and looked up. Four smiles filled the room.

"Welcome home, Little Ones." Lydia's voice was filled with more love and peace than he'd heard it in a long time. "It's about time, huh?"

As if responding to her words, they jerked their legs and arms. Jethro chuckled. He had to remind himself that they were already 6 months old. They were still smaller than Kelly had been at birth, but they had the same goofy facial expressions and attempts at new noises that she'd had then.

"Is Daddy laughing at you?" Lydia teased, and the babies smiled more and scooted their bottoms in their seats. "Yes, he is, isn't he?" Jethro watched with pleasure as his family played. "Silly Daddy."

"I bet you want out of your seats, huh?" This question came from Daddy. They looked serious for a moment before going back to playing. "Well, good. Cuz Daddy wants to hold you. Yes, he does."

As Jethro and Lydia took their little ones out of their carriers, Tim and Tony exited the movie theater. Tony'd been wanting to see anything that wasn't animated. He loved watching movies with the boys, but he wanted a "grown up" movie. Tim had vetoed several movies, finally agreeing to watch one that was PG-13. Tony began to regret his decision at one point, but a hand to his arm made him relax. Tim had his six. It was just a movie, not real, and he didn't need to be afraid. A few minutes later, they got up and left when there was another violent moment. Tony had been the first to stand. Tim was proud of his brother for taking charge of his evening like that.

"You need to go home?"

"Maybe. Just to see if they're home yet." Tony grinned.

"You know something I don't know?"

"Maybe." Tony was enjoying this far too much.

"Come on. Don't be a tease."

"You know I'm always a tease." Tim huffed and playfully punched Tony's shoulder. "Ouch! I'm gonna tell Dad."

"Yeah, and he'll slap you for teasing me."

"Oh, yeah. Never mind." Both men laughed as they pulled out of the parking lot.

"So, what did you want to check on at home?"

"Well, if you must pry…"

"Oh, I must, I must…" Tony grinned. Tim was getting better at movie references, and the lines from Blazing Saddles proved it.

"Mom and Dad said the babies may be able to come home today."

"What? They didn't say anything!"

"They didn't want to get everybody's hopes up like last time." Tim was quiet for a moment before nodding. He could understand that.

"Yeah, those two had a hard time of it."

"Yeah. Good thing Abby went full term, huh?"

"Sure thing." Tim grinned. He loved having a new baby in the house. Little Hannah was as happy as LJ had been, and Abby was beyond happy that Tally would have another girl to play with.

The two men chatted about babies and birth weights as they headed to the Gibbs' residence. As they neared, both could see their dad's yellow Charger sitting in the drive. Tony grinned. They were home.

He got out of the car as soon as Tim threw it into park. He fairly ran up the steps, but stopped on the porch. He turned to his brother and motioned for the man to be quiet. Tim nodded and stepped forward quietly. After watching for several minutes, they decided they'd not intrude.

Jethro and Lydia were cuddled together on the couch, each holding a baby. The new parent's hadn't even looked up, not noticing the noise created when their sons had pounded up the stairs. Tim and Tony grinned to one another, nodding. It was time to call the family. And Tim's house could be "Calm Down Central".

While those two made calls, Jethro and Lydia whispered hopes to one another for their children. Dreams of playing football and attending dance recitals flew back and forth between the parents. Jethro wondered if Tucker would follow in his footsteps and become a Marine, and he had no doubt that his little girl would be the prettiest girl in her class, and that he'd be beating boys away from her by the time she was in kindergarten. Lydia chuckled and told him she'd have a boyfriend by preschool.

"She'd better not." He grinned. "With me for a Daddy and big brothers like Tim and Tony, no boy stands a chance." Lydia scoffed at him, smiling the whole time. "Not until he has a college degree, anyway." There was a pause. "In something safe. So he'll be home every night for dinner, can provide for my grandbabies, and he's got to be smart with money. Not running up debts he can't pay."

"You've got one tall order there, Jethro."

"Yeah, and what would you want?" She was quiet for a moment, and then looked up at him.

"To be happy, Jethro. Whether Tucker grows up to be a sniper and investigator like his Daddy, or if he's an accountant, I want him to know he's loved and is content. And for Tallulah, I want her to be just as happy. I don't care if she wants to be a homemaker, or a teacher, and even if she's going to grow up to be a sailor or a biker or a Marine, I want her to know she's just as loved for who she is."

Gibbs leaned over and kissed his wife. Several soft brushes of their lips later, he spoke once again.

"Well, then, we better make sure they never doubt it, Babe. Never."


	80. Meeting the Family

Disclaimer: Don't own it.

Note: Thanks to Headbanger Rockstar for being my awesome beta!

Note: Thanks to everyone who has favorited, alerted, or read. I'm slow in writing chapters these days, hopefully it'll pick up. Lol They're still hiding from me.

########################################

LJ McGee and Oded David were nearly four. They could get dressed on their own, and put their shoes on their right feet. They could make their teachers pull out their hair in frustration when they went into that silent way of communicating they had developed as babies, or they could have their teachers laughing at pictures and puzzles they somehow managed to create together.

To people who didn't know them, Oded seemed to be without any handicap. When he was with his cousin, they ran around, colored, and made messes with things adults couldn't figure out how they got in to. But the one thing that confounded them was babies.

LJ had a new baby sister, but she was bigger than Pop-pop and Gamma's babies.

"Whewe do babies come fwom?" LJ looked up to his Pop-pop with complete seriousness. Gamma snickered from behind them.

"Well, Pop-pop?" Her voice held her laughter. Gibbs swallowed his coffee, careful to not spit it out on his grandsons. He forgot they asked questions dozens of times over until they got answers.

"Why don't you ask your Mommy?" Oded came and joined them. He had the answer.

"Auntie Abby said to ask our Daddies."

"Ok, and what did they say?"

"To ask you." Gibbs eyes widened. McGee was going to die.

"That's not what I said, little man." Tim came in from the backyard where he and Tony had been planting new rose bushes. "I said you needed to wait."

"Yeah. Until I older." LJ grinned. "Pop-pop's older than you, and I asked you yesterday. So I waited."

"You get that from your mother." Tim rolled his eyes. "You have to wait. As in you have to wait until you are ten."

"How big is ten?"

"Big. Like, Jerry big." Both boys visibly wilted. Oded finally broke the sad silence.

"Now we'll never know." LJ put his hands on his hips.

"Don't laugh!" He glared at all of the adults as he and Oded left.

#######################################

"_Hey," _Tucker looked over to his sister. _"Who are all of these people."_

"_I have no idea. We heard their voices, remember? When we were still in Mommy?"_

"_Yeah. But who are they? Are they our brothers and sisters that Mommy and Daddy told us about?"_

"_No way."_ Tallulah scoffed. _"They're huge! We're tiny. If we have brothers and sisters, they've got to be our size."_

"_You sure?"_

"_I'm 2 minutes older than you. Of course I'm sure."_

Abby came over and turned on the music in the third swing. She put a new baby in it, and the twins looked over, fascinated. There were _more_ people their size. The new baby grinned and wiggled her feet and head in greeting.

"_Hi! I'm Hannah."_

"_I'm Tucker, and this is my sister Tallulah."_

"_I know who you are."_ Hannah cooed happily.

"_You do?" _

"_Yeah. Everyone knows who you are."_ Her feet smacked together with glee. _"You're Gamma an' Pop-pop's new babies."_

"_Mommy an' Daddy? You know our Mommy and Daddy?"_ Tallulah spoke up.

"_Yep." _Hannah looked pleased. _"My Mommy is your big sister!"_

"_No way!"_

"_Yes, way." _Hannah gurgled happily. _"That man with the sandy brown hair picking up that big boy?" _She waited for the twins nods. _"That's Uncle Tony. He's your big brother. He lives here, but he likes to play with my big brother LJ and our cousin, Oded."_ She pointed out each individual as she talked about them.

The twins learned that Oded belonged to Ziva and Avery, and that his eyes still didn't work but that he could play and was just like LJ. LJ and Oded have been best friends since they were babies.

Jerry belonged to Sarah, but not to Tony. Tony and Sara seemed to be brother and sister, but neither Oded nor LJ were positive.

"_So all of those big people are our brothers and sisters?"_

"_Yep, and the rest of us are your nephews."_

"_But you're a girl."_

"_I think I'm a nephew. I'm not sure."_

Abby motioned to Tony, who started to tape the three babies. Their faces switched expressions and they giggled and blew bubbles in a repeat of LJ and Oded's conversations.

"I wonder what they're talking about?" Abby stood by her brother, her head leaning on his shoulder.

"I don't know. Maybe they can translate this for us when they grow up." Sarah grinned as she joined them.

"Perhaps, but I doubt it. I wonder if the boys could do it."

"Are you kidding?" Tony smirked. "They've got some oath to not share." The three of them laughed, especially when all three of the babies looked at them and squealed.

########################################

Lydia and Jethro had reclaimed their seats on the couch, watching as their family passed the babies around. When Lydia was finally passed Hannah, she talked to the baby, getting wide-eyed giggles as she asked if her Daddy was still making messes.

Hannah was excited. She had her Gamma all to herself, and her Gamma was great. She was happy, and she was smiling, and when Pop-pop started to talk to her, too, life was complete. She sighed in contentment and fell asleep, feeling the love.

########################################

Tally and Tucker lay in their crib long after everyone had gone to bed. Mommy and Daddy had fed them and changed their diapers, rocking them until they were asleep. They were awake again, but not yet ready for their next snack.

"_Tucker?"_

"_Yeah?" _

"_What do you think of our whole family?"_

"_I like them."_ Tally yawned. "_They're nice."_

"_They are." _Tucker started to drift off to sleep.

"_Don't go to sleep yet."_

"_Why not?"_

"_It's almost time for breakfast." _Tally sniffled as she said it. _"My diaper is wet, and my tummy hurts."_

Lydia and Jethro groaned as twin wails sounded from the nursery. Within minutes, the parents were dressed and had the babies changed and ready for their meals. She sat down to nurse and he handed her both babies. He stood in the door, leaning on the frame, a smile gracing his face.

"What are you thinking about, Mister Gibbs?"

"Just glad that we're all home." He came when Tucker was asleep and picked him up, patting his son's tiny back. A quiet burp, and Tucker was back in his crib. Lydia rocked Tally as she burped her, and once again, their daughter fought sleep.

"You're just a live wire, aren't you?" Jethro teased quietly.

"Yep." Lydia smiled. "Tell Daddy that you just don't want to miss anything." Tally giggled and kicked her legs. "Yeah. You just want to see it all." Another yawn, and she was asleep.


	81. Chapter 81

Disclaimer: Don't own it. Wish I did, but I don't.

Note: Thanks to Headbanger Rockstar, my amazing beta! Love you! Ptbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb!

Note: I apologize to everyone who reads this story for how long it's taken me to update. They weren't talking, and then when they were, I was too ill to write. Please say a prayer for me for a good recovery. And now, I'll stop rambling and let you read!

#####################################

Ziva stood at the back of her synagogue with her Dad. Gibbs smiled as he helped her adjust her veil.

"You've come a long way, Ziver." He kissed her cheek. "Proud 'a ya."

"I'm nervous, Gibbs."

"I'd be worried if you weren't." He smiled down at his youngest. "This is the second biggest day of your life. The first was when you brought Oded home. You were scared then, too, but just like that was the best thing you'd ever done, I think this is gonna be just like that."

His thumbs traced gently under her eyes. "Don't start crying, Baby Girl. That pretty make-up will run." Ziva chuckled.

"Thank you, Abba."

Their faces glowed as the wedding march began. Ziva set her eyes on her beloved, who stood waiting for her. They had agreed on a mixed wedding, using some Christian traditions, and some Jewish. Beside Avery, Oded stood, rocking softly to the same slow tempo of the music. The boy was his Daddy's Best Man, and was proud and thrilled to be included in such a special and important way. He didn't understand what everything meant, but he knew they were becoming a real family today, and he had an important job. He was to stand at his parent's side, and when it was time, he was to say his own "I do".

Ziva walked slowly beside her adoptive father, her mind far more settled than she'd expected. She thought of Eli, yet had no more feeling for him than if he'd been a stranger. For that was all he ever really had been. Only before, she'd given him power. He had none now. His reign of terror over her had ended, and she and her family had been safe for years.

A glance to Oded had her smiling. He was standing far stiller than he usually did. Even so, he swayed gently side to side. He looked so handsome in his little tuxedo. Opposite to him stood Abby, her gown matching Oded's cummerbund and bow-tie.

The short walk was over, and Gibbs stood by her, waiting for the Rabbi to begin. With a traditional prayer, he went on to speak of marriage and its sanctity. Gibbs felt Ziva's hand shake slightly, and squeezed gently, reminding her in his own way that just as he was beside her now as her father, he would be there forever. She squeezed back, her fingers gripping his tightly for a moment.

"Who gives this woman to be married?"

"Her mother and I." Gibbs spoke clearly, his voice ringing through the sanctuary.

"And do you, Oded, as her son, agree to join with this man, Avery MacDuff, as a family?"

"I do." Oded spoke just as clearly as his grandpa, knowing without needing vision that his family was smiling and happy. He could fairly feel the pride and joy filling the air.

Tony sat on one side of Lydia, helping to keep the babies happy while Gibbs fulfilled his duty as a father. Once he was seated, Tucker reached out for him, and Jethro snuggled his baby boy close as they watched their family grow once more.

Lydia leaned into his side, tears standing in her eyes, her hand in her husband's. Tally fussed quietly, so she took her from Tony, shushing the tiny girl. She and Jethro hadn't intended to bring the babies, but Ziva and Avery had informed them that the babies were a necessary part of their day. After all, they were family, and it wouldn't do for the very people who had delayed their wedding to miss it.

Tim sat with LJ on his lap, the little boy whispering the same questions that had been answered the previous evening during the rehearsal. Tim shushed him gently, reminding him that he needed to be quiet now, and that he could ask later. LJ held his hands in front of his mouth, his eyes wide as he realized he'd forgotten that his Daddy had already promised to answer questions later. Tim kissed his ear, letting his son know that he wasn't upset. Beside him, Hannah slept soundly in her carrier. They'd been blessed with two happy and easy babies, for which the couple was thankful for.

Ziva and Avery had joined hands, repeating most of the time honored phrases, each reflecting on how they'd come to understand what the words actually meant.

"Do you, Avery MacDuff, take Ziva Sarai David to be your wife?" Avery gave his ascent. "Do you promise to love, protect, and cherish her, whether in good fortune or adversity and to seek a life with her hallowed by the faith of Israel?"

Ziva's eyes closed briefly as her beloved spoke the words that would bind them. Only two, but so simple. "I do."

Her mind flashed to Gibbs carrying Lydia up the stairs only days after the babies had come home. She'd fallen asleep on the couch, and he hadn't wanted to wake her. Another flash, and she remembered Tim telling her about how Abby had nursed him back to health after his bout with bronchitis. Their anniversary stories with no money had fueled her secret romantic side for years, and she knew without a doubt that she could love Avery with that sort of devotion for all of her days.

As Ziva spoke of her devotion to him moments later, Avery thought of his grandparents, and how both his mom and dad had come from homes filled with love and laughter. Games and little surprises had made his grandmother smile, and he had already seen Ziva's reaction to little unexpected gifts. Oded was a joy, and he was so excited and yet worried about stepping into the role of the boy's father permanently. He'd wondered if he'd be good enough. And then the little boy had crawled into bed with them during a storm, and had snuggled close. One day at a time was the way life was, and that was how he could handle being a husband and father. One day at a time. Yesterday's pain would have no place in tomorrow's joy. That had been his grandpa's motto, and it would now be his.

After what seemed an eternity that passed in seconds, Avery was told to kiss his bride. He lifted her veil slowly, his hands shaking slightly. With a few words, two golden rings and a promise before God and man, she had gone from his girlfriend to his wife.

"I love you." He whispered softly for her ears only just before he pressed his lips chastely to hers.

Applause let Oded know he could clap and cheer now, and he did with great abandon. Gibbs and Lydia laughed. His new Grandpa MacDuff had paid him a whole dollar to cheer as loud as he could when he heard clapping. Ziva and Avery picked him up, hugging him between them.

#########################################

Nearly a month later, Eli sat in his office, a parcel from Ziva sitting before him. It wasn't large, and he wondered what she could possibly have to send to him. If she was to return, she would have done it long ago. Perhaps it was some sort of peace offering, and a request for him to have a place in her and that little boy's life. However, he knew his daughter was as stubborn as he.

A letter lay on top, and he opened the envelope with slightly shaking hands. It was not addressed to "Abba" or "Father", but to "Eli". For some reason, that bothered him. Perhaps he had missed her after all, and not just for her usefulness.

_Eli,_

_I wanted to thank you for giving me this precious boy. Oded has changed my life for the better in so many ways. I realize you meant for the responsibility of a "disabled" child to drive me back to you for help, and thus entrap me in your web once again._

_But Jehovah, who protected me while in your service, turned your plan around and gave me a freedom I never expected. Oded is so gifted, and he is such a gift. Thank you for giving him to me. I have enrolled him in day school at our synagogue, and he is learning Hebrew along with the history of our proud nation. _

_We have an addition to our little family, and I've sent a video of us. This is as close as I will welcome you into our lives, which is heartbreaking on one hand, and yet liberating on the other. It is heartbreaking because I spent years trying to earn your love, and liberating because I've finally understood that I never truly will, and have no more need of trying._

_Ziva MacDuff_

Eli looked at her last name once more before putting the DVD into his disk drive. His jaw clenched as he watched Jethro Gibbs walk his daughter down the aisle. Anger built in him, fueled as he heard the arrogant American give his daughter away in marriage. Seconds later, a new anger nearly made him crumble.

This wasn't anger toward Ziva, Gibbs, or the admittedly adorable young boy rocking side to side softly, listening intently to the words being spoken. This was anger towards himself. The realization that he could have been there with her had he chosen to let her go and been the Abba she wanted instead of the Director of Mossad who wanted her skills. For several hours, he watched the video over and over.


	82. Chapter 82

Disclaimer: Don't own it.

Note: Thanks to Headbanger Rockstar for being an amazing beta! I love you! Ptbbbbbbbbb!

Note: I'm sad to see this story come to a close. But we're almost there. Just one more chapter. Sorry it's taken me so long. They just stopped talking for a long time. I also have to admit that I'm posting this before Headbanger gets to look at it, so any mistakes are mine. :) I just got impatient. How dare she sleep. lol

##########################

Tony walked into Best Life at his usual easy pace. Sarah was coming along behind him, her arms as loaded as his. It was once again the last Friday of the month, and it had become a tradition for Tony to supply lunch for the volunteers on this day.

It didn't matter if you painted a room, fixed a light fixture, swept the floors, or performed surgeries. If you were giving your time, Tony gave you lunch. A group favorite had quickly become lasagna and chicken primavera from an Italian restaurant just down the block, and he often coaxed his little sister into helping him tote the massive quantities of food into the community room.

The location he "worked" at was still the headquarters of Best Life and New Hope, but they'd grown to have six locations throughout the state, along with several partner agencies that had opened with similar goals and often different programs than they themselves offered. It was with pleasure that Breena and Sarah could point nervous yet hopeful low-income or single parents to their partner agencies, for each person they sent for more help than what they could offer was one more family who had a fighting chance at getting ahead.

He barely had his load of heated aluminum pans set down before two bodies crashed into him.

"Uncle Tony!" He smiled down at his nephews. "You're here!" LJ was as talkative as his mom, and seemed to be able to speak twice as fast.

"Of course I am. But do you remember what we talked about?"

"Yes." Oded sighed. "We have to be sure you don't have anything in your hands when we try to tackle you." The five year old practically moaned the words, and Sarah did her best to hide her smile behind her hand.

"That's right." Tony tweaked their noses. "You two almost made it this time! I was still bent over the table, but my hands were mostly off of it."

"So we did do it!" LJ wasn't about to be deterred by something as little as an "almost".

"I guess so." Tony shrugged, knowing he'd been had. The two cheered before dragging their uncle over to meet their new friend.

"Uncle Tony, this is Gary." Oded spoke slower and certainly more clearly. He held out his hand and put it on the arm of the wheelchair his friend sat in. "He's here because he hurt his back."

"Hi, I'm Tony." There was no response. "How did you get hurt, Gary?" Gary looked down at his lap for a moment, his lip in his teeth. "You don't have to tell me, it's ok." Tony winked at the little boy before wrapping his arms around his nephews.

"So, boys, are we inviting Gary for lunch with us today?"

"Yeah!" Gary's face beamed as his friends cheered. He'd not known that coming to a hospital could be nice. And the best part was that his daddy hadn't shown up at all so far.

"So, is your Mommy or Daddy around here? We need to make sure it's ok with them."

"My Mommy's here." Gary's voice was soft. "She's painting the new chairs for the toy room."

"Oh, well, that means she's a volunteer." At the little boy's confused look, Tony explained, "A volunteer is someone who helps."

"Like the people at the shelter help Mommy now?"

"Yes. Do you and your Mommy live in a shelter?"

"Yeah." Gary rubbed his eyes, yawning. "We left one day when Daddy was at work. Mommy says we're safe now."

"Well, I'm glad you're safe, Bud." Tony ruffled the boy's hair. "I'm gonna go check with your mommy, so she doesn't worry about where you are, ok?"

"Ok." Gary smiled as a nurse approached.

"We've got to take you back to your room for lunch now, Sweetie."

"Oh." His face fell, and he shot sat eyes to Tony. "Gotta go, I guess."

"Oh, Mr. DiNozzo." Patty nodded to her boss. "I didn't realize he was talking to you. I thought he was just chatting with another new friend, courtesy of your nephews."

"Well, he is." Tony stood up. "I'm his new friend, and I just asked he and his Mommy to join us for lunch. Does he have any restrictions?"

"Absolutely none." Patty blew Gary a kiss as she walked away. "Have a fun time!"

"Thank you! I will!" Gary's face beamed with happiness, nodding when LJ asked if he wanted to go play.

"Grandma!" LJ hollered out. "We're ready to go back to the toy room!"

"How many times have I told you to not shout, young man?" Lydia came around the corner. "Hi, Tony. Do you need anything else brought over?"

"Nope. Just his Mommy."

"She'll be with me." Lydia winked. "I left the babies at home with Daddy today."

"Will we still have a house?" Gary had no idea why the two adults were laughing, but they sure were fun.

################################

Haley finished the chair she was working on just as Lydia came in. She knew the woman was somehow connected to the business in some way, but had assumed that she was a volunteer, paying off in a way, the medical bills for her two little miracle babies.

"Come on, Haley, lunch is ready, and your little man will be having lunch with us."

"I can go eat with him, Lydia. He's messy sometimes."

"Are you kidding me? I've got the grandkids here, Tony's already got lunch set out, and as soon as we collect the munchkins and get them washed, we can eat. Don't worry about the messes. We have them all the time."

"Are you sure?"

"Absolutely. Besides, Tony invited him already, and I'll not be making a fuss with those boys if we tell them no now."

"Wait, Tony, as in Tony who built this place?"

"One and the same." Lydia smiled. "This place is his brain child. Well, mostly. He had the idea, and we girls took it over at the kitchen table."

"You're serious." Lydia had talked about how the organization had grown, and how professionals and lay people alike gave time and money to keep it going, but never once had she let on that she was instrumental in its beginnings or that her son was the owner.

"It's not that important." Lydia shrugged. "What's important is that people help, and the money was there to get started. It's important that people are able to get help, and that families are improving. That's all that matters."

"Wow. I'd be proud."

"I am proud. We all are. We just agree, as a family, that the whole thing is what we're proud of." Haley thought that over as she followed to the play room, and had to agree that Lydia was right. The humility was a part of why this whole thing worked. Never once had she been made to feel second-class.

##########################################

Tony greeted Haley and Gary as he served them plates piled high with gooey lasagna and garlic bread. Styrofoam bowls filled with salad sat down at the end of the tables in neat rows. He carried a second salad to their table when he saw that they were going to share one of the small salads.

"There's plenty. Eat up." He winked at Gary, and the boy tried to wink back.

Sarah and Lydia got LJ, Oded, and Jerry eating before they sat. Sarah rolled her eyes as the first of the cups was knocked over. Oded ended up with a damp lap, LJ managed to drop sauce down his front, and Tony was searching for the roll of paper towels he knew he had set somewhere.

"See, I told you that messes aren't any problem." Haley chuckled as she continued cutting Gary's meal for him.

The large room was soon filled with volunteers, and Haley watched with fascination as women she knew from the shelter sat and talked easily with doctors and nurses. There didn't seem to be any social differences among the group. Were it not for worn clothes or stains, she'd have not known the difference between most of the group.

"So, Gary tells me you're staying at the shelter?" Tony plopped down by his family, which had expanded to his new friends for the day."

"Yes." Haley blushed. "My husband got into drugs. I needed to get Gary somewhere safe."

"What about you? Didn't you need to be safe, too?"

"I made my choice." Her voice was quiet. "I knew he drank, and that most of his friends were druggies."

"You still didn't deserve it. When you're ready, I'll have you talk to a woman who was in an abusive relationship for years before she found freedom and a new life."

He looked to his mom, who nodded. Of course she'd talk to Haley. She'd planned on it already. The younger woman just wasn't ready to hear her story yet. After all, they had only been gone for a few days.

######################################

Haley became a regular around Best Life, volunteering in the laundry room, cleaning the bathrooms, and any other task that no one else really wanted to do. She'd happily take out trash, clean up puke, or park cars in the snow. It didn't matter, she just wanted to help.

Gary, on his end, grew stronger and was soon on his feet and running around with his best buddies LJ and Oded. He often stayed over at the Gibbs' house on Saturday nights with the rest of the grandkids, allowing the parents a free evening.

Tony started to take Haley shopping and then for dinner on those nights. She was afraid to spend too much, and he would roll his eyes and fill the cart with more. Two months of those weekends, and he gathered up the courage to ask her on a date.

Lydia laughed at him as he readied to go out.

"You've already been taking her to dinner for months, Tony."

"I know, but now we're going _out_ out. I want to look good."

"You are such a goof."

"But I'm a good looking goof." He wiggled his eyebrows.

"True." Gibbs just rolled his eyes. "Here's your tie."

"Thanks, Dad." Tony grinned. "Her annulment was final yesterday. She's officially single."

"Good. I'd have had a problem with you dating her if she was still married." Tony met his dad's eyes.

"I know. That's one of the reasons I respect you so much. You're nothing like _him._"

####################################

Tony wasn't expecting to find Haley in tears when he arrived to pick her up. She wasn't ready to go, and Gary was playing with his toys.

"Are you gonna take me to Grandpa and Grandma's?" The boy stood, his smile beaming.

"Sure am." Tony bent down and hugged him. "Why don't you go get your weekend bag while I talk to Mommy?"

"Ok."

"What's wrong?"

"I can't go out with you, Tony."

"What? Why?" Haley swallowed hard and stood, wrapping her arms around herself.

"I'm pregnant. He made me...the night before we left, and I'm…" She sat down on the couch, dissolving into tears.

Tony sat stunned for a moment, but his mind settled on one thing. If he knew Gary would be a part of his life forever if he and Haley ever married, why not just accept this new child? Sure, he wasn't sure he was ready for a baby in his life, but he'd survived the twins and his nephews and his niece. One more was just that…one more.

"So? You still need to go shopping, you still need some time out, and you need to relax." He smiled as he brushed a tear from her cheek. "So go change while I take Gary to my parent's house, and then we'll go."

"I can't ask you to do this, Tony."

"You're asking me to do something?"

"I'm a package deal, Tony, and I just got more baggage."

"Yeah, you're a package deal. And a baby isn't ever baggage. I don't know if we'll decide to date or to just be friends, but I'm here. And I'm staying here. We can figure out the rest as we go along."


	83. Chapter 83

Disclaimer: Don't own it.

Note: Thanks to Headbanger Rockstar for being my amazing and patient beta! You're awesome!

Note: Thanks to everyone who has read and followed this story! Sorry it took so long to finish, and thanks for your patience!

###########################

Gibbs snuggled into his wife of twenty years. He smiled as he felt her settle closer to him, knowing she'd not roused completely. He found it hard to believe that they'd been married for that long.

Their family would be here in a few hours, and until then, he planned on enjoying his quiet time with his wife. The babies had grown and were off to school. _The babies. How they hate that nickname, and how Mom and I love it._ He fell back to sleep with his nose buried in her soft hair.

Soft kisses woke him, and he smiled up to his wife as she leaned over him.

"Hey, Sleepy."

"Hi." Lazy kisses turned to heated passion, something that they'd never lost their hunger for.

Hours later, they were dressed and sitting at the table with the Sunday Times crossword puzzle between them. The front door opened, and their quiet domain became filled with happy voices as their children and grandchildren flooded into their living room. Lydia rolled her eyes as her husband pecked her cheek and threw her a wink.

"Hey!" The man let his Marine no-nonsense bark echo over the noise of the others. "You're late."

"We were afraid to get here earlier, Dad." Tony looked completely innocent.

"Afraid? What should I know about?"

"Nothing. Just, well, you and Mom are getting older, and you move slower, and anniversaries…"

"I still got it." Gibbs raised an eyebrow.

"What's Pop-pop got, Daddy?" Oded's little boy, Tyler, asked.

"Nothing, son. Absolutely nothing."

"I never unnerstand!" Tyler wailed into his daddy's leg. Oded's girlfriend laughed nervously. Her family would have never joked about something like this, and she wasn't sure of how to handle it.

"Out of the way, boys. Food's coming through."

The Gibbs men quickly moved aside, clearing a path for Abby, Ziva, Sarah, and Haley to pass with loads of grocery sacks and slow cookers. Lydia exited the kitchen after being told to go control her husband.

"That's something I don't think I'll ever be able to do, girls. He's too old to retrain."

"I heard that!" Laughter had become the language of their home, and today was no exception.

Their large family barely packed into the house now, which was a blessing for the elderly couple. They counted their joys, always starting with their children and their offspring.

Ziva and Avery had hoped to adopt another, but weren't able to, due to her past with the Mossad. Abby and Tim had added two more to their clan, Timmy Junior and Noah, with their youngest being only ten now. Sarah had remarried, and her husband brought along with him three children from his first marriage.

Tony had surprised them by marrying his long-time live in girlfriend only a few months before. It hadn't mattered to them before that they weren't married, but when one of her friends passed and her husband had to fight for their children, Haley had become nervous, and Tony decided that the best way to fix the problem was to just get married. It didn't change a thing for them or how they felt about one another or their children.

Tony had stepped into the role of Dad for Gary when he was four, and when Haley'd given birth to her daughter, Liz, there'd been no question about who she'd know as her Dad. They'd decided to not have any other children, as they had dozens of children to spoil and play with at Best Life.

Lydia stood back watching her children interact. A soft smile lit her face at the sight and sound of their strange and yet beautiful family. Arms wrapped around her, and she leaned back into her husband's chest.

"Happy anniversary, Dad."

"To you, too, Mom. Love you." As they soaked in the love, they knew life didn't get any better than this.


End file.
